This should be everyone’s goal. We all have those people in our social media circle we think would be amazing friends, and once we get them we discover they are a dark cloud to every bit of sunshine. Then we face the daunting task of not only avoiding being sucked into their tar pit of negativity, but how we can skillfully remove them from our associationwith the minimal amount of drama.
A better course of action would be to work on our own positivity. “But Neil, it is they who are negative.” I can hear many of you saying. That very well might be true, but are you radiating positivity at your maximum amount? Do you fall victim to lowering yourself to arguing with those sunshine-challenged souls? If you do, you have already lost.
Just like the quote above says, arguing in and of itself, is negative. Therefore, if you are engaged in it, you are sacrificingyour positivity. Instead, shine so bright and refuse to engage in their banter. It will not only frustrate them, which is a nice added bonus, it will also make them search for an easier target to commiserate with. We have all heard the saying “Misery loves company.” Well, if you refuse to be company, Misery will not love you so much.
The more positive your disposition, the more likely you are to attract like-minded people. Can you think of examples of this in your own life?
It’s Sunday and we all want to relax. You deserve that! Worked hard all week. Many of us watch plop down and binge watch our favorite program. There is nothing wrong with watching a little television now and then. What is scary is the amount of time given to electronic devices in our day. Even more scary is what we give up to spend this time!
Watching the game on the weekend after a hard workweek is nothing to be ashamed of. Even having a show you look forward to watching can give us a little reward to motivate us during the day. What we must balance is the important and meaningful things in life as well.
If we routinely spend 2,3 or even more hours a day watching other people’s drama on an electric screen, what is going on in our own lives? Are we giving up time to bond with the kids? Are we neglecting our physical and mental health? Maybe it is time to swap one of those hours watching Netflix, or our cell phones, for some time in the gym or time in reflection or meditation.
It can be fun fun to have a show you watch with your partner. It is even better if you can spend equal amount of time on activities that improve your health, your relationship or allow you to grow even closer.
Life is about balance. There is nothing wrong with a little mindless entertainment. Just make sure we are spending the same, if not more time on things that will improve our lives and our relationships with others. The slang term for the television is “the idiot box” let us make sure we do not become one of the people addicted to it.
Here is a topic that I seem to be discussing with just about everybody lately. From those here online, to those at my seminars, book signings, DJ shows and even friends and family. That is cell phones and social media – are they good or bad? The general consensus is that they are destroying the fabric of human communications and personal relation. To a point, that may be true. Look at any line you see, whether that is for a bathroom, the grocery store or the coffee shop and it will look a lot like the picture above. Everyone with their face buried in their phones. We are becoming a world that lives in distraction.
What are all of these people looking at? It could be assumed a great percentage would be viewing some sort of social media site. This could range from Facebook, Twitter (now known as ‘X’), Tik Tok, or many others. When people start to venture into the world of self-improvement, one of the first things they do, or at least share with me, is that they have given up social media. If the reason to do so is that you have become too addicted to that and are trying to live more in the moment, than good on you. That, however, is not the reason most people give for making this change. When I ask them why they gave up their social media, they tell me the same thing, “It is just too negative.” I certainly advocate eliminating or at the very least, limiting our exposure to negative influences.
Here are two uncomfortable truths about social media. This was brought to my attention by one of my friends on LinkedIn. First of all, they are nothing but tools. Tools for connection. Tools for promotion, if you are in business. Tools for entertainment. She mentioned that people were complaining about TikTok specifically. How all they saw were videos of people lip-syncing to songs. I have heard this said about many different social media sights. People say all they see on Facebook are people yelling about politics or whatever social issue they feel like discussing. I couldn’t agree more that this happens a lot. Here is the interesting thing. If you want to promote anything online, you are aware there is an algorithm that they use to bring your material in front of others. What is that? You see more of what you react too. Let that sink in for a second.
Here is the second uncomfortable truth, along with an easy and fun solution to turn social media into a tool to work for you, instead of against you, if you so choose. Here is the truth. Who controls what you see on social media? Before you go back to the algorithm, and blame it on Elon Musk, Meta or some great unknown person behind the curtain, let me give you the answer. It is you. Whatever you subscribe to and react with, you will see more of. If you want social media to be a more positive experience, make it happen!
How do you do this? Much like many of the other areas of improvement, use the principle of addition instead of subtraction. What does that mean? Put these algorithms to use for you. Begin to subscribe to pages and people who bring you joy or inspire you. This will accomplish two amazing things at the same time. First, it will obviously add positive content to your social media. Second, by doing so, it will naturally dilute the negative content. The more space is taken up by positive, inspirational and motivational material, the less space is left for negative, soul-sucking content.
We are still going to run into some negative comments, posts and such. What are we to do then? Above are a few suggestions. If you find yourself feeling emotionally drained or upset by what you are seeing online, my first suggestion would be to step away. Go for a walk in nature. Get a cup of coffee with a friend. Watch a funny movie. Then, next time you are online, make sure to add at least one more positive influence to your sphere of social media influence. The last suggestion is one I really like as well. If you see a lot of negative comments, begin leaving positive ones. A good rule of thumb, for every negative comment you see, leave two positive ones. It doesn’t even have to be on the same post. Just go around leaving a little positive and encouraging feedback here and there. You will not only be helping yourself deal with the negativity, you will be making the internet a little more positive for the rest of us.
Remember, social media and cell phones are merely tools. They can be used for good or for bad. During the pandemic, it was social media that allowed us to stay connected. Being able to pick up a phone and call a loved one we missed seeing. Maybe even a Facetime or video call. As with everything in life, we are the ones in charge of how much we use these items, and how we use them. It is also our responsibility to make sure they do not prevent us from eliminating personal contact as well. Let us make the tools work for us, instead of the other way around.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 