We touched on this a little last post. The one thing we must battle to overcome is the desire to quit. It can be so strong. When we face one thing after another that seems to go wrong it can seem impossible to keep going. One thing you must know is that all of us have felt it. Eric Thomas says something that has really helped me and I would like to share it with you. I am paraphrasing, but he says you have already been hurt, why not get a reward for it. I could not agree more. At the very least, give purpose to your pain.
It is a sick twist of irony that the closest we are to accomplishment is after we have made it through the greatest amount of pain and struggle. Sadly, that is also when our urge to quit becomes the greatest. Know that if you quit, it becomes a habit. That is the bad news. Once you start quitting, your resolve begins to decline. The good news is that the opposite is true. Once you persevere, you will and determination become stronger in all fields. If you quit every time you feel the urge to do so, your life will not amount to much. If you get up just one more time and conquer that urge to quit, your life will become the life of your dreams. When you have suffered and it feels like you are staring into the abyss, just remember if you give up then, your pain was for nothing. As Eric Thomas told us earlier, “You are already in pain. Get a reward for it.”
If there is one thing in life you should not give up on, that is yourself and your dreams. Your pain has come to strengthen you, not to defeat you.
Pick any great virtue in life and one thing holds true. It is not a destination but a journey. Want to be courageous? You can’t be brave one time and give yourself the title. You must be brave every day. You also cannot be brave in one area of your life and a coward in the rest. If so, you are not brave my friend.
There is no virtue this holds more true in than that of greatness. You want to be great? Do not focus on accomplishments of great deeds, but focus exclusively on becoming a great person. What is the difference? If you are to be great, you would not strive to be abundant and treat others poorly. You would not focus on acquiring great knowledge to the detriment of your health. You would not even be considered a knowledgeable person, as your lack of knowledge about staying healthy would be evident.
Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret to greatness. Doing a lot of small things well. If you drop trash on the ground, you pick it up because it is your name attached to it. Not because someone may be watching, but because you are watching you. Greatness is doing your best at everything you do. That is becoming great. Greatness is as much a habit as it is anything else. How you do one thing is how you end up doing everything. You cannot act and be poor in one area and expect to be great in another. This may work for a while, but the truth will be revealed.
We do fall to the level of our training. This is especially true when we are under pressure. This is both good and bad news. It is bad news if we can expect to be disciplined in one area of our life and not in any others. We should not strive to be a disciplined _____, but strive to be a disciplined person. If we do work on training our mind and our actions for greatness and to strive to be the best version of ourselves, when we fall back to the level of our training, it will be greatness. Here is one way in which we can accomplish this.
It is here that I must slightly disagree with Mother Teresa. Doing small things with great love is, by our definition here, greatness. Love is a great motivator. How much you love the idea of greatness and becoming a great human being. Thinking about those you love and why you are doing it. In my journey to become a great man, a good deal of that is for the woman I love. She deserves a great man. Every time I am tempted to act in a way that falls below the standards of what I think a great man should be, I think of how much I love her and what she deserves. That love keeps me dedicated to the task of being a great gentleman.
Greatness, my friends, is not a place to be reached. It is a course of action to be pursued every day. It must be done in everything we do. We must remember that greatness is not so much a trait as it is a habit. We must train our minds to operate with a level of greatness. We must set high standards for ourselves. Only by raising our own standards can we hope to grow as individuals. All of this may sound like hard work, and at times it is, but it is attainable. We all have the power to change our habits and act more in according to a way that raises us closer to the level of greatness.
Today is cause for celebration! At the beginning of the year, one of my resolutions was to have a blog everyday for the year. Do you know what today marks? The 365th day in a row I have posted. Some were long and detailed, some were short and sweet. For 365 days, there was a blog posted on this site. I did this for 2 very important reasons. First, you never know when you might need a bit of motivation or inspiration. I felt that I should consider that fact that every day people are facing struggles throughout the globe. We are followed in over 200 different countries. Surely, one of those people, in one of those countries, is having a tough day and could use a little lift.
The second reason I wanted to have a post for a year straight was to show some consistency. If people can see that you are dedicated to providing thoughtful content, they might be a bit more dedicated to reading it. That seemed like a fair trade. By posting everyday, I was also hoping we could continue to expand our secret2anamazinglife family. The more content I shared, and the more often I shared it, the more likely it was to reach people. My mission in life is to help as many people bring positive aspects to their lives as I can before my time here is done. Posting every morning would help accomplish that.
Like Eric Thomas says here, you can catapult a Monday win into a winning week, and then a winning month. That is one of the reasons you should not write off Monday. If you do, you will be setting yourself up for a week that is not winning. We have discussed the importance of consistent effort on this blog many times. You can’t have a week of consistent effort unless you start on Monday! This has transformed my way of thinking of Monday. Instead of an end to the joy of the weekend, it is a beginning of a winning week!
If you noticed in the title of this post, I did add “Kind of” to the celebrating. Why? Even though I have posted a blog for 365 days straight, the goal was to do one for the entire year. That goal was set on January first of this year. We are only a little over halfway for the year being complete. I am going to use this accomplishment to remind myself that posting everyday is possible. For the next 6 months, you will still have a post here every day. I look forward to serving you for the rest of the year. Please share your Monday wins with all of us.
I am all about positive self-talk. I believe we need more of that. The world, and advertisers make a living telling us that we are not good enough. Sometimes, the only person cheering for you, might be you!
What we must remember, is to be honest with ourselves. We need to call ourselves out once in a while. This does not mean putting ourselves down. That is important to note. That being said, we need to stop making excuses for ourselves.
Getting frustrated and fed up with the person in the mirror can be one of the most productive things we can do. When I feel my writing is not going how I would like and I get frustrated, it usually pushes me to do something new and uncomfortable. This often results in some kind of forward progress.
This weekend, ask yourself if there is anything you are making excuses for in your own life? Is it not forgiving someone? Is it talking negatively to yourself? Is it not giving back as much as you should?
Eric Thomas, one of my favorite speakers, compares this to what you would do if a product from a storedid not live up to what it said it would. Would you go back to the store with a receipt and demand a refund? It is time you demand the same from yourself. Hold yourself accountable and make some positive changes. To assist you in that, I’m going to share a link to the video that I just mentioned. It is a 7 minute video. Make sure you watch until the end. I promise you that you will get a great boost of motivation.
I was talking to my good friend Ricky at Station 6, a quaint cocktail and craft beer establishment in West Allis where I live. I enjoy talking to this friend as he always offers a fresh perspective of life and how to look at it.
As I sipped my Allis old fashioned and he enjoyed his Irish coffee he shared with me some of the daunting things he had faced growing up as a young man. We all have had challenges in our childhood, but his was more than most.
What impresses me about Ricky, is his perseverance. Although many people could have used these as an excuse to give up, and it would be understandable, he has overcome. That is not to say he has not struggled with some demons, in fact he is conquering some as you read this, but he is fighting. It reminded me of the quote from Eric Thomas above It is not where you come from,it’s about heart.
Life can feel like a boxing match sometimes. As the character Rocky reminds us, “It ain’t about how hard you can hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit,and keep moving forward…That’s how winning is done.”
Today people determine success by how much one has achieved or obtained. What many of fail to realize is that some of the greatest winners are the ones who have taken the hits and keep moving forward. To me these are the true winners, the true heroes in life.
You may see people who seem the picture of success, but when life punches them in the mouth, they fall like a house of cards. Then again, you may see people who are struggling, or even those who seem like ‘average’ people yet have overcome so much. These are the people who have taken, or in some cases are still taking, the hits from life and keep moving forward.
If this is you, if you have struggled or are continuing to struggle, know that we here at Secret2anamazinglife.com know and salute you as a winner in life. You may not feel like it. You may not have the awards and accolades. In fact, it may feel like you are still fighting. Know this, every day you keep moving forward you are a winner. Keep this in mind when meeting others who are struggling as well. Remind them of it. If you still need a little inspiration, click to watch the short video below.
Those looking to raise their vibration and master the Law of Attraction, or LOA as it is often called, listen to and read many wonderful things. The movie The Secret was one that really caused me to adjust my thinking. I recall as a very young man reading the book The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. This not only allowed me to glimpse the power of my mind to accomplish things in my life, but gave me some practices to do them. Over the years I have listened to several wonderful recordings such as the life-changing The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale. I have discovered such great leaders of thought like Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, and others. As someone looking to master anything, I pursued as many different avenues as I could.
It was the other morning while doing some recreational listening at my day job that another good example of these principles put into action and their success occurred to me. I am a fan of music, almost every kind of music. I advocate having a ‘happy playlist’ on your phone, mp3 player or whatever device you have handy. This is a list composed of songs that just make you feel good. Mine currently has 215 songs. They range in genre from classic jazz, 80’s hard rock, pop, country and the music I am going to discuss today – old school hip-hop.
Growing up, one of my favorite artists in this group included Ice-T. His name was taken from a crime novelist named Iceberg Slim. The song I happened to be listening to at the time was Rhyme Pays, off the album of the same title. Released in July of 1987, it was the first major release of his career. As you can imagine, for someone just getting going fame and fortune were still a ways off. You would never guess it by listening to this track. In it, the hip-hop artist tells about having multiple houses, maids, butlers, private jets and even so many gold chains he has to let the dog wear one. A lot of artists at this time did that. They rapped about the lifestyle they were chasing, in great detail. It is like people who use a vision board today. What happens when you have a song that you have written like this? What happens when you perform this track night after night, repeating these lines of fame and fortune? You end up not only achieving fame and fortune in the music industry, but film and television as well. Currently playing a detective on Law and Order SVU and having a net worth of $60 million, I would say he went on to complete his vision using many of the principles of the Law of Attraction. Whether he knew he was doing that or not is a different matter.
Another trick to succeeding with the Law of Attraction is to raise your vibration. This means improving your self-image to a point you really believe in yourself and the fact you can accomplish anything. If there was something you could always count on in an old-school hip-hop album, it was the individual telling you how great they were. Some of this bordered on arrogance and straight up narcissism. In a world where we are always being told we are too short, too fat and a million other things, a little bragging about yourself might be just what the doctor ordered. One of the great secrets is to believe in yourself so others can as well. You do not have to be a performer in the hip-hop industry to understand that.
One of the people who did this best and with the most class was Will Smith. Whether it was back when he was known as ‘The Fresh Prince’ or after he started going by his given name, the heightened self-image was there. It was done with humor, class and very little if any cursing. What has this African-American man, born in 1968 in Philadelphia Pennsylvania been able to to using humor and a positive self-image along with a love of people? Smith has went on to be nominated for five Golden Globes, two Academy Awards and has won 4 Grammy Awards. Impressive to be sure, but there is more. He has also married the woman he loves, had a family which he adores and has a net worth of an astonishing $350 million dollars. In April of 2007, Newsweek called him “The most powerful actor in Hollywood.” The actor has went on to record numerous motivational videos and help several charity concerns.
My point is that you never know what you can accomplish. There are so many great examples of using the principles of the Law of Attraction that we may not even consider. I am not advocating you run out to purchase a large gold chain and an over-sized boom box, but a little practice in speaking your fantasies, fostering a positive self-image and using humor and a love of people can propel you to heights you may have never dreamed possible. It wouldn’t hurt to listen to some old-school hip-hop as a reminder.
Challenges. We all go through them. Some are small, like leaving your cup of coffee on top of your car as you drive away. Some are big, such as a breakup or losing someone. We have little or no control over most of these. Who would voluntarily give up their dose of caffeine just to decorate the outside of their car?
What we all have in common is the fact that our lives include challenges. Some may appear to have more than others, but if we look closely we discover we all have them. What separates us is how we respond to challenges. How come some of us walk away bitter and some walk away better? This can even happen differently with the same person depending on the situation. I can say that I do not always respond best from challenges and often it takes the help of others to put me on the right track.
What makes the difference? The key here is perspective. As the picture above notes, some people have muscles and some have wounds. It is not a matter of minimalizing your pain or struggle, but putting it to work for you. As Eric Thomas, one of my favorite coaches reminds us, don’t waste your pain. It is bad enough that terrible things happen in life. Let us do our best to make use of them by gaining strength from the struggle we have survived or in some cases are currently going through. Print out this picture or maybe even just write it down for some good motivation!
Every so often I send a celebrity a copy of my book. These are also usually accompanied by a letter explaining who I am and why I am sending them a book. These folks can range from people who have inspired me, professionals whose work I admire and those who I feel personify the kind of life I write about. The list has included Johnny Depp, Bill Bryson, Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, Nikki Sixx and many others.
Out of the countless people I have sent books to, a few have taken the time to send a nice response. Tony Robbins and Nikki Sixx sent emails and Sammy Hagar sent a nice letter. I appreciate these busy artists taking time out of their schedules to not only let me know they got the book, but to thank me as well. I am not famous by any means, but I still have a hard time getting back to everyone in a timely fashion. I suppose having 7 jobs will do that.
Recently, I sent a letter to a gentleman who I think fits all of the categories described in the first paragraph, the musician and actor Huey Lewis. Mr. Lewis is facing some intense personal challenges of his own and I thought it would be fitting to let him know how he and his music have motivated and inspired me. If you have not read my book A Happy Life for Busy People, allow me to share a portion of its content with you. One of the secrets I recommend to help deal with the daily stress we all face is to have a ‘Happy playlist’. This is a group of songs that put you in a positive state of mind. While it may not to anything to help fix the situation you are going through, it will help you show up in a better state to deal with the challenge.
With all of the insanity going on in my life presently, I had not given much thought to the books I had sent out recently. Then I check my P.O. Box and find a handwritten letter from Huey Lewis thanking me for the book and the words I had sent with it. Several things impressed me about this. First, that he took the time to send a reply. Second, he did so in a handwritten fashion. Not an email or form letter, but sat down with a pen and paper. Lastly, that he did all of this while facing his own struggles and while working on an album of new material.
What this shows me is the kind of character this man has. It would be easy to dismiss the work of a relatively unknown author. It would be easy to just send of thank you form letter. Instead this man took time to let me know he appreciated my gesture. I think that speaks volumes. I encourage all of us to include some ‘Huey Lewis and the News’ on our happy playlist. Not just because the music makes it very hard to maintain a bad state, but because it was created by a very thoughtful gentleman.
I have always loved this quote. In fact, I have a copy in my writing room. I always thought the gazelle had the better motivation. After all, if the gazelle doesn’t run fast enough it dies. If the lion doesn’t run fast enough it goes hungry. I suppose enough of those days and it could also die, but at the moment I always figured the gazelle was more motivated. Then something happened to completely change my perception. Has that ever happened to you? Like one minute you view things one way and with a bit of different information it all changes? I was listening to a talk by Eric Thomas, one of my favorite motivators, and he pointed out something I had not thought of. If the gazelle does not see a lion, it does not run. It is quite leisurely eating grass spending the day with its friends. Its motivation relies on outside motivation. The lion, however, has the motivation coming from the inside, his stomach mainly. He will hunt regardless of whether it is a gazelle, water buffalo or some other animal. He does not need outside motivation. His motivation comes from a hunger within. Let me tell you where this train of thought went. One of the areas that I am proudest of in my life is my relationship with the love of my life, Margie. We are far from perfect and don’t always see eye-to-eye, but we are always learning and more importantly, loving. Quite often both of us are told how lucky we are. Although I am truly fortunate and blessed that the powers that be put us in the same place at the same time, there is a lot of hard work involved. In every successful relationship there is. The reward for this is…well…a successful relationship. I realized in my relationship I am successful because I am a lion. Before I lose some of you, let me explain what I mean. In the United States currently over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Looking at some of the couples I see and I am surprised that number is not higher. What happens from the time we get together blissfully in love to wanting to leave each other? More importantly, what do the couples that stay together do differently? They are lions and not gazelles when it comes to their relationships. Most people fall in love for various reasons, but most of them are predicated on the person they fall in love with. There is rarely a thought of what they are looking for and equally as important, what they are looking to avoid. Margie and myself both came from long relationships before we met each other later in life. By this time we were a lot more clear on what we wanted and want we did not enjoy in a relationship. Quick note, she still surprises me by showing me things I did not even know I wanted in a relationship. Then people generally go on autopilot. When loving things happen, they feel loving. When stressful things happen, they feel stress. They are reactionary people. I am not sure how your life works, but in my life there are usually a lot of challenging things. That can leave you feeling stressed more often than loving. Stretch this out of a length of time and it is not so surprising a lot of relationships fail. There are times when we put forth efforts. Birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s day come to mind. Then it is still the outside influence of the calendar that is motivating us. We are still a gazelle that depends on outside motivation to put forth a great deal of effort in our relationship. One of the most comical, yet sad things I witness is when you suddenly see someone become the best romantic partner ever. That is in the presence of another lion. A attractive young lady in a revealing outfit or a muscular gentleman with perfect features approaches your spouse and suddenly you are by there side showing the world, and more importantly that other lion that they are yours. I even heard people who never utter a romantic word become the next Shakespeare or Robert Browning, all but reciting romantic sonnets in the middle of a club, grocery store or wherever this romantic challenge happens. Yes, they are being romantic, but why? It is to defend and retain the romantic affections of there partner. They are still being a gazelle, dependent on that outside influence for motivation. Sure, their romantic overtones are probably greatly appreciated, but it is usually obvious why they were made. I must confess to being guilty of this myself a time or two. In the world of being a DJ, it can be quite apparent that people have little to no respect for another’s relationship. I may have even occasionally attacked another lion, but I digress. What Margie and I do to make our relationship success is we are both lions. Our motivation for being loving and romantic with each other is a burning hunger to love and create the most loving relationship we can. Remember the lion in our first example? The motivation came from an inner hunger. It did not need an outside force for motivation. How can you be a lion in a relationship? Even if someone would come up to Margie when she left the house in the morning and told her she was beautiful, I make sure I have already reminded her of that fact several times. My desire is to be the best romantic partner and friend I can be. My reward for this is a great connection with Margie. My hunger will make sure I am never content with that connection either. While I bask in the joy of our love, there is always an inner hunger to take our love and our relationship to greater heights. I do not need a special day or the influence of some other person to generate a desire to create love in my relationship. It is my hunger to be the best man I can be and to create the best relationship that drives me. In all areas of your life be a lion. channel that inner hunger to hunt down the best relationship, job or whatever else it is you are hunting.
Listening to people who have accomplished what you would like to accomplish is certainly one way of succeeding. It is called mentoring or modeling. Not only do I advocate this as a great idea, but use it myself. Daily, you can find me listening to those I admire. Whether it is while I am working, working out or just relaxing, you can find greats such as Tony Robbins, Eric Thomas, Earl Nightingale and others flowing through my headphones. After years of listening to and reading greats from all walks of life you begin to notice common threads that make up each of their teachings. They may not be presented in exactly the same way, or spoken about using exactly the same words, but the core ideas are basically the same. This is why I suggest listening to many different sources of motivation and inspiration. Something worded in a slightly different way may be exactly what it takes to resonate with you. I listen to a podcast called Metal Motivation which blends heavy metal music and motivation. I also listen to Bishop T.D. Jakes who receives most of his inspiration from the bible. Both have benefited me greatly. Here is an idea that I first heard from Warren Buffett. He asked the question, “If you could have any car you wanted what would you choose?” I am sure cars like those in the picture above may leap into your mind. Before you give your answer, let me tell you the caveat he added to that question. You can have any car you want, but that will be the vehicle you have to have for the rest of your life. I have heard the same analogy used for a house and other things as well. I am not going to get into the importance of selection, because that is up to you. Here is what I am going to ask, once you have that house, vehicle or what ever it is we use as an example, how good would you take care of it? Would you put in the cheapest oil and gas into your car or would you spend a little extra for the good stuff? Would you drive with reckless abandon or would you do your best to avoid an accident? Would you share your one house with people who would party and destroy it or would you only invite those over who would be fun, yet respectful? These seem like simple no brainers, but let me tell you a little secret. You can always buy a new house or car. There are things in life you only get one of. These include your mind, your body and…well…your life. Think about that for a moment. You only have one body, are you treating it with the care it deserves or are you out partying every night? Do you eat to fuel and feed your body or do you just shove anything that tastes good into your mouth? What about your mind? Do you read or watch things that will inspire and motivate you or do you spend countless hours watching reality television? What about your life in general? Do you spend your time more concerned with what others are doing with their one life or are you focused on getting the most joy and love out of your own life? Have you thought about the people you have invited into your life? Are they the party and destroy it kind or those who would value the time you share with them? Do they bring out the best in you or the stress in you? There are a few things in life that we only get one of, are we paying enough attention to them? Take a few moments to realize how you treat your mind, your body and your life. Remember to make the most of them because we will not get another.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 