Tag: enemies

HOW TO USE YOUR ENEMIES ðŸ¤”

We all have them.  People who just seem not to like us for whatever reason. Sometimes these people seem to not like anyone. You hear them when you’re out, or maybe at the office. They are constantly highlighting everyone’s faults. How annoying is that?

You may be thinking that your life would be better without any of these people. The secret to an amazing life, however, is learning to use everything in life to our advantage. This includes negative emotions and situations, as we have discussed in the past. It also includes these negative people. How can we put them to work for us?

Listen to what your haters have to say about you. Often, it is blown up and exaggerated, but there may be a hint of truth in it. They may be pointing out a character flaw that your friends are too polite to mention. Here is another great idea that I often use. If I am trying to start a new habit such as eating healthy, or trying to stop a bad habit such as eating junk food, the first people I’ll tell are my enemies. Why? They will be ones who will watch you at every turn looking for you to mess up. That way they will be working for you by making sure you stick to your new self-improvement goals!

Next time you are tempted to be angered by, or frustrated by, your haters, put them to work! Take an honest look in the mirror and see if their complaints have a ring of truth to them. Even if they don’t, it is a great reminder to speak good of everyone. Also, use them to help you stick to your goals. They will help you improve your life without even knowing!

WHO YOU SHOULD TALK TO

Desmond Tutu has always been a person I admire. Although strong in his faith, he, along with the Dalai Lama, have put differences aside to work together for the greater good. In this single quote I think the reason they do so is summed up rather nicely.

When facing a conflict, the first thing many of us do is run to our friends to vent. Whether that venting is in person, on social media or in some other medium it generally degenerates to gossip and leads to both parties growing further apart on the issue at hand. It also reduces the amount of trust between the two parties. We see examples of this on the world stage between governments. The end result, all too often, results in war. This not only leads to the loss of countless, often innocent, lives, but decades of trust between nations and their people.

This also happens on a personal level. Working as a DJ, and as a bartender for years before that, I have seen this happen far too often. These adults have issues with each other, sometimes legitimate, sometimes petty. Rather than act in a solution oriented manner by approaching the person in a non-confrontational manner to discuss their differences, they begin complaining to others, or worse put things out there on social media. This usually results in name calling, and even others joining in and fueling the anger and hate.

This also happens on an intimate level. At my day job I have overheard men complain about their wives and girlfriends nagging them, or driving them crazy. I have heard ladies complain their husbands are inattentive and ignorant. What happens? The other party usually agrees with them, maybe even adds a story of their own and both parties leave with an even greater angst for their spouse. When they get home a loving resolution is further away then when they left that morning.

Enemies do not always have to be those we are against. As mentioned in the above examples they can be our friends, our coworkers or even those closest to us. No matter how we define those we are in conflict to, it is important to realize the only way to reach a peaceful solution is to confront them in a peaceful manner, while expressing the desire to reach a solution beneficial to all parties.

I am not foolish enough to think that this will be easy, solving conflict generally never is. The reward, if we do pursue this path, will be peace. That peace will not only benefit us, but those around us. We cannot control the actions of the governing bodies of the world, but we can set an example for them and for others by rising above the negative and petty. By doing so we will begin to foster a world full of peace and love.