EMPOWERING FAREWELLS

Here is a copy of the latest magazine I appear in. You will find my article on page 46 (just swipe left) I would love to hear your feedback as would the magazine.

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FOR EVERY LEVEL, THERE’S ANOTHER DEVIL

I recall a few years ago having a discussion with my friend Travis. At the time we both wondered why it seemed that people who are trying to good end up with some of the worst things happening to them. It is a question that millions have pondered since the beginning of time. Why do bad things happen to good people? While pondering this I was struck with a line of inspiration, as if I was receiving an answer to that very question. It is that very answer I am excited to bring to all of you. This single answer, which Travis and I discussed at length, has changed my life and helped me survive what has been a very rough year. I hope by hearing the answer I was given, it may do the same for you and the ones you share it with. Here is what came to me after years of asking this question –

The devil doesn’t bother with you unless you are a threat

Now I am not telling you what to believe, mere how the answer was conveyed to me. Feel free to call it negative source energy, the universe whatever allows you to digest the point here. For years I looked around and saw some of the hardest working people I know faced with economic challenges. I have seen some of the most enlightened and compassionate people I know faced with illness, sickness, death of loved ones, job loss and every other imaginable obstacle you can think of. To be honest, it frustrated me. Ok,, it actually did more than that, it pissed me off. How unfair was it that all of these people who were trying to make the world a better place by either helping others, or just being a great person themselves face such tough times? Meanwhile, those who seemed not even to value the life they were given, not to mention others seemed to catch breaks? Reading that you can catch a glimpse as to the spirited conversation my friend and I were having.

Let us get back to the answer to this question. Think of politics. The parties usually argue and put down only those they feel stand a chance at costing them the election. Sports teams put the most effort into developing a plan to beat the teams that will prevent them from winning a championship. The same is true when you are trying to make the world a better, more positive and rewarding place, whether that is by directly helping others, or leading by working to be a positive example yourself. Let us think of what the world would be like if we had more kind, compassionate and enlightened leaders in the world. There are certain people who would not be very happy with that.

Sometimes it has to do with profit, sometimes it has to do with jealousy. When people succeed in anything be it financial or even inner peace and joy, it shines a light on the fact others have not succeeded in that same field. Instead of asking or working to find a solution as to how they did it and use their success for inspiration, a lot of people find it easier to tear them down as it somehow helps them feel better about their own position. Sound a bit harsh? Check out the tabloids in the grocery store. Do they ever tell you the story about the soon to be world-famous author who went out and partied and ended up wearing his girlfriends glittery top? No, his life may be no better, or even worse than yours. Achieve any kind of success and people start looking for you to fail.

This is why, when you meet a positive person understand they may have had to overcome some of the greatest struggles you have ever heard of. It is easy to be cynical or negative. It takes no courage, no persistence, no faith. Remember the title of this post, for every level, there is another devil As we make our way through life working to grow and better ourselves we will be faced with an ever increasingly difficult ‘devil’. It is there to test our resolve, to help us grow our resolve. It would be easy to just throw in the towel and resort to being negative. That is the easy way out, and that is what some are just waiting for you to do. The more you wish to do, the more you are going to have to face. It may seem like a sign to give up, but it is actually a sign that you are getting ever closer to your goal. DO NOT GIVE UP

WILL YOU LET IT SURVIVE?

This is one of this quotes I read and immediately had to step back take a breath and say “damn, this is a good one!” (This actually really happened)

Have you ever thought about this? Fear is an inside job. When you are young you are afraid of the dark. This usually passes unless you are some politicians, in which case it becomes being afraid of the light.

Why did this change? Something inside of you decided the dark was not that scary. Sure, you had influences from your parents and others assuring you that there was nothing to worry about, but ultimately you have to make that call.

Does this only hold true for children? Not at all. In fact, as a rule children are better at overcoming their fears than adults. Some of are afraid of dying, some public speaking still others are afraid of not being loved. Others say “when my time comes I’ll be ready. ” Some people can talk to anyone. I have heard people say, “If people don’t love me that is their loss.”

The difference is the meaning and inner conversation people have with themselves. In order for fear to continue to exist, we must continue to feed it. We do so by finding examples that back up our fears (in my case John Wayne Gacy was a clown) or continue to play mental movies in our head of worse case scenarios.

What it boils down to is that without our active participation, our fears simply could not exist.

FEAR OF DEATH

“The fest of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

-Mark Twain

We have a Native American saying I like to use often.  “Hoka Hey” loosely translated it means “Today is a good day to die” Now you may be asking yourself “Why would any day be a good day to die?” Fair enough question. Facts being what they are, we are going to all die sometime. A survey was taken of people who were in their final days here on this planet and do you know what their top five regrets were? They are as follows, in no order in particular:

1. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard

2. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

These are the same regrets that often surface when someone we care for passes away as well. I recall this happening when my grandfather passed away. The following day we were supposed to go to a market he enjoyed. Being a young man I must admit I was dreading ‘wondering around looking at junk all day and never buying anything’ funny thing is as soon as he passed away not only did I feel bad about feeling that way, as the years have gone by I rather miss those trips. So much so I have even begun making trips myself to that very market. There are always questions left unasked, thoughts left not shared, moments left undone. One of the reasons this happens is quite often life gets in the way. I’ll take that vacation with my sister when work is less crazy, or I will buy that special gift for my spouse as soon as I save up a little extra money. Yet moments and lives can be stolen in the blink of an eye. Usually we never know when that may be. That is one of the reasons most people fear death, but this fear can also be turned into motivation. Why would a day be a good day to die? Answering the question we began with, a day where you have told everybody you love how you feel. Where you have used every skill and talent you have to bring the most to this world. When you have given of yourself freely and accepted all in complete gratitude, then it is a good day to die. So live every day as if it may be your last and if you every catch yourself feeling at peace with your life, you may want to emulate Chief Crazy Horse and yell “Hoka Hey!”