This quote is not only amusing, it is also very powerful! We may chuckle when we read it, but it does force us to confront a certain reality. That reality is often the smallest things can create the biggest changes. Think of Covid. That was a virus. Something so small it could not even be seen. Still, this small thing changed the entire world! It is not always a mosquito or virus. The same can be true with things in the positive. Think of how people change just by adopting one new habit. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator or giving up soda or alcohol. These are just one little habit, yet they create a big change in people.
Just as a mosquito is a seemingly small and insignificant creature, it can sure create an issue. A while back I shared a story about an employee at the coffee shop I write at. She came in on her off day and proceeded to hand out roses to every woman present. A nice, but not that grand gesture. I cannot be sure how it affected the other women, but I know it gave my mom a great deal of joy. Not sure how many flowers she handed out, or the cost of each individual one, but each one gave joy to the life of the person who received it.
You can do the same. You do not have to hand out flowers. It can be a smile, or a genuine compliment. What may seem insignificant to you can be nothing short of magic to the person receiving it. You, my dear reader, are keeper of magic beyond your imagination. With social media, YouTube and the closeness of the globe, you can impact lives with not only your actions, but your example. Are you striving to better yourself in the new year? Those watching can draw strength and motivation for you. Believe in yourself and your power to make a difference. You can give someone hope, peace and joy. That is nothing short of magic.
Here we are at Monday again! Seems like there is 52 of them a year. So many of us dread Monday. It can be understandable. Back to work, away from the family. You can’t sleep in and spend the day drinking coffee and relaxing with those you love. Unless, of course that is your job. In which case, please let me know where they are hiring. On Monday we have obligations to meet. This time of year we might have some weather to contend with. There are far more challenges than on the weekend.
This quote from the Dalai Lama reminds us that despite our challenges, or often including them, the gift is to be alive. We need to change a little mindset on a Monday. Instead of asking ourselves how we can make it through, I feel we should ask ourselves how we can make sure not to waste it. If we adopt the saying from the Dalai Lama above, we will begin each day with both gratitude for the gift of being alive and an intention to make something out of that gift of life we have been given. This may not always lead to a successful day full of joy and dancing unicorns and rainbows, but the chances sure will improve with intent.
This may seem a bit over-the-top for some of you. It really shouldn’t be. Our lives can be one phone call, one diagnosis away from being flipped upside down. I do not think any of us could argue that. There are people in the hospital wishing and praying for the life we know have. There are people who would have gave anything to make it as long as we have. Their life may have been tragically cut short. Yes, we all have challenges and things we need to overcome. That is part of life and what helps us grow and discover new and wonderful things about ourselves and the world around us.
As for the intent portion of the equation, how much better would our day go if we looked in the mirror and declared that we were going to have a wonderful day no matter what the world threw at us? It is admitting that things may not go according to plan, but we still can maintain control over our emotions. I recall reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. In that book he describes his experiences at a Nazi concentration camp and how he managed to maintain control over his emotions. Dare I say, we will not face something so grave, but we will still face our share of challenges. It may seem like wearing rose colored glasses when we claim we can maintain our inner peace and joy despite outside circumstances, but that is not so. We can still admit we would desire things were different than they were, but that there are still many reasons to be grateful the way things are. Even if, as the quote above says, it is the gift of being alive.
This quote could not be more accurate for the world today. Unlike any other time in history, there are so many distractions to keep us from focusing on our goals. As a writer I can tell you that this is true quite often. Usually, most of my writing is done in coffee shops. Today is a rare time in which I am writing from home. I do that for the simple reason that there are less distractions at the coffee shop. At home I look up and see household chores I am supposed to be doing. Maybe my beautiful lady walks by and I pause and appreciate how lucky I am. None of that exists at the coffee shop.
That is not to say that there are no distractions. I use my phone to do research on topics I am writing about on my laptop. As I am looking up something about how the subconscious mind works, I see that the Dalai Lama sent me a friend request. (This didn’t really happen, but would be cool) Suddenly I am scrolling through social media for several minutes. Then a man in a strange hat comes into the coffee shop and I pause to notice him. I glance to the parking lot to make sure some over-caffeinated soul does not back into my car. There are a million things that can take your attention away from your goal.
The secret is knowing this ahead of time and taking actions to block out the distractions. That could be plugging in your phone in the other room while you clean. It should be not texting while you are driving. You no doubt have your own examples. We need to see distractions for what they are – the enemy. We must take action like we would for any other enemy. We must be merciless. I can hear some of you saying, “But Neil, I need to take a break.” Well, how bad do you want the goal you are working towards? Understand the more you give into your distractions, the further away from your goal you are getting.
Make your goal a priority. My fourth book has been coming out for a while now. I must sit down and complete writing it. There are social events I will have to say ‘no’ to. Sleep might be a little less. Of course that will also be no time to see what uncle Fred has posted to his Facebook page. I would love to know what are some of the distractions that get to you the most and what ways have you found to help you stay focused. The more we share with each other, the more ideas we can have and the closer we will all be to living an amazing life.
Look at this list of amazing things that gratitude can do! It may be hard to believe, in fact you shouldn’t. Don’t take my word for it. Don’t take the word of whoever made this picture. When I was still in the early phases of my self-improvement journey, someone told me this very thing. I decided to try it for 30 days to prove them wrong. You can hear the whole story in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People.
That is exactly what I am recommending here today. Honestly do your best to be grateful as often as you can for 30 days straight. If you stumble and have a negative day, just dust yourself off and try to go for 30 days after that. I guarantee it will transform your life for the better. With Thanksgiving being tomorrow, what a perfect day to start!
If you need help on how to start an attitude of gratitude, either search ‘gratitude’ on this blog, or even Google how to become grateful. So many people from Oprah to the Dalai Lamaknow the power of gratitude, so there is plenty of information online!
I would love to hear your results of this experience, or any experience you have with the power of gratitude. Let’s share and inspire each other!
Hopefully by the time you are reading this, we have a clear winner in the United States presidential election. I am actually writing this a few days before. The victory is sure to upset some and elate others. What is important for all of us is to practice love and compassion to our fellow humans. Why? Not only is it the right thing to do, but as the Dalai Lama says above, without them humanity will not survive. Parents tell their children not to be cruel to those who disagree with them. I think most of us can recall a story when we were younger when we were told “Don’t pick on Bob and Betty just because they are different than you.” This was good advice then. Do you know what? It is still good advice. These same parents can often be the ones posted hateful messages online about opposing political views.
Isn’t it ironic that we have trouble as adults following advice we often give to children? It is true there were many issues that affect people’s lives on a very person level. I am not denying that. It is true that people have a lot of belief and passion when it comes to the issues near and dear to their hearts. That is good. We must stand up for our beliefs. That does not mean going to war with those whose beliefs differ from our own. They no more deserve to be put down for their beliefs than we do.
My challenge to each of you reading this is to find ways to demonstrate love and compassion for all of your neighbors. One thing that puts fear into leaders is to see people working together. A little bit of fear in our leaders is a good thing. ‘Divide and conquer’ is more than just a cliche, it is the truth. As has been demonstrated, when leaders just argue and blame, nothing gets solved. Let us not emulate that. Let us work together to create a better world for our children. Let us do this by using love and compassion.
It is Sunday, so we will not have you read too much. Plus, the picture above pretty much says it all. We do not need a specific belief or dogma to be good people. We need to simply live with compassion and a respect for other’s human dignity. I would extend that to other living things as well, but that is a subject for a different post. That is not to say you should not follow a faith. If you have one that helps foster these basic characteristics, that is fabulous! If someone else has a different faith that helps then foster these same traits, that is fabulous too!
I think as humans we have a tendency to over complicate things. This includes our faiths. We also seem to like conflict. If someone has different dogma or rituals than us, but that person is a good human, that’s great! We should not care if they worship in a different way or on a different day. The question we need to know is, “Are you a good human?” If the answer is yes, the rest is really none of our business. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Even if they don’t do the same.
Another reason to subscribe to positive pages on your social media. I saw this quote and couldn’t help but share it with all of you. Stop and think about this for a moment. A stranger somewhere is remembering your kindness. How does that make you feel? For me, it makes my heart feel warm and happy knowing that I positively affected someone. Not to turn this into an altruistic post, but one of the benefits of helping others with no expectation in return is the fact that it does help us…feel better.
As a matter of practice, I do my best to be as nice as I can to everyone I meet. There are people who are fighting silent battles that we are often unaware of. It is important to help these wonderful folks especially. How, you might ask, are we to help people who are fighting battles we are unaware of if we are, well…unaware of them? The simple answer? Be kind to everyone. This is easy when it comes to those who serve us. This can be the person who takes our order at the coffee shop (this is where this piece is currently being written) to the person helping us find something we are looking for at the store. There are also jobs that we should be thankful for that either get overlooked or looked down on. Have you ever had to pass through security at the airport or going into a sporting event or concert? Is it a pain in the butt? Sure. Are they doing their job and also keeping us safe? The answer is also yes. These folks often get told less than pleasant things. Imagine how much it would mean if someone showed them an act of kindness? What jobs do you think fit this category?
What about those people who seemingly do not deserve our kindness? The people who are quick to anger or just sunshine-challenged to begin with? Should we be nice to them? Absolutely! This can be one of the hardest things to do, but I am going to share two things to keep in mind that might make that easier. The first may sound cliché, but I am going to share a story that really drove the point home for me. Let us do our best to remember that we never know what someone is going through. They could be in the midst of a break up or divorce. Maybe they just lost their job? In the case of Stephen Covey, the author and educator, maybe it would be best to keep this in mind before we open our mouths. There is a story where Stephen was on the subway and there was a father who was letting his kids run around, yell and just cause trouble. At first, Mr. Covey did his best to ignore the children, but as time went on the father seemed to be doing a better job of being oblivious to the children’s actions than he was, Stephen found himself becoming more and more annoyed. Not wanting to spend his entire subway journey this way, he finally spoke up. “Do you think maybe you should do something about those kids?” he asked the father. He did not get the reply he expected. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Truth is they just lost their mother and I am not sure they know how to deal with it. As a matter of fact, neither do I.” Can you imagine how terrible Stephen felt? He learned a valuable lesson that day. We never completely know why people act the way that they do.
What about those folks who act that way because they are unpleasant human beings? Those people who act miserably for the simple fact that they like others to be miserable? We really shouldn’t be nice to those people should we? Yep! It is my belief that nobody is mean or unkind to others without some story behind it. For the sake of argument, let us just pretend we couldn’t know or find it. This is often the case when the person who is being unkind is a total stranger.
There are a few reasons I keep in mind when I am doing my best impersonation of a sorcerer and trying to conjure up a spell of kindness. It is fun to imagine what happens hours later when these folks are not in our presence. Often, they can end up feeling guilty they were so unpleasant to someone who was still kind to them. Kind of hard to justify being a jerk to someone who is nice. I imagine that their guilt may help them change their behavior in the future. It may also destroy one of the main reasons people try to excuse themselves for treating people unkindly. They believe, or at least say it to justify their actions, that the world is mean, out to get them or self-serving. How can they say that when someone they were cruel to was nice to them? Sometimes they will just be mad that they could not accomplish their goal of making someone upset. I am not going to lie, that does make me smile. Knowing I ruined someone’s plans of trying to make the world a little more miserable makes me a little more happy. Here is a bonus thought. The abuse you took at the hands of this person could have been bestowed on someone who would have been less able to handle. it. Like the father in the story above. Can you imagine being screamed at after you have just lost someone you love? So, if we can absorb that so someone else doesn’t have to, we are doing a most unique public service.
Do what the Dalai Lama advises is to do – always be kind. I think we have outlined several reasons to do so above. If you have other reasons you can think of to be kind, or a story of when you were kind to a stranger, or even when a stranger was kind to you, please share them in the comments below.
Here is a picture I took of the clouds above the local Starbucks I was meeting my mother at. In fact, I am actually writing this post at a different coffee shop not far from this one. As the month comes to a close, I want to give a friendly reminder to all of us, myself included. In this new economy, we have switched from the problem of businesses being able to open, to one of them being able to find employees to serve the customers they have. This is something to keep in mind as you are served not only at your local coffee shop or restaurant, but also at grocery stores when the lines seem a bit longer than normal. Most of the business owners I talk to would really like to have more help to serve you, but they are unable to find some.
While we are experiencing longer wait times than usual or slower service let us try to keep one thing in mind. We are being served by the people who did show up. The ones who are often working double shifts or longer hours. The ones who are doing not only there job, but often the jobs of two or more people. If we encounter an employee who seems a little less than full of sunshine, let us try to remember they are probably working twice as hard as normal and running on less sleep as well. It would be easy for us to be filled with anger, but let us do as the Dalai Lama suggests and show our strength by expressing patience. Perhaps offer a ‘Thank you’ and some encouragement. Employees working short staffed often feel burnt out and under appreciated. They need our patience the most.
As the month rolls on, I ask you to keep in mind the struggles of the workers who are doing their best to serve us every day in all of the locations we go. Just to help with the tranquil mood, I am going to end with another picture of the beautiful sunset I witnessed outside of the coffee shop that day that I met my mother.
Many of us can fall into the trap of thinking we are too small to make a difference. I confess to being guilty of this myself on occasion. There really is no such thing as a ‘small person’ in today’s world. Being so interconnected, even one person can have a huge impact on the world. You can do so without even leaving your home. Take it from an author in a small town in Wisconsin who has over 32,000 followers in over 100 countries. This blog has inspired more people than I ever thought possible. It is not only very humbling, but proves that no matter who you are, you can make a big difference.
As the quote from the Dalai Lama shows us, even the smallest of creatures can make the biggest of impacts. Sleeping with a mosquito can be quite a challenge. How can a creature so much smaller than us dictate whether we are able to sleep at night? You have seen one activist take on policies of corrupt corporations. Although, these are positive examples, the truth can go both ways. One match can start a fire that burns thousands of acres and costs billions of dollars worth of damage and many people their homes. One criminal can have an entire neighborhood living in fear. Yes, one person can make a very big difference. Something to keep in mind not only when we are feeling small, but when you are tempted to treat anyone as small or less than.
Another situation where small is powerful is when we are trying to reach our goals. The picture above is worth a thousand words. (which should save you a great deal of reading in this post) Sometimes we chase big change and radical steps, which may often leave us unable to move forward. What we should be focusing on is taking small, consistent steps towards our goals every day. In doing so, we will move great distances. You can cover many miles if you take one step at a time.
Lastly, here is a sign I saw when I actually found a Starbucks that was open. This is one of my favorite quotes. Not only was it demonstrated by the staff working that day, but it was a great reminder to all of their customers. We may find ourselves wondering, “Should I really tell that person their hair looks nice?” “Is it really important to let our coworkers know they did a good job?” The answer to any kind words or acts you are pondering doing is a definite YES!!! Picking up one piece of litter does not seem so powerful, but what if you picked up one piece ever three days? Imagine what one hundred pieces of garbage would look like on your front lawn? The seemingly meaningless compliments Mentioned above? Whether you are Taylor the waitress from the diner or Taylor Swift, we all have days when we are not feeling our best and appreciate a kind word from a friend, or even a stranger. Your coworker might be feeling unappreciated and just knowing that someone notices the hard work they are putting in can make all the difference in the world to them.
What do all of these small acts really add up to? It may not seem like much until we consider the ripple effect. Like tossing a pebble into a pond. The rings, or ripples, spread out until they reach the distant shore. Much like our words and actions do. You may think it only would affect one person, but you would be wrong. Let us take a look at the compliment example. When you lift up someone’s confidence who is feeling down, they are more likely to smile at others. They are also more likely to try new things, it strengthens their immune system. Even your coworker can really be affected. Do you a person would go home to their family differently if they were feeling valued verses unappreciated? So you not only affect your coworker by saying “Good job” but indirectly you affect their family too. You also may affect the barista at the coffee shop, the cashier at the grocery store and anyone else they come into contact with. In today’s world, there is no such thing as a small person or a small act. We are all connected and affect each other far more than we realize.
This idea came to me through my friend, Eduardo, in Italy. Some of the greatest ideas I have had came through conversations with others, whether that is at my seminars, my book signings or even as I DJ. This discussion started with selecting who would be in our mastermind group. He mentioned Angus Young from the band AC/DC. Not who many people might consider, but Eduardo made a great point. To be inspired is to be literally ‘in spirit’ and their music put him in the spirit to have a more positive outlook and be ready to tackle life. In other words, rock music is one of his secrets to an amazing life.
The Latin meaning of the word inspire translates to “Breathe into”. It has been defined as “fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially something creative.” Music is a great example of something that breathes into us a force or energy. I know at the gym my headphones are a key component to getting my work done. At home cleaning, it is music that often distracts me from my task at hand. Depending on the task at hand I listen to different things. Going for a tough workout, it might be some music from the band Sixx:A.M. (I will include a video at the end if you would like to add them to your workout list.) If I am on the way to walk in nature I may listen to the Native American rock band Red Thunder. If I want to be inspired to relax, it is classic jazz or the violin player Vanessa Mae. Can you think of different music you use to inspire you?
I believe the best way to inspire others is to be wholly, apologetically yourself. When you become the best version of yourself, even people who may not agree with you have to develop a degree of respect. When you are brave enough to show who you truly are you inspire others to do the same. What inspires you to be the best version of yourself? On the way to write this evening, I listened to The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale. I must have listened to that hundreds, if not thousands of times. It is one of the most life-changing things you could listen to in my opinion. I just finished reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. It inspires me to renew my faith as well as keep my focus positive. When I go for a walk in nature it inspires me to feel connected in a way that is hard to relate.
Everywhere in life we look there are chances to both inspire and be inspired. In past posts, as well as my upcoming book, I advocate asking yourself the 2 questions “What can I find positive about this?” and “How can I use this?” They can turn almost any situation to your favor. I might add that adding the question “How can this inspire me?” might be a great secret to an amazing life. When Margie and I recently visited a coffee shop that employed mentally and physically challenged individuals in order to help them improve their place in the employment world, it was easy to feel inspired. When I am at the post office and I am in the presence of a coworker who seems to define what a negative mindset is, how can that inspire me? If you get in the habit of asking that in the face of challenging situations it can make a big difference.
In the not so hypothetical example of the post office, it has made a huge difference. I used to get upset and discouraged at our sunshine-challenged friend. Then I asked myself what she can inspire me to do. When I put it that way to myself, it changed my entire outlook in the situation. I was inspired to match her negative comments with positive ones. Not directed at her, but to share with those at the workplace who may have been affected by her negativity. Also, knowing that there exists such negativity motivates and inspires me to write and research more about the art of happiness. (The Art of Happiness is a great book by the Dalai Lama)
Another great way to be inspired is to surround yourself with inspiring people. This may sound like an obvious solution, but it is one we usually pay little attention to. How many people in your inner circle inspire you? As I mentioned at the start of this post, a wonderful person in Italy that I consider a friend, inspired the very words you are reading. My friend Shannon inspires me to read great books and increase my knowledge of nature. My friend Jon, who is both an amazing DJ and musician, inspires me to take care to use entertainment to bring joy to others. To, of course, my beautiful Margie. She inspires a lot of different things in me. Some of which are to learn new ways to express love and be romantic. She inspires me to become the best man I can be. Her beauty inspires me to workout so that she can have the most attractive man that she can be proud of. She inspires my drive to succeed at my career so I can whisk her away to beautiful exotic locations.
What inspires you? What music inspires you? What do you need inspiration to do? What do you think would change in your life if you started asking yourself the magical question, “How can I use this for inspiration?” Remember in life there are always opportunities to both inspire and be inspired. What are some of yours?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 