Tag: Future

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 🗺

As the workweek winds down, many of us are looking forward to the weekend. The question is, what are you going to be focused on? One of the keys to living a positive and rewarding life is to focus on where you are going. Most of us focus on what is at hand. This is certainly helpful as we need to address what is going on at the moment. A few of us are focused on the past. What trauma we may have undergone or situations we have went through. This has its benefits as it helps us realize why we take the actions we take. How many of us are really focused on where we are going? This helps us to better focus on using the past to our advantage as well as what actions to take in the present. Why? The actions we take today will shape our tomorrow. If we do not think about where we would like to go, how do we know what direction to face and what actions would be the correct ones to take?

I like to think of it like driving. While driving, they advise you to look in your rearview mirror every 8 seconds. That is a good ratio to focus on our past. More often you need to focus on what is going on around you at the moment. This helps us know what actions to take to keep us moving along our journey. Should we turn right now? Will that be the best route to get where we need to go? We also need to look out our windshield 6 out of those 8 seconds (the other one I would suggest to check your speed and gages) This allows us to see what is in the immediate future. Is there a red light coming up? Do we need to begin to slow down? Does the street end? Is there a driver that looks like they may not stop at the red light? How many blocks until that turn?

This whole time we have to have our destination in mind. This will tell us what actions to take in the present. If you do not know where you are going, what is the point of getting in your car and driving? Same with life. If we do not have a destination, it is like getting in our car and taking random left and rights. We will get somewhere, but it will not be a destination of our own choosing. Even if we encounter road construction or a detour, which ca be compared to obstacles in our life, we will make adjustments and still proceed on our way to our destination. If we know where we are going, these may slow us down but they will not stop us.

REMEMBER THIS AS THE WEEK BEGINS 😃

As we begin the week. Let us remember that the future is uncertain. This can seem scary, but it is also a good reminder to focus on the present. In fact, the little influence we have on the future is the actions we take in the present.

As we all want the best future we can have, let us set ourselves up for success by living fully in the present.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ⏰️

This is a great and valuable reminder. All too often in life we spend too much time working on, and focused on the future. I am not saying you should not have plans and goals, but not to find yourself prisoner to them. What on earth does that mean? So glad you asked. Let us say you are trying to write the next best-selling book. (mine is due out in late spring/early summer so stay tuned) If you remain focused on the fact that your book is not finished and how much more you have to do, life will have a very stressful and not so fun feel to it. Instead, do your best to make what you write everyday the best it can be.

If you will permit me to mix my analogies, it is like building a brick wall. If your focus is on how to build the best brick wall it can be overwhelming. If, however, you focus on how to lay the perfect brick each and every time, you will look up one day to find you have built the perfect brick wall. Life is the same way. People are concerned with controlling their future. That is good. The best way to control the future is to make each day the best it can be. If we do that, it is like the brick wall. If we just think about making each day the best it can be, one day we will look up to see we have built the perfect life.

The best part about this way of living is it reduces your stress. If all you focus on is the 24 hours you are given, the burden seems lighter. If you work hard to make each day the best it can be, it often makes tomorrow that much easier. This holds true in your job, your family, your health and nearly every other aspect of your life. Do your best to make today the best it can be. It is your greatest insurance for a better tomorrow.

YOU CANNOT SUFFER

This is a powerful concept that is easier said than done. However, realizing this point may help us a great deal. I know many people, myself included, that can be paralyzed to inaction by memories of the past or worries of the future. Having this quote printed out may do a great deal to help us move forward. Although the past can really cause us a great deal of pain, realizing that it is not the actual event that happened that is causing us pain, but our memory of it, may aid us in understanding how to heal that pain and move forward. After all, we cannot go back in time and change events, but we can work on a change in perspective or thinking moving forward. We may need help of a good friend or therapist to do this, but it can be done.

The same holds true with any worry we have of the future. The best thing we can do is take action to prepare for the future. Beyond that, there is not much we can do. I once heard a saying that said, “Worrying is like riding an exercise bike; you get really tired, but you do not actually go anywhere.” Use any apprehension you may have for future events to motivate you to take action in the present. When you have done all that you can do, relax knowing that you have given it your best and you will take further action as the future reveals itself.

By understanding that it is not actually the past or the future that is causing us pain, but our thinking about it, will allow us to put our effort where it will do the most good – between our own two ears. This is a simple concept, but one that may not always be easy. If we remember to focus on our own thinking, we can work through an issues we may be having. Whether this requires time alone in meditation or the help of a friend or professional, it can be done.

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EVERY END IS A BEGINNING

WHAT A GREAT QUOTE FROM MITCH ALBOM, ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS. AS 2021 DRAWS TO A CLOSE WE ARE ALL EXCITED FOR THE NEW YEAR AND ALL THE POSSIBILITIES IT BRINGS. AS WELL WE SHOULD. NOBODY IS SAYING, “IT IS SO SAD THE OLD YEAR IS ENDING.”

I AM WONDERING, WHY DO WE NOT DO THE SAME IN OTHER AREAS OF OUR LIVES. SURE, SOME ARE FAR MORE DIFFICULT, BUT THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT WE STILL HAVE THE OPTION ON WHERE WE PLACE OUR FOCUS. WE CAN MOURN THE END, OR GET EXCITED FOR WHAT IS NEXT. WE CAN FOCUS ON WHAT WE HAVE LOST, OR WHAT WE COULD POSSIBLY GAIN IN THE FUTURE.

MANY OF YOU WILL SAY THIS STILL DOES NOT CHANGE THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION. IN SOME WAYS, THIS IS CORRECT. IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT SOMETHING ENDED AND SOMETHING IS BEGINNING. WHAT IT DOES CHANGE IS HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT, HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES AND HOW WE FEEL ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL. I WOULD ARGUE IMPROVING OUR FEELINGS ON ALL OF THOSE CATEGORIES WOULD GO A LONG WAY TO IMPROVING THE FACTS OF THE FUTURE.

THIS COMING YEAR, LET US ALL BE MORE RESOLUTE IN FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE POSSIBILITIES OF THE FUTURE, THAN THE NEGATIVE OR LOSS OF THE PAST AND POSSIBLY THE PRESENT.

YOU NEED ALL 3

There are 3 aspects to your life – the past, the present and the future. Each one plays an important role and each one is necessary. We must learn from the past. We must fully appreciate the present. We also must take actions today to positively affect our future. You must guard against putting the accent on one to the fault of the others. We cannot stay stuck in the past, we cannot live in the present with total disregard to how our actions affect the future. We also cannot let fears and concerns of the future paralyze us into inaction. As you can see each one of these times periods plays a role in our lives, but each one must be included.

One area this can serve us greatly is one you may never have thought of – gratitude. When you ask someone if they are grateful or when someone asks you if you are grateful we usually think of being grateful for all of the good that has come into our lives. This is great and there is nothing wrong with it. By focusing on what we have to be grateful for, the good will only expand in our lives. Taking this formula into consideration, it would make sense that the more grateful you are, the more you will have to be grateful for.

An interesting thing about this is the fact we may be ignoring two-thirds of what we can be grateful for. How can this be? By being grateful for all the good things that have come into our life that is focusing on the past. That is one third of what we can be grateful for. It can serve us greatly to find things that our currently in our life to be grateful for. This will not only help us realize that the present is a very wonderful place to be, but it will have us feeling pretty great as well. 

Often, the present is ironically viewed through the negative. For example, are you grateful for the job that pays the bills or do you complain about having to go to work everyday? Trust me, I can understand how hard this can be on any given day. The truth is if you lost your job, had to make it without any income for a while and then were to get that same job back, chances are you would be very grateful. Another example; are you grateful for your relationships only when they are happy or even when they are not exactly going the way you wish they would? Merely having someone in your life to be upset with can be a blessing. It can also be a great learning experience. Being grateful for the present allows us to fully enjoy the wonders of our life as it is today and may wake us up to some great things we have been missing out on.

Lastly, there is the future. Are we grateful for things that are coming to us? According to those in the law of attraction field, it is this very thinking that helps us create our reality. While listening to Michael Beckwith, a great teacher and speaker, he spoke of being able to get to the point of being grateful for the challenges. How does this happen? What on earth would prompt you to think, “I am so grateful some crappy situation is coming my way!”? We must understand that even those are gifts. They will teach us lessons about life and ourselves. They will develop our strength of character and provide us with opportunities to polish our skills in fields like anger management, forgiveness, apologizing and being humble. If this seems like a reach at this point, don’t worry you’ll get there. Start by thinking of all the good things you would like to come your way. Vacations you will experience. Special times with those you love. Maybe meeting that special person you will love.

Make sure you are including the past, the present and the future in your gratitude practice. It will have you feeling on top of the world and manifesting more things your heart desires. 

WHAT DAY IS IT?


Last post we talked about my affection for the stories of Winne-the-Pooh. Today we are going to look at the above quote from this famous literary work of art.

“What day is it?” asked Pooh

“It’s today.” squeaked Piglet

“My favorite day.” said Pooh.
In this quote we are given the gift of great wisdom hidden in what seems to be a silly thought. Today is the best day. In fact, today is the only day. Yesterday has already happened and we cannot change it. If we continue to live in the pain and hurt of yesterday we are doing so at the cost of today. If there is a wrong or hurt that happened yesterday we cannot undo it. The only way to attempt to remedy yesterday is to take action today to undo the wrongs of yesterday.
The same holds true for tomorrow. It has not come yet and will never come. Tomorrow is always in the future. Perhaps you have concerns about future tomorrows? The only thing you can do is act today to help those events in the future. Things such as purchasing life insurance, starting a health regimen, begin a savings account or many other actions that will improve your future. It is the actions we take today that will determine our tomorrows.
Fully enjoying the day we are currently in is the only way in which we can live a truly positive and rewarding life. If we live in the regret of the past we are giving away our peace of today. If we delay our happiness for a future event we are doing the same thing. That is not to say you shouldn’t have things to look forward too, but enjoy the process while you are waiting for them to arrive. Make today your favorite day. Let us all take this great lesson from that friendly bear and his woodland friends.

IT’S WHAT YOU LEAVE BEHIND

With all the talk of the enviroment and recycling there is a lot of talk on what we leave behind.

Ironically, this thought is little transfered into our personal lives. There is so much importance placed on the here and now, in instant gratification that the absence of what effect we will have on the future is understandable. I have even heard people say, “What do I care about how I will affect the future? I’ll be dead.”

I take a view more akin to one of the great leaders of the Sioux nation – Sitting Bull, who said, “Let’s put our minds together and see what kind of life we can make for our children.”

In knowing you have done something to make the world a better place for having been here, I think that goes a great way to fostering an inner peace.

Recently, I entered a city-wide poetry contest. I, by no means, am a poet. I am a self-improvement author specializing in stress reduction. Still I wanted to leave a positive mark on the city for years to come. That was fitting because the winner will have their poem stamped in the sidewalk.

My poem won! Which of course fills me with a great deal of pride. What is more important to me was the content of my poem. In it I explain what makes a city great is not the buildings or streets, but the people that fill them both. If our desire is to live in a great city, one of the most important things we can do is to be the best person we can be.

I urge you all to think of what legacy you wish to leave behind. What will your life bring to future generations?

WHAT IS YOUR STORY?

This blog post created itself last night. After Margie and I had finished our Wednesday night show and found ourselves driving with our friend Kelly. We began sharing defining moments from our childhood that defined who we are today. It caused me to reflect on a few moments that I would like to share with you. More so, it made me think of something far more important that we will get to right after this moment of reflection.

For those of you who may have been reading my writings of late, I have shared the story of my senior year English teacher. On the final day before graduation, she pulled me aside and said in an almost pleading tone, “I pray to God you will never have a career involving writing.” Given the evidence up to that point I would have been inclined to agree with her, but here we are.

Another fun story involved a teacher I had for business. She was a kindly lady. She kind of reminded me of someone’s grandmother from a Norman Rockwell painting. My relationship with this wonderful woman was great. We laughed, smiled and shared many good conversations. I would have said I was the perfect student with one glaring exception. In this class it just so happened I was surrounded by friends of mine. It also happened these were friends that like conversation as much as I did. Daily we shared conversations about life, love and our pursuit of happiness. When the time came out for giving everyone a grade I still recall what this teacher wrote. Written next to my grade was the comment, “Neil will do a lot better in life when he understands you can’t make a living discussing life and its challenges with people.” Once again, here we are. Discussing life and how to positively approach and overcome its challenges. Granted you might be reading this in Greenland, South Africa or Fiji while I am here in West Allis, Wisconsin, but virtually we are engaged in this conversation.

Let me share a more comical example from my youth. Second grade I do believe. I had a good friend who had just moved away and I found myself in trouble for something. That part seems to remain vague. As punishment I was to stand with my back against the wall and watch the other kids enjoying recess and playing on the playground. Sounds a little cruel in hindsight but I guess it served as a lesson – almost. As I was standing there I thought of a joke. One of the kids walked by and I told him my joke. He thought it was so funny he went to bring other kids to hear it. Before recess was over I found myself doing what could be described as a forced stand up comedy routine.

I saved this example for last because it was by far the darkest example. I was part of a group called ‘peer helpers’ in high school. The program was designed to help students who were facing addiction, abuse or any other emotional trauma. To me it sounded like a great idea on the surface. It became apparent very quickly that I disagreed with the approach of the program. It seemed to approach the issues from that of the adults who formed the group and not of the youths facing the challenges. I soon politely left the group. All would have been ok with one exception. I really did have the desire to help and still talked to many of the kids I had met in the program. I tried methods I believed might reach them. This was especially true because most of them had stopped asking for help from the Peer Helpers program.

Again, this would have all been good, but my locker happened to be right across the hallway from the lady who was in charge of the program. Once she noticed that quite a few of the students who left her group were coming up to my locker and asking questions she stormed over. She issued what can only be viewed as a veiled threat. She yelled how dare I think I could help kids better than she could and I better stop what I was doing “or else.” I really wasn’t trying to do anything but help people the best way I thought I could. I continued to do so with a little more discretion. Two days before I was set to graduate I was summoned to the principle’s office. When I arrived the teacher was there along with several police officers. This teacher, this adult, this individual who is supposed to be an example told all of them I had threatened to physically harm her. Not only was that a total lie, but I had no malice towards this woman, merely a difference in philosophy. Luckily, with the support and sworn statements of my character from other instructors I had and her changing her story several times the matter was all but dropped.

What is the point of all of these stories? The point is that anyone of these stories could have had a very negative impact on my life. What made the difference is that I chose what they meant to me. My high school English teacher could have prevented me from ever starting this site which has close to 1000 posts. What she told me could have dissuaded me from ever writing my book A Happy Life for Busy People. My business teacher tried to convince me there was no future in listening to the challenges people face in life and trying to help create solutions, but that is the basis of all I do.

Through my punishment that day in second grade I learned the power of humor to reach people. I also learned that sometimes when the world seems to be taken away from you, the best solution is to make the world come to you. It is a theme that kind of plays throughout the videos on my YouTube channel. It also showed me new and wonderful ways to make friends. The lesson that if you can introduce your material to enough people it can really change your situation didn’t escape me either.

The final dark situation could have steered me in many different directions. I could have decided not to trust authority. Certainly learning that ego can override professionalism and make people act in ways they shouldn’t. I could have decided that it meant if I try to do things on my own in a way I feel will help the most people it will lead to trouble and could land me in jail. Of course it also showed me the value of displaying and acting with the best character and highest standards.

What is your story? What events have transformed your life? Have you let them decide what you can or can’t do? Are they putting limits on your life or are you using them to motivate you? The story of our lives should not be told through the mouths or actions of others. Realize you are not a victim of your past but a victor over it. You have made it to today despite what you have been told and what has happened to you. Do not let your past or those in it steal your power for a strong future. Find the empowerment in every challenge you have faced, or may now be facing.

LOOK TO THE FUTURE 

Yesterday we discussed one way in which people are able to meet and overcome challenges . Today we are going to look at another way. As a bonus this will not only help you not get overwhelmed by your challenges, but also give you some motivation. Sound too good to be true? Let us take a look.

One of the things that became evident when looking at the difference between those who maintain a positive disposition and those who find their mood at the mercy of their circumstances is whether or not they have one thing. This one thing can make the difference on what you feel like when you get up in the morning, how everything that happens to you during the day, be it good or bad, feels. What is this powerful secret that can give you inner strength and motivation?

A COMPELLING FUTURE.

Stop and think about what that means to you. Do you have a compelling future? Of all the people I work with at the Post Office I would say 90% of them do not have a compelling future. When I asked them their plans for the future I received such answers as “I just want to make it to retirement”, “I want to get out of debt for once”, and the ever popular “I just want to make it through today”. With future plans like that it is hard to live an inspired life. If you notice most of them are focused on their challenges. Whether the years they have left to work, the debt they have or even the challenges of the day. They are pushing their way to their future. Think of pushing a boulder up a hill, not even knowing what is at the top of that hill. When I asked these people what happens when they do retire, or get out of debt or even make it home at the end of the day most of them gave me some version of the same answer, “I don’t know. I guess I will figure it out then”. They didn’t even know what completion of their goal would bring them. Not very inspiring to say the least. When you do not have a clear and compelling goal for the future and suddenly you face a challenge it can seem overwhelming.

Now let us look at the other 10%, the group we become part of with a compelling future. When I asked them about their plans for the future I received answers such as “I am saving to buy a ranch to raise horses on when I retire” and “I plan on opening up my own travel agency”. One person even have a different take on the ‘make it through the day’ answer. They said “I’m looking forward to going on a date with my wife tonight”. Notice the difference. These people all had a goal, or ‘prize’ if you will at the top of the hill. Instead of pushing that boulder up a hill not even knowing what they may see when they get there. These people knew clearly what would be there and it pulled and compelled them to keep going. Although what they were doing presently may not have been that enjoyable for most, which included driving around in the snow delivering mail. Those who had a clear goal of why they were doing it were better able to make it through and do so with a more positive disposition.

So what about your future goals? How can we stay inspired and use them to keep going when the going gets tough? I asked the man who was wanting to buy the ranch did he just think of the ranch when needed to be inspired? Obviously he didn’t have all of the funds he needed right now. He told me another little secret. He told me he did little things he could do now. He thought of names for his ranch. He looked at designs for cabins he might like to have there. He even drew maps with the layout of the ranch. He also had decided what part of the country he wanted to locate his ranch. He also began pricing the things he would need fences, lumber etc. I asked him if that became overwhelming and depressing when he added it all up? He told me it actually inspired him to contribute to the savings account he set up for just such a purpose. He also told me it inspired him to work harder and not mind extra hours that he sometimes had to put in, knowing he was getting closer to his ranch.

This would obviously work for the person wanting the travel agency or any other goal you might have. Do the little things you can at the moment. Design a logo, develop a business plan, set up a saving account, do your research and make connections with people who could help. Even the man who was looking forward to his date told me he thought about his wife, how beautiful she was, how much he was looking forward to the meal and the relaxing time they would share. My only caution here is the motivation will only last the day, but that is better that not having any at all.

So feel free to share your compelling future plans as well as the things you do right now to work towards them. As always feel free to share this post as well.