There are so many addictions out there. I do my best to make sure I am not addicted to too many things. I even give up caffeine 1 month a year. For an author that also works 60 hours a week, that’s kind of a big deal.
I confess to being addicted to making feel people feel good. Nothing lights me up more than knowing I made someone else’s life better! I’m addicted to the desire to make the world a better place. When my ears are filled with negative news, as happens to many of us, my mind immediately asks,”How can I do something to make the world better. “
That leads us to avoiding the addictionmentioned in the photo above – destination addiction! The thought that you will be happy ‘when’. When certain goals are achieved. When the weight is lost. When the addiction is overcome. We should be as addicted to the journey. Feeling the joy of life as it happens.
We spend 80% of lifeon the journey. Why only be happy 20% of the time?Sure, you can’t run a marathon, but did you notice you don’t get out of wind walking up a flight of stairs? You don’t fit in your favorite jeans, but maybe there is a little more room in your current ones?
One of the best examples to me is the brave people overcoming addiction. They are a great reminder that victory happens one day at a time. Every day is a new battle, but that means every day is a new chance at victory! Celebrate the journey. Celebrate the fact you have made it one more day. Do not become addicted to the destination!
This picture is great! Obviously a point about focus. You may be thinking, like I was, “Not me! I appreciate what Ihave!” Then I took another look at the picture and thought what I would do if someone handed me a cake with one slice missing. What would you do? Can you imagine going to the store buying a cake with one slice gone? What about a slice of cake? A lot less, but if someone handed you a slice of cake, you would not ask where the rest of the cake went.
People are a little like the cake. Most are not as sweet, but the theory is the same. If someone shared a lot with you, but kept one part of their life secret, we would feel like we were missing something. Like the cake with a slice missing. Yet, if someone were to share just a little with us, we would feel like they were giving us something a little special. Just like a slice of cake.
I live with the most beautiful baker, trust me when I tell you I know a thing or 2 about cake! Whether we are given a little, or a lot with just one thing missing we should appreciate what we have. Changing focus will take us from expectation to appreciation! Imagine how that could change your life!
I have been waiting to have the time to sit down and write this post. Thank you for stopping in today at Secret2anamazinglife.com. Throughout our over 10 year run, the topic that comes up the most is gratitude. Some of you may even be rolling your eyes at the thought of yet another post about gratitude. The reason we post so much about this subject is that I firmly believe in order to change your life, you have to change your mindset. There is nothing that works with more speed and impact to change your mindset than gratitude.
In my 2 decades of work in the self-improvement field, I have shared this opinion to everyone who would listen. It is what changed my life for the better, and still does. If you use it, I promise it will do the same for you. What most people struggle with is believing that gratitude can do all of this, and how to use it in their own life. They think of people who are constantly preaching the gospel of gratitude as people who go through life ‘wearing rose-colored glasses’. That is not what true gratitude is about at all.
It is not believing that there is no weeds in the garden. Gratitude is realizing that in addition to the weeds, and sometimes in spite of them, wonderful plants and flowers bloom. It is also not just focusing on the plants and pretending there is no weeds. It is working on the weeds while caring for the plants. In case this metaphor is not perfectly clear, we will spell it out. The weeds are the challenges, or what is wrong in life. The plants and flowers represent what is right and good in our world. Just as a garden is rarely, if ever, free of weeds, our life is rarely if ever free of challenges. We must work on overcoming our challenges, while still being grateful for all that is good. You would not give up on a garden because there are a few weeds. You should not give up on life because there are challenges.
Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the best things you can do for your life. It does not mean that you are denying or ignoring the challenges in life. You are making the bold stand that there is beauty in, and that life is worth while despite the challenges. It is often in the challenges that the true beauty and reasons to be grateful can be found.
Here is something that can make a dramatic difference in your life. Waking up in a good mood. Have you ever given that much thought? Has it ever occurred to you that you have a choice as to what kind of mood you do wake up in? I wake up at 4am six days a week. Margie is always amazed that even on very little sleep I tend to wake up in a good mood. It wasn’t always this way and yes, there is a secret to it. Before I share what that secret is, ask yourself what waking up in a good mood could do for you? Waking up in a determined state instead of reacting to what the world throws at you. Deciding your own emotional state instead of leaving it up to the fate of others or outside circumstances.
This will allow you to do a great many things you would not be able to if you did not control your own emotional state. You will decrease your stress levels and the hormones related to it. This can minimize your risk for heart attacks and high blood pressure. That is pretty important. You will also be less reactive. When we are already stressed, even the smallest things can set us off. When we face a challenge beginning in a good emotional state, we are better equipped to make intelligent decisions. We will also be less likely to be left with consequences we will regret. Less stressed and generally more full of joy means our immune systems will be stronger. That means less colds and flu. To the very obvious, life is a lot more enjoyable.
By now you should be sold on the benefits of waking up in a good mood, but how do you do it? It is easier than you think and not complicated at all. It starts the night before. What you think of the last five minutes before sleep is what your subconscious mind will focus on while you are sleeping. If you go to sleep dreading the alarm the next morning, or fretting over all the problems you had that day, that focus will only cause those situations to grow. Give yourself a break and focus on what you have to be grateful for. It could be the fact you have a place to sleep. It could be the person next to you or the cat or dog at the end of the bed. Instead of dreading going to work, be thankful you are employed. Many are not. This is why reading something inspiring before bed helps. If you keep a gratitude journal, reviewing it before bed makes it that much more powerful.
When you do wake up, even if you have very little time to yourself, you can still set yourself up for success. Did I mention that I wake up at 4am? I often have very little time to get ready and get to work on time. The main reason is that I have a hard time leaving a warm bed with a hot lady inside of it. Instead of being upset I have to do that, I am grateful I have that. Then, near my bed and all of the places I am sure to go in the morning, such as the coffee maker, I have reminders of things that I am grateful for or that bring me joy. Pictures of loved ones or fun vacations. A well-placed inspirational quote can help your focus. Even reading your favorite motivational and inspirational blog, Secret2anamazinglife.com, can start your day out right. A little bit of light physical movement to get the heart pumping helps. If you have a mantra or an inspiring saying you enjoy? Try repeating it to yourself as you get ready. Place inspiring quotes or images on the bathroom mirror to look at while you brush your teeth.
These are but some of the ways that you can assure you wake up ready to take on the world and be a blessing to those around you. I would love to hear any tips you can offer on how to start your day off filled with joy and inner peace.
Last post to celebrate 1000 posts on this site, we discussed what actions would make the greatest difference. Two of the most important were fostering an attitude of gratitude and sowing the seeds of what you wish to reap. I have done my best to practice this is the last 1000 days. I do my best to make sure each post does a little bit to uplift, inspire and educate all of those who read it. We discussed how actions of kindness and compassion are great seeds to sow that will come back to fill your world with kindness. Little did I know that I was foretelling my future!
Margie had told me she was going to take me out to celebrate 1000 posts and my dedication to writing them everyday. Little did I know, her and my mother worked together to gather some of my closest friends to help me celebrate. I could not have been happier. Last post I discussed the importance of making sure you surround yourself with great people that will encourage you and lift you up. I certainly have! What a great blessing all of these friends are!
I also had a separate section to say how grateful I was for Margie and how much she has added to my life. This is one example where I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation. Not only did she have me feeling these emotions, but her, along with our friends and family, have me excited to bring my fourth book to publication. Last post was advice to plant seeds of kindness and compassion. It was a reminder to surround yourself with amazing people. Today is evidence and proof that it does indeed come back to you. With abundance at that. I am so grateful for everyone that came out, or sent their thoughts and wishes last night!
Today is the 999th day in a row we have posted content on this website. That means tomorrow is day 1000! It was an arbitrary goal set almost 3 years ago. When it was set, there were no thoughts of how long that actually was. Simple math could have shown it was a lot more of a journey than it seemed.
Some of the challenges faced in maintaining this content were vacation in the Bahamas. Yes, that doesn’t sound like much of an obstacle. Let me tell you, when you have to write before you can try the buffet or swim in turquoise water, it is a challenge. There of course were health challenges. Allergies, a cold, a Dislocated shoulder to name a few. There were also times I had no idea what to write about.
That is why it is so important to surround yourself with people who not only encourage and assist you with your goal, but hold you accountable to it. A debt is owed to so many. My friends Maryand Eduardo who are so kind as to share these posts on their social media. My mother who shares ideas of subjects she would like to hear discussed.This is very helpful. Everyone who engagesthrough comments, likes and other manners. Even my friends in the great country of Greenland who give me other goals to reach.
A very special amount of gratitude to this lovely lady, my fiancee Margie.She not only provides the occasional idea for me to write about, but puts up with all of my crazy thoughts as a writer. She also does her best to make sure I get enough rest, and keeps my belly full of delicious food.
Each one of these amazing people helped this site reach 1000 days in a row of content. Without them, it would have been far more difficult, if not impossible. No great feat is accomplished alone. After tomorrow, I look forward to settingmy sights on the next horizon. I would be honored if all of you would join us as we continue to help each other become the best version of ourselves and discover the secrets to an amazing life.
One of the things that every child seems to remember is a grandparent telling them the same story again and again. They tell it with such enthusiasm and gusto forgetting that they told it to you last time they saw you. This is not only true with stories told to children and not only by elderly adults. It can happen in many friendships and even with coworkers.
This can lead to frustration and on a rare occasion, anger. “How can they not remember they told me that story countless times before?” We think to ourselves. That’s the problem here. We are only seeing one side of the equation. I think if we do our best to look at it from their perspective, we will create joy, or at least a lot less frustration.
Do you recall in the beginning of this post how I described the joy and enthusiasm in which they told the story? Often, their eyes light up and you can see a faraway lol in their eyes as they are transported back to the time of their tale. Let them have this joy. Be glad that they are experiencing it through you.
Life is far too short. Before you know it, they are gone and all we have left is the memory of that story. “I would give anything to hear them tell that annoying story again. ” we catch ourselvessaying. Enjoy it while we can. Celebrate that joy and stories we share.
It is indeed a great gift to let someone know how much you appreciate them being in your life. How often do we do this? You deserve the great feeling of making someone feel appreciated. If we are being honest, we all have quirks that can make us a challenge to be around on any given day. Myself included. Therefore, our true friends deserve the feeling of appreciation for all they do, and all they put up with.
The cool thing about making people feel appreciated is that it is a win/win situation. As we described above, you both get that feel good emotions, but there is even more. In today’s world of technology, the ways you can convey this message are endless. You can of course get together for dinner or a cup of coffee and convey it personally. That is the most heartfelt. If this feels a bit awkward at first, there are a million other options.
You can send someone a text. Maybe a message on social media? You could even post something on their social media page so everyone knows how much you appreciate them. One of the most unique ways is to sendthem a greeting card in the mail. For the price of that cup of coffee, you can purchase a card and stamp and send them some well wishes. The great thing about sending a message this way is that it is there in black and white. They can review it over and over again. Bringing joy to their hearts several times.
Is there someone in your life you really appreciate? How could you tell them? You could even choose multiple options. You could also send appreciation to several people. This practice will dramatically improve your life and theirs! Again, it is a win/win situation.
Today is international women’s day! Time to celebrate all of those amazing ladies in your life. It can be family, spouse,friends, best friends, soul friends or any special woman in your life. I have been blessed to surround myself with so many smart, creative and wonderful women who have made my life better. In going to take a second to celebrate just a few, but know there are so many more and i appreciate you all!
First, in the picture above is my mother. Mothers are so important it only makes sense to celebrate them as often as we can. My mother and I do a great many things together. We go for walks, coffee and do the occasional 5k. She also gives me feedback on my writing! I’m very grateful to have her.
There is of course Margie, the love of my life. I could, and have done an entire post about all of the amazing things she brings to my life. On top of that, she is an amazing mother herself. Choosing the right partner can make all of the difference in life. That is why I am soexcited to have her become Mrs.Neil next year!
Above are some truly amazing women. My sister Michelle! Margie’s daughter Siraya with whom she has started a business. My good friends Lisa, Sara,Jenny and my soul friend Shannon! All of which have added a lot to my life.
Special shout out to the wonderful women who read this blog. I would love to hear from you and where you are from. Feel free to show your pride in the comments below. Don’t forget to give appreciation to the women in your life today. I would suggest continuing it every day!
This is an interesting thought. So many people are talking about gratitude and its power to change life. What is ironic is that most people have an interesting definition of what gratitude really is. This was brought home when I was listening to the audiobook, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne the other morning. She said how if people asked her years ago if she was a grateful person she would have told them that she was. Her justification for that answer is that she always thanked people for a gift, or for opening the door for her. When we speak of gratitude here, or when you hear about the power of gratitude, it is far more than that.
Despite what we may have been told growing up, or even what we think currently, thanking people when they do nice things for us is not living gratefully. It is actually just really good manners. There is nothing wrong with that. If we want to discover the true power of gratitude, it has to involve more than that. True gratitude cannot be conditional. A few posts back we discussed how I was choosing to focus on what I had to be grateful for in my life despite the challenges I have currently been experiencing. In doing so, it has help me feel good and enjoy my life so much more. That is the power of gratitude.
How about you? Are you only grateful when conditions give you something to be grateful for? Here is a secret. There is always a condition to be grateful for. Gratitude, like much of life, is a decision. When you want to feel grateful, just look around. There are so many things in our life that we take for granted that we should be so grateful for. Our health for one. Going to work on a Monday morning can be tough, but doing so with a cold is even tougher. We can dread work or be thankful we do not have to deal with a cold while working. Things like sanitation, communication, entertainment choices we have, clean water, a place to live and a million other things. One of the best ways to appreciate things you take for granted is to have them taken away from you. It is rare you will hear someone who used to be homeless complaining about the color of their kitchen walls.
Even in the terrible situation of losing something, we can be grateful that it is bringing to our attention things we might have taken for granted. Even that is something to be grateful for. Here is another secret to an amazing life. Feeling grateful feels amazing! The more we feel grateful, the better the quality of our life will be. Do yourself a favor and start to work on developing an attitude of gratitude today!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 