The weekend is here! We have earned it. Just a word of caution, do not let the two days after Friday ruin all your effort from the five days before Friday. We might be able to relax a little more on the weekend, and we should, but stay committed to your goals!
What do you do to stay motivated and disciplined on the weekends? Please share in the comments below. I think we could all use a little extra help with motivation and dedication on the weekend!
Today, many of us are looking for the one trick, or hack, that will allow us to turn our life around. Here is the good and bad news. There is a hack that will allow you to accomplish all of your goals, in all the areas of your life. Here is the bad news for many of you. That hack is self-discipline. Consistent focused action is what will allow you to reach, and in many cases surpass, the goals you are now chasing.
This should make you breathe a sigh of relief. There is no wondering “Is this going to work?”. There will be ups and downs, but every day you will be getting closer to your goal. It may seem like you take three steps back for every step forward, but even then there are lessons to be learned. In this way, you are still moving closer to your goal, even if it does not feel like it.
If you want to succeed in life, if you want to accomplish any goal or achieve that dream, know that it is self-discipline that is the key to getting there. If you are looking for a bridge from where you are to where you want to be, it is the discipline of consistent action. Start that journey today.
I want to share with you a lesson I learned and some examples that came to my mind when I heard it. I was listening to some motivational/inspirational videos while on my way to work. This is a practice I recommend for everyone. You never know when you will either hear something new, or a reminder of something powerful you already know. This one falls into the latter category. In this particular video, the speaker referenced a quote from Jim Rohn, who I enjoy anyway. I am going to share that quote with you below.
The pain of discipline verses the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. We can all grasp what that means to a certain point, but I wanted to give us a few real life examples to drive the point home. The first one that came to mind was eating pizza. Why? Mostly because I am always thinking of eating pizza. It is my favorite food to eat. If I could, I would probably have it seven days a week. Here is the thing. Eating pizza tastes good in the moment. It gives a quick boost of the ‘feel good chemicals’ in the brain. Putting off the urge to stuff your face with a delicious slice of sauce pie in favor of something slightly more healthy is not as fun. It takes…you guessed it, discipline. That’s a little painful. Say, ounces. If we are constantly giving in to the urge to eat pizza, or just unhealthy for that matter, we may feel good in the moment. Fast forward a year or so down the road. Our clothes have to be in a larger size. When we get out of the shower and look in the mirror, our hearts sink. We don’t feel as confident out in public. That is merely the outside. Inside, our arteries are clogging. Our heart is being forced to pump harder and our liver is working overtime dealing with the processed food. We can find ourselves depressed about how we look daily, or in the emergency room dealing with a heart issue. Then we would feel…regret over our choices. That ways a ton.
There will be actually two more quick examples. This can help us grasp this concept better and see where we are paying tons instead of ounces. Working out is another great example. Going to the gym is not fun for most people. It is stressful on the body, you get exhausted (although you actually gain energy on the back end) and you get sweaty and gross. (except for my lady who manages to look amazing after a workout) Taking time to go to the gym and spending the effort to put in a workout takes discipline. Especially when you really don’t feel like it. A life devoted to sloth and binge watching Netflix sounds more appealing on the surface. That takes very little discipline. You don’t have to pay those ounces. What happens as you grow older? Your bone density weakens and you are more likely to fracture something should you fall. It takes you far longer, and for more breath, to simply climb a flight of stairs. You must sit out times with your children and grandchildren, letting those memories slip away. You regret not keeping yourself in better shape. That weighs tons.
Our last example hits home for many of you after the holidays. Credit cards. They are super dangerous because they allow us, temporarily, to live beyond our means. “You mean I can get this thing even if I do not have the money yet?” is the thought many have. It can remove the pain of being disciplined and waiting until you earn enough for it. Those who like to skip the ounces required when it comes to paying your bills can find their credit card debt climbing. What starts to happen is the interest and late fees take up most of your payment with very little going to the actual amount owed. You look regretfully at the new pink Stanley mug, or whatever you bought. Suddenly, you find yourself pondering taking advantage of some of the bankruptcy lawyer commercials you see on television. As you can see in the picture above, that regret can feel like a ton of weight on your back.
Think of examples in your own life where you chose the weight of regret over the weight of discipline. You may feel like you are escaping in the moment, but it seldom leads to a good outcome. It reminds me of a quote by another amazing speaker, Les Brown. When people first hear this quote, they may not understand it, or dismiss it, but the examples above prove it to be quite valid.
This is not my review of the Michael J Fox movie that I enjoy. No, it is the actual secret that I use to succeed. Above is a not so flattering picture of yours truly. You may be wondering the reason I am sharing that. It shows me leaving the gym this past Saturday at about 7:15am after a one and a half hour workout. That’s right, I woke up at 5am on my off day to go to the gym. This begs another question to many. Why on earth would I do that? This is where the secret to success I use comes up.
I do not fancy myself the smartest, most energetic or have the most free time of anyone I know. Therefore, I have to make up for that in other ways. One of the main ways in which someone can make up for not being the top in these other categories is the self-discipline of hard work. I made a commitment to going to the gym three days a week. Those three are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I could go, and often do, other days as well, but those three are a requirement. Do you know what would happen if I did not go? Do you know who would hold me accountable? Nobody. In fact, if I didn’t go to the gym one day and just decided to relax, a lot of people would not blame me. I work roughly 45 – 50 hours a week at the post office. I DJ Sunday nights and write these blogs daily. Add to that, working on my fourth book and things can get very busy. A day off would be totally understandable.
Back to the question of why I chose to do it before the sun even got up. Yes, it was still dark out when I got to the gym. Yes, it was cold. Yes, it was raining. Here is the thing. Margie and I were doing a craft fair and had to be there to set up at 8:30am. The fair itself went until 3pm. I knew after that I would really not feel like going to the gym. Still, I had my commitment. The only option was to get up early and go.
I mentioned that nobody would hold me accountable, or give me a hard time if I did not go. That is not entirely true. That little voice in the back of my head would have let me know that I did not keep my commitment to myself. We discussed the issues with this in the post Who is your master, last week. If you haven’t read that one, it might be a good time to do so. I knew that if I did not keep my word to myself that it would begin to erode my opinion of the person I see in the mirror. Was it fun getting up at 5am and going outside in the dark, cold and rain? Hell no. Do you know what was fun? Knowing for the rest of the day that I kept my commitment to myself and to my health. That self-discipline, holding yourself accountable, is what allows me to succeed. It will do the same for you.
I think discipline, especially self-discipline, is one of the most attractive qualities. Being able to do what you said you would do, long after the urge to do it has passed, is very admirable. It is not only keeping your word to those you told, but, and perhaps more importantly, it is keeping your word to yourself. How do you think people feel about you when you break your word to them? Not so good would be my guess. They start to trust you less and view you as less reliable. When you do not maintain your self-discipline, that is how you start viewing yourself. It begins to tear down your self-image. This, in turn, affects your self-confidence. Having a poor self-confidence and self-image can lead to a whole host of problems. The inability to put yourself out there. The reluctance to try new things. Missed opportunities.
If we stop to think about it, self-discipline is really self-love. When we keep our world to others and to ourselves, we can hold our heads up high. We have a sense of pride. Not to mention, we do not have the stress that comes with not getting the things we planned on getting done just because we didn’t feel like it. If we only work when we feel like it, we will only go so far. I heard a saying that went something like this, “Motivation gets you started, discipline allows you to finish.”
Next time you feel like ‘giving yourself a break’ and not finishing what you said you would do, realize you are doing yourself a great disservice. You will diminish your standing in both the eyes of others and in the eyes staring back at you in the mirror. Keep your word to yourself. Here is what I have found, the more you act with self-discipline, the easier it becomes. If you take control of your mind, instead of it controlling you, the muscle of self-discipline will only grow stronger.
Many of us concern ourselves with being powerful. We try to control situations as much as we are able. Some of us even try to control others. Those are fools endeavors. You will never be able to fully control any situation. There are just too many variables and doing so will only add stress to it. Controlling others is not only morally incorrect, but it leads to resentment and loss of respect. If we wish to be truly powerful, we should focus solely on controlling ourselves.
When we allow someone to affect our emotional state, they in turn become our master. If we put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket, true happiness will be a door that forever remains locked. Our emotions are powerful. Our mind is beyond powerful. It is up to us to control and direct that power to a worthwhile end. If we do not, it will be at the whim of outside circumstances. Our live will feel out of control, and worse than that, it actually will be.
This is not a state secret. The mind is a very powerful force. The constant conversation existing there can either be encouraging, or limiting. We can be filled with confidence, or with doubt. The difference is having control of our mind. How do we get control of our mind? There are many ways. Meditation is one. Learning to harness all of our runaway thoughts. To strengthen the mind/body connection so that we may use it for healing instead of sickness. Another way to control our minds is developing discipline. Many people think this is just for overachievers. Not so. Your mind will forever convince you that you have earned that binge watching session on the couch. Maybe you have. Delaying immediate gratification for accomplishment of long-term goals means you will not be a slave to your desires.
You may be asking yourself what the big deal is in all of this. Who cares if I take an extra break? Would not life be more enjoyable spending extra time in pleasure activities? It would be…if we earn them. To know that our paper isn’t written, or our housework is not done will be a constant source of stress no matter how hard we work to ignore it. Think you are pulling one over on the boss by taking an extra break? For several reasons this is not so. The obvious one is that you will be one of the first employees to go when the company hits hard times. Even worse is the knowledge that you are getting paid for more than you are doing. Your coworkers could see it. Your boss certainly might notice. Even if you manage to fool all of them, the loss of pride and self-realization that you are not being the best version of yourself at whatever endeavor you are engaged in, will haunt you when you are alone.
Today, do not give in to the voices in your head. Become the master and not the mastered. You deserve to bring the best of you, not only to the world, but to whatever you are doing. Put off immediate gratification. Remember the long term goal. It may not seem as ‘fun’ but it will leave you with a sense of pride in yourself that will feel better than any binge watching session or high-calorie indulgence you may be considering. You can do this. You got this!
There are many times when I hear such things as “Monday is hard.” Yes, it sure is. Having to leave one’s family and go to work can be a difficult decision. It can be a struggle. Especially if the weather is poor and we have not had enough sleep. How can we stay dedicated to our goals when it would be a lot easier to call in to work and stay in bed? How can we stay committed to our fitness goals when it is so easier to just eat that delicious pizza or tacos? We could do both, and anything else we are trying to accomplish by understanding one principle.
Not to ruin it for you, but the answer is in the quote from Jim Rohn up above. Hard work is well, by definition, hard. Saying no to staying in bed and sleeping is hard. Do you know what else is hard? Being fired for not working hard or not showing up. That is hard. Not having enough money to pay our bills is hard. Being embarrassed to seek help from family and friends just to get by. That’s hard. Having people think we are a loser because we can’t get out of bed. Thinking the same thing about ourselves. Those are hard.
Same holds true in our diet and fitness realm. Saying no to the free doughnuts in the breakroom, that is hard. Going to the gym in freezing weather when we could be tucked under the blanket? Quite hard. Doing it when you have a beautiful blonde to snuggle up to? Very hard. Trust me on that one. Do you know what else is hard? Having elevated blood sugar and cholesterol. Being at greater risk for heart attack and death. That is hard. Having more aches and pains and running out of breath. Hard. Possibly leaving your loved ones behind at an early age? That is not only hard for you, but for them as well.
We may think staying in bed or eating that doughnut is the ‘easy’ or ‘painless’ solution. It might be at the time. What we must realize is that everything has a cost. What may seem difficult in the moment, the pain of discipline, will make our life easier in the long run. What seems like ‘giving in’ or the easy solution, will cost us much more in the end. That is the pain of regret. As Mr. Rohn pointed out, discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons. Think of what pain you are suffering.
Mid-week and we are looking at a quick reminder. This quote compares excuses with discipline. It is very true. You may think your excuse will get you out of some work, or some stress, but it always comes back to you. Something to think about when you are ready to make an excuse. Do I want to make my life harder later? That is a good question to ask when faced with the decision to make an excuse or to be disciplined and do the work even when you don’t feel like it.
I like this quote even better! I wish it would show the second half of what he said which was, “discipline weighs ounces. Regret weighs tons.” How many of us can testify to that? Think of all the regret you have had in the past over decisions not to be disciplined? The pain of discipline can be intense in the moment. It can be uncomfortable. After the action is done, that pain usually passes. In many cases, it is replaced by a feeling of pride for have remained loyal to your commitments. Regret, however, that beast not only weighs as much as a ton of bricks, it sticks with you for a long time. Sometimes you can carry that heavy load to the grave. Is that the choice you really want to make?
I have spent the better part of 2 decades in the field of self-improvement. I have been an author of self-improvement books for over ten. I have been doing this blog for over 10 years as well. I have been a life coach, keynote speaker, podcast guest and host on the subject of improving your life. I have been on several television shows and appeared in a few publications as well. I tell you this not to impress you, but to tell you that I would have to be a complete idiot at this point not to realize the patterns and tools that work to positively impact your life. There are certain skills that if developed, have major impacts on your life. Skills such as becoming a life-long learner, developing a personal health plan, reducing your stress or developing your skills in dealing with others. There is one skill that stands above all of the rest. With this skill, you can accomplish anything. Without this skill, life will be hard and you are unlikely to get very far in it.
That skill is discipline. More to the point, self-discipline. You can have the greatest fitness knowledge. You can even come in and knock out a great 2 hour workout. If you don’t come back several times that week, you are unlikely to see the results. You can know all there is to know about nutrition. You can know about macros and micros. If you eat a healthy plant-based meal on Monday, but down a burger or two the other 6 days of the week, you are not going to have a healthy physique. Doing the right things once in a while does not give us an amazing life. The secret to an amazing life is self-discipline. It is consistently doing the right thing, even when the mood to do so is not present. This is easy to say, but very difficult to accomplish.
If self-discipline is so“ difficult, why should we bother working on it? That depends, what kind of life do you want to have? If you do not have the self-discipline to get up on time, and get to work on time, you will never be able to keep a job. If you don’t have the discipline to control your emotions and constructively convey your feelings, you will find it very hard to maintain friendships or relationships. As we mentioned with diet and exercise, if you want to live a life full of health and vitality, you need self-discipline. You want to own your own business but can’t get up without hitting the snooze button 5 times? Good luck. Here is one thing people confuse about having self-discipline. They think they can be undisciplined is some areas of life, and still be disciplined in others. It seldom, if ever, works that way. To steal an analogy from our last post, these are ‘gazelle people’. Their motivation is driven by outside factors. “If they pay me enough and my boss is nice to me I will show up.” “If there is nothing good on television, then I will go to the gym.” These people live a life of excuses and not one of results.
You may have begun to understand how important self-discipline is, but how do you get it if you do not have it now? That is a great question. There are many books and suggestions on how to develop self-discipline. One of my favorites is Discipline Equals Freedom by Jocko Willink. There are also a host of videos on YouTube. One of my favorite speakers that propels me to be the most disciplined and best version of myself is Inky Johnson. I highly recommend you check out his story. There are also instructional videos with a host of ideas. Look up several and see what works for you. Developing your self-discipline is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
To get you started, I am going to recommend some of the same things we mentioned in the last post, along with one more. First, get a strong why. Know why becoming a self-disciplined person is so important. Think of everything you can gain by being so. Trust me when I tell you that everything you want is on the other side of self-discipline. I mean everything. You want to be a good parent? That takes self-discipline. You want to be the best lover and partner for your spouse? Yep. Self-discipline. I am a fan of using the carrot and the stick as they say. Use the power of both pleasure and pain. Think of what you will lose if you are not self-disciplined. In the long run, that is everything. You want to keep your job or have your business continue to succeed? You must be disciplined to consistently show up on time, work hard and bring good results or they will begin to look for someone who will. You want to keep your partner head over heals in love with you? You must be disciplined in your approach to that relationship. You want to keep people’s respect? You must be disciplined to show up on time and do what you say you will, even when you don’t feel like it.
Yes, self-discipline is hard. It is also the golden key to accomplish anything you want in life. Nothing can withstand disciplined consistent action. It is like the water that slowly wears away the rock. If it flowed for a day and said, “This is not having any effect.” nothing would happen. By flowing over that rock, day after day, after some time, it will completely wear the rock away. I suggest starting with something small. Prove to yourself that you can be disciplined. One of the best is to start waking up early. If you can beat the snooze temptation, you already start your day with a win. What do you really lose anyway? 5 or 10 minutes of low quality sleep…if you are lucky. What happens if you decide to wake up without hitting snooze and you fail? The pillow or the sexy person, or warm dog next to you is too tempting? This shouldn’t be too shocking of an answer. You stay disciplined. You go after again the next day. What if you fail again? You guessed it. You stay disciplined. You commit to doing it again the next day. Once you implement discipline into your life, you will wonder how you got anything done without it.
It is Monday, and that can be a pain. People generally focus on what is causing them pain in their lives. Why? In a physical sense, it can be pretty hard to ignore. When the pain is mental or emotional, it can be overwhelming.
The bad news first, there will always be pain in your life. Pretty inspiring for a Monday, right? Pain is not always a bad thing. It can be one of life’s greatest teachers. It can let us know when something is not right in our lives. This can be the pain of a physical injury, where our body is letting us know something is wrong. Even the heartache of a toxic relationship is pain that is telling us that person is not right for us.
The good news is that in many ways you can choose your pain. In most cases this comes down to the decision of the pain of discipline verses the pain of regret. I am forever reminding Margie that “discipline equals freedom” a quote I stole from Jocko Willink. So much so, she probably is sick of hearing it. That does not make it any less true. If we choose to skip the initial pain of discipline, we will have to face the pain of regret.
Let us look at our examples above. In the case of a physical injury, physical therapy and doing exercises can be painful. If we do not do them, we could heal incorrectly and suffer the pain of regret. Toxic relationship? Breaking up with someone can be hard and painful. Staying in that relationship can have us waking up to the pain of regret with every painful episode.
How about you? Are there disciplines you are putting off because they are painful? Not disciplined in your fitness because you “don’t have time” or it is “too hard”. Let me tell you from experience. The pain of a good workout goes away in time. The pain of being out of shape is something you have to deal with daily. Not disciplined in your diet because you would just rather “eat what you like. ” or “eat what tastes good.” Then you must suffer the regret of all the pains an unhealthy diet give you. These pains, such as heart disease, can be fatal.
This week, if you find yourself trying to get out of the pain of discipline,ask yourself what the pain of regret will be if you don’t follow through. Be honest with yourself. The pain of missing just one workout or the pain of eating just one doughnut can lead to the regret of choosing bad habits over good ones.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 