Tag: autobiography

YOU NEED TO SHARE IT!

This past Saturday I took part in an event that featured several different authors. Above is a picture of me talking to one of them. These events are always fun and enlightening. Talking with other authors, we all discover we share some of the same struggles and can support one another. At this particular event, another great aspect of the benefits of writing was on display – sharing your story. There are not words strong enough to convey my desire to have everyone share their story. It is such a gift in so many ways. We have discussed a few of them in past posts and I will provide a quick reminder here. It helps those that read it know and feel they are not alone. No matter how uniquely crazy your situation feels, I can guarantee there is someone out there going through something very similar if not the same. It also helps share and provide a record of mistakes you may have made and helps others avoid them. If it is too late for that, it may help them see how you made your way out of it. Sharing your story helps to foster a sense of community in whatever group you are writing about. With technology, that community can even be global!

Those benefits, as great as they are, do not come close to completing the list of benefits you can get from sharing your story. Here is what I heard at this event. There was an author who lost her husband suddenly and unexpectedly. She was left with 3 children to raise and a host of challenges. One of which was just managing to go on after losing the person she loved most in the world. How do you manage to love your life after a moment like that? She managed to do it and shared how she did it in her book. Another author lost her child. That is devastating to any parent. In addition to having to heal from her own pain, she had to explain what happened to her other children. How can you possibly do both of those? She did and she wrote a book that will help other parents who may tragically find themselves in the same situation. A third author has 3 autistic children. One who also has hearing and vision challenges. While doing her best to raise them, she is often judged harshly by those around her who are ignorant to her struggles. One time even having the police called on her. How does she manage to stay sane and raise her children? What struggles does a parent in that situation go through? She is going to write a book about that.

In this case, writing was a great form of therapy for all of these authors. It helped them heal and by sharing their journey, it will help others do the same. We may be fortunate enough not to have events like these occur in our life. I can promise you we have all faced some struggle. Job loss, relationship loss or a host of other challenges. Sharing our story and our journey with others is both a gift to them and to us. When we share our story with the world, it is the world that benefits. Unless you are some sort of extraterrestrial, which would make a great book, that world includes you! When we share, everyone, including ourselves, wins.

What if you are not a writer? That is fine. Everyone is not a reader. You can share your story through music, painting, sculpting or whatever medium you decide. Today, you can make your own videos to share on a variety of platforms. You could start a blog. You can start your own podcast and talk to people that way. These are all great because people consume in different ways. Some people listen to podcasts. Some of us read blogs. Some of us watch videos. Some of us still read books. Some of us do several or all of these. That is why it is so important to share your story in whatever form makes you comfortable.

Share your story. When you do we all win.

WHAT IS YOUR STORY?😕

One of my favorite exercises to have people do is to write their own eulogy. I feel it helps people get clear, often for the first time in their lives, what kind of person they want to be remembered as. It also makes it pretty clear if there are on track to be remembered as that kind of person. Going forward, it gives them a pretty good set of self-enforced guidelines. If you know what kind of person you would like to be remembered as, are the actions you are taking going to lead to that? If not, change them. If so, do them more often. It makes life simple and helps steer the rudder of our ship of life, if you will.

There are many people who have an issue with this exercise, or in some cases flat out refuse to do it. They have a hard time getting past the death part. Les Brown said it best, that you can’t get out of life alive. He also said, “Most people die at 25, but don’t get buried until they are 65.” Death is a natural part of life, but I do not want someone’s fear of it to get in their way of success. It is just this thought that I was pondering, along with what the subject of my fifth book will be, when the answer to both questions came to me!

Let me ask you a question that I really want you to think about. If you were to write your autobiography, that is the story of your life, what would the title be? I have been encouraged to write one myself. The best title I could come up with is The Amazing Life of an Ordinary Man. I will explain that in a future post. What I want to plant in your mind is the seed of what story you will leave behind. Will it be one of someone who inspired others or who was only out for their own gain? Will it be of someone who gave or someone who was always looking to take? A “What is in it for me?” sort of attitude. Let me give a clue to those people. As Denzel Washington once said, “I have never seen a U-Haul behind a hearse.” You can’t take it with you. Think of the title of your story. How will it read? Even if you find yourself down and out at the moment, that can be where your story changes. How many of us like to go to a movie or read a book where the main character rises up from the ashes to achieve a level of greatness? The story wouldn’t be as good without the struggle.

Want to take this exercise a step further to help improve your life even more? Imagine someone else was writing your biography, what would they say? What would they title it? Notice how this will be different with each person you think of. If you want to be the best spouse you can be, imagine your better half is about to begin work writing your life story. You certainly would not want them to say you were an inattentive lover. You wouldn’t want to read that you were emotionally unavailable. You want to read how you made their heart sing. You want to read that you made them feel safe both physically and emotionally. Ok, if that is what you want to read, what actions can you take to make that the story? How about if your children were going to write your biography? What would they say about you? Are there ways you could improve that story? Take those actions now.

Think about your own autobiography. Is it what you want it to be so far? If not, what actions can you take to change that? I would start with this first. Then when you are comfortable that you are on track to live the story you would want to write, think of others. What would your spouse write? Your children? Your friends? What actions could you take to make their story one that would make you proud. This should be a fun and insightful exercise. I would love to hear about your experience.