Tag: goals

WHY THE HURRY?

One of the main questions i get asked doing my seminars is “why is happiness so important?”. Why not teach people how to make lots of money? When people are rich they are a lot happier right? Let me ask you this, when someone close to you passes away does your bank account matter? When you get your heart broke does how much you are worth matter? In response to this a lot of people tell me that everyone they know is healthy. Their love life is amazing and in fact they are pretty happy. Another group of people have this answer, “I’ll be happy when…”. The second half of that statement varies, but basically says that some outside circumstance determines your happiness.

Let’s tackle the first statement. If your life is going well, that is awesome! Take notes. That is what makes a successful life. What do I mean take notes? When life is working take notes. Pay attention to what is working for you. Same when life isn’t working. Take notes. That way you will have a recipe that works for your life. Why worry about happiness when you already have it? Simple, life is always changing. In fact, when you are happy is the perfect time to learn about and design your happiness. Our mind is clear, and we will be better prepared to face challenges when they come. If you and your friends planned a white water rafting trip would you wait to learn to swim until you fell out of the raft? Of course not. So learning to manage your emotional state, or to maintain a positive attitude is a skill that not only affects every area of our life, but will determine how much we enjoy the life we have.

That leads us to the second answer. The “I’ll be happy when..” people. So you are waiting for the kids to go off to college and then you will be happy? You are waiting until you get that new promotion  and then you will be happy? What will you be doing in the meantime? Reacting to how life decides to treat you? What if that promotion never comes? What if someone close to you passes away? Not a pleasant thought, but it could happen. Then you find yourself saying “I wish I would have enjoyed life more with….”. Here is one other fact, we never know when our time is up. You could eat healthy, go to the gym everyday and life could take you out. So why put off enjoying life? Enjoy the journey. Begin today! Develop and feed your happiness. Life will begin to be so magical. It was John Lennon who said “life is what happens when we are busy making plans”. Do not let that be you. Do not be so focused on a destination you miss the journey. 90% of our time is spent in the journey. So how do we do that? Come back tomorrow and we will tackle that subject.

In the meantime please help me bring light to the world by sharing this blog post on your social media page and by telling your friends about secret2anamazinglife.com.

GO BIG OR GO HOME!

There is a quote by Nelson Mandela that reads,

“You’re playing small does not serve the world.  Who are you not to be great”

This statement could not ring more true. How many of us know people who have enormous amount of talent, but fail to act on it out of fear of failure or even fear of success. 

I recall a recent conversation i had with a young man who was just finding his way in the world. He approached me and inquired as follows,  “being a life coach, what do you think i should do with my life?”. For years i asked myself the same question. The answer I believe has two parts to it.  

First, what can you do to bring the most to the world. Our world is always in need of help in many different areas. A sense of Contribution is one of the basic human spiritual needs. If you feel what you are doing does not matter you face two challenges. One, the ability to get up and do it when the weather is too cold, or too hot, or too wet. Perhaps when you have had too much the night before, or not enough. Two, if you feel what you do does not make a difference you lose your feeling of self worth. Your spirit begins to die. The “who cares if i don’t show up anyway”.

The second question we should ask ourselves when deciding our lot in life is what do we enjoy. If you are going to do something 40 hours a week (or more) it should be something you enjoy. Something that stirs our soul. When we are doing something we enjoy we tend to work harder and do a better job. 

When I tell people this they often find these two in conflict. I knew a man who really liked to paint. He told me painting brings me a sense of fulfillment, but i don’t think my paintings contribute anything to the world. What the world needs is people living their dreams. People of passion who are full of love for life. These people tend to be kinder and contribute more than those who are doing a job that they think is important but doesn’t speak to their soul. 

Ok, but what about making a living? Obviously that is important. I advise people to break down what needs their passion fills. In the case of the painter he should pursue a job that fuels his creativity while he markets his paintings. Sometimes we must begin our dreams as hobbies. 

So ask yourself those two questions. “What can i contribute?” And “what do i enjoy?”. Often what you enjoy will be the area on which can contribute the most. 

JUST ONE THING

Normally there is not a blog post on this site on Sunday, but it is new years day and i would love to help you get a jump on having an amazing 2017.

Today is a day traditionally a lot of us make resolutions. Usually, judging by the crowds at the gym, they usually last about a month or so. Why are resolutions so hard to keep? There are a million possible answers and it greatly depends on you. 

One of the dilemmas we face is in the enormity of some of the goals we set for ourselves. So here is a fun activity we can all try. It involves doing one simple thing, once a week. Kind of like replacing one of your meals with a salad once a week do try and begin to eat more healthy. Sometimes adding something small can be easier to stick with and can build a foundation to make bigger changes. Not to mention, this one is fun!

Ok he is the drill. Find a jar. It can be one you have laying around the house you decorate, or you can go to the home store and pick one out. Part of the fun is being creative.  Do what speaks to you. Now place the jar somewhere you will see regularly. Place by this jar a small stack of papers and a pen. Pick a day on which you can regularly depend. Be it Monday to start the week, Friday at the end or any of the other five. On that day write on one of the pieces of paper either something that made you happy or something you are grateful for that week. You can do both if you like. 

What you do with your jar is up to you. Some people read through it when they are having a bad day. Some pick days and open it and read them all. Some friends wait until the next December and look back at all the good they had that year. Any of these are great! You could even do them all. 

This is a simple, fun idea that only takes a couple of seconds once a week. Try it this year and see where it takes you. Maybe share the idea with a friend and design your jars together. Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments below. 

POWERFUL, SIMPLE BUT A GREAT CHALLENGE 

What I’m about to share with you is something that can have a tremendous effect on your life. It is simple and may in fact be something you already know. this simple thing, however, is very difficult to master. 

I am often asked for the ‘secret’ to my happy life. How in the face of challenges do i more often than not remain positive. It is through this practice, of which i am still working on, that my inner peace and positivity have been developed. 

Before i share exactly what it is i strive to do, please allow me to put forth a question. Do you know someone, perhaps the person in the mirror who often finds themselves overwhelmed and burned out by their daily lives? Do you also know someone who is always full of life and eager for what is next? In life most of us have experienced a little bit of both. Sadly, most of us live in the former. 

So how do we fill our life with passion and energy? The answer is at once both simple and perhaps our greatest challenge. In a nutshell there are only 2 thought patterns worth spending our daily energy on. 

First is the present moment and what good we can find in it. This provides its own challenge especially in difficult situations. Staying present can at once allow us to savor good moments and put challenging ones in perspective . 

The second thought pattern is what can i do in the near future to create the outcome i desire or at least move closer to it. 

The past has its purpose in teaching us and noticing patterns of behavior , but to dwell and live in the past (the ‘if only’ thought pattern) robs us of our present moment and the opportunities of joy it contains. Not to mention there is no transformational value to Dwelling on the past. No matter how much we cry over spilled milk it will not put it back in the glass. 

The same holds true with living in the future. True, it is important to know where we want to go and to set goals. Even taking brief trips to the future to visualize what we want to happen is helpful. Then it is time to return to the present and take actions that will lead us in that direction. Living in the future  (the ‘i will be happy when’ pattern of thinking) also robs of the joy in the present moment. 

When sharing this with a recent coworker she remarked how difficult this can be. The passing of loved ones, trouble at work,  an impending divorce all take our attention elsewhere. Momentarily that is ok, but spending a great deal of time there drains our emotional energy and leaves us little if anything to show for it. 

Is this easy? Not at all. In fact daily i am still working on it. One thing is for sure, it is worth it.  When you find yourself able to stay present and focused you will experience a sense of inner peace and joy that is hard to explain. I  welcome your ideas for staying present and limiting worry in the comments below 

DON’T FALL INTO A RUT

Raise your hand if you have every tried to change an unhealthy habit. Ok, now raise your hand if you have found it extremely hard to do and have went back to the more familiar, although perhaps less healthy way? Ok, you can put your hand down now as depending upon where you are reading this it may look a little funny. I think we have all found ourselves in that situation at least once. Sure, you would like to make it to the gym every morning but that warm bed and few more minutes of sleep feel really good.

Did you know the gym is probably the better option? Sure. You may even know as contrary as it sounds exercise provides you more energy. So why not jump out of bed? You may tell yourself things like I am lazy, or I just wanted more sleep. Well, to some degree those may be true scientists tell us there tends to be a little more to it than that.

New habits take about 21 days to develop. Who would really do something 21 days that is difficult and may not be initially enjoyable? Those who rise to the top. I can safely admit I do not follow this as often as I would like and it is a struggle for me as well. Still I think knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel, say in 21 days, can really help. I personally like to try things for a solid month. A good way to stay motivated is to use your calendar. Every day you stick with your goal put an ‘x’ check mark, smiley face or some symbol that works for you. Then as you count them up you can see yourself getting closer to that goal. Perhaps even put a big smiley face on the 21 or 30 day mark, whatever you are shooting for. Then as the days pass by you can see yourself getting closer.

If you have any suggestions that you use to stay motivated to start your new healthy habit feel free to share them in the comments below.

CANI

The title of this blog may seem like a mistake, but please allow me to explain. It actually stands for ‘Constant and never-ending improvement’. As you can see by the picture I have been writing this blog for 4 years now. It really does not seem that long, and I have to confess I enjoy every day that I do it. It is my sincerest hope that if you go back and read my blogs from years past my writing would sound more improved today.

The more we do something the better we get at it. That can’t really be avoided. We learn things we didn’t know before both about ourselves and our subject matter. This website is dedicated to helping all of us live a more amazing life. Not only do I hope it has helped some of you, but writing these thoughts down has helped me as well. Spending my times researching ways in which people improve their life has helped me with my own as well.

So as this year draws to a close and we look back on all we have done in the last 12 months we can often be left with feelings of failure and regret. I know there were several things I had personally hoped to accomplish that have not come into existence yet. We can use these feelings in several ways. First, feeling that pain of regret should motivate us to work harder in the future. Realize that what we are now feeling is in large part due to our own inaction, or lack of consistent action. This may not sound so inspiring, but if we are going to improve we need to be honest with ourselves. My goal was to have my latest book completed by the end of the year. It is nowhere near done and so in that sense I have failed. That being said, I am using this feeling to motivate myself to have a complete book by this time next year.

That leads us to our next action we can take. Use the final month of the year to set yourself up for victory in the coming year. Sit down with a pad of paper and a pen. List things you feel you did not succeed at this year. Now think of and write down actions you can take, plans you can put in place, or other things you can do to assure success next year. Use the final month of the year to make a commitment to yourself. Use it as a practice month for what you are going to do next year.

One final note going back to the beginning of this post. No matter what you feel you did not accomplish this year know one thing, just by going through what you did you are a more complete person that you were 12 months ago. You have made it through all of your trials and challenges and as New Years day approaches you should feel good about that. Do not let it dull your drive, but do know as long as you are still in the game victory is right around the corner.

THE ONE THING YOU MUST CHANGE FOR YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE

I am a person who likes nothing about winter.  I am not a fan of driving on icy roads, nor freezing temperature and shoveling.  I used to spend a good portion of the winter wishing it were summer. Do you know what that got me here in Wisconsin? Frustrated. It became very apparent that as much as I would have liked circumstances to change, mother nature would always follow fall with winter. Some were mild, some were fierce but they always came. 

Ok great story, but what did I learn from all of this? I learned that life is a lot like the seasons, always changing. You most take advantage of what it offers you.  Plant in spring, harvest in fall. When a winter period of your life comes whether it be financial or even a broken heart know that it is a season and shall pass. 

Also, like the weather we can do certain things to prepare for the seasons. Meaning  life does not change until we do. If I sat in my front yard in a speedo during winter complaining how cold it is and waiting for it to get warm the only things that would happen is I would either die from exposure or be taken to jail for indecent exposure because trust me, nobody wants to see me in a speedo. Instead of waiting for the season to change, I could change myself.  Put a warm coat on. Spend time inside with a warm cup of coffee and my hot lady.  

My point is this, we can complain about how bad it is and wait for the world to change, or we can change ourselves and create our own circumstances. We do not see the world as it is , we see the world as we are. 

Feel free to share this post on all your social media pages and spread the word about positivity. Also feel free to check out all the other posts at Secret2anamazinglife

 

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

This is a subject I have done posts on in the past, but it is so important we are going to look at it again. What it the purpose of your life? If you ask most people you know you will probably get a blank stare,a shrug of the shoulders or a simple “I don’t know”. You may get something about winning the lottery or even just making it to retirement. These are not purposes that get us to jump out of bed in the morning.

Let me put it another way.  If you were playing a game and in this game there was a game board, game pieces and some dice. Someone just told you to sit down and play. You would not know where to start from. Is it the center of the board? The outside? You would not know where you are going or even how you are supposed to move or get there. Nevermind the fact that you wouldn’t know how to win the game. So, how long do you think you would play that game? Not very long I imagine. Sadly, this is what most of us do with our lives on a daily basis. We wake up with no real purpose other than to make it through the day and pay the bills. On occasion we come up with temporary goals.  Maybe we are saving up for a vacation. Maybe we are going back to school. Those goals, although better than none at all, are temporary.

We need to ask ourselves what do we want our lives to bring to the world? What will people remember about us after we are gone? I suggest thinking backwards starting at the end of our lives. What would we to have done for our friends? Our spouse? Our children and the world we live in? Whatever those goals are we can start taking steps, no matter how small, to achieve them today.  If you need additional ideas I suggest watching my YouTube video WRITE YOUR OWN EULOGY it will give you motivation to get started today. None of us know how long we have to make something of our lives, but we all know we should start today!


PROOF YOU CAN DO IT!

This is a tattoo on the arm of my lady. It says “sing”. Recently she has faced some pretty tough personal challenges that have left her not only drained, but wondering if she can even make it through. We were laying down discussing this idea when I noticed her tattoo. What does her tattoo have to do with her daily challenges? Let me catch you all up to speed.

These days my lady and I work together 4 nights a week as DJs. Not only is she a wiz with the computer and the sound equipment, but she can sing like an angel. There are several songs she sings that take my breath away. In fact, often people will request she sings certain songs because they like her singing them better than the original. It was this very skill that stole my heart and brought us together in the first place. Here is where things get interesting. One fine evening I inquired as to how she began her career as a DJ. As we discussed how she began she told me an interesting story about the first time she sang. A good friend of hers, who was “Looking out for her best interests” told her that she was terrible and should not sing again. Thankfully she did not listen because not only would we not have fallen in love, but she would not have been able to bring the joy that she has to countless of people with her voice.

Let me tie this all together and give you something you can use immediately to grow your confidence and help you make it through any challenge you are facing. So my lady’s tattoo says ‘sing’ if she would have listened to her well meaning friend she may have never discovered one of her most amazing talents. She worked through the criticism and nervousness that she faced the next time she sang. By doing so she gave life to one of the most beautiful things about her. I told her whenever she doubts she can make it through something to look at that tattoo and remember how she turned what seemed to be a failure into a great skill and success.

So what does this all have to do with you and I? Each one of us has had challenges we thought we could not make it through. In fact, you may be going through one as you read this. The fact that you are reading this means you have made it through every challenge you have faced in your life so far. This can be very difficult to remember when we are going through something emotionally and/or physically trying. That is where a symbol comes in. In my lady’s case it is her tattoo. What is it in yours? Perhaps a trophy you earned? A picture of a goal accomplished? A talisman from a meaningful place you have been? Even journal entries come in play. By reading your thoughts as you went through a challenge in the past, perhaps maybe even one you thought you were not going to make it through, you can see the parallels to what you are currently going through. More to the point, you can see that you did make it through.

So pick your symbol today! Carry it with you as a reminder of how strong you can be. Then when a challenge comes you can look at it and remember you can do it. Feel free to like/share and comment on this. Show it to anyone you know is facing a challenge so they may have the strength they need.

2 THINGS ESSENTIAL FOR SUCESS IN ANYTHING 

In life, love, business and any other venture there are two things that are essential to possess if you hope to succeed. The only cost associated with them is time and effort. If you have these two things you are all but guaranteed to accomplish what you set out to do. Still most people begin projects,relationships and jobs without one or either of them. Some have a vague not powerful version of them. This leads to ‘treading water’ in situations.

Ok, so what are these two things and how can we all get them? They are a goal and a purpose, sometimes referred to as a ‘why’? Think about playing a game. If you did not know how to win or what outcome you were going after how likely would it be that you would win? How about going on a trip? If you didn’t know where you were headed how would you know if you are going in the right direction? In both circumstances the journey would be far more enjoyable if you knew the end game. 

Now on to the second thing, purpose or the why. Having a goal or an outcome we are going towards is a great start, but what happens when obstacles show up? What separates the people who give up from the people who keep going? It is their why.  To say you want to be rich,  for example, will only keep you motivated so long. Focusing on the freedom the money will give you, or all the sick children/animals you could help. Now that will keep you going. 

Here is the takeaway, next time you find yourself on the way to meet a friend for coffee ask yourself “what do I hope to get out of this meeting?”. Perhaps it is to convey how much you enjoy your friend’s company. Perhaps it is to thank them for being a good friend. Maybe it is just to relax and and enjoy the great conversation your friend supplies. Now ask yourself why this is so important. Perhaps your friend knowing how much they mean to you will strengthen your friendship? Perhaps relaxing and enjoying conversation and coffee will allow you to face the world a little better tomorrow. 

If we know what we want out of our lives we are far more likely to get it.  It will also be easier to see when things need improvement. Imagine how much more successful our jobs, our relationships and our lives would be if we only spent a few moments of contemplation as to what we would like out of them and why that is important to us. Doing these two things will change our lives for the better and do so quickly.