DO NOT DIE BEFORE YOU ARE BURIED.

I love quotes from Mr. Franklin. Seems old Ben had a lot going on upstairs. This one is no exception. Last post we discussed how important it is to live like it is the fourth quarter, because one day it will be. It might be today and we do not even know it. This quote kind of goes off of that thought. That is to not stop living. Life can be busy, life can be crazy. What we must remember is to never stop living it.

Living life is a lot more than just getting out of bed to take nourishment and use the rest room. It is also a lot more than going to work, paying bills and dying. Life is about love, appreciation and gratitude Those are the things that give life its flavor. It is so important to take time to do things that feed our soul as well as our wallet. We must make our joy a priority. This can seem impossible. Trust me, I know. I work a full-time day job, DJ on the weekends, write a daily blog and am working on my fourth book. There is also keeping the beautiful lady in my life happy. These are responsibilities, but also opportunities to find joy. That is our first place to look.

Can we find joy in that which we do daily? Sure, writing a blog at Starbucks is not as fulfilling as doing so on a beach in Jamaica, but there are things in which joy can be found. Every time someone in a new country joins our community that gives me a little bit of joy in my heart. Greenland I am still waiting. When I have written something that I feel will be exceptionally helpful, that is exciting. Feedback is my favorite. Reading comments and people’s thoughts and opinions. Even my day job, which many would question how you can find joy at the United States Postal Service, but you can if you are looking for it. Every project I complete, or coworker I bring a smile to is a moment to celebrate. How about what you do daily? Is there opportunities for joy you are missing?

The second way to feed our soul in the midst of our daily life is to use what Tony Robbins refers to as “N.E.T. time” that stands for “No extra time.” How can you use no extra time? It is sneaking in things that bring us joy into obligations we fulfill. Take your daily commute. How much better would it be if you did it cranking up your ‘happy playlist’ of songs that bring you joy? More on that can be found in my book, Living the Dream. How about popping in some headphones as you clean the house? You could listen to a motivational podcast or video? Looking for things that make you smile on your drive to the grocery store? Listing things you have to be grateful for while you wait in line at that same store?

Listen, these things might sound silly on the surface, but let me tell you that incorporating moments of joy and feeding our soul is what makes life worth living. The more we do so, the more flavor our life will have. It keeps the soul alive and makes life worth living. I can think of no more important thing than that. Do not die at twenty five only to be buried at seventy five.

PLAY LIKE IT IS THE FOURTH QUARTER

If you are a sports fan, you know what the fourth quarter is all about. Time is running out in the game. The chance for victory or defeat is getting tighter. Have you noticed how players seem to rise to the occasion during the last few minutes of a game? It is as if their minds become sharper, their bodies cease to feel the pain or tiredness that was starting to catch up to them. We have all seen teams that were down by what seemed like impossible odds comeback to, as they say, steal victory from the jaws of defeat.

The same holds true in the corporate world. The fourth quarter of a corporate year is when profit margins must be met. It would seem people’s talents come out then as well. Creative solutions that seemed to escape us throughout the year are forced to the surface as deadlines rapidly approach. Again, we seem to steal energy and be able to work a little harder and a little longer. We can wrap up projects we have been laboring away at in the first three quarters.

Most of us know about the two examples above. We have seen it happen, or maybe even been a part of it. What we may not realize it that it happens in other areas of our life as well. Relationships suffer the same fate. It is often not until divorce or a break-up is on the horizon that effort is put into the relationship. When the end is near, then we scramble to fix it. How many of us have heard someone say, “If only I knew they were so close to leaving I would have done more.” In order for us to not be the one saying it, we must realize something very important – it is the fourth quarter!

Whether that is our job, our relationship or the legacy we will leave behind, we never quite know when the fourth quarter is. “Oh, I am young so my fourth quarter is a way off.” you might find yourself saying. Really? Youth is not a guarantee of time. Tragedy and illness can take us all. Sure, the odds go up the more you go through life, but it can strike us at anytime. I recall being diagnosed with my heart issues. At the time I was doing cross fit at the gym and feeling great. There were zero signs anything was wrong. If it were not for a reading of a heart rate monitor, you might not be reading these words.

It is not only sickness or tragedy that can lead to an ‘early fourth quarter’. Think of relationships. One partner thinks everything is great only to come home and discover their partner has moved out after years of suffering in silence. The goal is to foster healthy communication so that this does not happen, but even then it is worth noting the possibility. Your job could suddenly need to lay off a percentage of it’s workforce for an unexpected reason. At that point you may have found yourself wishing you had been a better employee. It would also be a little too late.

If I were to offer any advice for the rest of your life it would be to live like it is the fourth quarter! Do this in as many areas of your life as you can. That is your job, your relationship, your health and your life in general. You never know when the fourth quarter will be. You could be in it and not even know it.

WORDS FROM FRIDA

Here are some powerful yet simple words of wisdom from Frida. She was a great Mexican painter and also had some of the best eyebrows! These words are not complicated, yet in them is the secret of a great relationship. It is doing away with the things we know hurt our partners. Things like lies and lack of communication. Replace them with simple things such as hope and coffee. Those two can be one in the same depending on the day. One of my favorite moments in the world is having coffee on the front porch with the love of my life. Just the two of us watching the traffic, birds and whatever else happens by. Do not take these simple, seemingly insignificant, times for granted.

Bringing hope to your partner can seem a bit more complicated, but it need not be. When I have a hard day at work, or face a cold winter day on the way home, my heart is filled with anticipation of the beautiful face that will greet me at the door and hope for the love the will fill the evening we spend together.

Lastly, let us talk about poetry. Every word out of our mouth does not have to sound like a sonnet from Robert Browning, but it would not hurt us to read a little poetry. Expanding the capacity we have for expressing our emotions is always a good thing. Gentleman, this is directed more towards you, but it goes equally for all. Telling someone, “I like your smile.” is great. Telling that person, “When I see your smile it gives me the same warm feeling I get when I see a beautiful sunrise.” goes a little bit further. They can mean the same thing, but certainly convey a different feeling.

We often want to make love this complicated thing. It is not. Do less of the bad stuff and invest more time on learning and doing the good stuff. By process of elimination, the more time you spend on learning and doing good stuff, the less chance you will have to do something that would hurt the relationship. One final thought. This works just as well in friendships, working and business relationships as it would in romantic relationships.

DO NOT STAND STILL

So many people are afraid of decisions today. Making a decision is not only a necessity, but the only path to progress. Even if you make the wrong decision, which seems to be the principle fear behind indecision, you will find out quicker the sooner you act. That way, you will be able to take corrective actions to begin to go in the right decision.

Indecision is a decision. You are deciding not to participate in life. You are shying away from your responsibility as a human being. Act, and act boldly. If the action is incorrect, you can change actions. You never get anywhere standing still.

CHANGE OF VIEW

This seems to be a lesson as old as time, but one we keep forgetting. It is this divided world, we must remember the “6” or “9” idea. Both can be right depending on your viewpoint and experiences. Both parties can be right and both parties can be different.

Have you ever ran into this in your own life? I know I have. It can be very difficult to understand that someone with a different, and often contrary, opinion to yours could be correct as well. Try to remember the “6” or “9” principle next time you run into this problem.

DON’T MAKE LIFE ABOUT STUFF.

One of the great strategies I advocate in my second book is writing your own eulogy. It will help you focus on what you want to be remembered for and let you know if you are living a life to be on track for that. If you would like to know more about this exercise and why it could be beneficial to you, feel free to check out my book, Living the Dream, available on Amazon.

With all of the people who have done this exercise, NONE have written anything about material possessions. This is interesting as the group that have done this includes many people, from many different countries with different beliefs and cultures. Still, not a single one wanted their eulogy to include mention of their “stuff”.

The irony in all of this is that we spend our lives in pursuit of pleasure and all of the trappings that go with it. We realize what truly matters in the end, but fail to focus on it. That is part of what makes the human creature a never-ending source of amusement.

Do not make your life all about your stuff. One of my favorite quotes is from Denzel Washington who said, “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” All of the time and effort we spend on stuff and we can’t take it with us. Focus on friends, family and creating memories. That’s what really matters.

THE PAIN CAN BE A BLESSING

The last couple of posts we have been discussing being the light in the darkness and appreciating the present with love and gratitude. One of the challenges of this is when we are focused on our own self-improvement, it can come with a lot of growing pains. What we must do is realize that these growing pains are a blessing. Remember we cannot have growing pains without…well…growth!

Think of when you are working your hardest to overcome a negative habit. It can be so deflating at times. You promise yourself, and maybe even those closest to you, that you are going to the gym regularly. Before you know it, a week has passed and you find yourself “too busy” to focus on your health. Maybe it is your diet that you are working on fixing. As you are enjoying your second free doughnut in the breakroom, you are so upset with yourself. You could even mutter, “It is no use. I will never be able to beat these cravings.”

What many of us fail to realize is that these moments of disappointment in ourselves are signs that we are getting better. The fact that our perceived ‘failures’ are making us doubt ourselves, are signs that our goal has become more important to us. Celebrate the fact that you are feeling more pain at straying from your goal. Then, go on to use that disappointment in yourself as fuel to better your life. Next time you say no to the doughnuts in the breakroom, or go to the gym when you say you are going to, celebrate yourself. acknowledge that you have taken a step towards becoming a better you. Next time you drop the ball and disappoint yourself, remember the fact that you are experiencing growing pains is a blessing. You are growing and it is not always easy, but you are taking a step in the right direction.

MAKE EVERY MOMENT WORTHWHILE

As I recently turned 50, life can be filled with lots of reflection. This is true no matter what your age, but as the years tick by, we are more likely to reflect on “The good old days.” The crazy part is that we seldom realized they were going to be the ‘good old days’ when we were experiencing them. In that very statement is another secret to an amazing life. While it does us no harm to reflect on good moments we have had, let us realize we are still having good moments now. It is up to us to be present enough to approach them with appreciation and love.

Allow me to share a personal example of this with you. As I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop. This particular location used to be about a half a mile down the road. It was right next to a hamburger place where you could bring your food and custard over to enjoy with your coffee. It was bigger and had more places to sit. When I reflect upon many of the memories I have had there, including writing a good portion of a few of my books, it makes me long for the ‘good old days’. What seems to fade from memory is many of the troubles of the ‘good old days’. Due to the hamburger place, parking spots were not always available. In the winter, snow took up many of the parking spots as well.

In addition to forgetting things that might not have been that good about the good old days, we should appreciate the things that are good about the present good old days. The staff at this new location are friendly and fabulous for the most part. The new location is close to a different restaurant and also a grocery store and several other shopping locations. This is handy if your fiancée may want to shop as you work on a daily motivational blog…hypothetically. Yes, it is smaller but I guess that makes is a little cozier. Not sure how the snow removal and parking will be this winter, but it could be better.

Life is a lot like this coffee shop. We can focus on what we miss about the past, or we can appreciate and love what we have in the present. Understand that the present will be the ‘good old days’ of the future. What will we reflect on tomorrow that is great today? It is up to us to discover and focus on that today.

HOW TO TURN ON THE LIGHT IN A WORLD OF DARKNESS

Last post we touched on how important it is to go from cursing the darkness, to being part of the light. This is one of the quickest ways in which we will bring about a global change that will make the world better for us all. After yesterday’s post, there were some questions in regard to the best ways to be a light in a world of darkness. There were a few that were mentioned, but today we are going to touch on a few more so that your week ahead will be filled with more light and less darkness.

We will start with what I believe is the biggest source of light you can own – an attitude of gratitude. Before we get started on why this is so, I must thank Eduardo from Italy who reminded me of the power of this light. Think of turning on a light in a dark room. The darkness is gone. Both light and darkness cannot exist in the same space at the same time. This is true in the physical realm, but what about the emotional and spiritual? Also the same. When we are a light emotionally and spiritually, at least for the moment we are being so, there can be no darkness. The best way to do this is to be grateful. When we are focused on what we have to be grateful for, really focused, we cannot be focused on what we are fearful of, angry about or whatever negative emotion threatens to derail us.

Let me assure you it can be very difficult to be grateful when the world is dark. This takes practice and the more you do it, the easier it will become. Why go through all of the effort? If you eventually are able to feel grateful, even when your world seems darkest, you will have unlocked the key to an amazing life. There is nothing more worth the effort. That is not to say it is easy to accomplish. Looking at the quote above, it gives us an idea of how to be grateful for the struggles. Let struggles teach you patience, and failure remind you that there is still room to grow. Again, this will not be easy but if you keep at it, the reward will be an amazing life.

There we have it. How to be the light. A few more suggestions I really like in the quote above. Be your own sunrise. I even like how that sounds. Speak words that heal. How powerful is that? Especially in a world filled with gossip and doom speaking! Act with purpose and think with kindness are two ways to fast track your life to be amazing. I look forward to all of you becoming more of a light with me. Let us all work a little harder to bring the light and curse the darkness a little less.

HOW TO MAKE DARKNESS DISAPPEAR

If you have read either of my first 2 books, you know the story about the quote that inspired my personal and life transformation. It was “Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

There does appear to be a lot of darkness in the world these days. What we need is more light. We can all be a part of this solution. There are some great suggestions in the quote above. Be kind to yourself, love others and stay hopeful. It mentions when the path is unclear. I say try to develop an attitude of positive expectation. Even when life is going sideways, if you expect something positive to happen, eventually you will be right!

Remember, you can’t curse the darkness away in life anymore than you can in a darkened room. What do you do when you find yourself in a dark room? You turn on a light! Why should it be any different when you find yourself in a dark world? Be the light today. I would love to hear your suggestions for adding light in the comments below. I’ll leave you with the quote that inspired me.