One area of our lives that has a great deal in deciding whether or not our lives are amazing is our relationships with others. This can be friends, family, coworkers or even strangers that we meet on the street. The relationship that has the most power to control our emotional well-being is that of our romantic relationships. So this week we are going to take a look at some inspiring quotes about love, of which there are plenty. Why are there so many quotes about the subject? The answer is rather obvious. There is nothing to keep a smile on our face and a song in our heart than new-found love. Of course nothing can bring us down quicker or sour our whole outlook on life than a disagreement with the one we love. Maybe you find yourself saying “My relationship is great I guess there is no point in me reading any of these posts”. Let me tell you a secret. In life everything is in one of two states, it is either growing or dying. If your relationship is not constantly improving it is slowly slipping away whether you realize it or not. I have had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing this first hand. A relationship I had been in for quite a while had slowly turned into more of a friendship and roommate situation. By the time I realized how bad it had become all my efforts and study of successful relationships were not enough to save it. I am thankful we are still friends, but even more so I am thankful for the important lessons it has taught me going forward and for my next relationship.
Like many of us when I saw a part of my life going down the drain I panicked. Out of that panic came something great, however. I threw myself into studying every method on how to save and create a loving relationship. Everything from Tony Robbins, to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus programs. While it was too late to save the relationship I was in I managed to pull some terrific bits of information that can help any relationship no matter what state it is in. If your situation is on ‘life support’ you have no time to lose. Start following these tips right away. If your relationship is doing well, it is time to take it to another level. Experience the love fairy tales are made of. If your somewhere in between it is time to add some love and joy to your relationship with your romantic partner.
A special word to my male readers. This will not be all about flowers and chocolates, although those two items seldom go unappreciated. It is also not all about turning you into a man who spends all day reading romance novels and watching a chic flicks. These tips will actually make you more of a man by increasing the love and commitment you have from the lady in your life. So let us all look forward to the journey ahead. For the ‘secret to an amazing life’ must certainly include an amazing love life as well!
“Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing”
So we featured a quote from this famous physicist in yesterday’s post, but this one was a little hard to pass up. What does this exactly mean to living a rewarding life? Let us look at some of the most expensive things we spend money on and in essence what we get out of them. One of things a lot of money people spend money on are status symbols. Fancy cars, giant yachts, expensive jewelry, trips to the spa and other such items to pamper and spoil us. Why do we do these things? Well we do them for all the same reason. At first it may seem hard to believe that we will buy a sports car for the same reason we get a massage but it is true. We buy them all just to have a feeling. Whether it is one of accomplishment, importance or peace of mind they are all just feelings. Now I am a big fan of symbols and what they can bring to our lives. So I am not saying that you should not reward yourself or have things that make you feel good. By all means, use those things to motivate yourself. The important part is to understand the feelings that you are chasing with those objects. If owning that fancy car you have always dreamed of will make you feel like you have truly accomplished something in your life that by that car. Notice though that feeling doesn’t strike when you turn the keys for the first time or even when you sign the title. No the feeling usually comes over you on the way to the dealership when you know the car is yours and that you are now the proud owner of a feeling of accomplishment as well as a pretty hot ride. Notice you cannot have the car without first having the feeling. So I say while chasing the dream of the car, the new house, the unicorn whatever it is you are chasing chase that feeling as well. After all it is not the object that is why you have accomplished something. A lottery winner could buy ten of them and all they have accomplished was buying the right ticket. No, practice celebrating the feeling daily when you can. If you celebrate your small accomplishments soon they will lead to even greater ones and before you know it you will be picking me up in your new car to celebrate!
On December 13th a dream of mine became reality. My first book “A Happy Life for Busy People” was officially released. There was lots of things I learned along this long journey to bring this book to life. One, is that you must never lose focus on your goal and dreams. This was given a dramatic boost by a friend of mine who created a great pendant with the word ‘focus’ and a compass on it which I keep by my computer and it reminds me daily that I must keep my mind, thoughts and efforts on what is going to push me forward. Speaking of that person I have also learned how valuable the people around you are. Friends whose words planted the seeds of that would eventually grow into this blog and then to the book. There have been numerous people to give me feedback and encouragement when I was filled with doubt. As the book came out the support and well wishes filled me with gratitude almost to the point of being overwhelming. So I stress again, pay attention who you include in your life. When important and trying times arise they may be the lifeline you need. When you are about to give up on your dreams these people can push you to believe in yourself even when you may not.
What became apparent in my reflection of this whole journey is how important those words are. That brings two important points to light here. One, thank you cannot fully describe my feelings towards all of those people, and two, how important my encouragement may be for others. I have lots of friends chasing dreams of their own. My friend Cari has written a book that I am sure will change lots of people’s lives. My sister is about to graduate from school and begin a whole new career. How much we may underestimate the power of some simple encouragement from someone around us. So I encourage you to do two very important things as this year draws to a close. One, take a close look at those people who you surround yourself with the most in your life. Are they motivating? To they give you energy or drain your energy? Whom should you spend more time with? Remember it is easier to increase positive than to subtract negative. By adding more positive people to your life, the negative ones will begin to drift away. The second thing I think we could all benefit by doing is searching for places where we can add support to someone else’s dreams. Is there words of encouragement you could offer someone? Maybe something we could do to help their dreams along? The people who have helped me to get my book in the hands of as many people as possible thus changing their lives for the better have been amazing. Therefore as the year ends and a new one begins, part of my new years resolutions will be to help and to serve in whatever capacity I can to bring the dreams of others to light. Look at your own life, do you have friends or family members, maybe even coworkers or strangers who are pushing toward achieving a goal? Lend them a hand or at least an encouraging word. It could not only help them, but in doing so could help them change the world for the better!
“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”
James Allen from the book As Man Thinketh
Raise your hand if you have heard the acorn and the oak analogy before. Ok, now put it down as reading your computer with one hand in the air looks rather silly. Stop and think of this; if an acorn stands in your way how hard is it to move? You can pick it up and give it a toss or even just kick it away with your shoe. Same with the egg. you could easily crush the fragile shell. Now what if that hatched to a powerful eagle? The force is a lot more intimidating. This is why we must pay attention to our dreams, or more accurately our mental focus. If it tends to fall on the negative side, which as I recently discovered can be far easier to do than I remembered, we must address these thoughts while they are still an acorn, while they are still an egg. For if we continue to feed our negative focus with worry, fear, anger and other such emotions they become the oak. A far more difficult opponent. Conversely we must also closely watch our dreams. When they are in their infancy they are like the acorn, like the egg. Easily crushed by the opinions of others. We must feed them with positive thoughts. Feelings of expectancy. We must surround ourselves with others who support us and our dreams. Then as the acorn becomes the oak, our dreams become immune to the negative thoughts of others…and more importantly our own doubts. Quite often we can crush our own dreams when there are in the fragile acorn/egg stage. So just remember to keep yourself focused on the thoughts and pictures we keep in our mind daily. Destroy doubt and fear as soon as they are recognized and feed dreams as often as you can.
“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your Ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil”
James Allen from the book As Man Thinketh
Here we see the importance of why we must stay focused on our dreams. We must be careful what mental movie we play in our mind. The first and most important step is to know and understand what our dream is. Many times I ask people what their dream is and get surprising answers such as “Just to make it through the day” “To be able to never work again” or even just “I don’t know” If your goal is as simple as to make it through the day and you meet your goal how excited can you honestly be? Setting goals and dreams that are not that lofty or hard to reach provide us with an easy target to hit, but how much of a sense of accomplishment can you feel? Not to mention if your goal is just to make it through the day, you will be ever pressed to repeat this goal for little or no feeling of joy. Now on the flip side if your goal is to never work again. This may sound pretty good especially if your job does not inspire you or you have had a particularly uninspiring day there. If your legacy is to be the person who just sat and took up space because that is all they had to do, that does not lead to a great sense of fulfillment either. We must discover a passion. Something we bring to the world that will inspire us and inspire the world. So what if all this does sound really great but you have no idea what your dream is? What if you have already been beaten down by the prospect of reality and given up dreaming? There are two amazing ways I recommend reconnecting with those long-lost dreams. First, remember what you always dreamed you would be as a child? Perhaps the goal itself is not 100% reachable, but then consider why it was you wanted to be that? did you want to be a singer in a famous band? Maybe your goal and desire is to entertain people? Wanted to be a Zoologist? Maybe you wanted to be involved in a career that helped animals. So think of what you wanted to be as a child and why you wanted to be that. Second, and this one I love because it can not only add a great amount of joy to your life and make it seem easier, but it can bring about the greatest changes to the world. What is this secret tool to discover your goals and dreams? Simple, take a look at what you are naturally good at and what you enjoy. do you doodle while thinking? Maybe start your own online comic strip? Love telling stories? Perhaps you could begin reading to shut-ins and those in a hospital. I know a lady who loves grocery shopping and now helps people who are unable to leave their home. She does something she enjoys, helps others and makes a few extra dollars at the same time. Even if you cannot find a way to monetize what you love. An increase in joy and decrease in stress will pay huge physical and mental dividends in your life. So discover that dream now and begin to focus on it. Make sure to do so in a positive and cheerful way. Do not focus on what you may all have to go through, focus on how great you will feel when you arrive!
A lot of the amazing ideas that show up on these pages come from the beautiful people in my life. Every now and again I am fortunate enough to meet a person who seems to be a fountain of inspiration and great ideas. This is one of those ideas, from one of those people. My new and amazing friend Cheryl. Now thanks to her we are all going to have a little homework this weekend. Before you begin cursing her out or feeling dread let me assure you this is a super fun ‘assignment’ you will enjoy doing and will add a lot of joy to your life. Have you ever noticed how excited young children seem to be about life? They continuously rattle off all the dreams and things they will accomplish when they grow up. Astronaut, world traveler, lion tamer and the list goes on. All the up to our teenage years we continue to dream. Then something seems to happen in our mid to late twenties, we begin to give up on our dreams one by one. They suffer from neglect and perish. Shortly there after so does our life, at least from a passionate standpoint. So here is your goal for this weekend, or if you are reading this after it has been published, for the next couple days. Take a momentary pause, make yourself a nice cup of coffee, or if you are Cheryl tea. Now sit down and begin a list of everything you would really like to do in your life. Maybe you would like to sail somewhere? Maybe you would learn how to sail? Learn to play an instrument? Travel to Fiji? By the way, if yours is the last one let me know maybe we can get a group discount. The point is here not to censor yourself. Write down whatever comes to mind no matter how far-fetched it may seem. leave at least one line between each item. When you have gotten a pretty decent list started go back at think about why you would like to do each item. Would you like to learn to sail because you love the feeling of the open water? Maybe you just like the feeling of controlling your own direction? The why here is really important, it gives the goal meaning. Now once you have completed your list keep it somewhere you will see it often. Bathroom mirror, liquor cabinet, wherever you go often. Read it often eventually you may find yourself faced with opportunities to do some of these things. It will reignite the fire and passion you had for life as a young child. Life will become an adventure again instead of just a job. I would love to describe other amazing things that will transpire, but writing this has fired me up enough to get started on my own list right now!
“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams”
This may be one quick way to motivate yourself into action. If we admit our current situation is of our doing we often leave ourselves with two questions. If we are dissatisfied the question is “what are we going to do about it”. If we are satisfied the question becomes “Now what?”. Either way you can see accountability is a great beginning to a better life.