Tag: Belief

THE POWER OF BELIEF

We spent the last few posts discussing the power of gratitude. Today, we are going to discuss another emotion with a great impact in our life. That is the power of belief. What we believe will determine, to a great deal, what we will or will not do in life. If we believe that all charities are scams, we are unlikely to donate money to any cause. If we believe all people in life are out to get something, we may have a hard time accepting compliments as being genuine. You may have not stop to consider how your belief about other people’s motivations could impact your ability to accept compliments about yourself, but you can see how it would impact that.

This post is about another important belief, our belief in ourselves. Do you believe in yourself? Sure, it may have some to do with the situation. My belief in myself when it comes to speaking in front of others is a lot greater than dancing in front of others. For you it might be the exact opposite. What happens when that belief falters? There are two very important steps we can take to help us in just such a situation. This is not mere theory. Just today practicing the second of these steps allowed me to write when I didn’t think I had it in me. We will get to that after discussing the first step.

The first is to keep track of some of the great things we have done in our life. Especially if it involves overcoming any kind of challenge. David Goggins, one of my favorite speakers and authors, calls it the cookie jar. When you are young and you were upset, you could often reach in the cookie jar and pull out a cookie to make you feel better. Sadly, that may only work so well as an adult. The cookie jar we are talking about is the reminders of all that we have accomplished. Often when we think we would be unable to. David Goggins is also an ultra marathon runner. He was asked what he thinks about at mile 50 or mile 75 when his body just wants to give up. This was a question that interested me. Not only in terms of what the hell would you think about after running 75 miles? Also because it is a great metaphor for life. How often can work, family or relationship stress feel like running a 100 mile race? Sometimes running may even sound easier than what we are going through. Our belief in ourself may come into question. Perhaps the task is seemingly insurmountable or we have already made some terrible mistake? Then what? We need to go into that cookie jar in our brain and pull out one of those ‘cookies’ of our past accomplishments. When we overcame the odds or accomplished something great. We need to remind ourselves how awesome we are.

The second thing that is important to do is to surround ourselves with people who also believe in us. Sometimes we just can’t reach the cookie jar and we need someone else to reach inside and hand us a cookie. The more they know and care about us, the better they are able to do this. It is another great reason to put in the work to build and grow your relationships. It will come back to serve you as well. I promised you a personal example of this. The people in the two pictures above are myself and my lovely lady. I am the one with the facial hair in case you are still confused. We have been together going on 12 years. Just yesterday, I took her on a date. Why am I still dating my lady after 12 years? Here is why. Today I was having a bad case of writer’s block. I messaged her to tell her. Her response? “I believe in you. You are always so smart and patient.” Those few words gave me the belief in myself to write several blogs, including the very one you are reading. Having someone to believe in you when you are doubting yourself is not only a great gift, but why a relationship is a great responsibility. It is also why a beautiful sweet lady is one of the greatest gifts and one that I treasure.

Believing in ourselves allows to accomplish far more than if we doubt ourself. Taking these two steps can help us either develop or improve that belief. Keeping a ‘mental cookie jar’ of our accomplishments and fostering our relationships with those who do believe in us will help keep us going. As I was writing this, a new self-improvement tool popped into my head. It will be in the upcoming book, but you will hear it hear first. It may not be a bad idea to keep an actual cookie jar and write down your accomplishments to put in there. When we need that emotional ‘cookie’, it can be hard to come up with. Especially if we are in a negative emotional state. Having written examples of them will take the thinking part out of the equation and still help our belief in ourself. This certainly isn’t necessary, but does make the process a lot easier and more effective. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you add these two steps to your life to improve the belief you have in yourself. Use that belief to accomplish the greatness that is inside of you.

HOW TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELF

This quote is not only amusing, it is also very powerful! We may chuckle when we read it, but it does force us to confront a certain reality. That reality is often the smallest things can create the biggest changes. Think of Covid. That was a virus. Something so small it could not even be seen. Still, this small thing changed the entire world! It is not always a mosquito or virus. The same can be true with things in the positive. Think of how people change just by adopting one new habit. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator or giving up soda or alcohol. These are just one little habit, yet they create a big change in people.

Just as a mosquito is a seemingly small and insignificant creature, it can sure create an issue. A while back I shared a story about an employee at the coffee shop I write at. She came in on her off day and proceeded to hand out roses to every woman present. A nice, but not that grand gesture. I cannot be sure how it affected the other women, but I know it gave my mom a great deal of joy. Not sure how many flowers she handed out, or the cost of each individual one, but each one gave joy to the life of the person who received it.

You can do the same. You do not have to hand out flowers. It can be a smile, or a genuine compliment. What may seem insignificant to you can be nothing short of magic to the person receiving it. You, my dear reader, are keeper of magic beyond your imagination. With social media, YouTube and the closeness of the globe, you can impact lives with not only your actions, but your example. Are you striving to better yourself in the new year? Those watching can draw strength and motivation for you. Believe in yourself and your power to make a difference. You can give someone hope, peace and joy. That is nothing short of magic.

MOST DANGEROUS FORM OF BLINDNESS

This is one of those post that do not seem like should have to be written. For most of you reading a site like this, they don’t. Not that long ago a coworker was lamenting to me the difference between two religious groups. “Why can’t the one just understand their religion is the wrong one?” he asked. You may already guess which group his beliefs line up with. I inquired if it had ever occurred to him that the other group may just as fairly ask the same question. “No, of course not because their beliefs are wrong.” He made this statement while looking at me as if I was being willfully ignorant. When I encountered as to why his beliefs were correct and they other group was not, he said because his religion said so.

I would imagine whatever faith you belong to, they have a vested interest in convincing you that it is the one true religion. It is certainly ok for someone to think and have a strong conviction that is the case. What is not fair is to go around judging others who feel the same about their beliefs. If we do our research, I am sure there are belief systems that are older than ours. There are ones that may be followed by more people. Our faith is largely determined by our geographic location and that of our ancestors. It would make sense that people who live in a different part of the world may have different beliefs. Do you know what? That is ok. As long as we teach our children, both by words and actions, that treating all people with dignity and respect is what matters most.

Do not be blind to the fact that others have an equal right to have a belief and conviction in their faith as do we. It very well might be different and that is ok as well. What is not ok is to treat each other harshly or even violently over those differences. You can have respectful differences and still love your neighbor. That is part of what being the best version of yourself is all about.

HOW TO FIX THE WORLD 🌎

There is a lot of apprehension in the hearts of many people. It seems there is a great deal of concern that people with little care or concern to treat others with dignity and respect have been put in positions of power. As someone who has made it their life mission to leave the world a little better place than I found it, I can totally understand this. We were taught as children to respect each other, including those we differ with. We were taught that it is right to disagree with someone in a respectful fashion. Even on the elementary school playground we were taught that it was not nice to call people names just because they were different or held different opinions than us. Hopefully, these are the same lessons that we taught our children.

It is therefore understandable to be concerned when those who are supposed to be examples do the very opposite of this. Will the world become less caring and callous? I would be lying if I would tell you that some less-informed souls may view this as permission to act that way in their own lives. What can we do about all of this? Surprisingly, quite a bit. It is easy to feel hopeless and despondent about the whole thing. The more constructive action would to be to intensify our acts of kindness and compassion. Recently, I wrote a letter to the Dalai Lama, who is a master at teaching compassion. If you want any lessons on how to stay compassionate in an often cruel world, I recommend listening to some of his talks. Many are available on YouTube.

Many people view this solution as ridiculous or think of themselves too small to make that big of a difference. Nothing could be further from the truth. Let me break this down for you. How many people on average to you interact with on a daily basis? If you work in retail, this could be close to 100. Even if you don’t, you probably run into at the very least 10. Let’s just say 20 as an average. If you do your best to treat everyone you contact with kindness and compassion, maybe even say a few empowering words to them, do you think that would make a difference? What difference would 20 people make in a world of 8 billion? Let us do the math. 20 people a day, on average, for every day of the year equals 7300 people. If we went for the person in retail who sees 100 people a day, that number goes up to 36,500! Can you see the power we hold? You could be a beacon of hope for so many people. An example of goodness in the world. A reason to believe.

If only 20 retail employees did what we are discussing, that would bring us close to a million people shown kindness and compassion. When you add words of empowerment, that could be a million lives you positively impact. What do you think those people would go on to do? You can see the power of the ripple effect here. It works in reverse too. If one person decides they are too insignificant to make a difference, that is between 7300 and 36,500 people who will be negatively affected. Do you see the power your one example can make? What if you are a teacher? A boss or a leader of some other fashion? The impact of everyone makes a huge difference. Do not let an election or a sometimes hard world make you believe otherwise.

3 WORD VIBE FOR MONDAY 3️⃣

“I got this!” Let that be our mantra today. Just three words to remind us that things are not as serious as they may seem. That despite how dire the circumstances may seem, we can overcome them with determination mixed with a little faith.

Whatever the challenge may be, look it straight in the eye and say, “I got this!” Notice the exclamation point at the end of the mantra. This is not one you are going to want to say meekly. Whether it is in your head, under your breath, or at the top of your lungs, say it with some passion and belief!

How many times have you doubted yourself on the ability to make it through a situation? How many times have you actually made it through? Here’s a hint, you’re reading this so you are still here. That means you have made it through 100% of the situations you have faced in life up to this point.

Today, and throughout the week, when facing a tough situation declare these three words, “I got this!” Notice I said declare. Not mention, whisper or say questioningly. Nope. Declare and know that you have made it through 100% of the things life has thrown at you. Whatever you are facing is just one more thing, that despite how tough it may look, will not bring you down!

STOP INSULTING THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU. 🛑

This quote is new to me, but the idea is not. When I am having a hard time staying committed to the actions that will improve my life, such as going to the gym on a cold raining morning, I think of those who believe in me. There are days that I do not feel I have the energy to write these blogs, but I think of all the encouraging comments I have received from all around the globe. These wonderful friends believe in me, I do not want to let them down. It can be hard to believe in ourselves. It can often be easier to think of those who do believe in us and let their belief carry us through until we can develop belief of our own.

One of the greatest motivations is pride. When you look in the mirror, do you like the person looking back at you? Sure, they might not be perfect, but if they are working their butt off to improve, you have to be proud. Sometimes, that feeling of pride isn’t enough. Then what? I will tell you what works for me. It might work for you. I think of all the important people in my life. When I do not want to work out, I think about giving Margie a man she can be proud of. Not only one that is in shape, but one that is disciplined to stick to his commitments, even when the motivation to do so has long since departed. When I do not feel like working on my blogs or books, I think of being the kind of son that will make my mother proud.

When we cease to make life all about ourselves, and stop and consider the people who love and believe in us, we can have all the motivation we need to tackle any challenge. Next time you are facing an obstacle, whether it is wanning motivation or something more concrete, think of who you would be letting down if you quit. To me, it is what keeps me going long after doing it for myself would have quit.

A QUICK REMINDER ON YOUR SECRET POWER

THIS IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE POWER OF FOCUS. “WHATEVER THE MIND OF MAN CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE” WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSED ON? DO YOU BELIEVE IT WILL COME TRUE FOR YOU IN TIME?

I SUGGEST THAT WHILE WE WORK ON ACHIEVING ANY WORTHWHILE GOAL, WE ALSO WORK ON INCREASING OUR FOCUS AND BELIEF. BY DOING SO, THE ACHIEVEMENT WILL COME QUICKER AND WITH LESS EFFORT. WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND DOING TO INCREASE FOCUS AND BELIEF? SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

GROWING SPIRITUALLY, CHANGING PHYSICALLY


This post comes courtesy of a conversation I had with a friend I had not seen in a long time. After exchanging the usual “Hello how are you?” I informed the gentleman he looked healthy and good. It was an honest assertation. There seemed to be more of a content look about him. It was his response that inspired this post.
“I’m good.” the young man replied. “I’m going through some stuff and when you change spiritually, you change physically.” That quote is what we are going to discuss today. If you look at the picture above it will give you a good analogy as to what spiritual growth is like. When a snake reaches a point of growth that its current skin can no longer contain, that skin is shed. For a while during this process the snake looks as if it is literally falling apart. As it is making its transition bits of skin will cling to its body until they are rubbed off revealing a shining ‘new’ snake. After sometime the snake’s skin becomes dull and the process is repeated. Another interesting fact I discovered while doing research for this post is that this process occurs six or seven times the first year and then can slow down to once a year or less.
This process is not much different than human spiritual development. When we are beginning to grow spiritually, or shed the skin of our old beliefs, we can appear as if we are coming undone. Often, there is a lack of sleep, a look of uncertainty and a general physical dishevelment. Until, at last, you achieve a look of inner peace and balance such as this man had. That is not to say everything is perfect in your life, but that you have come to peace with who you are and how that impacts your life. There are many who may not appreciate the look of the shiny new snake, especially those who have not grown to the same state you are at, or those who consider your growth a threat to themselves or your relationship with them. Sometimes it is necessary to leave them behind much like the skin the snake sheds.
Another interesting parallel was the rate of change. Much like the snakes who shed several times in the beginning of life and then do so at a reduced rate as their life progresses, we humans grow the same spiritually. As young children we absorb knowledge like a sponge. learning and taking in new ideas and beliefs at a rate that is surprising. As we grow older our learning is balanced with responsibilities and our attachment to our beliefs. Our willingness to change them slows. This is not always a bad thing, but that means our spiritual growth can take a lot longer, but it is also a lot more dramatic.
It would be great if all of us as adults could take a few weeks off of work, travel to India and meditate and study with the Dalai Lama, or whatever other spiritual adventure calls us. We could spend a few weeks shedding the skin of our outdated beliefs and emerge with a fresh and healthy new perspective. Instead, most of us have to balance spiritual growth with work, social and family obligations and a general lack of time to pursue them. This can lead us looking like we, and our lives, are totally falling apart as we feel that everything inside is beginning to fall in place.
Remember this snake analogy when you are either witnessing someone going through their spiritual rebirth, and especially when you are going through your own. As you develop new and empowering beliefs they may not fit into your current modalities. This can seem like your life is forever trying to put a round peg in a square hole. This is not only because you have changed, but because there may be things in your life that no longer serve who you are as a person. This is also life’s way of initially testing your commitment to your new beliefs. Hang in there as soon you will too reveal the shiny new more empowered you underneath the skin of the beliefs you have outgrown.

THE BIRTH OF BELIEF


Here is the latest issue of See Beyond magazine. It is a informative and fabulous issue filled with great articles. March is dedicated to Women’s Month, but there is something for every gender inside. My article, The Birth of Belief can be found on page 34. It is a great look at how some of my philosophies of life developed, but more importantly, it is a great look at our legacy and what we can do to make sure we leave behind a legacy worthy of us. I encourage you to take a look and let me know what you feel about it.


After you have finished reading the article, I invite you to scroll to the back of the magazine and read the tremendous review of my book that can be found there. All together See Beyond is a magazine that offers inspiration and many different perspectives. I am honored to be a part of it, and wish to thank Aura, the Publisher, Stefanie, the editor-in-chief as well as Rachel, one of the amazing artists in See Beyond. Working with these creative and talented ladies is something I am grateful for not only during Women’s Month, but each time our paths cross.
Click the link below to be taken to the magazine and appreciate all that it has to offer. I look forward to hearing how this amazing publication has touched your heart!

CLICK HERE TO READ THE LATEST ISSUE OF SEE BEYOND

YOUR BELIEF CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

The man in the picture above is Roger Bannister. For those of you who do not know who he is, allow me to share his story and how it applies to you and me. From the time humans began inhabiting the earth until 1954 it was the accepted medical belief that the human body physically could not move at a speed faster than a 4-minute mile. On May 6th, 1954 Roger Bannister broke that record with a time of 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds.

While that is a cool story it is not what we are going to be looking at today. What is interesting is that fact that since that record was broken, over 20,000 people have run a sub 4-minute mile. This total also includes high school kids. How did that happen? Did the human race suddenly become faster all around the world? The obvious answer to that question is no. So what changed? Every runner prior to that fateful day in 1954 walked up to the starting line with the belief that it was not possible to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. Every runner after that day was blessed with the belief that it indeed was possible.

Do you see the difference that a change in belief can bring? For thousands of years nobody ran a mile faster than 4 minutes. Yet, in the 60 or so years since that was proved possible 20,000 people have done it! All it took was one person to not listen to the ‘facts’ of the day. That changed the world forever.

What beliefs are limiting today’s world? Let me share a personal story with you. I firmly believed that I would never accomplish all that I have done. Can a person who almost did not pass high school English class, who was in fact told by the teacher, “I pray you will never have a career in writing.” Go on to write and publish 2 books, create a blog with over 1000 posts and followers in over 100 countries on 6 continents? Can that same person create a YouTube channel that along with live seminars, can help people improve their lives all across the globe? I would never think so, but I did it.

How did I overcome my limiting beliefs to accomplish all of this? One of the main reasons is that I am blessed with an amazing and beautiful soul to share my life with. My lovely lady Margie not only believes in me and the work that I am doing, but pushes me to improve both professionally and personally. I never would have believed that there was another soul in this world who could balance being both encouragement and accountability. If you told me that on top of those two amazing skills she would be the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and being caring, creative and driven in her own right, I would find that extremely hard to believe. If you told me she would fall in love with me and we would share a life filled with many adventures that we faced hand in hand, I would have never believed you. All of that has come true, leaving me to often wonder how so many of my beliefs could be overcome.

What are some of your limiting beliefs? Is there someone in your life that supports and believes in you? Do you, like Roger Bannister, have the strength to not listen to the critics and maybe even the scientific facts of the day? What are some beliefs that could change the world if proven wrong? History is full of people who denied conventional wisdom to defy the odds and change the world. If someone tells you something cannot be done, remember Roger Bannister, the Wright brothers and countless others who would not give up until they were proven right.