Tag: encouraging

JUST A LITTLE TO THE LEFT….

Last post we discussed how small actions and habits can have disastrous results. That was a little negative. Although still very true. Today, we are going to look at the opposite. We are going to look at good habits and how, given time, they can transform our life positively.

To do this, let us look at a metaphor that might help put it in perspective. I do not play golf. I’m not sure if you do or not. We can all appreciate the basics. You got a ball and try to get it into a hole several hundred yards away.

At the point of contact, a slight change in the direction you hit the ball, even millimeters, can have a huge impact as to where the ball lands. Think of it. If you change the angle 2 millimeters and follow the ball several hundred yards, it will be in a dramatically different spot.

That’s often how positive actions and habits work in our life. We take one small action. Perhaps it is cutting out drinking our daily Coca-Cola. Nothing much happens right away. We follow that change for several months, or a year, and we discover our pants fit better and we have less inflammation.

Think of these examples when you make a small change. You might have to stick with it a while. After which, it may lead to a huge impact. Just like the millimeter and the golf ball.

IT IS THAT TIME AGAIN

Today starts our state fair. The yearly 11-day celebration of food, fun and agriculture. 30 years ago I sat in the center of this event I enjoy so much and had a revelation. If I enjoyed going to the state fair so much, why not go all 11 days? With the exception of your waistline, there is no harm to be found in doing so.

That was 1996. Fast forward 30 years and I’m still going everyday. It is still something that brings me great joy. When that ceases to be the case, I will stop. There are always different things to do depending on the people you go with. Some like to shop, some like animals, some food, some drinks. My mother and I always do the walks they have to explore art and agriculture.

In life, if there is something that brings you joy, go all out with it. Squeeze every last drop of joy out of it. As long as it does not harm you or others, why not enjoy as much of it as you can. Life is too short not to create memories and have fun. See you at the fair!

AN IRONIC SUGGESTION

When you read this picture many of you may chuckle or laugh out loud. The sad part is that it is true for so many of us. It is not just young people either. There are online senior communities. When I see that, I think to myself how wonderful that is! Still, depending on how their life went up to that point, seniors are just as likely to fall into an online addiction.

Two things become more likely when we spend the majority of our time online. We begin to miss the appreciation of the world around us. This can be noticing new things in your community such as businesses and neighbors. I’ve seen people driving in cars with their heads buried in their phones the entire time. Some of them are even driving!

The second, and even worse, thing to happen is that we give far more importance to what is said, and the opinions of others online. Remember the wonderful online senior communities I mentioned earlier? I also read there was cyber bullying in them! Can you believe that by that age we still haven’t learned how to treat our fellow man? Some people never learn I guess.

Online communities, such as the one we have here, can really offer a lifeline to many. The world can be a dark and cruel  place sometimes. That includes online. Remember to have a healthy social life both online and off. Encouraging others and being on the lookout for when bullying is happening. Use your life for good.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO IMPRESS

This may be an unpopular stance in a social media and ‘like’ driven world, but we really need to work on the relationship we have with ourselves. The world is filled with people who will do just about anything to get out attention. When your focus is on getting attention and approval from others, they become your master.

The paradox of all of this is that when we are most authentically ourselves is when we are most impressive. An original work of art is always more impressive than a copy. You are most valuable when you are being the truest version of you. Why? There cannot be another. You are that original work of art.

People worry, “What if they do not like me for who I really am?” That is a legitimate worry. If you are trying to be something you are not and someone doesn’t like you, at least you can tell yourself, “They never knew the real me. ” If you are brave enough to be the real you and they still do not like you? That hits deeper.

To that we will go back to our art example. Not everyone likes the same art. Does that make it any less of a work of art? No it does not. You might not be someone’s cup of tea, as the saying goes. They might be a coffee drinker and that’s ok. It does not mean you are not an amazing cup of tea.

Before we get lost in analogy, let us answer a very important question. How do we become impressed with ourselves? We do hard things. We keep our word with others and with ourselves. We never stop working to become the best version of ourselves. When we do these things, we will not be hurt if some people don’t like us.

YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOURSELF.

This is a very important point to ponder.  It can be so easy to ride the waves of negative emotions, but that just leads to am ocean of despair and depression. That is not to say you should not validate your emotions. Like the quote above says, “feel your feelings” To that i would add to look for the lessons and what you can learn from them. Then, take a walk outside. You will be greeted with all kinds of beautiful reminders.

A change in mindset is required. The payoff is even with all of the challenges, you will see, and more importantly feel, life is a miracle instead of a job. Walking in nature helps this. You see the beauty in the trees, the birds and other animals we share this planet with. I love seeing elderly couples out waking together. It not only gives you hope of lasting love, but let’s you know it is never too late to fall in love.

Miracles surround us everyday. Granted it can be hard to see them when we find ourselves down and out emotionally. That is when it is the most important to do. One way to accomplish this is to find as many things to be grateful for as you walk. It could be the fact that you can walk. Maybe not as well as you used to, but you still can. How about the fact we now have sidewalks and stop lights? Quite different in the 1800’s. Most parks have rest rooms available. If not, there are usually businesses in near proximity.

The world is full of miracles. Use the power of gratitude to unlock them. When you are feeling down, or even if you are not, take time to walk about, look up and notice them all.

IT IS NOT HOW FAR YOU HAVE TO GO, BUT HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME.

It should surprise nobody that human beings can be fickle creatures. One of the more amusing aspects of humanity is that we often focus on what we lack, or what we have left to do. We often build it up to be far more that it actually is. In a strange twist of irony, we minimize the importance of how much we have accomplished or how far we have come.

It is certainly not helpful to rest on your laurels. Looking back and appreciating them from time to time can certainly be helpful. Knowing that we have made it through some very tough challenges, some of which we may have thought that we never would have made it through, can give us the confidence that we can make it through the challenge we are now facing. David Goggins refers to it as ‘the cookie jar’. Something he reaches for in his mind when facing a tough situation. This is a man who runs 200 miles without stopping in Death Valley in the summer! He knows a thing or two about overcoming challenges.

How about you? What is in your cookie jar? Not the one in the kitchen, but the one in your own head? What accomplishments and overcoming of challenges do you have? It can be helpful to sit down and list them. A little of both. Read over that list on a tough day when you are feeling like you cannot persevere. It will also help ingrain them in your mind so that when a tough challenge pops up unexpectedly you have them front and center. It can give you that boost of confidence you need to live the amazing life you deserve!

THERE ARE ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP

One slightly redeeming quality about tragedy is that it provides us an opportunity to make a difference. A chance to step up and help our fellow human beings. Not only fellow humans, but animals, plants and the earth at large.

Recently, most of us know Jamaica was hit by a devastating hurricane. As I see stories of the aftermath, I am reminded how many different areas can be impacted. It saddens me to think many of these people who do not have much to begin with, have lost even that. At the same time, there are great stories of people and companies stepping up to offer free meals and assistance of all kinds!

This certainly isn’t the only place where people are suffering. The war continues in the Ukraine, there are many countries with human rights and starvation issues. Each one of these present a unique opportunity to help. Make sure you are using a trusted platform to do so. Even if you are unable to do so with your time or money, offering focused thoughts and prayers for people in these affected situations can make a big difference.

Everyday the world presents problems. That means every day we have the opportunity to make a positive difference.

CHANGE OF VIEW

This seems to be a lesson as old as time, but one we keep forgetting. It is this divided world, we must remember the “6” or “9” idea. Both can be right depending on your viewpoint and experiences. Both parties can be right and both parties can be different.

Have you ever ran into this in your own life? I know I have. It can be very difficult to understand that someone with a different, and often contrary, opinion to yours could be correct as well. Try to remember the “6” or “9” principle next time you run into this problem.

DON’T MAKE LIFE ABOUT STUFF.

One of the great strategies I advocate in my second book is writing your own eulogy. It will help you focus on what you want to be remembered for and let you know if you are living a life to be on track for that. If you would like to know more about this exercise and why it could be beneficial to you, feel free to check out my book, Living the Dream, available on Amazon.

With all of the people who have done this exercise, NONE have written anything about material possessions. This is interesting as the group that have done this includes many people, from many different countries with different beliefs and cultures. Still, not a single one wanted their eulogy to include mention of their “stuff”.

The irony in all of this is that we spend our lives in pursuit of pleasure and all of the trappings that go with it. We realize what truly matters in the end, but fail to focus on it. That is part of what makes the human creature a never-ending source of amusement.

Do not make your life all about your stuff. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington who said, “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” All of the time and effort we spend on stuff and we can’t take it with us. Focus on friends, family and creating memories. That’s what really matters.

THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD AREN’T YOURS

How many times have you caught yourself discouraging yourself? Saying things like, “You can’t do it.” Or “It will never work.” Have you ever beat yourself up? I’m sure we all have. Telling ourselves we are stupid, useless or some other less than empowering adjective.

Where do all these voices come from? Yes, the simple answer is ‘from inside or head’. How did they get there in the first place? They are all memories from others who have discouraged us in our past, yet they are still running our lives today! Would you really want that bully from high school or your ex making decisions for you today? How about your parents who grew up with voices of their own?

Think of these as recordings that play on loop in our head. It is time to hit ‘pause’, or better yet, ‘stop’ on these recordings. How do we do that? First catch yourself when you are using this negative self-talk. Then ask yourself, “Where did this thought come from and am I going to let it make decisions for me?” Then tell yourself the opposite. “This could work and I’m going to at least give it a shot.” Or “I might have made a stupid decision, but I sure am not stupid.”

From today forward, make sure the only voice in your head is your own and make sure it is making your life better!