Many of you know how important being grateful is to an amazing life. We will skip the new-age metaphysical aspects of this, although they are important, and stick with practical reasons this is so. When you focus on what you have to be grateful for, you are on the lookout for just that, things to be grateful for. It stands to reason that if you are looking for them, you are more likely to find them. What would happen if you started seeing more things to be grateful for? Your life would feel more amazing. That makes sense, does it not?
Another thing to consider is when you express those feelings of gratitude. When you let the person helping you at the coffee shop know that they are appreciated. How do you think your service will be next time? When you come in they will think to themselves, “There is the person who said they appreciated me.” If you know you are appreciated, how will that make you act? You will probably want to do more for someone who appreciates you than someone who does not. Imagine how this could work with your friends, or even more so with your romantic partner? The more you appreciate them, which will make them feel good, the more they will feel like doing things to be appreciated. This exchange will then give you more to appreciate.
I am hoping you can see how gratitude really can give you more to be grateful for. It is not some strange esoteric principle, but really a matter of exchange that benefits all parties. Considering this, why would you not want to be more grateful and do so more often?
Happiness is a multi-billion dollar business these days. Everyone is buying books, attending seminars and going on vacation looking to find that moment of bliss we all seek. The ironic thing about all this is that the solution, and the bliss, is a lot closer and a lot cheaper than we make it. When people look at the quote above, they mistakenly think developing a mindset like this will stifle the motivation to pursue a better life. That is not the case at all. When we appreciate what we have as we are pursuing something better, it fills our life with more joy and makes us more resilient to the challenges along the way.
Sadly, the way that most people learn to adopt this attitude is when what they have is taken away. If you are unhappy that you cannot get around as well as you used to, what happens when the ability to get around is taken away from you all together? Suddenly, you would love to have that ability back. You could be working on improving your ability to get around through exercise and stretching while reminding yourself “At least I have the ability to work on this.” Think of people who complain about going to work. On occasion I can be one of those people. One of the best ways to fall in love with your job is to face the prospect of losing it. If you lose it all together, you would be overjoyed to have to go to work again.
I do not wish that you would have to face anything being taken from your life. Although, if it does indeed make us more grateful it can be considered a blessing. To adopt this miracle mindset before that happens, use that magic and powerful word -gratitude. There are times I listen to people get truly irate over trivial things. You are consumed in anger because your neighbor’s dog uses your lawn like a public restroom. Sure, your neighbor should be more considerate, but to lose yourself in anger over it only serves to ruin your life not theirs. You think your life is tough and people treat you unfairly? Try going for a walk through a children’s cancer ward. These kids are barely starting life and are facing the prospect of it ending all too soon. Not to mention the ridiculous financial burden their families will be saddled with on top of their emotional burden. Then, tell me again how your neighbor’s dog is ruining your life.
You may think this as an extreme example, but the point is the life we live is the dream of far more than we can imagine. You have the ability to read this right now. That means you have access to the internet, not to mention the ability to read. Those two items alone would allow you to accomplish more than someone could have done in decades only a few years ago. Are you aware there are roughly 800 million people in the world who cannot read and write? Think of how much that will limit their opportunities and future?
Realizing how wonderful we truly have it will not cause us to sink into a world of lazy contentment. On the contrary. I find that when people adopt a grateful attitude and realize how many gifts they have in their life, they are more eager to develop and share them. How about you? Has this article inspired you to take a hard look at all you should be appreciating in your life? I hope it has.
This post is not at all what I thought it will be. Honestly, an example of what we will discuss here happened to me this evening! I’m getting ahead of myself. Have you ever stopped and thought about everything you have to be grateful for? Take one event that you enjoy and really break it down. I did this with the Wisconsin State Fair. My favorite event to attend all year.
When I started to think about it, there are thousands of people that contribute to putting on this event. There are of course the people who run the fair, including its new CEO, Shari Black. There are the owners of the stands that sell everything from food to inflatable hammocks. There are the employees that work those stands. There are the people who maintain the grounds. They recently repaved a good portion of the park. I will not get into all of the people in the paving industry, but you see where this is going. Let us not forget the VERY important people who keep the restrooms clean.
This was the general scope of this blog post until about 730 this evening. Then this happened – the heavens opened up and the rain fell. The crowds scrambled. The main act was canceled. This, you would assume would ruin one’s time at the fair. Not so. There was a million things to be thankful for.
Earlier in the day, one of our favorite grocery stores gave away free ponchos. My mother and I availed ourselves to them. This was at noon. 7 hours before the rain. As we walked through the fair and on the way home, we talked about how lucky we were. First the ponchos. Then the fact we enjoyed the whole day at the fair before this happened. We were able to purchase food to take home on the way out. Everyone seemed in a silly mood even though they were soaked.
You see, in any event they are a million things to be grateful for. Think of going to work. People paved roads for you. There are traffic lights to make surethe trip is safe. You either have a car or public transportation. Think of all the people involved in these industries. You have a restroom at work… with running water.
These things may not seem like a big deal. Take any one of them away and you will see that they are. Remember, whether a morning commute or a rainy night at the fair, there is always so much to be grateful for!
To me, this conversation seems like one I have had a million times. Although, we only have discussed it on here briefly. My mom and I reflect on certain things and say how it seems like a lifetime ago. Now, with almost 11 years together, Margie and I find ourselves doing the same thing.
Have you ever done this? Think about a restaurant you used to go to, or people you got together with and it seems like it was in another lifetime. The reason I bring that up is this time of year brings to town one of my favorite things, The Wisconsin State Fair. This year it seems many of the staples that have been there for years, or even decades, are gone.
We all understand that things change and hopefully evolve. Still, this begs the question how can we hang on to those moments? As we sat watching a dog diving show, this thought was bouncing through my head.
The answer is to stay grateful for them. To appreciate every moment as they happen. Look around you. The people and places around you may not be there tomorrow. It is a sobering thought to be sure, but hopefully one that will motivate us to appreciate each other and live in the moment.
Have you ever stopped to think of the purpose of the interactions you have with people? Like meeting a friend for coffee. Was the point to vent about your crummy job and car that is constantly braking down? How about that dinner with your spouse? The other night Margie and I were having dinner when we noticed a couple across the restaurant. The entire time they were out together, he was on his phone and she was reading a book. They scarcely knew each other was there.
I’m not saying we need a minute by minute plan for every personal interaction. Some organic development is what keeps life interesting. I’m reminded of a new project in working on with a friend of mine. We have a framework of what we would like to accomplish, but leave room for some magic to happen.
Life is much like that. When meeting a friend, think to yourself “While we are having coffee, I’d really like to make each other laugh.” Before heading out for that romantic dinner with your spouse, maybe plan to share how much they mean to you while enjoying a delicious meal. Have a positive purpose in your interactions. It will help you have an even more amazing life.
How many of us could benefit from taking this attitude not only into the gym, but into life. People complain about a wide variety of things. I am guilty of this myself far too often. As we can see in this quote, a change in perception can make a big change in how we feel. While we are complaining about soreness in our joints, there are others who do not have the ability to even use theirs.
This shift in attitude can transcend more than just our bodies. Our environment is another example. Perhaps our house has many issues that require our attention. It can be frustrating. If we were to instead focus on how grateful we are that we are not one of the countless homeless that will give anything just to have a place to lay their heads, it may make those repairs a little less frustrating. How about our job? Statistics say that 87% of Americans do not like their jobs. I would say over 90% of those people tell others they do not like their job. What would happen if they lost it? Do you think they would feel a sense of relief that they are not out of that occupation? My guess is no.
This is not rocket science. When we begin to focus on being grateful for what we have, instead of frustrated for what we do not, we begin to realize how much we have. Not only that, life is far more likely to give us even more to be grateful for. If you are about to dismiss this as some sort of new-age nonsense, let me give you an example. Let us say you were given some candy and you decided to share it with your friends. One friend in particular was very appreciative and grateful for the fact you shared the candy. Who would you be most likely to share with in the future? When you are grateful in a retail setting for the service you receive, do you think the service you get next time will be more likely to be better or worse? Anyone who has worked in retail, or with the public in general can tell you how rare genuine appreciation and gratitude from a customer can be.
If you spend your life resenting all that life has not given you, life will be one unhappy place. If, on the other hand, you spend life being grateful for what you have while working for something better, life will seem magical. You will feel lucky and blessed. Which would you rather feel? It is as simple as changing the way you look at life and feeling grateful.
Falling in love with life will be the theme of my upcoming fourth book. Do you remember how it feels when you first fall in love with a person? You feel like you are floating on a cloud. Nothing can bother you. Imagine feeling the same way about life!
There are secrets to get this feeling back. It is much like love in a relationship. After a while, we begin to take things for granted. We begin to see the cracks and faults. Sometimes to the detriment of all the good and the magic. That is why children have a much more magical view of life than adults. Life is new. Everything is a miracle. My next book will help you capture that again as an adult.
In the meantime, I would love to hear things and situations that help you fall in love with life. Even if just for a moment.
There are so many addictions out there. I do my best to make sure I am not addicted to too many things. I even give up caffeine 1 month a year. For an author that also works 60 hours a week, that’s kind of a big deal.
I confess to being addicted to making feel people feel good. Nothing lights me up more than knowing I made someone else’s life better! I’m addicted to the desire to make the world a better place. When my ears are filled with negative news, as happens to many of us, my mind immediately asks,”How can I do something to make the world better. “
That leads us to avoiding the addictionmentioned in the photo above – destination addiction! The thought that you will be happy ‘when’. When certain goals are achieved. When the weight is lost. When the addiction is overcome. We should be as addicted to the journey. Feeling the joy of life as it happens.
We spend 80% of lifeon the journey. Why only be happy 20% of the time?Sure, you can’t run a marathon, but did you notice you don’t get out of wind walking up a flight of stairs? You don’t fit in your favorite jeans, but maybe there is a little more room in your current ones?
One of the best examples to me is the brave people overcoming addiction. They are a great reminder that victory happens one day at a time. Every day is a new battle, but that means every day is a new chance at victory! Celebrate the journey. Celebrate the fact you have made it one more day. Do not become addicted to the destination!
This picture is great! Obviously a point about focus. You may be thinking, like I was, “Not me! I appreciate what Ihave!” Then I took another look at the picture and thought what I would do if someone handed me a cake with one slice missing. What would you do? Can you imagine going to the store buying a cake with one slice gone? What about a slice of cake? A lot less, but if someone handed you a slice of cake, you would not ask where the rest of the cake went.
People are a little like the cake. Most are not as sweet, but the theory is the same. If someone shared a lot with you, but kept one part of their life secret, we would feel like we were missing something. Like the cake with a slice missing. Yet, if someone were to share just a little with us, we would feel like they were giving us something a little special. Just like a slice of cake.
I live with the most beautiful baker, trust me when I tell you I know a thing or 2 about cake! Whether we are given a little, or a lot with just one thing missing we should appreciate what we have. Changing focus will take us from expectation to appreciation! Imagine how that could change your life!
I have been waiting to have the time to sit down and write this post. Thank you for stopping in today at Secret2anamazinglife.com. Throughout our over 10 year run, the topic that comes up the most is gratitude. Some of you may even be rolling your eyes at the thought of yet another post about gratitude. The reason we post so much about this subject is that I firmly believe in order to change your life, you have to change your mindset. There is nothing that works with more speed and impact to change your mindset than gratitude.
In my 2 decades of work in the self-improvement field, I have shared this opinion to everyone who would listen. It is what changed my life for the better, and still does. If you use it, I promise it will do the same for you. What most people struggle with is believing that gratitude can do all of this, and how to use it in their own life. They think of people who are constantly preaching the gospel of gratitude as people who go through life ‘wearing rose-colored glasses’. That is not what true gratitude is about at all.
It is not believing that there is no weeds in the garden. Gratitude is realizing that in addition to the weeds, and sometimes in spite of them, wonderful plants and flowers bloom. It is also not just focusing on the plants and pretending there is no weeds. It is working on the weeds while caring for the plants. In case this metaphor is not perfectly clear, we will spell it out. The weeds are the challenges, or what is wrong in life. The plants and flowers represent what is right and good in our world. Just as a garden is rarely, if ever, free of weeds, our life is rarely if ever free of challenges. We must work on overcoming our challenges, while still being grateful for all that is good. You would not give up on a garden because there are a few weeds. You should not give up on life because there are challenges.
Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the best things you can do for your life. It does not mean that you are denying or ignoring the challenges in life. You are making the bold stand that there is beauty in, and that life is worth while despite the challenges. It is often in the challenges that the true beauty and reasons to be grateful can be found.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 