Tag: empathetic

FRIENDS FROM ACROSS THE POND

On our most recent trip to Jamaica, the best souvenir that Margie and I brought home was the new connections and friendships that we returned home with. It is one of these I wanted to discuss with you today.

While lounging at the swim-up bar, we overheard a conversation between a lively British couple. The young lady, Bronte, was discussing some heroic acts that her husband Tom had engaged in to allow her to stay sober on an excursion they had embarked on. It ended being a comical affair that involved a shower and a towel as a pillow.

As we engaged in conversation with this wonderful couple, we discovered they were enjoying their honeymoon. In the course of routine conversation we learned enlightening things I would like to share with you.

Bronte informed us she used to be a nurse with a lot of experience in end-of-life care. Inquiring why she no longer was, she shared a story that was both sad and enlightening. Bronte explained that she was an empathetic person and really enjoyed connecting with her patients. Even though she knew their time was short, she wanted them to know someone cared. This made the passing of these people rather hard on her. She told us Tom would routinely pick her up and find her in tears. An example of how important it is to have a supportive spouse.

Despite the difficulties of this, she wanted to stay and bring compassion to her patients even if it cost her some emotional distress. What pushed her over the edge was the medical establishment’s solution. She was routinely told to distance herself from the patients and treat them more as cases and less like people. She watched as others did just that and it broke her heart. Ultimately, she had to make the decision to step away from that profession.

I really thought Bronte would enjoy my third book which chronicles my journey through open-heart surgery and my brief flirtation with death. Sadly, in many ways, I found medical care similar on this side of the pond. There was amazing people I interacted with from nurses to dietitians. They were the exception instead of the rule. After hearing Bronte’s story, I can better understand why.

What this story reminded me of, was Oprah Winfrey. When she began covering news stories she often became emotional hearing of loss and family tragedy. The media solution was the same as the one given to our friend Bronte. That was to view the people as a story and not fellow human beings.

Not only is the lack of empathy in both our medical and media worlds disheartening, but there is something worse. Both of these women were made to feel their empathy and compassion were a character flaw. Something they should work to get rid of. It is fortunate for the world the world that both of these ladies were brave enough not to let that happen.

We know the greatness that Oprah accomplished by not only accepting her empathy, but showcasing it in a way that serves others. I have no doubt that Bronte will reach greatness by sticking to her values and not allowing the world to make her cold. It is my hope that we will change to understand what a gift people who bring compassion and care for others are. If you find one in your life, make sure to thank them for being brave enough to care for others.

WHY I DO WHAT I DO

Early in my writing career, and every so often to this day, I ask myself the ever important question, “Why do I do what I do?” This may seem like an odd question to be asking yourself, but knowing yourself and why you do things is important to developing a strong why. Having a strong why is what will keep you doing what you are called to do long after the urge to do it has passed.

My answer is really twofold. The first part is a spiritual one. I believe this is what the creator has called me to do. I was given a gift to be able to find the light in even the darkest situation. This didn’t happen overnight and on occasion takes longer than on others, but eventually I see the positive in everything. I was also bestowed with other gifts as well. When I was a small child riding the city bus with my mom she quizzed me on vocabulary and now I have a rather large vernacular. In what can be viewed as either a blessing or a curse, I am very empathetic. I feel the pain others go through and as such, have a strong desire to make this world a better place.

On the more secular side of things, I have a very strong desire to share what I learn. Why? Why not just keep that knowledge to myself and use it to create a life I love? I certainly have done the second half of that. I do indeed love the life I live. It is not without its challenges, but I love it. My life is in a constant state of improvement. That in itself is exciting to me. I know that no matter how good or bad of a day I am having, I will learn something in the future that will allow me to reduce my stress and increase me joy even more.

Back to the question at hand, “that’s all great, but why feel compelled to share it with others?” Those of you who know my story will have some idea why. My life as a writer and seeker of light began in the darkest of situations. My job was being downsized, my health was in serious trouble and my relationship was in the dumpster. It was out of this despair that a determination to learn how to transform the life I was living to a life I would be loving was born.

As I began to learn and apply things my life began to transform. I noticed the people that were in my life had a lot of the same struggles I had faced. Wanting to see everyone experiencing the joy I was, I began to share everything I was learning. In return, some amazing things happened. First, people shared with me things they had learned and we compounded our knowledge. My friends Amelia and Sharon come to mind. Second, I found myself surrounded by people who were not only grateful, but becoming more joyful and positive, just like I was. This was not only more pleasant to be around, but helped make my journey that much easier and more enjoyable as well. Truly proof you receive that which you give away.

These are the main reasons I do what it is that I do. It is also reasons that all of you should do what it is you have been called to do as well. When we share our gifts and knowledge with each other, we not only brighten each other’s lives, but begin to create a shift in the world at large. We create a ripple effect and the gift and knowledge we share can touch the hearts and lives more people than we will ever know. I can’t think of a stronger why to share the gift of you with the world.