Tag: Friendship

IT’S NOT A JOKE

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Normally my posts don’t contain such colorful language, but in this case it proves a point and hey it’s Monday so why not. I always wondered as a young child why people of different beliefs could not get along. When I asked what I considered a well-informed adult the answer was always the same, “Well they should be able to all get along” there was always that magical word should in there. Still I noticed they didn’t. I still wonder why more people cannot come together and respect each others differences while enjoying what we all have in common.

Despite knowing people all have some of the same desires such as to be loved, to be free from harm, for their voice to be heard, we often have a hard time helping others realize these desires. We also tend to share the same fears. Most of us fear looking foolish, be unloved, or being hurt. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, or what color you are. Inside we are more alike than we are different. Another reason racism of any kind confused me. When I encounter a person who is different than I am, my first thought is one of wonder. How is this person different? How can I learn from them? What do they do to be happy? What have they learned in their life?

So remember to respect our brothers and sisters that are different than us. We can all learn and benefit from each other. Also remember on the inside we are all alike.

IN OUR DARKEST DAYS

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Quite often we find ourselves in a situation we cannot see the good in. Why did this happen? Try as we might we are unable to see the light in the darkness. What to do then? Just accept the fact that life sucks at the moment? If you know anything about me personally I believe feeling what we perceive as negative emotions can be a great learning experience as long as we choose not to live there. So after some head scratching and maybe even a few colorful words what should we do? Take a look around. See what we still have in our lives that haven’t left us. Maybe it is our faith? Maybe it is even our job obligations? Sounds weird, but when we feel on the outside of life looking in, knowing that our job needs and expects us to be there can go from a burden to a blessing.

Here is another great thing to look at. Who is still there. We have all had moments in our lives when things are not going our way. The worst times I can think of is when we don’t live up to our own standard and let those we care about down. Take a look around and see who is still there. They always say you can only see the stars when it is the darkest. Ask yourself, who are the stars in my life? Who shines the brightest when I am at my darkest. be thankful for them. Use the down periods to be grateful for what is left, then focus on reclaiming what you want to be.

WHY FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE BORN TO STAND OUT

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This picture stood out to me for several reasons. Notice the guy in the middle, he is yellow, he is smiling, he has a sign that says “Thank you” he stands out. This picture is true of how it works in the world. When we are grateful we stand out and separate ourselves from the crowd. Think of how that person that always smiles makes you feel. We all know one. If you wish to stand out from the crowd do something different, be happy, be grateful. Then you will be like our friend in the picture here.

I must confess when I first saw this picture and thought of using it as a blog post this is where the idea sat, to stand out from the crowd all we need to do is be happy and be thankful. I even printed out the picture to help remind me of that. I welcome you to print out this blog post and share it with everyone you know. Let us fill the next picture with smiling happy guys saying thank you.

Would you like to know a secret? An additional thought came to me while I was pondering how to word this post. How to put this into an application that can be a win/win for yourself and those around you. Take this to a personal level. If you are a parent, try finding one thing a day to thank your children for, even if they happen to be driving you nuts. Try finding one thing a day to thank your coworkers for, even the one that you would rather be without. every time you speak with a friend, try beginning the conversation with something you are grateful for about them. Most powerfully, try this with your spouse. When, at the end of the day when you are laying down to retire try genuinely thanking them for something they did today. Especially if it has been a trying day. Do this for a few weeks and see how things in your life change. How your relationships deepen. I am just starting it myself and will let you know how it works.

THAT IS NOT FUNNY!! OH WAIT,YES IT IS

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This is something to think about. It is always important to find and have something in your life that can make you laugh. It is even better if you have people in your life that can assist you with this. Life is truly a never-ending source of comedy once you are determined to find it. How hard can that be? Let me share a recent example in my own life with you. Because we are a bartender/dj couple on most nights, my lady and I have to grocery shop at some odd hours. Last night, or should I say at four o’clock this morning we found ourselves picking dish soap and things for dinner for the week. In the middle of all the food some previous shopper had left a toy pig that grunted when you squeezed it. My lovely lady found this quite amusing and proceeded to carry it with us as we shopped finding different noises she could create. It had us laughing as we went through the aisles and even startled a few other shoppers. the point is that is was just a random thing we had found in the grocery store and used it to create a evening of laughter. Now besides the benefits listed above, we also created a great memory to share between us. As mentioned in yesterdays post, it is very important to stock pile fun, loving and silly moments with those you care about in your life, both friends and spouses. So do yourself a favor and pick up that movie that makes you laugh, grab a joke book from the library or whatever else brings a smile to your face. The benefits will amaze you. Not to mention it feels amazing.

CREATE A MASTERMIND GROUP

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This is an idea that was first promoted by Napoleon Hill. If you have not done so, I would strongly suggest reading his book Think and Grow Rich The idea is simple, groups of people is one area where 1+1= far greater than two. When like-minded but different people put their heads together and combine their ideas what is created is something amazing. The gentleman in the picture above, Travis, myself and Shawn all have our unique talents and all can teach and learn from each other. When we get together great ideas are formed and perfected. I strongly suggest you compose an list of skills you would like to gain, as well as personality traits you would like to develop. Now, consider your current group of friends, do any of them have these? If so, maybe you should make a point to spend more time together? If they don’t? Maybe it is time to search out more people and make some more friends. Another great reason to keep your group of friends plentiful and varied.

The real fun begins when you start working on a project together. Add all of your skills together and you come up with a product far superior than you could ever all achieve separately. So build your mastermind group and watch your life and productivity in general soar. Ideally you should keep it between 3-5 people anymore there can be too many conflicting opinions that impede progress. Have a great day and remember the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.

A GOOD ONE

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“Whatever you are, be a good one”

-Abraham Lincoln

Here is a juggler/comedian i saw at this year’s state fair. I am a fan of juggling although I do not have such a skill. Perhaps that may be just why I am such a fan of this skill. It takes a lot of practice and patience. Two things that I do not always excel at.

When you do a blog on positivity and now are a motivational speaker, you are always on the lookout for inspiring ideas. So what great profound idea did I receive from a man juggling in the state fair? Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with juggling. In addition to being very skilled at his profession, here is what separated this man from all the other performers – his charisma. He had mastered self-deprecating humor, to a point where the audience didn’t know whether to applaud or laugh.

What is the point we can get from a funny juggler? It means not only did this person master his skill he also mastered the art of relating to people. Think of whatever your profession you do. Are you doing the best job at it you can? In todays world of fluid job situations it is even more important than ever to be the best you can be. As the quote from the 16th president above says, whatever you are doing, be a good one. That may also mean learning other skills. No matter what profession you are in, people skills are always a great idea to master. In an ever shrinking world, no person is an island. So if you want to learn any skill I would recommend investing some time and effort into improving you ability to relate to others. I strongly recommend picking up a copy of my favorite book How to Win Friends and Influence People.

So remember, whether it is a truck driver, bartender, blog writer, mother, brother or friend. Whatever you are doing today, be a good one

KELLY MEET KELLY

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Time to showcase two more of my amazing friends. Here are two of my good friends. Not only are they both wonderful ladies, they both happened to be named Kelly. They are two people who have brought joy and a fresh perspective into my life. They have some significant differences, but share some great qualities as well.

Kelly B, who is on the left I have known many years. We went to school together. Only in the past few years, however, have I really had the honor of getting to know her well. We both were bartenders at the time and she was throwing a themed party where she worked. Our mutual friend invited me and we began to chat. Through both stopping to see her at her places of work and the wonders of Facebook I discovered she was a stylist. It just so happened at the time I was in need of a haircut and went to her. Over the next few haircuts we learned a lot about each other and she gave me some advice I had shared earlier in this blog. (see Kelly’s words of wisdom May 9th, 2013) Since then she has discovered the love of her life and is the process of celebrating that. Another thing we have in common.

Kelly S, who happens to be the Kelly on the right I have only known about a year. In a short period of time she has brought a lot of laughs into the lives of both myself and my lovely lady Margie. Kelly stopped in at the bar I work on Monday night where I bartend and Margie is the DJ. Not only has she made everyone of our other customers feel at home, she always has a joke and a way to make people laugh. Kelly and I also share books and she has introduced me to several new authors as well as given me feedback on my own book. A final great quality Kelly brings to the table is this, she is always celebrating and cheering on the love I share with the lady in my life. Something that makes us both smile.

Here what I learned from these two ladies. Kelly B has taught me no matter how long you know someone their true treasure and value can only be enjoyed when you take the time to get to know them. Plus, you may have a great friend in your life for years before discovering how wonderful they are. Kelly S has reminded me how important it is to laugh. Showed me ways to make people feel welcome and part of the group. Also gives me someone to celebrate my amazing relationship with.

I am truly blessed to know both of these ladies. If you have a chance to have a friend named Kelly I would suggest you take it.

LISTENING CAN BE YOUR SECRET WEAPON

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Recently my amazing lady outdid herself by throwing me what you can see was one fun surprise birthday party. That by itself is sweet and impressive. In addition to writing this blog to express my sincere gratitude for her doing so, there is another reason. I am sure many of you have had parties thrown for you in your life and if not I sure hope you do. It is a great way to show those in your life that you care. Here is what I feel makes the lady in my life even more impressive. This party was thrown for me at my favorite place, the Wisconsin state fair. It actually happened while the fair was going on. She managed to speak to the owner of my favorite stand there which has a tropical theme with sand and a reggae band and rum. She even managed to get a hold of a lot of my close friends and family as you can see. She managed to go there and decorate without me knowing. This is hard to do because I am there every day. She did all of this without me knowing. Which, both of us working in the bar business is extremely hard to do.

Other than informing you what an amazing lady I have, what does any of this have to do with you? What is the lesson we can take away from all of this and apply to our lives? That is a great question. Here is what really impressed me about my lady and this party. She listened. She knew I loved the fair, which is not a great secret, but she also learned where my favorite place was at the fair. She listened to people I spoke about that I considered friends and made sure they received an invite. She put all of what she learned into action by reserving the both and decorating and even making very delicious cupcakes. All of these things made this a lifetime memory.

So here is my suggestion. If you want to have an amazing life, and if you want to blow your spouse, friends, boss or anyone else in your life away; listen. Not just before the event, but all of the time. That is what my wonderful woman did. She listens whenever I talk. Anyone who knows me can understand that is a lot of listening. By doing so she was able to discern a lot of information and used that to make me feel very special. So listen to everyone you come in contact with. You never know what you can learn and how you can use it to help them or make them feel good.

Once more, thank you Margie my love for an amazing party and a memory that will last a lifetime.

I PROPOSE A TOAST

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While writing my book “A Happy Life for Busy People” i was always on the lookout for little things we could incorporate into our lives with minimal effort that would return a great amount of joy. It is even better if these things can be fun and easy to do. I guess that habit has never left me. Which, unlike other habits I have, may be a blessing. It was while walking by this picture the idea came to me. You see the gentleman in the picture I am standing in front of is proposing a toast of some sort. It is exactly that which I would like to discuss with you today.

Toasts are common place at weddings, graduations and fancy dinner parties. What is a toast? One person who is either designated or the host/hostess of the party raises their glass of usually an alcoholic beverage and says what all in the room are ‘drinking to’. This is usually someone’s good health, good fortune or in terms of a wedding, to the couple who are being joined. What happens next is everyone thinks that thought be it good wishes, gratitude or joy, they all bump glasses and drink. Everyone is usually in good spirits and has taken if but a moment to ponder something worth drinking to.

Here is my thought, why wait for a special occasion? Why does it have to be champagne? What do you think your spouse would do if over your morning cup of coffee you bump your mug into theirs and say here is to our love? Perhaps they may fall over? Look at you and wonder what is exactly in that coffee cup of yours? Either way they will more than likely feel good you are taking a moment to celebrate your love together. Don’t stop at your spouse. How about at work? How do you think things would improve if you raised your coffee/water/rum whatever you can get away with and said “here is to my great coworker!” Again you may be initially greeted with suspicion and random drug testing, but I think a little more joy may be the end result. What if you are on lunch alone? Why let that stop you? Raise your glass and toast to having a great day or whatever you feel at the moment. People may wonder if you are having a conversation with your imaginary friend. Let them wonder while you focus on what you are looking forward to or being grateful for.

These small acts will do more than make others feel good. They will also serve to change your focus. You will be constantly thinking and looking for things to toast to next. Recently I was listening to a audiobook by Michael Beckwith in which he suggests you should ask yourself “What can I celebrate today?”.  After all that is what toasts are, mini celebrations.  Let’s face it in every day there is something to celebrate. Maybe just making it through the day? Here’s to a life of toasts and reasons to have them. I’ll raise my glass and drink to that.

THEN MAKE A NEW ONE!

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A few days ago we discussed the value of old friends. Since then a few of you have told me either your old friends had passed on or even that you did not have any. What to do when that great treasure of life is not available to you? Simply this, when you do not have a treasure it is time to invest. What do I mean? Begin to put together a team of great people that will help you in your journey of life. Napoleon Hill referred to them as a ‘Mastermind group’ regardless of what you call them, start to look for new friends. This becomes more difficult as we grow older, but it need not be. As discussed in yesterday’s post, the opportunity to meet new people is around us every day. Not to mention the more we know and experience, the more people we come in contact with and the more we have to discuss with them.

See the picture above. In addition to my sister, it features good friends of mine that I have met in the last few years of my life. Each one of them brings something to the table to make living life more of a pleasure. They both are teachers and students of mine. We teach and learn from each other’s lives and experiences. They also bring unique and wonderful gifts and talents. The decision to meet, talk and listen to both of these gentleman has brought far more into my life than had I not. To explain fully may take an afternoon, but allow me a brief example.

Starting on the far right is my friend Travis “Treezy” Jones. We met about 4 years ago when he walked into a tavern I was working at. We enjoyed some great conversation and laughs. He returned a few more times and we began to learn that we had a lot in common. We both enjoyed making people feel good and creating a positive atmosphere. Before long he also began to work at the same place. Together without really understanding what we were doing we began to attract people as much for the atmosphere we created as for the drinks being served. Through a falling out with ownership both of us left that place and lost touch. Several months passed and during which time we both developed our life philosophy. He then happened to walk into a new place I was working and explained he had started a “Bring it movement” challenging people to create positive situations wherever they go. We are working together on that and soon he will be creating a website of his own to promote his ideas.

The other gentleman is Bret. I had the good pleasure of being introduced to Bret through the amazing love of my life, Margie. Bret is a man who thinks deeply and shares often. Him and I have had several discussions on life and the people we share it with. I have know him a little over two years and learned a lot in such a little time. Bret also travels quite a bit and interacts with people he encounters along the way. Doing so gives him an unique look and life and how different people may see it differently.

My life would be much different without these two gentleman I have befriended as an adult. Taking risks and getting to know people, especially those different from you can expand your life to levels you would never know by keeping to yourself. Friendship is one of the few places where 1+1 equals far more than 2. Working together you can help build and expand each others lives to a great level. So invest today in some friends you think will bring a lot to your life and that you can bring a lot to theirs. The greatest return on new friendships? They turn out to be old friendships.