Tag: Goal setting

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE PATIENT

It is the middle of the week. Might even be the middle of the day when you read this. It might be the middle of your life. I bet, if you are any kind of achiever, there are a few things you expected to have done by now that are not complete. Usually, this leads to a feeling of frustration. This feeling seems to grow as does the time since you began work on this goal/project. I get it. I’ve been there myself and still experience this. Especially, when it is something I am excited to achieve and complete.

What can we do to remain patient and, more to the point, sane while we are waiting for this goal to manifest? Also, what does this picture of my hiking path I took the other day have to to do with any of this? The answer is in the first picture. “The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.” This is easy to understand when it comes to growing fruit, but not so easy when it comes to reaching goals.

What can we do if we want the fruit to grow faster? We can make sure it has the right amount of sunlight and water. In other words, make sure it has all the ingredients to help it grow as quickly and as strong as it can. What else could we do? We can remove any rocks or weeds around it. In this case, removing any obstacles that will prevent its growth.

On the other hand, what happens if we try too hard? What happens if we just keep pouring water on the seed? What happens if we put it in the sun too long? It will either flood or dry out in either case it will die.

You may be thinking “that’s great Neil, but I’m not trying to grow a plant!” Whether you are starting your own business, trying to get in shape, or learn a new skill, the answer is the same. Once we begin,or plant the seed, there is only so much we can do. We can work on creating an environment that will make it likely our goal will succeed as soon as possible. Just like watering and making sure our seed has enough sun. If we overdue it, like flooding our seed, it may kill our goal. Think of checking in on other parties that are involved in our goal. Do that once a week or so, it may remind and motivate them. Do it once an hour and you will lose their assistance.

How about removing the rocks and weeds? We can remove obstacles that may prevent our goals. Get all the junk food out of the house if you are trying to eat better. Does this mean you will be skinny tomorrow? Of course not. Does it make it less likely you will fall victim to temptation? Absolutely. Are you more likely to eat junk if you have to get dressed and drive to the store to get it or if you can stay in your pajamas and walk to the fridge?

Just like the tree in this picture, to grow it takes time. Sure, the tree will grow quicker if it has the right amount of sun and water. It will be more likely to grow if all the rocks and weeds are away from the soil. However, it will still take time. Not only does the time it takes a tree to grow vary according to the type of tree,just like it varies depending on what goal you are working on. It also can vary according to the individual tree and the environment it is growing in. Just like the same goal can vary from person to person.

When you find yourself growing impatient, work on both improving the environment and removing obstacles for your goal. When you have done that and your goal has still not manifested, repeat to yourself, “The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.” When you have been eating good and putting in the effort at the gym, but you feel like your getting nowhere, say this to yourself. You never now what it happening with the seed under the soil.

STAY POSITIVE THIS WEEKEND!

A quick reminder of the importance of staying positive as you work hard to realize your goals and dreams.

What will you do this weekend to make sure your attitude stays elevated while putting forth the effort to succeed?

KEEP CRUSHING IT! 💪

The weekend is coming! Certainly, there will be time for some well deserved relaxing. Don’t forget, however, this is a great time to pursue your goals and chase your dreams! While many of us think extra sleep and drinks with friends are the best ways to recharge our batteries, I disagree.

There is nothing like getting one step closer to realizing your dreams to put a fire in your heart and passion in your veins. Whether that is a great workout to get you one step closer to that body you want, or 1000 words to get you closer to writing that book you have been talking about. Getting closer to your end goal builds excitement and certainly recharges the batteries. This weekend take some time to relax, but also use some of this 48 hours to work on your goals and your dreams. They deserve it and so do you!

YOU CAN CHANGE, JUST STAY FOCUSED

There is a thing that Les Brown, one of my favorite speakers, says. When referring to his health journey and his battle with the temptation of sweet potato pie he says this, “I have lost 22 pounds, hundreds of times.” I think a lot of us can relate to that statement. What it means is that he lost the weight and then gained it back. Then he had to refocus and get back at it. Life is like that in many ways. Take getting in shape for example. Another speaker and author I admire a great deal is David Goggins. In his quest to go from 297 pounds to 185 and become a Navy seal he had a lot of training to do. On the first day he decided to run four miles. Being someone who weighs almost 300 pounds and didn’t do much cardio, you can imagine how this went. He ran a quarter of a mile, stopped turned around and walked back home. When he got there he sat on the couch and cried. It is ok to feel sorry for ourselves…for a little while. The next day he tried again with similar results. At this point many people would give up. That would be understandable. He did something different. He changed the plan and not the goal. He said to himself, “Ok, I cannot run. What can I do?” He began to ride a bike. Then he added swimming. Soon he lost some wait and was able to run a mile, then three, then six. Now he is one of the best ultra marathon runners there is.

Whether it is someone like Les Brown, David Goggins or Thomas Edison who went through countless experiments to invent the lightbulb, they all have one thing in common. What is that trait that allowed all of these men to end up a success when life would have had them believe they were destined to fail? The didn’t give up. The stayed focused on the goal. Failure is only permanent if we give up. If we don’t, failure serves as a teacher. It can tell us the way we are going about something isn’t working. That doesn’t mean the goal can’t be reached. All that it means is we have to adjust our plan. Often, even mistakes can be valuable. There is the rather well known story about how post-it notes were developed. The inventor was working on creating an adhesive that would last forever. He obviously failed in that endeavor, but look what it created!

Next time it feels as if you are failing at something in life, remember it might just be the plan that needs changing and not the goal. Look for the lessons in the failure and start again only more well-informed.

A QUICK REMINDER ON YOUR SECRET POWER

THIS IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE POWER OF FOCUS. “WHATEVER THE MIND OF MAN CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE” WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSED ON? DO YOU BELIEVE IT WILL COME TRUE FOR YOU IN TIME?

I SUGGEST THAT WHILE WE WORK ON ACHIEVING ANY WORTHWHILE GOAL, WE ALSO WORK ON INCREASING OUR FOCUS AND BELIEF. BY DOING SO, THE ACHIEVEMENT WILL COME QUICKER AND WITH LESS EFFORT. WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND DOING TO INCREASE FOCUS AND BELIEF? SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

USE THIS WEEK!

THE WEEK BETWEEN CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS IS ONE GENERALY FILLED WITH LOTS OF EXHALING AND RELAXATION. DESERVEDLY SO. THE SHOPPING IS DONE. THE CRAZINESS OF THE HOLIDAYS IS WINDING DOWN. TOWARDS THE END OF THE WEEK, SOME PEOPLE BEGIN TO CONTEMPLATE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. YOU KNOW, THOSE LOFTY GOALS WE ASPIRE TO IN THE COMING YEAR.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS ARE VERY GOOD IN AND OF THEMSELVES. IT IS ALWAYS ADMIRABLE TO THINK OF WAYS IN WHICH WE CAN IMPROVE OURSELVES AND OUR LIVES. THE PROBLEM IS MOST OF US JUST WAIT UNTIL A FEW DAYS BEFORE AND CHOOSE SOME RANDOM OR MAYBE EVEN INTENSE GOAL. WE DON’T SPEND MUCH TIME AND THE PLANNING AND THEN ARE SURPRISED WHEN WE HAVE FAILED ALL OF OUR RESOLUTIONS BY FEBRUARY 1ST, IF NOT BEFORE.

THIS YEAR, LET’S DO IT DIFFERENT. SPEND THIS WEEK THINKING OF THE AREAS WE WISH TO IMPROVE IN THE COMING YEAR. DEVELOP NOT ONLY A PLAN FOR HOW TO DO IT, BUT WHAT TO DO IF WE FEEL OURSELVES AND OUR MOTIVATION SLIPPING. ONE OF THE BEST WAYS IS TO COME UP WITH A STRONG ‘WHY’. THE REASON BEHIND WHAT WE WISH TO ACCOMPLISH. LET US WRITE DOWN BOTH WHAT WE STAND TO GAIN BY ACCOMPLISHING IT AS WELL AS WHAT WE STAND TO LOSE IF WE DON’T.

THE ONE THING YOU SHOULD DO TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

The most common question I am asked anywhere I go from my day job, to book signings, to live events is this, “What is one thing that I can do to improve my life?” In a society where people are used to quick universal solutions, it can be hard to understand that the solutions can be as varied as the individual. That being said, there is one thing that I would recommend to everyone looking to improve their life. It is at once both universal and customizable. This may sound crazy, but let me assure you that it is 100% true. How can the same solution work for both neighbor Bob and me if I am trying to get in shape and he is trying to fix his relationship?

Let us take the example of getting in shape. Although this can work no matter what area of life you are working on, from parenting to going to a job that seems to suck your soul out of you. If you were to ask someone what the best thing to do to get in shape is, you would, no doubt, receive a million different answers. Some people, like my mother, say walking is the best exercise. I have read that a rowing machine uses roughly 87% of your muscles. Throw swimming, bicycling and other such things in the mix and before long your head starts to spin. If I seek the advice of my friends at peak physique, Jodi and Ricky, I may hear weight lifting, cardio or yoga. So who is right in all of this? They all are. What determines success in fitness, as well as self-improvement, is consistency. While it is true that certain activities use more muscles that others, they do not use any unless you do them. Therefore, the great secret to improving your life? Find something you enjoy. Why? Because you are more likely to keep doing it. Maybe you like battle ropes like the people in the picture above? Let me say, for the record, I have never seen anyone smiling while doing battle ropes, especially while being ‘encouraged’ by a trainer as seems to be the case here. While rowing or walking may use more muscle groups, if you do not like those activities, you are less likely to maintain doing them.

What does all of this have to do with the broad topic of self-improvement? Everything! What events are more likely to change your life? I think fostering an attitude of gratitude is number one on the list. How can you do that? The way that works for you. Do you like keeping a gratitude journal? Then do that because you are likely to stick with it long enough to make a difference. How about carrying a little talisman in your pocket to remind you of something you are grateful for? Then do that. The secret is maintaining a behavior long enough to see results. Relying on will power sets you up for limited success at best. The best chance at success in whatever area of life you are trying to improve is to find something you like and start with that. As things improve, which they will, you will find it easier to add things that may be more beneficial, but would have been harder to stick with in the beginning. You gain momentum by doing an activity that you enjoy. You can use that momentum to make sticking to the more difficult activities that might be needed to accomplish your goals. I would love to hear some of your favorite activities that you use to improve different areas of your life.

START THE WEEK OF RIGHT!

It is nearing the end of the year. No need to wait until January to start working on achieving your goals. This week we are going to look at little things you can do that will have a huge impact in your life. For today, realize we can start when we choose and that can be today. To begin the week, get clear as to what you want to achieve. Write it down so it is there and black and white! We will see you tomorrow for more insights.

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!!!!

ARE YOU A LION OR A GAZELLE?

This is one of my favorite quotes. There are many levels in which to explore it. I have looked at a few on this website already. Such as the location of the motivation. In the Gazelle’s case, the motivation comes from the lion. If the lion were not present, the gazelle would probably be watching Netflix, eating grass and chilling. Lion appears and we are off running. In the lion’s case, the motivation comes from within, specifically, his stomach. He does not need the gazelle to be present. His running comes from an internal hunger. If the gazelle was not present, he may be running after a water buffalo or some other African neighbor of his.

Today we are going to look at this in a slightly different way and see how we can put it to use in our own life. Let us first turn our attention to the gazelle. What is its motivation? Fear. It is afraid the lion will kill it and eat it. If it does not run fast enough this fear will catch up to it and destroy it. In this case fear is the motivation to keeping this gazelle alive. Proof that fear can be a good motivator. Now let us look at the lion. Where does its motivation come from? Hunger, the desire of a goal. In this case that goal is the gazelle in front of it. It knows unless it runs fast enough, it will not achieve it’s goal and very well may go hungry. If it does not eventually catch a gazelle it will starve to death and be destroyed. Showing that passion and desire for a goal is a very good motivator. Which one of these is better in our lives?

Do we let our fears follow us around and keep us running? Do we keep our goals in front of us and keep running after them? The answer is a simple one – YES! When it comes to seeking an amazing life, we should use every tool at our disposal! We should take our ‘gazelle motivation’ and think of what may happen if we do not keep running. What will happen, for example, if we don’t keep on top of our health? We may develop a very serious condition. We may subject ourselves to a great deal of pain or discomfort. We may even pass away prematurely and lose valuable time with loved ones. I say find a symbol of that and keep it in front of us. It is like that lion lurking to catch us to busy grazing on a pizza and too out of shape to run away from it. (Come to think about it, this could work for my own fitness) It may even help to print out a vicious picture of a lion and keep it somewhere that would motivate you. Maybe by your gym bag. Think of what might happen if you don’t maintain your discipline. Would it result in pain? Lose of health? Lose of time with your loved ones? Maybe even lose of your life?

Next, let us look at our lion motivation. What does achieving our goals represent? Will failing to achieve our goals have serious repercussions for us? What might they be? How many times can we miss our gazelle and go hungry before we starve to death? Take our relationship for example. If we fail to show our spouse, or more to the point have them feel, that we love them? How many times can this happen before the relationship starves of love? We need to keep chasing our goals and feed them with a successful ‘feeding’. As in the case of a lion, this could be a process that never ends. We may need to keep chasing happiness in a relationship for the rest of the relationship. If we miss to many ‘meals’ that relationship will begin to starve. Print out a picture of your goals and keep them somewhere you will see them. I like next to the bed so we can see them first thing in the morning to motivate us and last thing at night to remind us what we are working towards. If you worry about people knowing your goals, although if they are in your bedroom they should know your goals, then you can even print out a picture of a gazelle. As long as you know the meaning and it has an emotional connection, it will work.

When it comes to our goals and to living an amazing life, just like the lion and gazelle, we must wake up running. It would help to use both our fear of failure (gazelle motivation) as well as our passion and desire (lion motivation) to motivate us to run. Whatever we can do to accomplish this goal, we should take advantage of. What do you do to stay motivated and focused on your goals? Do you use both fear of failure and passion towards achievement?

STICK WITH IT

Who likes to wait for their goals? If I were back to giving seminars, I would not expect very many hands to be raised in regards to this question. Many of us are like this small child in the picture above. We get on that new diet, head to the gym, maybe even go inside and then come home and look in the mirror to see if magically we lost a few pounds on the drive to and from the gym. We have all done something like this, haven’t we? Expected results that were disproportionate to the time we had spent working on them.

I once read a description on the relativity of time that stated “How long 3 minutes is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on. The same is true when you are working on your goals. I know the journey of getting in shape is certainly an example of this. When you begin to eat healthier, it may feel like you haven’t had pizza in the last decade, when really it was just last Thursday. Same thing for working out. You may hear yourself telling your friend that you can’t remember the last time your muscles didn’t hurt. It is then when they help you with a comment like, “What do you expect? It has only been a week since you have been working out .”

It is the middle of the week as we post this. So much can seem overwhelming or that we are even running short on time to accomplish our goals for the week. We must remember to be patient with ourselves. Remain focused on the long-term solution that we are striving for. The principle of compound interest works not only in the world of finances, but in our professional and personal goals as well. Beginning with small steps towards our goals and maintaining and building on them is the formula for success. After 20 years of poor dietary choices, swapping fast food for a healthy lunch may not seem to make the pounds melt off, but doing so for 6 months will make a huge difference. Building on that lunch time improvement to discover additional healthy meals, some you may want to try for dinner, can lead to a healthier lifestyle long-term. Attempting to give up all your burgers and fries and only eat salad and water for every meal, would certainly lead to you giving up and going back to the burgers and fries. Not to mention, it is not very healthy to begin with.

Remember to be patient with yourself as you work towards your goals this week. Consider what small steps you could take, that will be sustainable. This is the secret to success. In a world where we are all looking for the ‘six-minute abs’ solution to all of our problems, remember lasting change is the secret to success. Look for small action steps you can take and maintain over time. Remember that there is a good deal of time between planting and harvesting. A quick note on that. Different plants take different amounts of time until they are ready for harvest. Your beans do not ripen at the same time as your tomatoes. In fact, one tomato plant may bloom before the one right next to it. Although this seems obvious, we may forget this same rule applies to people as well. Just because neighbor Bob got his degree and new Bugatti by the time he was 40, does not mean we are falling behind. It may be that our plans may bloom later. Sure, it may be a little deflating waving to neighbor Bob in his fancy ride from our Ford Escape, but we must be patient with ourselves and keep tending our own garden. Like compound interest in investing, our small actions over time will lead us to look up one day to amazing results!