Tag: Goal

THE BEST MOTIVATION 💪

This gent is Jocko Willink. One of the people I listen to for strategy and tools for improving myself. As a former Navy Seal, he has learned some valuable lessons. His book, Discipline Equals Freedom, is a must read for anyone looking to take charge of their life. He also has some very helpful YouTube videos I would recommend checking out. It was in one of these very videos that I got the idea for today’s post. In the video, Jocko discusses people’s need for constant motivation. Personally, I surround myself with as many motivating tools as I can. From pictures to playlists, I do my best to always have something motivating at arm’s length. It is so easy to slip, that I think we could always use a helping hand.

The point of his video was that he did not like what the words ‘self-improvement’, ‘self-help’ and ‘motivation’ have come to mean. In today’s world, rather than spend time working on themselves, people spend that time looking for a hack, or quick fix that requires very little effort. The time they spent looking for this hack, could have been spent in diligent effort on long-lasting improvement. When he came to the word ‘motivation’ that’s when something clicked. He mentioned that people think this means having someone acting as a cheerleader or standing behind them yelling at them to push forward. That is not at all what it means.

If you take the word ‘motivation’ apart, it means to find, or have, a motive. In other words, knowing your ‘why’. I heard a saying once that the difference between a warrior and a soldier is that a soldier fights because he hates who is front of him, but a warrior fights because he loves who is behind him. When you are reminded why you started your goal in the first place, and what you have to lose if you fail to achieve it, that is the best motivation. When you are working out, if you think of how important it is to be healthy to be around for those you love and who depend on you, it will be a lot easier to do that extra rep.

In addition to that playlist you have in your phone, on top of that speech you listen to in order to get fired up, remember to discover your motive. This will keep you going when all else fails.

DOING THIS RUINS YOUR PRODUCTIVITY 👷‍♂️

When I was growing up, multi-tasking was the ‘in’ thing to do. Sadly, there is nothing that ruins productivity more. Firstly, you can’t truly work on multiple tasks at the same time. Our brains are not wired for that. Even if I had 2 computers going at the same time, I could not write both my books and my blogs at the same time. They would end up coming out in a language that does not even exist. If I were to write a book for 5 minutes, then switch to my blog writing computer and let us throw in running over to my microphone to add an episode to the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. What kind of quality content do you think I would be putting out? It would be garbage. I would be chasing 2, or in this case 3, rabbits and end up catching none.

A far better course of action is to become laser-focused on one activity, finish it and become focused on the next. Do you know how long it takes the brain, on average, to regain focus? The answer is 23 minutes. Now, if we are constantly switching from one task to another we are never fully in focus on any one of them. In the end, this will cost us both time and productivity. Just at the point where we are getting in focus and our brains are adjusting to the task we are working on, we switch gears. This makes little to no sense. Let us look at an even better example.

I like trees, and I hope none are harmed in the reading of this post, but the point should be pretty clear. When we are multi-tasking, we are hitting that tree in a 1000 different places. When we are focusing our efforts and hitting that tree 1000 times in the same spot, we will accomplish our goal in a far quicker time. Think of this next time you want to work on a million projects at the same time.

Let us begin to train our focus to work on one thing at a time. We will not only use our brains to their greatest potential, we will accomplish a lot more and do it in a far shorter amount of time. By developing this habit, we will make the coming year the most productive, and a lot less stressful, year that we have had in a long time.

IT IS NOT BIG ENOUGH! 😳

The title of this post may sound a bit critical. To some men it may sound far worse than that. Fear not. There is a benign but still very important meaning to this. It has to do with one of the most important, and powerful, aspects of self-improvement – goal setting. You hear a lot about the importance of goals from many people in many places. Even the bible says, “Without a vision, the people parish.” A vision, is just another name for a goal. Here is the tricky bit. Most of us set goals based on the person we are. This may sound logical. How could we set goals for a person we are not? What is meant in the photo above, is we have to set goals that will force us to grow and become more than who we are.

One of my main passions is to encourage others to share their stories. EVERYONE has a story that would inspire many if they only shared it. Whether that is to show someone how to improve their lives, or just let them know they are not alone in the struggles they face, every single person can be a hero to many. That includes you. One of the responses that I often hear when putting this forth, is “I can’t write a book/start a YouTube channel/write a blog.” The reasons are varied, but include not having enough time. Not being disciplined enough. Not knowing anything about those activities. These excuses may be valid, but only in regards to who you are now. My friend Kurt recently completed his first book. As we was writing it, he learned and developed many new skills. The person he was when he was done, was not the person who started the project. He had grown and developed a whole new set of skills. His book, Nothing is Everything, is definitely worth a read!

Setting goals can be a scary endeavor. There is the thought of how you might feel if you do not reach the goal. Which is better, to fail or to fail to try? Two very important things to remember. If you work towards your goal and fall short of completing it, you have not failed, you have learned and can attempt it again, only full of more knowledge. I like this next fact. When they interviewed people who were close to the end of their lives, the number one regret was not the goals they didn’t reach. It was not even the mistakes they made. The number one regret was the things they did not try. Let that sink in. Do you want to reach the end of your life and regret all of the things you could have done and who you could have been? If my words were not enough to inspire you, allow me to leave you with this great thought attributed to Dr. Howard Thurman.

YOU ARE NOT TIRED, YOU’RE UNINSPIRED!😴

This past Monday was a bit crazy for me. Margie and I ran our DJ show Sunday night until early Monday morning. My alarm for work went off at 4am. When that happened, I had only had a little over 2 hours of sleep. I put in a 9 hour day at my day job. It was an unusually nice day out, weather wise. On the way home, I spoke with my mother who inquired if I would like to go for a little hike. Deciding to take advantage of the sunshine and good weather while it was here, I agreed. We hiked for 2.3 miles. After that, I knew I had to create some content for this site. (Hearing this may help you understand some of my typos that can be found.) I stopped at the local coffee shop with barely enough strength to open my laptop.

How on earth was I going to be able to create anything worthwhile? That was the million-dollar question. There was an idea I had been looking forward to writing about. Several in this case. As I began to write, the strangest thing began to happen. As I related personal examples of the tools and strategies I was conveying, things began to click. Not just for the post itself, but my writing and my life in general. The more I wrote, the more clarity seemed to come. While it is true I drank a medium coffee, my energy began to climb through the roof! I had promised Margie I would be home in time to joy the amazing Jerk Chicken she had prepared for us, so I closed my laptop and called it a night.

On the way to the car, I think I actually floated. As I drove home, the Michael Franti songs I were listening to also seemed to make more sense. Everything had a sense of clarity I had not had in a great deal of time. I sang along to the music at the top of my lungs. Thankfully for the other motorists, the weather had cooled off by this point and my car windows were closed. I arrived home and felt sorry for the love of my life. I was keyed up! Bouncing around at the prospect of finally knowing how my fourth book was going to come together. I had a lot more confidence on the message I would deliver at my next speaking engagement. Life seemed to all make sense.

I am not advocating sleeping 2 hours, working 9 and then hiking 2.3 miles. When it comes to my life, I would not recommend following my sleeping habits at all. What I cannot recommend strongly enough is to make sure you devote a portion of your life to your goals and dreams. Do not only do it when you find yourself with ‘extra time’. Do not wait until you are well rested. Do not wait until you have a day off, or finally take your vacation. Like the picture above says, do not work 8 hours for a company and then go home and not work on your goals. You will be amazed at the energy working on something that feeds your passion will give you. Plus, who would want to argue with The Rock?

IF YOU WANT DIFFERENT RESULTS….🤔

Today’s post may seem like a no brainer and it really is. If you want your life to change, you will have to make some changes. If you want your life to get better, you are going to have to get better. I believe Jim Rohn said something like that quite often. What are these changes that we must make? More to the point, how can way maintain the discipline to continue to make them even when the motivation to do so has long faded away? The answer to both is to think backwards. What I mean by that is to get crystal clear on the result you are after. This will make both discovering the changes that need to be made as well as sticking to them a lot easier.

Now that I have found the Jim Rohn quote, let us look at a few examples. Let us say the result is that you would like a better body by this time next year. What changes would you have to make? The clearer you are on the specifics of those changes, the better. At the very least, write the result you are seeking on the top of a piece a paper and the changes you are willing to make underneath. This could include engaging in physical activity at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes. This goal is a lot more powerful than “Move more.” How about changing your eating habits? Instead of writing “Eat better”, try not eating after 7pm. Maybe add have 3 servings of vegetables a day.

This works especially well if your life is a total dumpster fire at this point. Changing your focus on what result you would like to see in your life is a great first step in turning it all around. As you are working towards this result, you can ask yourself the thought-provoking question, “Is this action going to take me closer to, or further away from my result?” That may allow you to pause before having one of those free doughnuts in the breakroom, or telling your friend that you can’t make it to the gym. I find it is also helpful to have measurable points along the way. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds by next year, it would help you to break that down by 12 to see how much you should be losing each month. That would be 2.5 pounds a month in this case. If we only think about 30 pounds a year from now, one doughnut may not seem that big of a deal. When we know we have to lose 2.5 pounds in the next 30 days, it becomes a little more of a big deal. Same with skipping the workout.

Pick your result and write it at the top of a piece of paper. Then, list the changes you will need to make in order to reach that result. Be prepared to do what Jim Rohn said – If you want your life to be better, you must get better. If you want your life to change, you must be willing to change.

DON’T BE A DUMB FARMER 👩‍🌾

I want to share a story about a farmer with you. There was a young man who wanted to be a farmer. He thought it would be an easy endeavor. “All you do is plant the seed and the crop comes.” He believed all he would have to do was work one time and he would reap the rewards as long as the crop grew. He bought some seeds and quickly put them in the ground. Then he proceeded to relax in the knowledge that soon the crop would come and he would be rich.

A few days went by and there was no crop to speak of. Concerned the young farmer went out and dug up the seeds to see why they were not growing. The few he found had not even sprouted. He put them back in the ground and began to impatiently wait some more. A few more days; still no plants. He decided the seeds he had got where no good and went back in town to complain to the seed store where he had purchased them. “Those seeds were just fine.” the man behind the counter informed him. “Farmer John bought the same seeds and already has a crop coming in.” Informed he would not get his money back, he decided to start bad-mouthing the store and its owner to everyone in town. Within a few minutes he ran into farmer John. “What kind of soil did you plant those seeds in? Was it properly tilled?” farmer John asked him. The man said he had just placed the seeds in the land behind his house. “Did you at least water and fertilize them?” Farmer John asked. The young farmer looked down as he confessed ignorance to knowing that he was required to do that. “Oh yes. Not to mention you must look out for the weeds and the insects that will come to ruin your crop once it starts growing.” farmer john offered. The young farmer just walked away meekly complaining about the bad seeds he was sold.

This farmer may sound like a complete idiot. Perhaps he should have learned about farming and what was involved before getting started. He should have not have been looking for the easy way out. Before we pass judgement on our young farmer friend, let us make sure we do not have more in common with him that we think. How many of us are looking for an opportunity to take the easy road in life? Whether that is playing the lottery, hitting up the casino or buying into some get rich quick scheme? Maybe we even think starting our own business is the way to riches.

For every budding entrepreneur, there are a million who dive in planting seeds without testing or tilling the soil. That is, they start businesses without knowledge of what is really involved. They do not develop their own self-discipline and work ethic. They do not craft a solid business plan. They do not research markets and set a good foundation. They also are not patient to understand the time it may take to succeed. They are like our young farmer digging up seeds they just planted. They move from one opportunity to another. They also do not take the time to invest in their endeavors. Putting in the effort. They think they can just put in effort one time and it will succeed. This makes no more sense than skipping the watering and fertilizing like our young farmer. What about preparing for those pesky weeds and insects? In every endeavor we embark on, there will be challenges and people who will be obstacles on our path to success. If we are not prepared for that, it will destroy our crop as farmer John warned.

How about you? Are you taking all the steps necessary to be a successful farmer? Are you setting a foundation to make sure your undertaking has the best possibility to succeed, or are you just starting anywhere? Once you have begun, are you willing to put in the work even after you start seeing results? How about those insects and weeds, or negative people and challenges, that will show up? To you have a plan in place to deal with them, or will you let them destroy your crop you have worked so hard on? Be a smart farmer. Be like farmer John.

*Side note – my grandfather’s name was John and he was a farmer as a young man.

MAKE IT A PRIORITY THIS WEEKEND 😊

It is the weekend and we deserve to relax. However, we also deserve to live a life where our dreams are accomplished. One way to make this happen is to realize that what we do is based on what we find important. Perhaps you are thinking that after working all week, you need your rest this weekend. Maybe your weekend is filled with plans with family and friends? Then getting up early could be the answer for reaching your goals. I can hear the responses now. “Get up early?” “On the weekend?” Most people say they are not morning people. If spending an hour a day could help you write that book you have always wanted to do, would you do it? What about starting that new business you dreamed of? If it is important to you, waking up early is not that difficult. If I were to tell you that you could have 5 million dollars if you met me at a coffee shop at 6am, where would you be at 5:59? Why? Because 5 million dollars would change your life.

What works even better is if you do take the weekends off. Schedule your hour first thing in the morning. That way everyone is still sleeping. You can make yourself a nice cup of coffee and focus on your goals. You might think it would not be worth it to wake up a whole hour before you actually have to. Let me give you some numbers. If you work one hour a day on your dreams and goals. If you only do it during the week and take the weekends off, how much time is that? That would be 260 extra hours a year. That is 32 and a half 8 hour days, or over 4 and a half working weeks dedicated to achieving whatever goal you are pursuing. How much further do you think you could get with that extra time?

I usually write for an hour after work as I already wake up at 4am. That still gives me the time we mentioned. In addition to the 55 hours I work at my day job, I have managed to write 2 books in the last year. I have also delivered blogs for the last 330 days straight. All from an hour a day. Try dedicating a focused hour of your day, only 5 days a week to your goals and see what happens. Do this for a month straight and see how much you can accomplish. You will be amazed!

I MADE A DIFFICULT DECISION 😕

For the last several months I have been working on my fourth book, From Ruining Livers to Saving Souls. It chronicles my journey from bartender to self-improvement author and blogger. It contains many amusing and funny personal anecdotes. I was 30,000 words in and had slated a late-spring/early-summer release. Last Saturday, I made a very important and difficult decision – I will not be releasing this book. After reading what I had written, and lots of personal reflection, I decided the content, although quite entertaining, did not fit the message I was trying to convey. The months of work and 30,000 words I had composed would not see the light of day.

This also means there will be no book from yours truly in 2023. This is both deflating and liberating. It will allow me to focus on other endeavors such as this blog and my podcast – Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. It also stresses the importance of investing more thought into the planning process of what the message of the fourth book will be. It is my belief the writing will be stronger and do more good than had I released what I wrote earlier this year. A good book should place the focus on the reader. In my case, not only do I want to entertain them, but serve them as well. I promise that my fourth book will not be released until it accomplishes both.

Giving up on a goal can be a very difficult decision. Starting over can seem so deflating and hard to do. Just like going back to the gym after slipping during the holidays. It does not have to be an end, but can serve as a more powerful beginning. When we start over it is not starting from scratch. It is beginning with more information, even if that is just what doesn’t work, than we had the first time. If there is a goal that you know may not be right for you, it is ok to throw it away and start over. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it may take longer. Most importantly, yes, it will be worth it.

ARE YOU DOING BOTH?🤔

I love this reminder. Words you hear all over social media and in a lot of self-improvement sectors are words like ‘hustle’ and ‘grind’. Sure, working hard is important. It is what allows us to rise above the crowd and become the best version of ourselves. What makes no sense is working so hard that we sacrifice the enjoyment of life. It is true that we have to make choices in regards to our priorities. We might have to skip that shopping trip that sounds fun to make sure what we need to do around the house gets done. It may not be as enjoyable, but we will feel better long term. The key is to find a way to enjoy cleaning the house.

Whatever your goal in life is, make sure to add “enjoy the process” to the list. Not only will you enjoy chasing that goal more, but you will enjoy that part of your life more. After all, isn’t that the goal? To enjoy as much of our life as possible.

ONE SMALL STEP…🚶‍♂️

A lot of us are looking to make a great change in the world. I can appreciate that. It is my own desire to be a best-selling author who positively impacts the lives of millions. In our urgency to create drastic change, we must keep in mind that every journey starts with that first step. We look forward to the end result we are pursuing, but seldom take a hard look at those first steps. Life seldom creates change all at once. The odds I am going to wake up as a best-selling author tomorrow are fairly slim. (Oprah, you know the number. Feel free to call.)

My work as a life coach reminds me often of how to accomplish large goals. In life coaching, we take a look at where someone wants to go first. Let us take the example of wanting to be a best-selling author who positively impacts millions. Good goal. Next, we take a look at where that person is. In this case, a local author working diligently on his fourth book. Then we work backwards to develop a list of smaller goals to bridge the gap from where that person is to where they want to go. When you work backwards like this, you can begin to see the value in the smaller steps you must take.

NEIL PANOSIAN

In the case of me becoming a best-selling author, I need to take some steps to get there. One of the first steps was to write a book. That sounds like an obvious first step. What we need to do is drill down even further. We need to write the first chapter, the first line, the first word. Even before we write anything we need to consolidate our ideas and research and organize them. After we write, we must decide what route to go for publishing. Even after the book is in our hands, we need to discover the best way to get it into everyone else’s hands. If we focused on how to get our book to the masses before we even write it, that would not be very productive.

Whatever goal you are currently chasing, try using the same process we just outlined. Get clear what the goal you are working to accomplish is. Next, discover honestly where you are currently. This is a step many people struggle with. Think of a map. If you have a place you would like to get to, but you do not know where you are, how would you even know what direction to travel in? Next, break down that journey into smaller and smaller steps. The more steps you have, the more likely you are to continue to make progress. Once you begin to make progress, then you gain momentum. That will keep you going. Before long your goal will be in sight. Take that first small step. You never know where it may lead.