This popped up on my social media feed on Sunday, so I thought I would share it here on our uplifting Wednesday post. Not only is it a great reminder that indeed that we are all amazing in some way that that we all deserve to be happy, but that it is good to be reminded of it.
I would encourage all of us to share more things like this not only on our social media platforms, but in real life too. Letting someone, be that friend or stranger, know that they are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy can do a lot more than we think. All of us face challenges we never share. We can get wrapped up in the insanity of life and forget our value. To be reminded of that may help someone pursue their purpose, bring a light to their life, or even save their life. Doesn’t that make it worthwhile?
Think of ways in which we can remind each other that we are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy. It would be great if you can share them in the comments. That way we can all do a better job of inspiring each other.
Happiness is a multi-billion dollar business these days. Everyone is buying books, attending seminars and going on vacation looking to find that moment of bliss we all seek. The ironic thing about all this is that the solution, and the bliss, is a lot closer and a lot cheaper than we make it. When people look at the quote above, they mistakenly think developing a mindset like this will stifle the motivation to pursue a better life. That is not the case at all. When we appreciate what we have as we are pursuing something better, it fills our life with more joy and makes us more resilient to the challenges along the way.
Sadly, the way that most people learn to adopt this attitude is when what they have is taken away. If you are unhappy that you cannot get around as well as you used to, what happens when the ability to get around is taken away from you all together? Suddenly, you would love to have that ability back. You could be working on improving your ability to get around through exercise and stretching while reminding yourself “At least I have the ability to work on this.” Think of people who complain about going to work. On occasion I can be one of those people. One of the best ways to fall in love with your job is to face the prospect of losing it. If you lose it all together, you would be overjoyed to have to go to work again.
I do not wish that you would have to face anything being taken from your life. Although, if it does indeed make us more grateful it can be considered a blessing. To adopt this miracle mindset before that happens, use that magic and powerful word -gratitude. There are times I listen to people get truly irate over trivial things. You are consumed in anger because your neighbor’s dog uses your lawn like a public restroom. Sure, your neighbor should be more considerate, but to lose yourself in anger over it only serves to ruin your life not theirs. You think your life is tough and people treat you unfairly? Try going for a walk through a children’s cancer ward. These kids are barely starting life and are facing the prospect of it ending all too soon. Not to mention the ridiculous financial burden their families will be saddled with on top of their emotional burden. Then, tell me again how your neighbor’s dog is ruining your life.
You may think this as an extreme example, but the point is the life we live is the dream of far more than we can imagine. You have the ability to read this right now. That means you have access to the internet, not to mention the ability to read. Those two items alone would allow you to accomplish more than someone could have done in decades only a few years ago. Are you aware there are roughly 800 million people in the world who cannot read and write? Think of how much that will limit their opportunities and future?
Realizing how wonderful we truly have it will not cause us to sink into a world of lazy contentment. On the contrary. I find that when people adopt a grateful attitude and realize how many gifts they have in their life, they are more eager to develop and share them. How about you? Has this article inspired you to take a hard look at all you should be appreciating in your life? I hope it has.
Last post we discussed how we can recapture a little of the excitement of youth by remembering how cool things we used to do in treehouses and blanket forts were and comparing them with what we can do in our own homes. We ended that post by observing that our appreciation for the simple things tends to fade as we grow older. We do not find hiding in a blanket fort with our love as exciting as landing in Jamaica, or wherever our choice vacation destination is. Obviously, there are many more benefits to traveling to a luxury resort in a tropical paradise. Especially if you live in the freezing climate like my lady and I do.
What I am about to share with you is a very powerful secret to not only an amazing life, but an amazing relationship. Sit down, get comfy, but pay close attention. Using this secret will both deepen your connection with your partner and increase the amount of joy you experience on those tropical getaways. The best part we haven’t even mentioned. It will have you experiencing more joy on a daily basis. How about that for something amazing? You will grow closer to your partner, those special moments will feel more magical and you will experience more peace and joy in your heart daily. Does that sound like something you might be willing to give a try?
The answer lies in what we do in those seemingly little moments. I say ‘seemingly’ because that is how we view them. They are, however, the basis of what makes our life what it is. If you wait to bring magic to your relationship until there is a special occasion, what are you doing the rest of the time? Les Brown said there are very few couples who are living together. Most of us are just dying together. That is an uncomfortable truth. Do you spend your days arguing about who is going to make the bed or take out the garbage? Try making the bed together while talking about how great it will be to snuggle together in it later. When you take out the garbage, ponder how amazing it is that you can afford all the the things that generate this refuse and send a feeling of gratitude that there is someone who takes care of that garbage for you.
You may be thinking to yourself, “Yeah right. Happy making the bed and taking out the garbage?” It might sound far fetched, but stop and think for a minute. How happy would you be to make your own bed after being homeless? Can you even imagine being homeless? How about having to dig a pit and bury your refuse in your back yard. How long would you like to do that? Here is the million dollar secret in case you have missed it. Why should you even put fourth effort to find the joy and magic in these ordinary tasks? Simple. You do them every damn day. The difference between feeling like you are being dragged to do something you do not want to do verses something that you get to do and finding the joy in it, can transform the way your life feels on a daily basis!
One of the areas that I have found can be mined for joy and drawing closer to your partner is the grocery store. Watching what hot sauce they pick out and enjoy so you can surprise them with it at a later date. Talking about what kind of meals you would like to make together, or maybe picking out a new food to try together. That can be fun! That is not to say that every trip to the grocery store will be a magical experience. Margie and I have distinctively different shopping techniques and when we are tired and overworked this can lead to not so magical moments. It is then that having the experience of how to make it magical is more important than ever.
Here is the added bonus. When you learn to appreciate all the small moments in life, the big ones become even more magical. Take that view leading to the beach in the lower right corner. Truly a beautiful sight. Taking the time to hold my lady’s hand and experience it together, that made it more magical. The pigs in the upper left corner? We swam with them in the ocean and then fed them on shore. Watching my love interact with them and sharing our adventures with each other gave us memories for years to come. These are not things that happen overnight. Working on communication and relating to each other allowed us to better appreciate the moment together. That made the trip, and our time together on it, even more magical.
These two events play off of each other. What we learn in discovering the magic of daily life helps us to better appreciate our exciting time away. We also take lessons we learn on vacation home with us. When something doesn’t quite turn out like we thought (say our relaxing sunset cruise turns into an adventure straight out of Deadliest catch) we usually recoup back at our hotel room and say, “At least I get to be here with you.” That lesson holds true when we are spending an evening at home. A blizzard may have shut down the city and maybe the furnace is out. Still I will look out from under the blanket we are huddled together under and say, “At least I get to be here with you.”
Last post to celebrate 1000 posts on this site, we discussed what actions would make the greatest difference. Two of the most important were fostering an attitude of gratitude and sowing the seeds of what you wish to reap. I have done my best to practice this is the last 1000 days. I do my best to make sure each post does a little bit to uplift, inspire and educate all of those who read it. We discussed how actions of kindness and compassion are great seeds to sow that will come back to fill your world with kindness. Little did I know that I was foretelling my future!
Margie had told me she was going to take me out to celebrate 1000 posts and my dedication to writing them everyday. Little did I know, her and my mother worked together to gather some of my closest friends to help me celebrate. I could not have been happier. Last post I discussed the importance of making sure you surround yourself with great people that will encourage you and lift you up. I certainly have! What a great blessing all of these friends are!
I also had a separate section to say how grateful I was for Margie and how much she has added to my life. This is one example where I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation. Not only did she have me feeling these emotions, but her, along with our friends and family, have me excited to bring my fourth book to publication. Last post was advice to plant seeds of kindness and compassion. It was a reminder to surround yourself with amazing people. Today is evidence and proof that it does indeed come back to you. With abundance at that. I am so grateful for everyone that came out, or sent their thoughts and wishes last night!
This is one of the great secrets to living an amazing life. With such focus on ‘finding happiness’, many people forget to look in one of the most obvious places. That hiding place is their own life. You might be thinking that cannot be true of your own life. You would be wrong. Even if your life is full of challenges right now, which would include 90% of us, you still can find a great deal of happiness you are missing. It can be found in things that we think are ordinary. The words that follow may sound cliche, but I urge you to stop and ponder them.
When you think of all of the things getting in your way of being happy, does it frustrate you? Do you have a strong desire just to live a more fulfilling and happy life? I think we all do. What if I were to tell you that one of the major obstacles to lasting happiness in your life is…well…you! More specifically, your mind and its tendency to be a little lazy. We are exposed to so many different bits of information that our mind (more to the point, our reticular activating system) has to filter out what is important and what is not. This can be very helpful when looking for possible danger and challenges. It can be a detriment when trying to fill our hearts with happiness.
Right now, we could be focused on a million different things. How the air feels on our skin. How different articles of clothing feel resting on our skin. How the light is casting shadows in the room. How deep we are breathing. Most of these we just take for granted. If we tried to notice everything we would go insane in a relatively short period of time. Normally, our brains are on the lookout for things that need improvement at the moment. We are just wired that way. What if, you began to balance that by adding a question you periodically ask yourself. One question that could change your life entirely. One question that could help balance the scales and begin to bring more joy and inner peace into your life.
This magical question is simply, “What can I enjoy in this situation?” There are many versions of this. You could also ask, “What is beautiful in my life right now?” Look at the cat in the picture above. It appears to be enjoying the wind, sun or maybe even the smell of tuna in the air. It has stopped to smell the roses, or again, maybe the tuna. We can walk past so many ‘rose bushes’ in our life and never stop to appreciate them. I endeavor to do this on my way to work every morning. I look to notice businesses I may have missed. I notice the plants planted along the streets. I think about the wonderful night I had with my lady, or look forward to what we are going to do after I get off of work. Not only does this change my focus, but it starts my mind in a positive state on the way to work.
One great thing about doing this is that it becomes second nature after a while. When you get into the habit of asking yourself what is beautiful or joyous in your life often enough, your brain will start to do it on its own. How long this takes will depend on your own situation. It may help to start by designating a time to ask yourself this every day. Just like my morning commute. Yours could be asking what went beautiful in your day before you fall asleep. This will not only help you get better rest, but will set your day ahead up for success. Even if you had challenges that day, those are beautiful. They can often help you appreciate the challenge-free life you might take for granted.
I heard something the other day that will be in my upcoming fourth book. I wanted to give you an abridged version here today. When it comes to improving our own lives, we have spoke volumes about adopting an attitude of gratitude. This is for good reason. You hear it so much it almost sounds cliche. The reason you hear it so much is because it works. We recently even discovered a new and almost effortless way to do this. That was creating an album of pictures (either a photo album or in your phone) that reminds you of what you are grateful for. Then, all you have to do is scroll through the pictures and you start to feel grateful.
This is technically not a post about gratitude. No, it is about gratitude’s twin sister. What are we talking about here? Let me explain. Gratitude works wonders on our relationship with ourselves, but what about our relationships with others? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic wand for improving them? There is and it is easy to use and will work on any relationship. Looking to deepen your love with your spouse? This will work. Looking to be on your cranky boss’s good side? It works for that too. How about conveying positive feelings to a friend? This is perfect for that! The more you get in the habit of using this skill, the more polished you will become at it and the more powerful it will work.
The secret power we are discussing, and gratitude’s twin sister, is appreciation. When you appreciate someone, you are telling them why you are grateful for them. This is not to be confused with flattery. That is false praise, usually delivered in hopes of gaining favor. You might think people can’t tell the difference. They can and nobody likes flattery. Appreciation is a genuine expression of gratitude for another person. Letting someone know you are grateful for them and exactly why is so powerful it can deepen the strongest love and soften the hardest heart.
Delivering appreciation is an art form. It takes a certain finesse. Using the right tone and body language. Maintaining eye contact without being creepy about it. This will all come with practice. Do not worry about being perfect. Appreciation is so rare today it is always treasured. Just be genuine and the results will be amazing. We are all out here trying our best and working hard. For someone to notice and let us know means the world.
When you start using genuine appreciation, I can promise you that every relationship in your life will improve. Who would not want that in life? When you think how interconnected we are in life, it is important to let others know how much they mean and how grateful we are for them. Start expressing appreciation today. Make it genuine. Make it sincere and it will change you life.
One of the greatest pieces of advice that took me years to understand came from one of my grandparents. I am not sure which, but it was a simple warning. “Life goes by quicker the older you get.” As a young man, I thought that was the stupidest thing I heard. After all, a year is a year, a day is a day and even an hour is always 60 minutes. Sitting here just shy of 50, a whole new appreciation for that line has taken place. There are so many things in my life that seem like they occurred in a different lifetime. Not to mention hearing songs that you thought were released ‘a few years ago’ on the oldies station.
When we are young, very few of us give serious thought to the future. Sure, we have plans and things we would like to do or accomplish. Seldom do we take actions to make sure those goals are achieved. One of the greatest blessings in my life has been my open-heart surgery and brief flirtation with death. It was as if the creator was reminding me, “Hey kid, it can be over without any warning.” Far too often it is. People we loved are gone often unexpectedly. “If I had only known.” we hear ourselves saying. If we confront a hard truth, don’t we all know? Raise your hand if you are completely unaware that someone can seem to be in amazing health and be gone the next day. It would be my guess very few of us have our hands up. We all know this fact.
It might not be the start of your life, but you are being told – there are only so many tomorrows. This is not fatalistic. It is true. The clock is ticking and it doesn’t run backwards. Every second in life is precious. It is time we start viewing them that way in the present and not just in reflection. Whatever you want to someone to know, tell them. Whatever dream you want to chase, chase that dream. The worst end we can experience is one filled with regret.
We may prefer not to dwell on the fact that the end is ever approaching, but I think some casual attention on the matter would serve us well. Could this be the last time you spend with your friend? Unlikely, but a possibility. Something as simple as fully appreciating the food at that restaurant you love in case they close unexpectedly. Life is full of ends and beginnings. Let us cherish each and every one of them.
This simple quote is a key to creating amazing relationships. In this “look at me” world, almost everyone is seeking their 15 minutes of fame. That means, if you take time to express genuine appreciation to anyone, for just about anything, you will certainly stand out in a positive light.
How about you? Try this for 2 weeks. Every day, express genuine appreciation to someone different. Be sincere and don’t expect anything in return. I guarantee that in 2 weeks you will have much improved relationships.
I would really wish to express my sincere appreciation for all of you who read this, and even more for those who share it as well. With your help, we are working to make the world a more positive place for everyone. I would love to hear who you are going to appreciate and the results of your 2 week trial.
I mentioned the book I am currently reading in an earlier post. Where I cannot assume you read that post, the title of the book is Happiness is a Choice you Make by John Leland. It was recommended to me by a dear lady whom I had met at a graduation party. She was someone whom I had never met, but we conversed the whole time I was there like old friends. I am hoping I have the opportunity to thank her for such a great recommendation. The book covers 6 of the ‘oldest old’. That is to say people who are above the age of 87. Which I learned, is one of the fastest growing demographics in the United States.
In the section I am currently reading, the author is talking with a couple who are in their 90s. They found each other at the nursing home where they both live. The dynamics of their relationship is so fascinating to me. One of the aspects that makes it work is a great secret that all of us could use in our own relationships. This secret works not only in romantic relationships, but friendships, business relationships or relationships of any kind. If you don’t manage this secret properly, it can lead to what poisons a great deal of relationships. If you do learn, and are able to master this, it will give your relationship an advantage others simply don’t have. Both parties will feel happier and more confident with the relationship.
That is what we do here at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We teach you secrets to have an amazing life. One of the biggest factors of the quality of life is the quality of your relationships. Learning how to improve them has a positive impact on every area of your life. What is the secret the couple in the book practice that we all could put into use in our own lives? Learning to not only give, but receive. That second part especially. Independent people often want to do everything themselves. This is not necessarily a bad trait. When you are in a relationship, it can leave the other party feeling both a little unneeded and unwanted. If someone offers to say, get you a cup of coffee, and you always reply “I can do it myself.” It will not only leave the other party feeling as though they lost an opportunity to do something for you, but done long enough, they may stop offering all together.
This is a tricky balance. We often to want to feel like a burden to our partner or friend, but we certainly want to give them an opportunity to feel as though they did something for us. Think if the roles were reversed. How would you feel if you were able to do something that would either help, or bring joy, to your partner or friend? You would feel good I would imagine. Why would you deny that good feeling to someone else? Have you ever looked at it this way? It may seem that one party is taking and one is giving in this equation. The truth is, they are both giving. One, the act of service. The other, the opportunity to provide that service. If you follow this up with appreciation, you actually get to give twice by receiving. How crazy is that? The other party feels good that they were able to do something for you, and they feel good that you let them know you appreciate what they did.
The picture above is me and my silly lady. We practice this secret daily. It is not always easy as we both love to do things for each other. We must remember that we like the other party to feel needed and appreciated. In fact, we love appreciating each other. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is ‘keep score’. The thought that “Hey! I do a lot more for them than they do for me!” is poison to a relationship. You are actually providing them an opportunity to appreciate you and they are providing an opportunity to feel that you matter and serve a purpose in the relationship. Appreciation for your partner and all that they do is key in this equation. It is true that you never want to feel useless, or that you don’t serve a purpose in a relationship. You also never want to feel taken for granted.
Let your partner know that you appreciate everything they do for you. Give them an opportunity to do things for you, even if you can do it for yourself. This is not only a secret to an amazing relationship, but to an amazing life.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 