Tag: determination

FALL IN LOVE WITH THE BOTTOM OF THE ICEBERG đź§Š

When we see a massive iceberg, roughly 90% of it is underwater. That means, doing simple math, what we see is only 10% of the entire thing. Same with success. The victory, the accomplishments and the achieving of goals is only 10% of the process. As the photo above shows, 90% of the process involves things like hard work, sleepless nights and persistence. If this is where most of our time and energy end up, it is important we need to fall in love with this aspect. Why settle for being happy a mere 10% of the time? You deserve more from you life.

Falling in love with the process sounds rather cute and cliche, but what is the true meaning behind it? More to the point, how can we start to do that? As an author, I can tell you that the time I get to celebrate publishing a book is a mere fraction of the time it takes to write it. If I were to only be happy when a book was completed, it would be a pretty miserable existence. One way I found that keeps me loving the process is celebrating small wins along the way. Whether that is finishing a chapter, designing a cover, or simply opening my computer to write, there is lots to celebrate. On days when the process is the most difficult, that is when it is important to celebrate the most. Maybe you can congratulate your self for just showing up. Take getting in shape. They say the heaviest weight in the gym is the front door. That means the most difficult part of working out is getting your butt to the gym. Anyone starting this journey certainly could agree.

Another way to love the process is to develop and maintain a growth mindset. That is to say seeing challenges and obstacles as a way to learn, grow and reach closer to your goal. This can be made a lot easier by being mindful and present. When you are fully in the moment and not upset that you are not where you want to be just yet, it allows you to focus and control your energy better. It is also wise to take a brief mental trip into the future and do your best to feel like you will once your goal is accomplished. Experiencing that, if only briefly, may give you the motivation to push on.

How do you fall in love with the process? What keys to success would you offer our viewers? Share in the comments below.

KEEP YOUR DREAM SAFE

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“A blog about happiness? that is just stupid!” “writing a book is more complicated than you know, it will take to long and cost too much” “Ok, so you wrote a book, don’t expect to sell too many copies” “My friend wrote a book and all he sold was a few dozen copies so don’t expect too much” These were actually all quotes I have been told. Some by very well-meaning people who I believe just didn’t want to get my hopes dashed. Do you have people in your life like this? They seem to find the thorn in every rose. Like I said earlier, some even mean well. They don’t want to see your dreams get crushed, but little do they realize that by doing so they are contributing to the crushing. I am here to tell you that I believe in you. I have seen people with every disadvantage succeed. For my own story and the quotes above I did manage to launch a blog, the very one you are reading presently. 3 years and getting bigger every day. I also managed to complete my book A Happy Life for Busy People and learned some great things along the way. I have sold about 500 copies to date and look to get it in the hands of more people. If you would like a copy just click on the title above and it will take you to a place where you can order it.

Does my own story not inspire you enough? Still finding it hard to listen to people saying no to you time after time? Trust me, I can understand. Promoting my books, website and seminars has taught me you have to go through many ‘nos’ to get a ‘yes’. So how do I keep going? Well, in addition to the tips I mentioned in yesterdays post on determination I have one more for you. Keep a record of, and read about people who have overcome challenges to achieve their dream. Here is one to get you started. There was a gentleman who was creative and determined to achieve his dream. Sadly, the one thing he was missing was capital. So this man went to the bank to try to find funding for his dream. They said no. He did not give up, he went to the next bank, they also said no. Imagine how that must have felt. Being rejected personally twice? Here is the amazing thing. It took over 300 banks to get a ‘yes’. I don’t know about you, but I am not sure my self-doubt would not kick in before bank 300. Still this man succeeding beyond his wildest dreams. For us, these days there are things like the internet, crowd funding and virtual banks to assist us.

Oh, and who was this man? Walt Disney when he was trying to get funding for Disneyland. Imagine the loss to millions of adults, not to mention children if Mr. Disney had not been so passionate about his dream. So believe in yours, find people who also  believe. read and discover stories about others who have succeeded and remember often the people putting down your dream may just be hurting because they have not achieved theirs.

WHAT MISTAKES TRULY MEAN

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I speak with people often on a variety of subjects. Sometimes people ask me about living a more positive and rewarding life. On occasion people ask me about my relationship and how they can also have a fabulous one. I also hear from people after my seminars and people who have read my book A Happy Life for Busy People here is something I hear a lot, “Neil I have tried to achieve this goal, but it didn’t work” I then asked them how many different things they have tried. Usually they look at me slightly confused and give me an answer ranging from one to three. I then share with them a fact I find truly amazing. Edison had tried over 10,000 different items to make a filament for a light bulb. When asked if he was upset by failing so many times he replied “I just learned 10,000 ways to not make a light bulb” I am not sure to many of us would try 10,000 times to make the perfect cake or a tasty dinner.

When trying to promote my book or seminars I often think of this story. How much further would we be set back if Edison had given up? How much longer would we be without the light bulb? You may say “well that’s not me, I couldn’t do that”. I am hear to tell you that you used to do it. What do I mean by that? Let me ask you this, how may times as a baby did you fall before you learned to walk? Did you give up and say “this walking thing might not be for me” You see all of us begin life with a determination to succeed at our goals. If we didn’t there would be a lot of adults out there crawling around.

So how do we develop a determination to match Edison? I believe the answer is two-fold. First, develop a strong enough why. If the reason to succeed is important enough to you the how will be found. Second, remember if you as a baby didn’t give up, why would the adult. Is it because we have learned to accept failure? Is it because it is easier to give up? Perhaps we are just not as focused on what we stand to gain by our success or lose by our giving up.

I am going to leave you with one thought and a quote to take away from this. The biggest area I hear this in is relationships. People tell me they tried to make their partners happy or bring the passion back to their relationship, but it just ‘didn’t work’. I always ask, how many things did they try? Think of how important your goal is, what you stand to gain and what you stand to lose. Think of all you didn’t give up on when you were young. Reading, writing, learning your language. How would your life be different if you had just tried once we these things? Remember if you find yourself giving up, even determination is something you have to be determined to succeed at.

Here is the quote I promised you. It comes from the famous baseball player Babe Ruth

“You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up”