Our lives are a constant balancing act. We must make sure to balance enough self-care and relaxation with our efforts to create and maintain the life we desire. That equation changes daily. Some days we work more and some days we recharge more.
One temptation on the weekend is to throw that scale 100% in the direction of relaxation. After all, you did just work hard all week right? I am one for making the most out of the time we have for recharging. Especially after we earn it. Just as spending all of our time working is not healthy for us, neither is 100% relaxation.
Working all the time without recharging will lead to burnout and a host of physical problems. Spending of our time on leisure activities will lead to us falling behind on our dreams and leave us feeling frustrated and even disappointed in ourselves.
This weekend, just do one thing that will bring you closer to your goals. Remember, most people do not work on the weekends. If you want a life that is more amazing than the average person, you will need to put in a little work. I would love to hear what one thing you will do this weekend to bring you closer to your goals!
There are many self-improvement aspects that seem like an obvious conclusion to me. One of those is that you tend to be like the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. Stop and take a mental inventory of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Can you see things you all have in common? The ironic thing is that this is one of the things people really seem to push back on. I am not sure why. If you surround yourself with people who are poor and struggling to manage their money, it is highly unlikely you will learn any financial skills from them. “I am going to be the difference!” I hear people say all of the time. It is true, that you could be the one who changes the group you hang out in. It is rather like swimming up stream, however.
Let us say you are trying to live a life that is more positive and inspired. Your friends, on the other hand, are a rather negative bunch. While you may be reading inspirational books, listening to some inspiring podcasts and whatever else you can think of to change your state, you are going to be surrounded by people who are pointing out what is wrong in the world, telling you about their medical problems, and generally being in a depressed state. That will make it a little more difficult for you to look on the sunny side of the street. Going back to our earlier financial example, if you are looking to get yourself on a good financial footing, but your friends constantly find themselves brook, it could be a long road. Maybe you could read books on investing, talk to a financial advisor and set up an automatic savings deposit. However, your friends will be showing your their purchases from Amazon, ordering out dinner every night, wearing the most expensive brand shoes and clothes and wondering how to pay the electric bill. Which one of them will help assure you of a happy retirement?
I am not telling you that you have to get rid of all of your friends, or even some of your friends. Merely suggesting that if you would like to improve your life and do so in an easier way, you might want to consider who you spend a good deal of time around. Think of people who embody traits you would like to have. Consider those people who you feel could teach, inspire and encourage you on your journey. Then, make a point of taking them out to dinner or for a coffee. Just soak up their energy. While doing so make sure to share yours as well. Be authentically yourself. You will shine your light and attract those who you can serve by just being you. The greatest part about this life-improving lesson is that you have total control over it. Who you choose to spend your time around, for the most part, is up to you. Make sure you make this decision wisely as it has a great impact.
This weekend make sure to take time to recharge. However, be aware we also need to put in the effort. Getting ahead means doing the little extra that others won’t. That means putting in some hours at night, and yes on weekends, to pursue that big dream or goal of ours.
The level of success that we achieve has a direct correlation with the amount of effort we put in. That is ax thought worth keeping in mind this weekend. When you feel like binge watching a show, or spending all day in bed, ask yourself how successful you really want to be. If you are not looking to be that successful, than stay in front of that television or in that bed. Since you are reading a blog about the secrets to an amazing life, I’m guessing you want more. Remember, you can only achieve more, by doing more!
Many people forget that the weekend is a great time to make progress on their life goals. Yes,I get it. You have just worked all week and want to relax,and you should. Still, if we hope to see any progress in life,we must take action.
I work 50 hours a week at my day job. I also DJ on Sunday. Guess how I feel a good deal of the time? If your answer was “What is tired Alex?” (mynod to the show jeopardy) you would be correct. Most nights I would love nothing more than to come home and collapse in the arms of the lady I love. If I did that, I might not be as physically tired, but I would have no spiritual satisfaction.
Although writing a blog every day and working on my fourth book, to say nothing of promoting both, takes time from an already busy schedule, it also provides satisfaction. Without the action I take, my life would feel unfulfilled. Actions give us a feeling of progress. That can lead to momentum. So write a page towards that novel you dreamt of creating. Start on that painting. Work on that business plan.
It is important to get rest, but make sure you are also taking action toward reaching your goals. It will give your life a sense of meaning and you a feeling of fulfillment.
For the last several months I have been working on my fourth book, From Ruining Livers to Saving Souls. It chronicles my journey from bartender to self-improvement author and blogger. It contains many amusing and funny personal anecdotes. I was 30,000 words in and had slated a late-spring/early-summer release. Last Saturday, I made a very important and difficult decision – I will not be releasing this book. After reading what I had written, and lots of personal reflection, I decided the content, although quite entertaining, did not fit the message I was trying to convey. The months of work and 30,000 words I had composed would not see the light of day.
This also means there will be no book from yours truly in 2023. This is both deflating and liberating. It will allow me to focus on other endeavors such as this blog and my podcast – Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. It also stresses the importance of investing more thought into the planning process of what the message of the fourth book will be. It is my belief the writing will be stronger and do more good than had I released what I wrote earlier this year. A good book should place the focus on the reader. In my case, not only do I want to entertain them, but serve them as well. I promise that my fourth book will not be released until it accomplishes both.
Giving up on a goal can be a very difficult decision. Starting over can seem so deflating and hard to do. Just like going back to the gym after slipping during the holidays. It does not have to be an end, but can serve as a more powerful beginning. When we start over it is not starting from scratch. It is beginning with more information, even if that is just what doesn’t work, than we had the first time. If there is a goal that you know may not be right for you, it is ok to throw it away and start over. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it may take longer. Most importantly, yes, it will be worth it.
A lot of us are looking to make a great change in the world. I can appreciate that. It is my own desire to be a best-selling author who positively impacts the lives of millions. In our urgency to create drastic change, we must keep in mind that every journey starts with that first step. We look forward to the end result we are pursuing, but seldom take a hard look at those first steps. Life seldom creates change all at once. The odds I am going to wake up as a best-selling author tomorrow are fairly slim. (Oprah, you know the number. Feel free to call.)
My work as a life coach reminds me often of how to accomplish large goals. In life coaching, we take a look at where someone wants to go first. Let us take the example of wanting to be a best-selling author who positively impacts millions. Good goal. Next, we take a look at where that person is. In this case, a local author working diligently on his fourth book. Then we work backwards to develop a list of smaller goals to bridge the gap from where that person is to where they want to go. When you work backwards like this, you can begin to see the value in the smaller steps you must take.
NEIL PANOSIAN
In the case of me becoming a best-selling author, I need to take some steps to get there. One of the first steps was to write a book. That sounds like an obvious first step. What we need to do is drill down even further. We need to write the first chapter, the first line, the first word. Even before we write anything we need to consolidate our ideas and research and organize them. After we write, we must decide what route to go for publishing. Even after the book is in our hands, we need to discover the best way to get it into everyone else’s hands. If we focused on how to get our book to the masses before we even write it, that would not be very productive.
Whatever goal you are currently chasing, try using the same process we just outlined. Get clear what the goal you are working to accomplish is. Next, discover honestly where you are currently. This is a step many people struggle with. Think of a map. If you have a place you would like to get to, but you do not know where you are, how would you even know what direction to travel in? Next, break down that journey into smaller and smaller steps. The more steps you have, the more likely you are to continue to make progress. Once you begin to make progress, then you gain momentum. That will keep you going. Before long your goal will be in sight. Take that first small step. You never know where it may lead.
Picture this. A man gets in a taxi cab. The driver asks him, “Where will you be going today?” The man refuses to tell the driver. How far do you think he will get? If the cab drives off at all, he will be lucky to get anywhere. Let us picture a different situation with our friend in the cab. After the driver inquires as to his desired destination, our peculiar traveler has not only one answer, but several. As soon as the driver begins to take him anywhere near a destination he changes his mind and yells out a new one. What will happen then? Depending on how patient the cab driver is, the man will spend the afternoon driving around the city and paying the cab driver a lot of money.
These situations may sound comical to us. How ridiculous would it be to start out on a journey without having a destination in mind? How far would we get if we change our destination as soon as we make any progress toward the one we are traveling to? We would not get very far at all. Yet, as we begin a day and just go through the motions, that is exactly what we are doing. When we set out in life without a purpose, we end up being used to serve someone else’s purpose. It is equally as senseless to start one thing and hop to another and another. We end up making very little progress.
Like the photo above says, if you wake up without a goal, go back to bed. We excel so much greater when we have a purpose and direction in life. I suggest having a goal every day. If we do not it would be like getting in our car, shifting to neutral, and pressing the accelerator. We may put a lot of energy and power behind it, but without direction, we will get nowhere.
I heard this adage in a motivational speech I was listening to the other day. It really struck me as one of the great secrets to an amazing life. It not only works in the realm of walking, but transfers to all areas of life. If you tie your motivation for doing something to the end goal, you will only be motivated for so long and at a certain intensity. Not to mention, goals and destinations change. What we need to do is fall in love with processes. What do I mean by falling in love with the process and not just the end goal? Let us take a look.
If we take the example of walking, it will show us what we are looking at. If you are motivated to walk simply to reach a destination, you will approach it in a certain way. You will just consider what it will take to get from point A to point B. If, however, you are looking to enjoy the process of walking, you will approach it in an entirely different manner. You will look for the most comfortable walking shoes. You will make sure you are hydrated and take water with you for your walk. You would take steps to enjoy the process. This is the same if you are trying to get in shape, advance in your career, or any other aspect of life.
Most of our life is spent on the journey and very little of it is spent arriving at a destination. If we tie our happiness to the achievement of goals, we will be unhappy the majority of the time. It would be far wiser, and serve us far greater, to find happiness in the process of achieving our goals. Think of something you are currently chasing. This could be wanting to achieve that summer beach body, create more joy and less stress in your life or anything else. Then, ask yourself the very important question – “What can I do to bring joy to the process of what I am now doing?” If it is getting in shape, find an activity that you enjoy. This could be walking in nature. It could be swimming and pretending you are on vacation. It could be playing basketball with friends. If your goal is to create more love in your relationship, how could you make the process of that fun and enjoyable? As a bonus, the more you can enjoy the process, the more likely you are to stick with it. As it was stated in the title, you are likely to walk further.
Here is a quick reminder. Keep your focus on where your are going, not what you have to overcome to get there. By focusing on the end goal, your journey feels like…well…a journey. When you focus on each obstacle, life can feel like an endless series of obstacles. It can destroy motivation. Keeping your focus on the the prize can give you that little boost of passion and excitement that comes in handy when things seem darkest.
I suggest using as many senses and reminders of your end goal as you can. Have a picture somewhere you see regularly. Create an affirmation that fires you up emotionally. Have it printed out in several locations. Read it when you are feeling your motivation start to slip. Write out what your typical day will be like after your goal is reached. Read that several times a week to keep the image sharp in your mind. These tools will keep you focused on where you are going and the obstacles will just become part of the journey.
What methods do you use to stay focused on your goals? Share with us so we can all expand our ability to succeed.
Here we are again, talking about daily habits. Why is this such a hot topic lately? It is because, as John Maxwell puts it, “The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” We have been discussing habits, routines and daily actions a lot here lately. We have seen how a seemingly insignificant action (20 squats) done over the course of enough time (200 days) can have a huge impact. Think of turning on your facet to just barely drip. Then place a glass underneath it. By the time you wake up, you will have a nice glass of water ready to drink.
We have been using this method to accomplish things such as keeping up with a healthy fitness habit. It can be used for things far greater. Let us look at your relationships. This could be coworkers, friends, family or your intimate partner. One of the ideas we gave for sticking with your habit was to set an alarm on your phone to remind you. What if you set an alarm for 5 minutes after you left work to remind you to give your spouse a sincere compliment? What if you set it for 5 minutes before work to remind yourself to show your coworkers signs of appreciation? It may not make a difference in the short-term, but hearing a sincere compliment or appreciation will strengthen and grow that relationship. Trust me, I use this myself. I no longer need to set an alarm, as it has just become part of a daily practice. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have a reminder.
Even if your compliments fall flat. Even if your signs of appreciation may seem…well…unappreciated, the effort will not. Your daily sincere compliments or signs of appreciation, or squats for that matter, are showing that you are trying to bring a better version of you to the table. That will always make you more attractive. Not to mention those squats will do wonders for your backside! Daily habits are the key to success in any endeavor. Think of what daily habits you can use to set yourself up for success!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 