Tag: dale carnegie

THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP? ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON

One of my best skills, and the one I am asked about most often, is the ability to develop rapport with others. For years I recommended reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. That is my favorite book and I have read no less than 10 times. It has some great clues, but did not give the full picture.

Dale Carnegie was not the relationship master I had solely drawn from. The other was notorious for not having good relationships. Clues were exactly what lead to this revelation while I was in the shower moments ago. It seems that is where all of our good thinking happens.

One of my favorite movies of my youth was Young Sherlock Holmes. It gives the childhood back story of one of the world’s greatest detectives. That, my friends, is exactly what creating rapport and fostering great relationships takes! You must become a great detective.

In Sherlock Holmes stories and movies, he always tells you the observations and assertions he uses to solve a case. People are one big detective case in themselves. The more we observe to learn, the better our chances of  a great interaction with them will be.

This can be noticing small details such as what their clothes can tell you. Are they using their right or left hand predominantly? What turn of phrase do they seem to use often? They may not give us all of the answers, but can give us clues to explore.

We could spend hours breaking this down, but instead I encourage you to try it out today. Give yourself two distinct challenges. First, pick a person you do not know that well. It could be a person you run into in a service capacity, a coworker or anyone else. Make as many observations on them as you can. Take mental notes and see what they can tell you by putting them all together. Tougher still, try doing this with someone you already know. See what things you can learn that you don’t already know. The better you know them, the tougher the case, but the bigger the rewards!

Treating relationships as cases to be solved may sound rather crude, but it can lead to an astounding deepening of connection. It may also surprise you with how many things you miss. Clues that can make cheering them up, buying the perfect gift and growing closer to them easier than you could ever imagine.

DON’T BE A FOOL! 🃏

Today is April Fools Day. Not a holiday I am a fan of, but a good time to take a look at what makes a fool. After all, nobody wants to be associated with being the fool, not even on April Fools Day. As the quote above from Willy Shakespeare shows, one of the first sign of a fool is the belief they know it all. Never, in any situation, can anyone really know it all. There are so many different variables to consider, and the change so fast, that there is always more to learn. It has been my observation that people who act as if they know it all really suffer from a lack of self-confidence or a poor self-image. Where someone who is wise, knows that there is always more to learn and is not afraid to admit he has more to learn. The first way to be a fool is to think, and act, like you know it all.

The second quote comes from one of my favorite authors, Dale Carnegie. He wrote my favorite book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly suggest you do so. It will not only change your life, but the lives of everyone you come in contact with. Here, Mr. Carnegie points out a trait of fools. They criticize, condemn and complain. Not only does this make you foolish, it makes you unpleasant to be around. This was brought home by my friend Gonzo. We were chatting the other night and he said something I thought each one of us could be reminded of. He said, “Everyone can complain, but it doesn’t mean you have to.” What does complaining, condemning and criticizing do for us? Very little would be the answer. Much like our first example, people who do this usually have a poor self-image. They do so because it makes them feel more secure in themselves. It is far better to encourage, inspire and uplift. Second way to be a fool is to constantly criticize, condemn and complain.

Today, let us not to anything foolish. Instead of thinking we know it all or constantly complaining and criticizing, let us look to learn, listen and inspire. The way some folks act, fools day can be far more than the first of April. Let us be a light in the darkness, a wise soul in the company of fools. Be the best version of ourselves and leave the foolishness to the fools.

YOU’RE READING THAT BOOK… AGAIN?! 📚

I ran into my friend Linda at my day job today. For those of you who may not have read the post about Linda that we shared some time ago, she is a wonderful lady that stops in the Post Office I work in. Linda lost her grandson a while back and we shared some thoughts and tears on that subject. She has not only become a great supporter of my writing, but a muse of sorts as well. She is one of those friends that every time I talk to them, I leave with many more ideas to write about and share with you.

On this particular morning, we were talking about books we enjoyed. I don’t even recall how we got on the subject, if I am being honest. The interesting thing we discovered we have in common, was that we both reread books. My favorite book is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. My best guest would be that I have read it seven times. Why on earth would I do that? Do I just have that bad of a memory? No. The reason why I read that book so many times is simple. I am a different person who is reading it. Before you think that I am referring to the multiple voices who take up residence in my head, let me explain. As we go through life we are shaped by many different life experiences. Hopefully, we use them to grow and we are ever evolving. If you are reading a blog like this one, I venture to say that is probably the case for you. Therefore, when you pick up a book a year from now, the person who opens the cover will be different than the one who did so last time you read it. In fact, the hand that turns the last page will belong to a different person than the one who turned the first page.

In life there are many circumstances that deserve revisiting. Whether that is a book, a skill you are trying to develop or a course you wish to take. You are a different person than you were last time you did any of those things. You are a person who has grown, evolved and experienced many different things in life. Even reading the same book, you will appreciate it in a new way and get something new out of it. What things could you revisit that you might learn even more from now than the last time?

THE NEIL STARTER PACK



People often ask me, “Neil, what is your secret to remaining positive and limiting the negative effect stress has in your life?” It was with this question in mind that I pondered what material I would recommend that would allow individuals to make the most of their lives. My first recommendation would be to get your hands on my book “A Happy Life for Busy People” You will find a link at the end of this post. It includes everything I have learned in 20+ years in the self-improvement field. Written in a conversational tone, it is like spending time with me everytime you turn the page.
Next, the recording “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale. This 30 minute recording is nothing short of life-changing. In this recording you will learn valuable things about how your mind works as well as a plan you can easily put into place to fast track your success. I have personally listened to this recording over 100 times and it brings something new each and every time.
Third, would be the movie “The Secret” released in 2006. This movie is a basic foundation of the law of attraction. There are very important concepts highlighted in this movie. You will learn a lot and all you have to do is push play.
Lastly, would be my favorite book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This is a book I do my best to read once a year. Depending on where I am in life, this books serves as a learning tool or a great reminder. Everything we do and accomplish in life involves people. The better your ability to get along with others, the better your chances of success. I can think of no better book than this to teach you the tools to do just that.

With these four resources, you will be well on your way to an amazing life. Click the link below to get your copy of my book and begin your journey!

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FILLED WITH IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING! 😉

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE(DAY #22)

Welcome back to our celebration of 30 days of gratitude. Each day we will focus on one area of our life to be grateful for. If this is your first day doing this I invite you to go back and do the days before this. You can do them in your head, write them down and home, but it is my hope you decide to share what you are grateful for with our community here on Secret2anamazinglife.com. There are no rules. Do one day or do all 30. Let us now look at today’s area of gratitude.

Just like the last post about songs, stories in my life are plentiful. I have two full bookshelves in my office and some books that won’t even fit. As both an author and someone committed to improving themselves, I have a passion for reading. My favorite book is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. it is a book you can read several times as always get something new out of it. I love the works of Tom Brown Jr. The books that comprise The Secret collection by Rhonda Byrne are most amazing.

Stories can be found in more that just books. I also have a collection of audio material that I can learn from. As most of you know, I am a big fan of Earl Nightingale. His stories that can be found on such great works as The Strangest Secret and Lead the Field, are timeless classics.

All of these stories are great, but some of best stories are those among friends that bring a laugh to our faces and joy to our hearts. I recall a great party at my late friend Nick’s house one day during my high school years that spawned years of great stories and friendships. Margie and I have some great stories from our trips to Las Vegas and Jamaica. We are always looking to create and share new stories with each other as well.

What stories are you grateful for? We all tend to enjoy stories that remind us of the good in the world and each other. It would be great if we could share more of them with each other in the new year. 

CLICK HERE TO GET NEIL’S BOOK FILLED WITH IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE AMAZING!