In working in fields that are highly social it is interesting to note how many perfectly amazing people allow themselves to be held hostage by the opinions of others. While it is ok to value the opinions of others, it is important to put greater importance on what we think of ourselves. I am not talking about conceit or arrogance. For deep down, those souls seem to have the lowest opinions of themselves. I am not talking about treating others harshly or that they are less than you. If you are a person that acts like that, could you honestly have a great self-image?
What we are talking about is a healthy respect for the person in the mirror. You have good qualities. What are they? Yes, you have flaws and it is important to really own them too. By doing so it will allow you to know what you have to work on. While you are working on it, know that each day you will improve a little more. Give yourself some patience as well. Saying such things as “I know I am not where I need to be with my _____ but I am working on it and getting better each and every day.” This can do wonders.
For reasons that are completely beyond my understanding there are those who live for nothing other than to point out others faults and shortcomings. Perhaps it is to deal with their own deep-seated insecurities. Perhaps they just feel bad about where they are in life and this helps them deal with it. Maybe they even made a deal with the devil. Who knows and who cares? It is hurtful when they do so. We must remember that what people say about us speaks more about them than it does about us. This may matter little when someone puts us down in public, but that is where a healthy amount of self-love can help.
When we are honest about who we are and can find ways to love ourselves despite what people may view as negatives, the insults of others lose their power. I have heard people put down for their height, weight, lack of hair, over abundance of hair and a million other things. They can sting and again I encourage all of us to focus on complimenting people on their strengths, for we all need to hear that more. It is getting to the point of not relying on the opinions of others, whether good or bad, that will give us true freedom.
Let us start loving ourselves more today. Whether that is through affirmations, therapy, writing down what we love about each other or just working harder towards our goals, let us all increase the love we have for the person we see in the mirror every morning. When we realize what a challenge this can be after years of neglect, negative self-talk and opinions of others, we may more inclined to point out the good in others and overlook their faults.