It is Monday! Depending on what time of day you are reading this, you may be dreading going to to work to start a long week away from the family, or coming back in exhausted after the first day back over the weekend. This can have you asking if this is all there is to life. Certainly, life has to be more than just waking up, paying bills and feeling tired! You are right. That is why we all need a new job. Don’t worry, you do not have to quit the job you have. That’s right, it is another job. Before you stop reading because you think I have completely lost my mind, let me explain. I think you might be up for this one.
I believe it was Les Brown who said “At a job they pay you just enough that you won’t quit and you work just enough that they will not fire you.” This seems to be true for a lot of people. Life can feel like a job. What is the most popular abbreviation for those 3 letters? Most of us have heard a J.O.B. referred to as “Just Over Broke.” In many cases, this is sad but true. In your life, we are going to change that.
Starting today, J.O.B. will mean something entirely different and it is your ‘job’ to make it a reality. That is ‘joy of being’. If we can work half as much at finding joy in our lives as we do to pay the bills, we will become richer than we have ever been! After all, the reason we go to work is to pay for things to bring us joy. Even things as simple as keeping the lights on and a roof over our heads. We should work at keeping the joy in our hearts as well.
This week, spend some time working to explore things that bring joy to your being. What really makes your heart soar and puts a smile on your face? Spend some time not only discovering that, but engaging in it as well. We all could stand to have that J.O.B.
It is amazing to me how many people turn their lives over to people who consider themselves experts. I have a problem trusting the important issues in my life to the experts. Take my health for example. If you ask my doctor, he will be the first to tell you, I ask a lot of questions. This should not surprise anyone who knows me personally. It is not that I do not value his years of study and experience in the field of health, I certainly do. Still, all of us can have bias and be tainted by our experiences. No single person can know everything.
The reason that I am bringing this up today, is that I was reminded of it listening to an interview with Kobe Bryant. If, for some reason, you are unaware who Kobe Bryant is, allow me to give you the briefest of recaps. He was a professional basketball player that played 20 years for the Los Angeles Lakers. He won five championships and had many amazing performances along the way. Can you guess what his high school guidance counselor told him? “Give up that basketball dream. It will never work out for you.” This was somebody who was an ‘expert’ in guiding children. To the counselor’s credit, the year before, Kobe had played an entire season of basketball and did not score one single point. Here is a player who hold hold the record for most points scored in a single NBA game (81) and he played an entire season without scoring a single point. Fortunately, Kobe did not listen to the experts.
In my own life, I had a similar story. My senior year in high school I almost did not pass English class. It was of no interest to me. What kind of verb is this? I really did not care. I loved history and science. I was good at math. Socializing, that is what I really excelled at in high school. English class? Not so much. The last day of school my fabulous teacher leaned over my desk and stated in no uncertain terms, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” Several years later, here we are working on book number 4! At the time, like Kobe and his scoreless season, I would not have argued with her. Although I am not the Kobe Bryant of authors…yet, I still use my craft to both educate and entertain many.
In your life, I urge you not to blindly trust the experts. Sure, take what they say with the weight it deserves, but do your own research and ask your own questions. Nobody should care more about your health, your happiness and your success than you. Act accordingly.
This charming fellow is a sherpa. If you do not know what they do, they help you carry your stuff up a mountain, so you can worry about doing other things, like say, climbing a mountain. They go with you on your journey. They help carry the supplies you might need at any given time. Sherpas usually have a good deal of knowledge when it comes to the trails and journeys that they travel. Can you imagine how great it would be to have a sherpa throughout your life? They would carry all of the supplies and you would just have to focus on making it through the journey.
This past Tuesday, I had the honor of being a guest on the Mind, Body, Abundance Show. One of the hosts, Charlene, said a phrase I really enjoyed. She referred to herself as a ‘shift sherpa’. Many of us in the self-improvement field could apply this title. We follow you on your journey via a book, website or YouTube video. We share tools and strategies that you can use as you navigate your journey. That is what we do here. You can take Secret2anamazinglife with you as you journey through life. We will offer tools and carry them for you as you need them.
How about you? Are you a sherpa? Before you think that you have to help climb Mount Everest, or even be involved in the self-improvement field, let me assure you that you do not. All of us could use a sherpa in our lives. It doesn’t have to be the tools of self-improvement. It can be to help carry the burdens of life for family and friends. It can be to share our stories and experiences to help others survive, and even thrive, in their journey. A sherpa doesn’t have to stay for the whole journey. They are there to help along some of the toughest paths. How valuable do you think that would be?
In life, let us all be sherpas for those we care about. Let us help carry the burdens we all go through. Eventually, we will need a sherpa in our life when the journey seems too hard and our load seems too heavy. If we all help each other carry the load of life, it will be a lot lighter for all of us.
I think we could all benefit from this quote by Bruce Lee. Viewing defeat as the first step to something better changes our perspective. It takes us from a feeling of going backwards, to taking the first step forward.
Starting today, when you feel like you have failed, ask yourself, “What better outcome could this be the first step of?” It will change your perception of the problem
These days it seems everyone is working to get rich and famous. From side hustles, to an attempt to go viral, it would seem that we are all chasing the brass ring. To this end, many people wish to use the Law of Attraction, or as it has become known, the secret. One of the most important aspects of this law is that you must be what you wish to attract. This gives many people, including myself, a headache trying to figure out.
When thinking about gaining wealth and fame, the question becomes, “How can I be and/or feel wealthy, when my circumstances would have me feeling the opposite.” With the price of everything from heat to groceries going up, that is certainly understandable. The ‘secret’ is contained in something we touched on a few posts ago. Our control is not in bending outside circumstances to our will, but working on the circumstances that exist between our own ears.
How can you feel wealthy with all of the bills coming in and the paycheck not getting larger? By focusing on all that you do have. This may sound cliche or positive thinking to many of you. In a way I suppose it is. That does not change that fact that it works. A brief glance at the world around us will remind us of how much we all have to be thankful for. Take our health for example. Even if it is not perfect at the moment, it certainly could be worse. Our friends are another source of wealth. We may wish we had more, or saw the ones we have more often, but the fact is having friends is a great form of wealth.
There are a million things from a roof over our heads, running water to access to the internet to read something like this, that we should be grateful for. Our lives are filled with so many blessings that often go overlooked. Spending as little as five minutes a day focusing on all we have to be grateful for can transform our lives. It can take us to living a life of lack, to living one of abundance. Don’t trust me, prove it to yourself by trying this today.
How many times do we hear people say things such as, “When ____ happens, then I will be happy.” Sure, the accomplishment of certain goals may bring us satisfaction. I know that being able to spend time in the Bahamas with the woman I love will bring me a great amount of joy. Here is a question, what if these things don’t happen? Life can be crazy. Corona virus showed us that. Who would have thought the world would shut down in a matter of weeks? I didn’t have that on my calendar. My trip could be canceled or postponed due to a hurricane or problems with the airplane. As the quote above eludes to, the future is uncertain.
The best assurance we have of an amazing life is not to plan our future, although that is a good idea. No, the best way to guarantee an amazing life is to live as fully as we are able in the present. Love those we love to the best of our ability. Try that new food, go on that trip, have coffee with that friend. The one torture that the uncertainty of the future can convey is the feeling of regret. We only have one life and it is forever growing shorter. We should do our best to get ever drop of joy out of it that we can.
Live your life today! Do not tie your happiness to an event. Find ways to celebrate today while looking forward to tomorrow. Enjoy the journey while getting closer to the destination. That is the secret to an amazing life.
How many of us have took a hit from life and have been left feeling totally helpless? I know I have. We can hear ourselves saying, “Look what happened to me. It is not my fault!” You would be right. Getting knocked down is not our fault. It is also usually beyond our control to some extent. What is in our control is whether we stay down or not. Events may be beyond our control, but how we respond to them is 100% in our control.
Realize that we have control over our mind and not outside events. If we use our energy to try and control outside events, that is a fool’s errand. If, however, we put that same time and energy towards strengthening our mind, which we have control over, than we are making a solid investment with our time and energy. Work on improving your ability to respond intelligently. Work on practicing patience and objectivity. These are where your strength is and it is also where your best chance to impact outside events occurs.
Today, make an investment in your inner world and cease being so concerned with controlling your outside world. This is often beyond our control. We can control our minds. It is in this endeavor that we should put all of our efforts toward.
The work week has begun and we are all on our own journeys. The quote above has two amazing points. The first one is just that. Our journeys are unique to us. When we see someone doing something that does not make sense to us, we must remember that their journey is different than ours. Where we are going and where we have been is very different from them and their life. Even if something seems to make no sense to us, if we consider that their experiences and thoughts may be the exact opposite, it could make perfect sense to them.
Keeping these facts in mind will allow us to forgo judgement and approach each other with compassion. Not everyone, dare I say not anyone, we cross paths with will have the same destination, the same beliefs or the same journey. We may even be heading towards the same destination, but are taking different paths. That is ok. That last fact is something very important to keep in mind. It is ok if someone’s journey takes a different path than our own. It is not only ok, it is what gives life its variety. If everyone’s journey and destination were exactly the same, life would be insanely boring. Even when we find ourselves seemingly sharing a journey with someone, know in reality it is just that our paths are crossing for that period of time.
The second point is perhaps the most important. When our paths do cross, we should do our best to encourage and lift each other up. How many times do we get a chance to share the journey of life with each other? It is not as many as you think. Even with those in our household, or those we see every day at work. There can be a million reasons why these paths may go their separate ways. People can get promoted. They can decide to pursue a different path in life. Sadly, they can also pass away. We can never be certain that our paths will cross again.
I can think of no better legacy to leave behind than to be remembered as someone who has positively impacted the lives of others. This does not have to be someone like a Mother Teresa who used her extreme love and compassion to care for some of the most neglected members of society. Although, there is always room for people like that. Positively impacting people can be as simple as always sharing a smile and encouraging word with those you come in contact with. How valuable are those two things when we are having a rough day? The gift of hope can be one of the most valuable gifts we can give.
When you cross paths with someone today, remember those two facts. First, their path and journey are different than yours. This holds true for everyone in your life. From strangers you meet for a moment, to those you live with. Our paths may cross for a little, or a long time, but our journeys are still our own. Second, remember to encourage everyone you cross paths with. You never know how hard their journey is, and you can never be sure you will cross paths with them again.
Today is one of the most important posts I have written in a while. I will be appearing on television on Tuesday to discuss ’10 minutes to change the world’. The link will be shared in a post later in the week. This started me thinking on what we could all do in 10 minutes to change our worlds. The answer reflected something that occurred to me and played perfectly into the subject of my upcoming fourth book. I am going to give all of you a peak at this today.
I am going to share the 10 minutes that changed my world and give you the tools and strategies that I took out of that. These same very tools and strategies you can use to change your own life. The great change occurred in November of 2021. I had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, in which I had scheduled my open-heart surgery. In typical Neil fashion, I choose January 11 because the date would be “1-11-22”. That would be a full house. Had to be lucky I deduced. I also choose ‘high-noon’ as the time. Why? Because I always heard them say that in westerns and I thought it sounded cool. This is the way in which I approached one of the most important moments of my life.
That evening I went to the movie with my lovely lady, Margie. The story is explained in detail in my third book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon. While there, two thoughts occurred to me. First, never drink several cups of coffee before sitting down to a movie that is over two hours. Second, and the point of this blog, is that this could be the last movie I saw with the woman I love. As I excused myself to attend to the first matter, the second started bouncing around in my head. It was November. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and this could be the last one I enjoyed. Same with Christmas, and most importantly, my lady’s birthday which falls on December 15th.
All of these thoughts had been precipitated by a comment the doctor’s nurse had said. She informed us that due to where they were operating, there was a chance of death or stroke. Seeing my look of concern, she reassured me, “It would be a mini stroke in anything.” I asked if it would also be a mini death. This was said in jest, but turned out to be more accurate than I would have thought. Again, that full story is in the book.
While attending to my business in the men’s room, these thoughts bounced around my head. Here is a fact that may surprised you, and certainly surprised me – it did not scare me. What it did was create a sense of urgency. I realized that someone had set a timer for two months and pushed go. I thought of the hourglass and the sand slowly, but continually, running from top to bottom. If there were only two months left to spend with my lady, how could I make her understand and feel the intense love that I had for her? What memories did I want to create? How could I make those holidays, and her birthday, as special and memorable as they could be? Then, I started to think about the other people in my life. How could I do the same for them? What about those of you who read this website? How could I continue to put forth a positive influence even after I was gone? My head started spinning.
As I returned to my seat next to Margie, my brain was working overtime. My fingers were drumming on the seat. Margie, half annoyed and half curious, asked what was wrong. I told her I would tell her after the movie. Unable to focus on the superheroes fighting to save the earth, I gave myself over to my thoughts. When the credits were rolling, I had to be nudged awake by my beautiful lady. I explained all about my time being fleeting and the urgency to create the best memories and convey the most love. She began by assuring me she believed I was not going to die. Seeing this did not satisfy my spinning thoughts, she said something quite simple yet profound. “Let us make a list of everything we want to do, and everything you want to make people feel.”
I began to appreciate the relativity of time. Waiting 2 months for my upcoming Bahamas vacation has seemed like forever. Having two months to think of, plan and carry out life-lasting memories? That seemed such a fleeting time it was next to impossible. As I began to work on all of this, a sobering, but powerful, thought occurred to me. We are all going to die. That may sound negative, but it really shouldn’t. It is a fact. Every single one of us has an internal hourglass that has sand running from the top to the bottom. Here is an interesting fact. None of us can see how much sand is in the top. Whether we are 18 or 80, it can be a lot, or only a few grains. There are certainly facts that can slow the sand. We can enjoy a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and most importantly, manage our stress effectively. This, however, is no guarantee. In my case, I was working out four days a week, meditating every night and still had an aneurism. This was due to a deformed heart valve I was born with that I never even knew I had. This was the same condition that killed the writer of the the movie and play Rent. He never even knew he had it. Just dropped over. That is why we should all be aware of that hourglass.
Look around at those in your life. What if you did not have tomorrow to tell them how you truly feel? You could be gone tomorrow or they could. Sobering, yes. True? absolutely. The sand is running out for all of us. We can deny it, or “not think of such dark things”, but that does not change the reality of them. What is the secret to living an amazing life in the time that we have left? I say it is by embracing those very facts!
It is the fact that life ends that makes it so valuable. If we lived forever, there would be no urgency and little value to what we did daily. The fact that life is fleeting, and can end at any second, makes it priceless. This holds true for both us and everyone we come in contact with. If there is one thing all of humanity has in common, it is the fact that we will all die. Here is what I propose. Embrace that fact. Start by thinking of what you want to be remembered for. I often suggest people take a shot at writing their own eulogy. What do you want those you love to say, and more to the point, remember about you? Then, look at if you are indeed that person. If not, what actions can you take to change that and become who you want to be? Is it something you need to say? Something you need to do? Realize the time is passing. Get yourself an hourglass to provide a poignant reminder.
There is some debate as to Crazy Horse actually saying this. However, the point is this. Live every day that if you were to die, you would be at peace with that fact. Go to sleep at night with your soul at peace. That means to make sure your loved ones understand how much you care. It means having your legacy in place so that those who come after you will continue to learn from the person you are.
This weekend, so yourself a favor. Believe in the good. In this world, where negativity can be ever present, that can be a difficult task. However, there is good all around us. True, it doesn’t often get the press the negative does. Yes, we may have to dig deeper, but if we do, love becomes so much more rewarding.
It all begins with belief. If you believe in the beauty in yourself, others and the world around you, it will manifest in your life when you least expect it. So, this weekend do yourself a favor and believe in the good and beauty that is all around us.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 