This seems to be a lesson as old as time, but one we keep forgetting. It is this divided world, we must remember the “6” or “9” idea. Both can be right depending on your viewpoint and experiences. Both parties can be right and both parties can be different.
Have you ever ran into this in your own life? I know I have. It can be very difficult to understand that someone with a different, and often contrary, opinion to yours could be correct as well. Try to remember the “6” or “9” principle next time you run into this problem.
One of the great strategies I advocate in my second book is writing your own eulogy. It will help you focus on what you want to be remembered for and let you know if you are living a life to be on track for that. If you would like to know more about this exercise and why it could be beneficial to you, feel free to check out my book, Living the Dream, available on Amazon.
With all of the people who have done this exercise, NONE have written anything about material possessions. This is interesting as the group that have done this includes many people, from many different countries with different beliefs and cultures. Still, not a single one wanted their eulogy to include mention of their “stuff”.
The irony in all of this is that we spend our lives in pursuit of pleasure and all of the trappings that go with it. We realize what truly matters in the end, but fail to focus on it. That is part of what makes the human creature a never-ending source of amusement.
Do not make your life all about your stuff. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington who said, “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” All of the time and effort we spend on stuff and we can’t take it with us. Focus on friends, family and creating memories. That’s what really matters.
If you have read either of my first 2 books, you know the story about the quote that inspired my personal and life transformation. It was “Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”
There does appear to be a lot of darkness in the world these days. What we need is more light. We can all be a part of this solution. There are some great suggestions in the quote above. Be kind to yourself, love others and stay hopeful. It mentions when the path is unclear. I say try to develop an attitude of positive expectation. Even when life is going sideways, if you expect something positive to happen, eventually you will be right!
Remember, you can’t curse the darkness away in life anymore than you can in a darkened room. What do you do when you find yourself in a dark room? You turn on a light! Why should it be any different when you find yourself in a dark world? Be the light today. I would love to hear your suggestions for adding light in the comments below. I’ll leave you with the quote that inspired me.
Oh to be young and invincible again. When I look back at my life and all of the crazy things I have done, I sure do regret a few. What many of you may not know, is the fact that I wrote an autobiography. In recalling a lot of the partying, physical stunts and sleep deprivation, I am beginning to understand some of the problems I have today.
Depending on what age you are when you read this, you are either nodding your head in agreement or thinking it can’t happen to you. Our life can be equated to one of those giant cruise ships that sail in the Caribbean. One day I’m hoping to be on one. They way in which one of those ships and our life is alike is how they change course. You can’t turn one of those ships on a dime. No, it takes time and a good deal of planning.
Our life is like that ship. We can change direction, but to turn it all around takes some time. It works in both the positive and the negative. We saw examples of the negative above. The same is true in the positive. You want a good body? It can start today, but it takes time. We can change the direction of our life today with the decisions we are making. Where will the decisions you are making take you in ten or fifteen years?
The world can sure seem a crazy place these days. It would seem the news coming at us from every direction can be of wars, political division, or some other personal or global tragedy. Even conversations with friends can often include one, or several, of these. That is why it is so appreciated when someone comes into our lives and brings a little magic. These people are what I believe are angels.
Whether you believe in angels in the divine sense, or can just acknowledge that people who bring love and joy to others are a special group, there are angels among us. Every morning I can look across the table and see one. My lovely lady has brought more into my life than I can convey. More importantly, she has prevented a lot of bad things. We will touch more on that in tomorrow’s post. I want to share a story about a lady who blessed not only my mother’s day, but the day of everyone who happened to be with us at the coffee shop that day.
As I mentioned, my mother and I were enjoying time at the local coffee shop we both like. It had been quite some time since we got together due to unforeseen circumstances. We were both looking forward to some great conversation and a little relaxing time with a cup of coffee. As we were enjoying ourselves, in walked one of the workers, Dana. She was not working at the moment. Just came for a beverage herself. What she brought with her changed the day for everyone there. She had brought several roses and proceeded to give them to all of the ladies, workers and customers that were in the coffee shop that day.
When a stranger comes up and hands you a rose for no reason other than to brighten your day, it does just that. Not only did she put smiles on the faces of those who received the flowers, but everyone witnessing this act of selfless kindness. In a mad world, these random acts of kindness are angelic! Everyone left the coffee shop with a little more joy in their heart and a lot more smiles on their face. What prompted this young lady to be so kind? I am not sure, but I can tell you in improved the day for everyone present!
Here is the thing about Dana’s actions – it is something any of us could do. The actions themselves are made special by the fact that not many people have the thought or motivation to do such things. Here is the exciting part. We all can. That’s right! Dana reminded all of us that we can be angels in someone, or anyone’s life. You could bring in treats for your coworkers. You could make a donation to a charity you believe in. You could leave a larger than normal gratuity for a server that you know could use it.
With the holidays coming up, there will be plenty of opportunities to commit random acts of kindness. Something to keep in mind is that this is often the hardest time of the year for many. Your act of kindness may be the greatest gift given to someone. What is stopping us from being angels? A little selfless love for our fellow humans and a few random acts of kindness.
Risk is not always a bad thing. It gives or life that spark. Keeps things interesting. It should be done responsibly. Risking your house on the outcome of a sporting contest you have no control over would not be a good risk to take. Done correctly, risk gives us a lot more than we think.
Far too many of us live in fear of risk. We shy away from any chance of failure. We live what we consider a ‘safe’ life. We never ask that person we really like out. We never apply for that job that we would love. We are alive, but is it a life worth living?
The secret to getting over that fear is in the quote above. “You either win or learn.” You ask that person out and they decline. You can ask them politely why. Maybe there is something you could improve on? Maybe they are shallow and you are better off learning that right away? Apply for the job. If you do not get it, you can learn what you need to set yourself up for success next time.
How many times have you caught yourself discouraging yourself? Saying things like, “You can’t do it.” Or “It will never work.” Have you ever beat yourself up? I’m sure we all have. Telling ourselves we are stupid, useless or some other less than empowering adjective.
Where do all these voices come from? Yes, the simple answer is ‘from inside or head’. How did they get there in the first place? They are all memories from others who have discouraged us in our past, yet they are still running our lives today! Would you really want that bully from high school or your ex making decisions for you today? How about your parents who grew up with voices of their own?
Think of these as recordings that play on loop in our head. It is time to hit ‘pause’, or better yet, ‘stop’ on these recordings. How do we do that? First catch yourself when you are using this negative self-talk. Then ask yourself, “Where did this thought come from and am I going to let it make decisions for me?” Then tell yourself the opposite. “This could work and I’m going to at least give it a shot.” Or “I might have made a stupid decision, but I sure am not stupid.”
From today forward, make sure the only voice in your head is your own and make sure it is making your life better!
In a ‘look at me’ world, people are always working so hard to get noticed. They work endlessly to show you how great they are. What many fail to realize is that our greatest opportunity to stand out is by helping and inspiring others.
Think of who stands out in your own life. It is usually the person who just makes you feel good by being around them. If they leave you feeling better about yourself, why they are indispensable! They are people you want in your life.
Another great thing about being in this category is that there is very little competition. In a world where people are screaming with their words and actions “look how great I am!”, all you have to do is be someone who uses your words and actions to say “look how great you are!” Show everyone what is special about them. Tell them. Remind them. Most importantly, appreciate them for it! Never assume people know their superpowers. Youmight be the first one to tell them!
One secret to an amazing life is to find joy in the small moments. I’ve learned in life, or at the end of your life, they are truly the big moments. Yes, a vacation in the tropics is awesome, but do you know how wonderful sharing a peaceful coffee on the porch with the person you love can be?
The more small moments we can find joy in, the more joyful our life will be. That will make our life more joyful all together. What it will also do, is add joy to those big moments such as that tropical vacation. What are some of your favorite small moments to find joy in?
We have spoken at length about the importance of both consistency and self-discipline. What difference do they really make? Even Aristotle knew that answer almost 2000 years ago. You do not become excellent because of what you do or what you accomplish. That is not to say worthy ideals are not worth pursuing. That is the definition of success. By pursuing these worthy ideals, it is who we become that matters.
Take getting healthy. You do not become healthy by killing one workout, or even several. Healthy is making a point to eat more natural food and less processed. Healthy is making sure to live an active life. This is done through repeated actions. Otherwise known as habits.
Think of habits you have everyday. Are they leading you closer to success or taking you further away? What are some habits you could use that would set you up for success? These do not have to be grand gestures. Even the smallest habits, done over time, create big change.
One thing I’ve noticed is once you get these small habits created and part of your life, you have momentum to start new and greater ones. Unfortunately, the same is true of bad habits. If we have a habit of eating terribly, missing the gym would not be that big of a deal. If we have a habit of finding things to be grateful for, we will always make sure to appreciate those around us. Check your habits and make sure they are serving you.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 