It can be difficult to look back at moments in our life and not cringe. I’m not just talking about some of our fashion choices in high school either. No, there are choices we made, be they actions or words, that change our life. This can often be not for the better.
It can be tempting to look back and have feelings of regret, despair and even a little anger with ourselves. Sure, a giving ourselves a little pain can make sure we do better going forward. Still, I heard Les brown say “If you are mad at yourself for something in your past that you would no longer do, than you’re convicting an innocent person.
Like we discussed last post, if you learn, it is all part of life. Now, about those high school fashion choices…
That sounds like a great life. Never lost, just win. Also sounds a little impossible. Looking at this quote from Nelson Mandela, we can see it is not only possible, it may be easier than we think. Whatever life throws our way, we can use it to our advantage. That’s why I would like to tweak Mr. Mandela’s quote a little bit.
“Lose or win, I will never fail to learn. – Neil Panosian
Did I really just quote myself? Yes. The reason why is simple. This is a mantra I have used, and continue to use to put my life on a never-ending upward trajectory. Whether my life is in a peak or a valley, it is always improving.
How do you accomplish this continuing and never-ending improvement? Through a change in mindset, but even more simply, asking a simple question. That question is “What can I learn from this?” When you learn your life improves. You can learn in celebration. What went well? What skills did I use to create that success?What bad habits might I have avoided that could have sabotaged my success?
We learn a great deal in pain and loss. Feeling the pain of losing a loved one, which can be the most painful, can show us how to better love those we still have in our life. Losing a job sucks, but we can learn how to develop new skills, be resilient and better prepared next time.
One of the most powerful situations to use this in (although I recommend using it all situations in life) and one of the situations with the most dramatic returns is intimate relationships. Think of it. You do something that lights your partner up. What was it? What about that thing you did or said affected them so greatly? You did something to hurt or disappoint your partner? You can learn from that. What not to say or do. What hurts them and what emotions may get triggered.
Bonus learning – try looking at the opposite of situations to gain twice the knowledge. That way you can improve your life twice as fast. The successful times can teach us about failure, just as hurt and pain can teach us what truly brings us joy.Get the most out of each moment in life and you will get the most out of your life in return.
This simple mindset shift transforms life. One feels good. One does not. One makes your life feel good. One does not not. Neither changes events, yet both change your reality. How can reality change if facts do not?
The reality we feel is seldom reality in actuality. Instead, it is a reality as viewed through the lens of our past experiences and our focus. The first we have little control over. The second we have absolute control over. In fact, the only way we can effectively change the past, is by changing the way we view it.
How we do this is simple. Have you had a tragic event in your life? You can view it as the trauma that prevents you from moving forward. Then again, you can view as the reason you developed such resilience. The facts didn’t change, just your response to them and the meaning you assigned them.
In a broader sense, the same applies to life. There are things that appear negative to us. We can choose to view them as so, or we can ask ourselves how we can use them. Can they teach us something? Can they remind us to be grateful for something else? Perhaps, like we mentioned earlier, they can help us be more resilient? The choice is ours. We cannot often change events, but we can change what we decide they mean to us and our reaction to them. More on this next post.
Today is Monday. Many people strongly dislike Mondays. It is the start of the work week and the end of relaxing. For me personally, I DJ Sunday and go to bed about 2am. My alarm goes off for work at 4am. If you are keeping score at home, that leaves 2 hours for sleep.
Here is the interesting thing – there is beauty in a Monday. It is the start of a week of challenges that can leave you a stronger person by weeks end. It is the beginning of a week of opportunity to save towards your retirement. How about developing character by showing up on time and working hard?
It is not only Mondays, but every aspect of life that has beauty. Yes, even the ones we consider negative. I have found beauty in a dental visit. I have found beauty cleaning up a river. There is even beauty to be found at a funeral.
What is the big deal about finding beauty in life? The more beauty you can find around you, the more beautiful life becomes. How about you? Have there been situations where you have been able to find beauty when others could not?
This is a good thought. Every situation does not always serve us in the same way. For example, at my day job I have been working 55 hours a week for the last year. Certainly nice money, but had me burnt out. Now, they hired a coworker for me. It will be a lot less money, but I will be able to focus more on my writing and fitness more.
I could have cursed the fact for the last year I have not been able to spend as much time with Margie as I wanted, or I could have used the extra money to save for our wedding and pay off my car. Conversely, I could lament the fact that I will be earning a lot less or celebrate all the extra time I will be afforded.
Keep this thought in your head. “What is wrong is always available. But so it’s what’s right. ” There is always a sunny side of the street. You can find it when you practice an attitude of gratitude. I always tell people, “If you can’t find something to be grateful for, you aren’t trying very hard. ” Even being able to read these words means you have the gift of vision, access to the internet, and the freedom to view what interests you. We are followed in over 200 countries, but if you live in North Korea, you would not be able to view us.
The above example listed 3 or 4 things you could be grateful for. In any situation there is always something to be grateful for. Sometimes you have to search hard. Most times you do not. So don’t curse the seasons or your situation. Instead, plant and act accordingly. Remember, what is wrong is always available, but so is what’s right.
I wrote extensively about what I referred to as “sunshine-challed” people and their negative effect on your life in my first 2 books. There were also tips on how to avoid, or at the very least limit your exposure to these people. As the world gets even busier, our energy is more important than ever.
Why is energy so important? Without enough energy we certainly cannot get all of the things we wanted to get to in life completed. It gets worse than that. Low energy long enough changes our mentality from one of thriving, to one of survival. The reason this is a big deal is that eliminates our zest for living. Who wants to go through life feeling like it is a job? Not me I say!
The solution is to surround yourself with people who feel like a miracle. Ones who fill your soul with not only energy, but hope and passion. You can never have too many of these people in your life. When you find one, make sure to hang on to them!
How do we make sure that we hang onto people who are Miracles in our life? The answer is simple – look to become a miracle in the lives of others. It really is not as difficult as it sounds. In a world that throws a lot of negativity at us, try being a light. Reminding those we care about why they are amazing and what they have to be grateful for is a miracle in itself. If you do this often, people will start showing up for you in much the same manner!
Do you want to surround yourself with what Bob Marley called ’emotional vampires’ or people who are living miracles? Which one are you going to be?
Sit with this thought a minute. You might very well be the answer to someone else’s prayers. On my YouTube, which will be updated soon, I end each video with the line, “Remember, the light at the end of the tunnel may be you.” It is a line I stole from an Aerosmith song, but I really like the message behind it.
We can get caught up in our own drama so often we forget this wonderful quote from Einstein. When arguably the smartest man to live tells you that we are here to serve others, you might want to pay attention. Don’t get me wrong, it is easy to get lost in our problems. I have found when this happens, the best way out is to help someone else with their problems. It not only provides perspective, but a sense of purpose.
I often share the great reminder that my friend Kaylene gave me to take the focus off of myself and consider how I can help others. It takes a true friend to remind you of that when you are in the middle of a meltdown. Next time you find yourself down and out, remember you might have been given another day because someone else needs you. Work on finding out who that is!
I love things that are simple. This is one of those things. When following any spiritual path, these 2 rules should apply. First, you obviously must begin. Dedication to a spiritual path does not need to involve some fancy ritual. It takes place inside of you. Sure, you could go to a secluded place in the woods to meditate, but that is not necessary. A commitment to a new spiritual path, or recommitmemt to a path, can just as easily happen while riding a city bus on the way to work. Neither one is more powerful than the other. The powercomes from the commitment in your heart.
Second, you must continue. When you truly dedicate yourself to a spiritual way of being, it is not a if/when proposition. You adhere to the principles of your path whether it is sunny or not. It does not matter if you are dealing with another spiritual person, or someone less-informed.You also continue even if that less-informed person is you. We all stumble. Being spiritual does not mean being perfect. It means being committed. Even if you are imperfect
Being truly enlightened means understanding that you will stray from the path and occasionally not live up to your standards. It means both giving yourself a little pain when you do, but also being able to forgive yourself and learn from it.
These 2 rules are very important on any journey. You must begin and you must continue.
This is so true. In a world where people are mistakenly focused on material gain and other outward signs of success, it is important to remember where real change starts. If there is anything you wish to accomplish, you must start by becoming it. That may sound backwards to some of you, so allow me to explain.
Real change happens internally. If you do not change who you are inside, that change will usually not be long-lasting. That is why so many who won the lottery end up broke. They have not changed to someone who is comfortable with having a lot of wealth.
You must work on changing your mentality first. If you want to be fit, you must become a person who likes, and is dedicated to fitness. You want to eat healthy? You must become someone who has a better relationship with food. Someone who understands that you should eat to live and not live to eat. That healthy can be both delicious and fun!
Here is the tricky bit. When you start changing your mentality, you would think everyone would be behind you. Especially, those closest to you. Often, this is not the case. It can be a fear, be that conscious or not, that once you level up you will leave them behind. Sometimes that might have to be the case. When you are working on sobriety, you can’t hang around with addicts anymore. Maybe they just do not possess the drive to improve their lives? A little encouragement and reassurance can go a long way here.
In the end, you might be doing it alone. Quite often, self-improvement is just that – improvement by yourself. Those closest to you might be your most difficult test. Do not stop them from allowing you to bloom!
Quick side note. Be careful not to judge them either. Many people lack either the knowledge or the discipline to improve their lives. Some of the best ways we can help this is to offer encouragement and a positive example of what can be done! It may just be your success that will change their life!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 