Friday, we made it through another week! In all of our lives we have those monsters. It could be a demanding boss. It could be that relative that looks down on us. Anyone in our lives looking for us to fail. Those who are jealous of us. Those who are just unhappy with their own lives. Maybe it is just our inner demons, telling us we can’t succeed.
Like Frank Sinatra said, “The best revenge is massive success.” Of blue eyes was on to something there. Smiling in the face of any monster, be it internal or external, is the greatest victory. You might be asking, “Neil, what if my week was not a success?” Great question. Even if your week has been a total dumpster fire, you are still here. You made it through and there is still the potential for success.
Earl Nightingale gave us this definition of success, “success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” The key word is progressive. As long as you are still working towards your goal, YOU are a success. Enjoy your Friday. Smile at the monster.
Today’s post may seem like a no brainer and it really is. If you want your life to change, you will have to make some changes. If you want your life to get better, you are going to have to get better. I believe Jim Rohn said something like that quite often. What are these changes that we must make? More to the point, how can way maintain the discipline to continue to make them even when the motivation to do so has long faded away? The answer to both is to think backwards. What I mean by that is to get crystal clear on the result you are after. This will make both discovering the changes that need to be made as well as sticking to them a lot easier.
Now that I have found the Jim Rohn quote, let us look at a few examples. Let us say the result is that you would like a better body by this time next year. What changes would you have to make? The clearer you are on the specifics of those changes, the better. At the very least, write the result you are seeking on the top of a piece a paper and the changes you are willing to make underneath. This could include engaging in physical activity at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes. This goal is a lot more powerful than “Move more.” How about changing your eating habits? Instead of writing “Eat better”, try not eating after 7pm. Maybe add have 3 servings of vegetables a day.
This works especially well if your life is a total dumpster fire at this point. Changing your focus on what result you would like to see in your life is a great first step in turning it all around. As you are working towards this result, you can ask yourself the thought-provoking question, “Is this action going to take me closer to, or further away from my result?” That may allow you to pause before having one of those free doughnuts in the breakroom, or telling your friend that you can’t make it to the gym. I find it is also helpful to have measurable points along the way. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds by next year, it would help you to break that down by 12 to see how much you should be losing each month. That would be 2.5 pounds a month in this case. If we only think about 30 pounds a year from now, one doughnut may not seem that big of a deal. When we know we have to lose 2.5 pounds in the next 30 days, it becomes a little more of a big deal. Same with skipping the workout.
Pick your result and write it at the top of a piece of paper. Then, list the changes you will need to make in order to reach that result. Be prepared to do what Jim Rohn said – If you want your life to be better, you must get better. If you want your life to change, you must be willing to change.
As you can see, here at secret2anamazinglife.com, we are celebrating 400 days straight of bringing you motivational and inspirational content. Technically, we are on vacation right now. Even while enjoying the bliss that is time away from the daily grind we must still keep our goals firmly in sight. In this case, that is sharing a post everyday this year.
How about you? What goals are you pursuing? What are the likely distractions that could get you off course? Even by writing them down, you are more likely to overcome them because you will be on the lookout for them. This week, focus on your goals. Hopefully you already have those writtendown. If not, do so right away. Also write down distractions that may tripyou up so you can be on the lookout for them as well.
I want to share a story about a farmer with you. There was a young man who wanted to be a farmer. He thought it would be an easy endeavor. “All you do is plant the seed and the crop comes.” He believed all he would have to do was work one time and he would reap the rewards as long as the crop grew. He bought some seeds and quickly put them in the ground. Then he proceeded to relax in the knowledge that soon the crop would come and he would be rich.
A few days went by and there was no crop to speak of. Concerned the young farmer went out and dug up the seeds to see why they were not growing. The few he found had not even sprouted. He put them back in the ground and began to impatiently wait some more. A few more days; still no plants. He decided the seeds he had got where no good and went back in town to complain to the seed store where he had purchased them. “Those seeds were just fine.” the man behind the counter informed him. “Farmer John bought the same seeds and already has a crop coming in.” Informed he would not get his money back, he decided to start bad-mouthing the store and its owner to everyone in town. Within a few minutes he ran into farmer John. “What kind of soil did you plant those seeds in? Was it properly tilled?” farmer John asked him. The man said he had just placed the seeds in the land behind his house. “Did you at least water and fertilize them?” Farmer John asked. The young farmer looked down as he confessed ignorance to knowing that he was required to do that. “Oh yes. Not to mention you must look out for the weeds and the insects that will come to ruin your crop once it starts growing.” farmer john offered. The young farmer just walked away meekly complaining about the bad seeds he was sold.
This farmer may sound like a complete idiot. Perhaps he should have learned about farming and what was involved before getting started. He should have not have been looking for the easy way out. Before we pass judgement on our young farmer friend, let us make sure we do not have more in common with him that we think. How many of us are looking for an opportunity to take the easy road in life? Whether that is playing the lottery, hitting up the casino or buying into some get rich quick scheme? Maybe we even think starting our own business is the way to riches.
For every budding entrepreneur, there are a million who dive in planting seeds without testing or tilling the soil. That is, they start businesses without knowledge of what is really involved. They do not develop their own self-discipline and work ethic. They do not craft a solid business plan. They do not research markets and set a good foundation. They also are not patient to understand the time it may take to succeed. They are like our young farmer digging up seeds they just planted. They move from one opportunity to another. They also do not take the time to invest in their endeavors. Putting in the effort. They think they can just put in effort one time and it will succeed. This makes no more sense than skipping the watering and fertilizing like our young farmer. What about preparing for those pesky weeds and insects? In every endeavor we embark on, there will be challenges and people who will be obstacles on our path to success. If we are not prepared for that, it will destroy our crop as farmer John warned.
How about you? Are you taking all the steps necessary to be a successful farmer? Are you setting a foundation to make sure your undertaking has the best possibility to succeed, or are you just starting anywhere? Once you have begun, are you willing to put in the work even after you start seeing results? How about those insects and weeds, or negative people and challenges, that will show up? To you have a plan in place to deal with them, or will you let them destroy your crop you have worked so hard on? Be a smart farmer. Be like farmer John.
*Side note – my grandfather’s name was John and he was a farmer as a young man.
Our lives are a constant balancing act. We must make sure to balance enough self-care and relaxation with our efforts to create and maintain the life we desire. That equation changes daily. Some days we work more and some days we recharge more.
One temptation on the weekend is to throw that scale 100% in the direction of relaxation. After all, you did just work hard all week right? I am one for making the most out of the time we have for recharging. Especially after we earn it. Just as spending all of our time working is not healthy for us, neither is 100% relaxation.
Working all the time without recharging will lead to burnout and a host of physical problems. Spending of our time on leisure activities will lead to us falling behind on our dreams and leave us feeling frustrated and even disappointed in ourselves.
This weekend, just do one thing that will bring you closer to your goals. Remember, most people do not work on the weekends. If you want a life that is more amazing than the average person, you will need to put in a little work. I would love to hear what one thing you will do this weekend to bring you closer to your goals!
There are many self-improvement aspects that seem like an obvious conclusion to me. One of those is that you tend to be like the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. Stop and take a mental inventory of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Can you see things you all have in common? The ironic thing is that this is one of the things people really seem to push back on. I am not sure why. If you surround yourself with people who are poor and struggling to manage their money, it is highly unlikely you will learn any financial skills from them. “I am going to be the difference!” I hear people say all of the time. It is true, that you could be the one who changes the group you hang out in. It is rather like swimming up stream, however.
Let us say you are trying to live a life that is more positive and inspired. Your friends, on the other hand, are a rather negative bunch. While you may be reading inspirational books, listening to some inspiring podcasts and whatever else you can think of to change your state, you are going to be surrounded by people who are pointing out what is wrong in the world, telling you about their medical problems, and generally being in a depressed state. That will make it a little more difficult for you to look on the sunny side of the street. Going back to our earlier financial example, if you are looking to get yourself on a good financial footing, but your friends constantly find themselves brook, it could be a long road. Maybe you could read books on investing, talk to a financial advisor and set up an automatic savings deposit. However, your friends will be showing your their purchases from Amazon, ordering out dinner every night, wearing the most expensive brand shoes and clothes and wondering how to pay the electric bill. Which one of them will help assure you of a happy retirement?
I am not telling you that you have to get rid of all of your friends, or even some of your friends. Merely suggesting that if you would like to improve your life and do so in an easier way, you might want to consider who you spend a good deal of time around. Think of people who embody traits you would like to have. Consider those people who you feel could teach, inspire and encourage you on your journey. Then, make a point of taking them out to dinner or for a coffee. Just soak up their energy. While doing so make sure to share yours as well. Be authentically yourself. You will shine your light and attract those who you can serve by just being you. The greatest part about this life-improving lesson is that you have total control over it. Who you choose to spend your time around, for the most part, is up to you. Make sure you make this decision wisely as it has a great impact.
This weekend make sure to take time to recharge. However, be aware we also need to put in the effort. Getting ahead means doing the little extra that others won’t. That means putting in some hours at night, and yes on weekends, to pursue that big dream or goal of ours.
The level of success that we achieve has a direct correlation with the amount of effort we put in. That is ax thought worth keeping in mind this weekend. When you feel like binge watching a show, or spending all day in bed, ask yourself how successful you really want to be. If you are not looking to be that successful, than stay in front of that television or in that bed. Since you are reading a blog about the secrets to an amazing life, I’m guessing you want more. Remember, you can only achieve more, by doing more!
Many people forget that the weekend is a great time to make progress on their life goals. Yes,I get it. You have just worked all week and want to relax,and you should. Still, if we hope to see any progress in life,we must take action.
I work 50 hours a week at my day job. I also DJ on Sunday. Guess how I feel a good deal of the time? If your answer was “What is tired Alex?” (mynod to the show jeopardy) you would be correct. Most nights I would love nothing more than to come home and collapse in the arms of the lady I love. If I did that, I might not be as physically tired, but I would have no spiritual satisfaction.
Although writing a blog every day and working on my fourth book, to say nothing of promoting both, takes time from an already busy schedule, it also provides satisfaction. Without the action I take, my life would feel unfulfilled. Actions give us a feeling of progress. That can lead to momentum. So write a page towards that novel you dreamt of creating. Start on that painting. Work on that business plan.
It is important to get rest, but make sure you are also taking action toward reaching your goals. It will give your life a sense of meaning and you a feeling of fulfillment.
For the last several months I have been working on my fourth book, From Ruining Livers to Saving Souls. It chronicles my journey from bartender to self-improvement author and blogger. It contains many amusing and funny personal anecdotes. I was 30,000 words in and had slated a late-spring/early-summer release. Last Saturday, I made a very important and difficult decision – I will not be releasing this book. After reading what I had written, and lots of personal reflection, I decided the content, although quite entertaining, did not fit the message I was trying to convey. The months of work and 30,000 words I had composed would not see the light of day.
This also means there will be no book from yours truly in 2023. This is both deflating and liberating. It will allow me to focus on other endeavors such as this blog and my podcast – Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. It also stresses the importance of investing more thought into the planning process of what the message of the fourth book will be. It is my belief the writing will be stronger and do more good than had I released what I wrote earlier this year. A good book should place the focus on the reader. In my case, not only do I want to entertain them, but serve them as well. I promise that my fourth book will not be released until it accomplishes both.
Giving up on a goal can be a very difficult decision. Starting over can seem so deflating and hard to do. Just like going back to the gym after slipping during the holidays. It does not have to be an end, but can serve as a more powerful beginning. When we start over it is not starting from scratch. It is beginning with more information, even if that is just what doesn’t work, than we had the first time. If there is a goal that you know may not be right for you, it is ok to throw it away and start over. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it may take longer. Most importantly, yes, it will be worth it.
A lot of us are looking to make a great change in the world. I can appreciate that. It is my own desire to be a best-selling author who positively impacts the lives of millions. In our urgency to create drastic change, we must keep in mind that every journey starts with that first step. We look forward to the end result we are pursuing, but seldom take a hard look at those first steps. Life seldom creates change all at once. The odds I am going to wake up as a best-selling author tomorrow are fairly slim. (Oprah, you know the number. Feel free to call.)
My work as a life coach reminds me often of how to accomplish large goals. In life coaching, we take a look at where someone wants to go first. Let us take the example of wanting to be a best-selling author who positively impacts millions. Good goal. Next, we take a look at where that person is. In this case, a local author working diligently on his fourth book. Then we work backwards to develop a list of smaller goals to bridge the gap from where that person is to where they want to go. When you work backwards like this, you can begin to see the value in the smaller steps you must take.
NEIL PANOSIAN
In the case of me becoming a best-selling author, I need to take some steps to get there. One of the first steps was to write a book. That sounds like an obvious first step. What we need to do is drill down even further. We need to write the first chapter, the first line, the first word. Even before we write anything we need to consolidate our ideas and research and organize them. After we write, we must decide what route to go for publishing. Even after the book is in our hands, we need to discover the best way to get it into everyone else’s hands. If we focused on how to get our book to the masses before we even write it, that would not be very productive.
Whatever goal you are currently chasing, try using the same process we just outlined. Get clear what the goal you are working to accomplish is. Next, discover honestly where you are currently. This is a step many people struggle with. Think of a map. If you have a place you would like to get to, but you do not know where you are, how would you even know what direction to travel in? Next, break down that journey into smaller and smaller steps. The more steps you have, the more likely you are to continue to make progress. Once you begin to make progress, then you gain momentum. That will keep you going. Before long your goal will be in sight. Take that first small step. You never know where it may lead.
