Here is hoping your Holiday season is coming along quite well. One question that is always difficult for me to answer is, “What would you like for Christmas?” The same is true for my birthday and any other celebration. I may have finally come up with the perfect gift. Looking at my life, I certainly have enough ‘stuff’. Probably more stuff than I need. My relationship is amazing and with the most beautiful lady. Time spent with family and friends are always so rewarding. My job pays me fairly well. What possibly could be something I am missing?
The gift I am speaking of is continuation. How many people ask for that under the tree? When you have a life like mine, there is so much to be grateful for, why would you need anything on top of that? All I would like is more of the same. Waking up next to the woman I love. Having a job to go to. Being able to work out and continue my journey to good physical fitness. Coming home to that same beautiful and wonderful woman. Going for walks and out to coffee with my mom. Trips to the zoo and museum on occasion. Great conversations with friends. Having the privilege of sharing my thoughts and the tools and strategies with wonderful souls around the country and around the world! These are all gifts I would just like to continue in the coming year.
Are there challenges in my life? Sure. My job is not the most inspiring and does not make the best use of my talents. The weather where I live is far too cold for my liking. There are miscommunications with those we care about. There are many different challenges. Do I wish for those to continue? Yes, actually I do. It is those that allow us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. They are not always fun, but sometimes there are necessary. They also test our commitment and resolve towards becoming that best version of ourselves. Are you living a life that if it were to continue as it is that you would be grateful? If not, what is standing in the way of that and how can you change it? This holiday season, let us collect our blessings and gratitude and understand they are the greatest gifts of all.
By now everyone should know that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. This quote is a great example why. If you were to stop and think about it, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationships. Think of how much your life is turned upside down when there is a level of discord with someone you care about. On the opposite side, when your relationships are going strong, life is all but unstoppable. Think of when you first fall in love. Nothing seems to bother you or is able to bring you down. There is more on how to maintain that feeling in my upcoming book.
This post is about the blessing that Margie and I have about discovering and maintaining some amazing relationships. This post is actually about one of those relationships in particular. During our time as DJs, we meet a wide array of people. Being the setting that takes place in, most of those relationships do not go much beyond that interaction. Lately, there are, as we are fortunate to have, relationships that blossom into more. People that life puts in your path at the right time and for the right reasons. This is about two of those people – Tanya and Montell.
My only recollection of the first time they came to one of our shows was Margie asking them, “Can we keep you?” Not only are they both very talented singers, but we could just tell they were amazing people as well. Little did we know how right you are. Let us start with Tanya, as it is always gentlemanly to let the lady go first. Tanya has a voice that just won’t quit. It is powerful but full of soul and emotion. Everyone gets excited when she walks in because they know that they are in for a great performance. Being a phenomenal singer is one thing, but in my estimation, that is not the best thing about Tanya.
They were kind enough to invite us over to their house to celebrate Labor Day with them last year. Tanya was the perfect hostess. Their family and friends they had over were all so kind and welcoming. One of the things that we enjoy most about Tanya is the way she can share a story. She uses the perfect blend of honesty and emotion. Her sense of humor and laughter is contagious. In a world where people can show you the side of themselves they think you want to see, Tanya is brave enough to show you her true self. That is so refreshing. She also encourages everyone around her. With her talent it could be tempting to look down on those who may struggle to carry a tune in a bucket. Not Tanya. She encourages them, sings with them and makes them feel welcome, like they belong.
Reading the words above, you might find yourself saying, “That Tanya sure sounds like an amazing woman.” You would be right. It might even be intimidating to be with such an amazing lady, if you were not equally as amazing. That leads us to Tanya’s husband, and I am honored to say our friend, Montell. Let us begin by discussing his ability in the vocal arena. Montell can sing just about any genre. Not only can he do it, but he does it extremely well. More than just vocals, he gets everyone involved. If you are not having a good time while he is singing, he will encourage you until you do. Trust me when I tell you with his enthusiasm and energy, it is very difficult to not be in an amazing mood. Much like his wife, people get excited when they see Montell walk in because they know he is going to lift their spirits.
If I had to pick one word to describe Montell, it would be generous. For simple starters, every time I see this young man, he offers me a beer. We happen to drink the same beer. The fact that he remembered that and brings me over one is very kind indeed. That is not the sole reason that I choose that word for this gentleman. I mentioned earlier how they were kind enough to invite Margie and I over. His generosity with sharing his talent when it comes to preparing amazing food still has my mouth watering when I think of it. On the microphone and in the kitchen are not the only two places this man is both talented and generous. Montell is also one of the kindest and most compassionate men that I have met in a very long time. You can see the care he exhibits toward everyone he meets. What’s more, is that when you talk to Montell you can just tell you are really being heard. In a world where everyone is trying to be heard, having someone who can truly listen is a gift beyond words. He is a kind soul, an example of what a good man should be. It would be a crime not to mention he is one of the most fashionable gents I know as well!
Margie and I are so blessed to know this loving and fabulous couple. They are great singers and performers, that is true. What is more important to us is they are also great parents to their children, great lovers to each other, great friends to all they meet, but most importantly, they are great people that the world needs more of. Today also is Montell’s birthday so Margie and I would like to send a special message of good wishes and good health on his special day. I share this story with you to both show you there still are amazing people in the world and to remind you to count your blessings of true friends. It is a gift not everyone experiences. Margie and I certainly count ourselves blessed that we know Tanya and Montell.
Today’s post is a combination of a lot of great sources. It also contains one of the great secrets to turn your life from one you just have, to one you love. If you are looking for more of these, my book Living the Dream, is full of them. I will leave a link for it at the end of the post. What is great about this strategy is that it is free, anyone can do it, and the more upside down your life seems to be, the better it will work for you. All that is required is a single change in perception. While this is certainly simple, it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of.
The first source of inspiration was my mother. After a nice 3 mile walk through the park, as seen above, we stopped to enjoy an iced coffee. While relaxing and taking in some sun, she mentioned this plaque she had seen. It mentioned something about turning your challenges into blessings. I fail to remember the exact words. This is the great secret. Do not be tempted to discount such a powerful tool. By seeing what we often think of as challenges in life as the blessings they often are, it can change our entire emotional state.
As we discussed this subject, more examples jumped into my mind. This also shows my interest in a vast amount of subjects, but that is for another post. First was Bishop T.D. Jakes. I enjoy a lot of his thoughts, and am currently in the middle of reading one of his books. He said that a lot of people do not open the gifts God has given them because they do not like the wrapping paper. Ponder that for a second. How many times in our life do we reflect on what seems to be a challenge, or even a tragedy, and realize without it, we would not have received some very important good things? To further accent the point, some lyrics also popped into my head. Michael Franti sings a great song called Work Hard and Be Nice to People. One of the lyrics from that song states, “Take all of the lessons, add a little love and turn them into blessings.” With a little love, any situation can be used to help both us and the world around us.
The last example that came to my mind was that of David Blair. He was a British merchant seaman in the early 1900s. He was going to get a big pay day by being part of a crew on a new ship’s first voyage. At the last minute, another ship owned by the same company was held over for repairs. The crew from that ship was transferred to Blair’s ship and our good friend David was told to stay home. He was very mad that he was going to miss the prestige, the pay day and the experience of sailing on this ship. He was stuck on land. The ship he got kicked off of at the last moment? The Titanic. 1500 people lost their life on that ship and no doubt David Blaine would have been one. What looked like bad luck ended up saving his life.
As we can see in these examples, what often seems like misfortune can turn into some of the greatest blessings in our life. We cannot often see it at the time, but it pays to ask the question, “What is the blessing in this challenge?” it can turn the event around, turn your day around and turn your life around. Here is one final example about how bad luck can be good fortune generations later. My Great-grandmother was scheduled to sail over to America on the Titanic. For some reason that has been lost to time, she was unable to. No doubt disappointed at the time, it saved her life. That in turn allowed my life to be and you to be reading this post right now. How many challenges in your life have turned out to be blessings? Â
This picture gives us some great ideas. I don’t think I would trust myself to raise a cup of steaming coffee above my head while laying in bed. That may start the morning out in a not so inspiring fashion. The overall premise here is an important one. As we begin this week, many of us have a feeling of dread over Monday. For many of us it is the first day back to work. It means getting up earlier. It may mean getting children ready for school. It may mean either leaving our loving spouse or having them leave us to head to work. We may not have the income, car or house we want but life still is quite a blessing.
Yes, we may not love our jobs, but we still have one. Imagine how we would feel if we lost that job and were unable to obtain a source of income for several months? How would we feel if we then got that job back? Getting children ready for school may seem like a chore most days, but that means we have healthy children who are recieving a good education and bettering themselves. We are playing an important part in that process. Leaving our loving spouses or watching them leave us to go to work may seem heartbreaking, but that is only because we have someone in our life worth loving. Even not having the house, car and income we want can be a blessing. First of all, we have a place to live, for most of us some form of transportaion and a source of income. That is a blessing in its own right. Knowing that we could have more and desiring such shows that we would like to better ourselves. That is a healthy sign.
Speaking of health, that is perhaps the greatest blessing. When we wake up healthy we can pretty much do anything we desire. Even if our health is somewhat down due to a cold, flu or some other sickness we should be grateful for all of the conditions we do not have as well as the medicines that can cure the ones we do have. Our body itself is an amazing healer and is something to be grateful for.
What about all of the problems we do have? There are two ways to appreciate them as well. How can you possibly appreciate an unexpected medical bills? How can you appreciate the car troubles you have? In two different ways. First, apprecaite all of the growth and strength you will develop facing and rising to meet those challenges. Some growth can be had no other way. Lastly, let us all be grateful for the problems we don’t have. I remember this quote every time I have the urge to complain.
“I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”
This is my condition at present. I have a dislocated shoulder. Although on the surface this really sucks. Ok, maybe slightly deeper than the surface. Still, it is a reminder of the many blessings I have. My friend Bret was grocery shopping, but stopped to come drive me to the hospital. Sadly, due to the pain it wasn’t possible and an ambulance ride was required. In the ambulance staff I met 3 very genuine and caring men. I also discovered one cannot put one’s shoulder back in place without pain medicine. Then at the hospital the ER staff were very caring and courteous. The doctor, managed to get my shoulder back in and talk to me about tacos. Something I guess I did under the influence of the pain medicine I was unaware of.
Even more so, the gratitude group I started online sent so many good thoughts and vibes I am truly overwhelmed. Friends who were not part of the group also set messages of well-being. My lovely lady’s friend drove her to DJ when I couldn’t. The people at the show sent a lot of well wishes for my health and return. Even today when picking up medicine I met some fun people at the pharmacy and received a $25 gift card for bringing my prescription there.
Last, but by no means least is my lovely Margie. She has been making sure I have everything I needed. Even helped me tie my shoe before I left to write this. She even did our DJ show all by herself while I recover. She has drive, love and caring.
The point is that this situation, as unfortunate as it is, has brought to light, and reminded me of the many blessings I sometimes forget to notice as well as many I did not even know where there. They say you can only see the stars when the night is the darkest, and I sure do have a lot of stars that came to shine in this dark period.
There are challenges in this situation to be sure. Try, for example, using the other hand when you use the bathroom. Should be the same right? Not so much. While that is a problem I have to work on by myself, there are plenty others I can ask for help with. Myself, like many of you I am sure, are not big fans of asking for help. We are, however, big fans of giving help to those of our friends who need it. Why is that? It feels good to know we helped someone. I am glad to be able to give that pleasure to those who are helping me now. Not to mention, it gives me an extra chance to show my appreciation not only for their help, but for their friendship.
I would not recommend dislocating your shoulder (trust me this is #3) but if you find yourself in a situation you need help, remember that is a blessing too. Feel free to share some of the blessings you have noticed in your time of need or thank those who have helped you in the comments below.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 