YOUR WEEKEND VACATION

It is Friday! The weekend is so close we can taste it. It is our 2 days of vacation from the grind of the 9 to 5. For those of us who still work on the weekend, I feel your pain. For most of us it is a brief chance to focus on friends, family and errands we never got a chance to focus on. A little vacation if you will. The picture above is where I would like to vacation. It is actually where I would not mind living. For you it might be a cabin in the mountains or a penthouse in the middle of the city. Whatever the location, we all have an ideal escape. The odds are we are not currently there.

As I write this I am sitting in my favorite coffee shop I enjoy creating these bits of wisdom for you. The sun is shinning and if I close my eyes I could at least imagine I am writing in a coffee shop in the tropics. For a few moments I can escape reality. This is so important. In a world that can offer us for too many stressful things, it can be vital to have an escape. It is painfully obvious that many of us do not give enough attention to our mental health. Some push ourselves until we snap. We hear about the often tragic effect of letting this happen.

Can closing our eyes and picturing ourselves at a resort in the Maldives really save us from snapping on our coworkers and creating a situation we regret? The answer is both yes and no. Certainly we need to address the root causes of our stress. Taking a mini mental vacation will not do that. What it will do is give us a chance to pause and take a breath. This often gives us the ability to face those challenges in a clearer and healthier mindset. It can save us from yelling at our children, coworker or spouse. This can often make a bad situation worse.

If you are anything like me, and judging by some comments many of you are, you will want to take this up a notch. Although the closing your eyes while writing a blog at Starbucks is fun, it is more powerful the more intense you make this experience. Set aside five or more minutes several times a week. Let the family and friends know you are not to be disturbed during your ‘mental vacation’. Go where you will not be disturbed. This could be a bedroom, your favorite place in nature or anywhere else that works for you. Here is where it gets fun and where you can get creative!

Now that you have found your spot and hit the ‘Do Not Disturb’ button on your life, what is next? Try to create the most immersive experience you can. We are going to use the beach scenario as an example because it is the one I am most familiar with. This will work with whatever vacation you choose to go on. Important to note that you can go different places at different times. Try to gather materials that will engage as many of your senses as possible. In my beach example, this can include a video of the beach with sounds of ocean waves. How about some vanilla or coconut scented oils or candles? A creamy coconut drink? We are already up to 4 of the senses. Do this in a nice hot bath and you will be up to all five!

Do this for as long as, and as often as, you need. You will experience a decrease in stress and an increase in a feeling of overall well-being. Who knows? It could help you manifest a real vacation where you can soak in memories to use in future mental vacation moments!

WHAT A BEAVER CAN TEACH US ABOUT LIFE

We might want to begin by clearing up a little confusion regarding the title of this post. Yes, it does say ‘beaver’ in the title. No, this is not a picture of a beaver. Yes, it is a picture of the moon. It was taken outside of my work this morning. It is known as the ‘Beaver Full Moon’. That is why we used the word beaver in the title. Now that we have all of that straight, let us focus on what it can teach us about life and how to live it better.

Throughout history, there have been many beliefs attached to the full moon. Some based on science. Most based on myth. The one I would take a look at revolves around using the cycles of the moon to focus on different aspects of our lives. This is not about some esoteric or metaphysical thought, but how to use those for a very practical application.

When we are looking to improve our lives, there are really 2 avenues to go about that. We are trying to add healthy attitudes and behaviors and we are also trying to eliminate unhealthy behaviors and attitudes. That is pretty much a given. Trying to do them both at once can be very overwhelming. The metaphysical thought about the moon cycles is that you should use them to focus on one of these at a time. As the moon goes from full to new moon, thus getting smaller, you should focus on things you wish would grow smaller in your life. Eat less junk. Have less negative self-talk. Take your pick. When the moon is going from new moon to full moon, thus getting bigger, you should focus on things you wish to grow in your life. This could be getting more physical activity. It could be showing more gratitude to your partner or in general. Again, this goes for any healthy habit.

I am not sure if the cycle of the moon helps our endeavors or not. What I do know is it is a constant rather large reminder in the sky we can use to help us on our journey of self-improvement. It can also reminder to focus on one side of the coin and then the other. We are less likely to be overwhelmed and more likely to be successful.

THERE ARE ALWAYS OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP

One slightly redeeming quality about tragedy is that it provides us an opportunity to make a difference. A chance to step up and help our fellow human beings. Not only fellow humans, but animals, plants and the earth at large.

Recently, most of us know Jamaica was hit by a devastating hurricane. As I see stories of the aftermath, I am reminded how many different areas can be impacted. It saddens me to think many of these people who do not have much to begin with, have lost even that. At the same time, there are great stories of people and companies stepping up to offer free meals and assistance of all kinds!

This certainly isn’t the only place where people are suffering. The war continues in the Ukraine, there are many countries with human rights and starvation issues. Each one of these present a unique opportunity to help. Make sure you are using a trusted platform to do so. Even if you are unable to do so with your time or money, offering focused thoughts and prayers for people in these affected situations can make a big difference.

Everyday the world presents problems. That means every day we have the opportunity to make a positive difference.

THE BEST DIET FOR SUCCESS IS EATING ELEPHANT 🐘

Everyone is looking for the next fad diet. Whether that is for more energy, more muscle or less weight. Here is a diet for more success! That’s right. If you want to get ahead at work, in your health or even in your relationships – start eating elephants!

Of course we are not advocating eating actual elephants. I’m rather fond of the big guys. No, it is a reference, as you see in the first picture, to tackling a big problem. Many of us, myself included, will approach a big goal or challenge and become overwhelmed.

This could be getting in shape, getting out of debt, cleaning up your diet, or even cleaning up the house. We see eight million things we have to do and can’t imagine getting them all done. Instead, we should focus on getting one of them done. You couldn’t eat an entire meal at once, nor can you do much of anything all at once.

Our good friends in the wonderful country of Jamaica are struggling to repair the damage brought by hurricane Melissa. The damage can seem overwhelming. I can only imagine what they are facing. The story is the same. The way to build back is clearing one tree at a time. Helping one family at a time and taking one day at a time.

Even if all you are dealing with is a house that looks like it was hit by a hurricane, it is still one step at a time. You got this!

BE UNSTOPPABLE THIS MONDAY!

Do not let the fact that it is Monday stop, or even intimate you. Discover what is holding you back from reaching your goals. Make that your enemy. Remember to focus on what you can control. Placing the blame on outside people and circumstances only puts you under their control and makes you weak.

The truth is most of the time it is not a lack of resources that stop you, but a lack of resourcefulness. Use those people and circumstances for motivation, not for excuses. Do not let them stop you. Find what you can do inside of you to improve your situation and move closer to your goals. You’ve got this!

RULES FOR COUPLES ARGUMENTS

Many people ask what the secret of success to the success of my relationship with my beautiful lady is. It is not just focusing on how to create more happy moments, although that is important. Equally important is knowing what to do when the sun doesn’t seem to be shining on your love.

Knowing how to handle the “valleys” of a relationship is just as important as celebrating the “peaks”. Take a look at the list above. It is a good set of rules to have in place to ensure your love lasts a lifetime. Tell me what are some of the rules you have for disagreements that keep your love strong?

WHY “YOU’VE CHANGED” CAN BE A GREAT THING TO HEAR

Has anyone ever told you, “You have changed.” Usually, it is not a good thing. They are attempting to bring to our attention that a behavior or attitude that we used to have is changed. That makes most people uncomfortable. This holds true if our new behavior or mindset is contrary to the one they knew us to have. Perhaps you used to be the life of the party. You could drink a few beers, slam a few shots and would just take the next day off of work. Now, you drink water, are focused on your fitness and show up to work on time. If the person hung around with you before, it might make them uncomfortable to deal with the change. This is even more true if they have stayed the same.

Many people fear being left behind by friends who evolve. In some cases this fear is legitimate. If you are looking to change a behavior, it is quite helpful to no longer associate with individuals who engage in that behavior you are looking to leave behind. If you were formally close to that individual, it can be a little painful for that to happen. If you are the person worrying about being left behind, it can not only be painful, but scary as well. That is why they will tell you that you have changed with an attitude of making you feel as though you are not being authentic to yourself. Part of this is them transferring their fear and disappointment in their own progress on you.

A greater reason for people using the phrase, “You’ve changed.” is our inability to communicate our feelings. There really should be a class taught to us when we are young on how to properly say the often difficult things that we feel. Just yesterday I heard it said that “They tell you that you have changed because they do not know how to say you have grown.” That is something we must understand, growth takes change. If we stay the same we can stay stagnate. The picture above captures it beautifully. To become a butterfly, we cannot remain a caterpillar. Growth can be painful and many may accuse us of changing who we are, but just remember that is because they do not know how to tell us that we have grown.

ARE YOU SCOREBOARD WATCHING?

I heard something the other day that I really liked. I was listening to a motivational video and the person speaking, I think it was Eric Thomas, asked, “Are you scoreboard watching, or are you doing something to put points on the scoreboard?” We have all seen this in sports. You have players who look up at the scoreboard to see how the game is progressing. If the game is close, they might be far more focused. If they are behind and the game is drawing to a close, they will work harder. If the have a comfortable lead on that scoreboard, they might relax a little. If they are behind and there is little, if no, hope of catching up they might stop trying all together.

This is easy to see in the sports arena. It is also true in life. Many people are too busy looking at the scoreboard of life. This could be comparing themselves on social media, looking at how much money they have in the bank or just how far along they are on the goal they are pursuing. If they have a bill coming up and the bank account is a little low, they show up at work and are a great employee. If their friends on social media are all doing better than they are, maybe they feel like giving up and throwing in the towel. Maybe they look in the mirror and see they lost a few pounds so they indulge themselves in a cheat meal.

Then you see the opposite end of the spectrum. Those players who are giving it all in the game whether the game is close, they are far ahead or even when there is no hope to win at all. Coaches love these kind of players. Do you know who else loves this kind of mentality? The universe and world at large. When you do your best at work whether you have a bill to pay or not. When you stick to your health plan even after it appears it is working.

As an author, you need this mentality. It is exciting when you start writing a book. It is equally as exciting as you near publication. In between those two points are endless hours that you must labor intensely whether it seems to be working or not. It is the only way to succeed. The same is true about life in general. You must work hard no matter what life looks like. If you only work hard when motivation is there, you will achieve little or nothing. That may sound like an easy life, but it will actually make life quite difficult.

Ask yourself the tough question, “Am I scoreboard watching or am I doing something to put points on the scoreboard?” Does your behavior depend on outside circumstances beyond your control? If so, it is doubtful you will achieve any meaningful success in life.

HOW TO MULTIPLY RICHES IN YOUR LIFE.

Many of you know how important being grateful is to an amazing life. We will skip the new-age metaphysical aspects of this, although they are important, and stick with practical reasons this is so. When you focus on what you have to be grateful for, you are on the lookout for just that, things to be grateful for. It stands to reason that if you are looking for them, you are more likely to find them. What would happen if you started seeing more things to be grateful for? Your life would feel more amazing. That makes sense, does it not?

Another thing to consider is when you express those feelings of gratitude. When you let the person helping you at the coffee shop know that they are appreciated. How do you think your service will be next time? When you come in they will think to themselves, “There is the person who said they appreciated me.” If you know you are appreciated, how will that make you act? You will probably want to do more for someone who appreciates you than someone who does not. Imagine how this could work with your friends, or even more so with your romantic partner? The more you appreciate them, which will make them feel good, the more they will feel like doing things to be appreciated. This exchange will then give you more to appreciate.

I am hoping you can see how gratitude really can give you more to be grateful for. It is not some strange esoteric principle, but really a matter of exchange that benefits all parties. Considering this, why would you not want to be more grateful and do so more often?

SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR SCROLLING 📜

This popped up on my social media feed on Sunday, so I thought I would share it here on our uplifting Wednesday post. Not only is it a great reminder that indeed that we are all amazing in some way that that we all deserve to be happy, but that it is good to be reminded of it.

I would encourage all of us to share more things like this not only on our social media platforms, but in real life too. Letting someone, be that friend or stranger, know that they are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy can do a lot more than we think. All of us face challenges we never share. We can get wrapped up in the insanity of life and forget our value. To be reminded of that may help someone pursue their purpose, bring a light to their life, or even save their life. Doesn’t that make it worthwhile?

Think of ways in which we can remind each other that we are amazing, appreciated and deserve to be happy. It would be great if you can share them in the comments. That way we can all do a better job of inspiring each other.