Have you ever found yourself facing a task that seems insurmountable? Ever have a day where it just seems all you do is learn lesson after lesson? Have you ever thought to yourself that on those days cloning might not be such a bad thing after all? That having ‘another you’ to do all the tough stuff in life, to experience all the rough times would be rather nice? I know I have. If there could be another Neil to go to work for me, If there could be another Neil to go to funerals, deliver bad news and all the other things that steals the sunshine from my life, boy that would be great! Now this comes from a person who will tell you that challenges form us into who we have become. That much like fire hardens steel, we are shaped and molded by the fires and trails of life. I know this and more importantly I truly believe this. Still, sometimes after you have just got into a fight with a friend or family matter, or you just found out you forgot to pay a bill on time we can all find ourselves thinking the same thing, “I know somehow I can learn and grow from this experience, but damn it sucks right now” Other times it can be hard to see how all these challenges serve us. Well I recently heard a quote from the amazing Jim Rohn, a late, great motivation speaker and author. He said “Nobody can do your push ups for you” Think about that for a moment, no matter how much money, how much power you have you can not have someone else work out for you and suddenly you are in shape. They could go to the gym, you could watch them sweat, you could even have them give you every detail of the experience, but still they are going to be the ones who benefit because they were the ones who put in the effort. As a payoff they will be the ones with lower stress levels, healthier immune systems, and less risk of injury. Although working out is an excellent example it is not the only area that this holds true in. Every struggle we make it through, every challenge we face is ‘adding muscle’ to our character. It is strengthening our spiritual fortitude. People could tell us about their struggles and their challenges, and we can even learn from them and benefit from knowing how they handled it. Still they will be the ones who could benefit the most from going through the event. So next time you find yourself asking “Why me?” or wishing science could come up with a clone for you, remember the powerful words from Mr. Rohn and repeat them to yourself or to anyone else lamenting their struggles. “Nobody can do your push ups for you”
WHO? WHAT? WHERE? WHY?
“It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love, or how you love, it matters only that you love”
-John Lennon
A few months ago I had written about a class reunion I attended. I’ll spare all my friends and myself the year for purposes of imagining I am still young. After that a group of us wished to continue to get together. I invited a few people and one in particular was greeted with much chagrin. “Why did you ask him along? He is always such a jerk to everyone?” was pretty much the general consensus. I admit this gent was not the most enduring fellow and I could understand why people may feel as they do. Then I began to think, should we only show love and kindness to those whom we feel have earned it? True a seed grows the best in fertile soil, but is a garden not most appreciated in the city? I once heard a saying that I am about to totally screw up but the idea went something like this “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours they need it more than you do” In an earlier post I had written about two of my friends Kim and Stephanie who do so much for others I am often compelled to let them know that they are truly angels without wings. They usually accept these compliments as well as the ones they receive from others with modesty and grace befitting the wonderful people they are. Their kindness comes naturally and so quite often is taken for granted, so I find it important to stop and appreciate it. I know my life would be a lot less without them in it. Still I have a few people on the opposite end of the spectrum. They do not seem to do much for others, or show much concern for anything that does not serve them. As a general rule I do not have many of these people in my life, but I have learned a new an interesting thing about these people. Sometimes they have some of the greatest response to compliments out of anyone. Just the other day I was having breakfast with one of these people and had mentioned I was really happy to hear of a nice thing he had done for a mutual friend of ours. Just the mere act of being recognized as a kind person seemed to improve his disposition and foster a new sort of altruistic side of him as soon I discovered he had done the same favor for 3 other of our friends. My point is this, we all have a wide array of different people in our lives. Some kind and deserving of our love, some not so much and several in between. Show them all a little love. The ones who deserve it are often taken for granted for all the amazing things they do and a little appreciation and love will let them know it makes a difference and will make it easier to continue being the people who bring so much to our lives. Those who seem not to be deserving of any love, perhaps just a little will soften their hearts and bring the biggest change. So like the famous singer of the Beatles said “It matters only that you love” I encourage you to pick at least one person from each group this weekend and show them a little love. You always benefit by brining more love into the world.
THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS
Sometimes it is too easy to get hung up on details. recently I went to a surprise birthday party for a dear friend of mine. She was surprised and seemed genuinely pleased. The night was filled with plenty of joy and a great time was being had by all. When I happened to catch a glance of the friend who had thrown her the party. She seemed quite unhappy bordering on downright depressed. I caught her alone for a second and inquired what seemed to be that matter as the party seemed to be going swimmingly. She began to list off all that had not gone according to plan. The guests had not all arrived before the birthday girl and thus were not able to yell surprise. The person who was supposed to bring some of the food had not even shown up and she even forgot to invite some of the girls friends and was unable to contact others while still keeping it a surprise. I couldn’t help but stare at her blankly. “Do you not see how much fun everyone is having?” I asked. Noting the having the most fun was the girl for whom she had put the whole party on for. “It could’ve been a lot better” she muttered. After pondering mentioning the lack of dancing-girls I decided to mention how worse it could’ve went. She managed to keep it a surprise for one. The birthday girl felt special and grateful. Nobody missed whatever food was supposed to be brought by the missing guest. Quite often we can focus too much on the details and fail to look at the success of the big picture. In every phase of life something is sure to go the opposite of the way we had planned. Weddings, birthday parties, careers, you name it. It’s important to remember not only does this often lead to some of the best stories, but also to different ideas and paths we may have not thought of. What may seem like a failure can be the seed to the greatest blessing ever. On a side note, the lady who missed that party showed up at a party a few weeks later which angered the friend who had thrown the surprise party weeks before. About an hour into the evening people were complaining about the negative energy she had brought with her and how all her food had tasted salty. Issues that had not come up a few weeks before. So remember if your going to focus on details instead of focusing on the ones that are going wrong and begin to tear apart your evening, focus on the ones that are going right and build from there.
WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE…
In place of the usually bits of wisdom and inspiration we have a special announcement. Today marks the one year anniversary of the very first post on this blog. Today I am feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude to quite a few people. Ironically the first post I ever created was entitled ‘gratitude’ If you haven’t read it before I encourage you to scroll back and check it out. Several reasons this is good. One, is to see how much better this blog has gotten. Two, to see how full circle we have come and three because out of all the traits you can develop to turn your life around gratitude would probably be the biggest. it is impossible to feel fearful while feeling grateful. It is impossible to feel sad while feeling completely grateful. I just want to take a second and throw a few names out there that make this all possible. I want to thank Aileen who in her own unique way helped me discover my true purpose in life and get this thing all turned around. I wish to thank Kristina who not only continues to encourage me, but gave me great information and motivation to do both this blog and my upcoming book. Never would I thought we would have become such good friends, but I am glad we did. Alysa and Carmen, I know I have mentioned you a million times, but truly you have no idea how much your words that one fateful evening pushed me forward. To Kim who daily gives me so much feedback and insight which helps make everything I do that much better. you are amazing and honestly I’m not sure I would’ve kept this up without you. Kierston, thank you for reminding me of what is possible when we follow our dreams! Margie, thank you for being a recent blessing to my life. Your creative influence will only continue to be a greater blessing. Janell, thank you for all the well wishes. May your journey find it’s joy. Michelle, my amazing sister, not only do you give me great constructive criticism, but you are a better promoter than I will ever be. Love you to pieces. To my publisher Brooke, you must have the patient of a saint. I thank you for all your understanding! All the people who read this blog, take time to comment or share this site, or now our Facebook page with those you love and care about or just people you know are looking to improve your life, I thank you for coming with me on this amazing journey! I promise tomorrow we will return to the inspiration. As we look forward to all that we are going to become and accomplish let us have a moment to pause and be grateful for all we have learned and become wiser, healthier and more enlightened this past year!
A LESSON FROM A COURSE…
“You cannot give what you do not have”
-from ‘A Course in Miracles’
This definition is fairly simple in material terms. If you have a favorite charity you wish to help out financially you must first have the money yourself. If you wish to borrow your neighbor a cup of sugar, you must have a cup of sugar to borrow. What many people fail to grasp is how this relates to things of a non-material nature. It especially holds true in people who consider themselves to be ‘givers’ or care-takers. Quite often I see people so give of themselves they end up depleted. In some ways I throw myself in this category. Have you ever found it difficult to say ‘no’ to a friend who is asking for your help? Have you ever found yourself stretched a little thin? Do you even feel guilty if you have to turn someone down because you are sick or even just exhausted? If so you may want to consider that quote. What can seem so obvious to us in a material sense holds just as true in the emotional sense as well. If you do not have love for yourself, it is nearly impossible to give the best of you and your love to anyone else. If you are tired and irritable you will not be the best friend to spend time with. If your mind is racing on a million different issues you will not be the best person to listen to your friends challenges. In all these cases we must take care of ourselves in order to best take care of others. Much like the need to have the money to make the charity donation, the more love we have for ourselves, the more we can give to others. The more we learn to forgive ourselves for our own mistakes the easier it is to do the same for others. It is not often the material can teach us a spiritual lesson, but in this case before you agree to lend your neighbor that cup of sugar be sure you have one in your own kitchen!
KEEP SWINGING…
“You just can’t beat the person who never gives up”
-Babe Ruth
When people ask me the secret to my ability to see the positive side of things and keep a bright outlook I offer them many of the secrets I employ. Most of which I have shared on this site. Still if there was one trait, one thing that has kept me on the right track despite outside circumstances it is this – I never give up – Everyday I see people who give up on a lot of things. Give up on a new idea they were trying. Give up on a new skill they are trying to learn. Give up on the dreams they were chasing. To the worst thing of all, giving up on life itself. No doubt there are days when we need to take a step back and catch our breath, or just recharge, but that is not giving up. Quite often most people stop digging their mines when they are mere inches from gold.
When we think of Babe Ruth what do we think of? Did you know ‘The Babe’ was a great pitcher as well? Most people associate Babe Ruth with hitting home runs and well they should. For quite some time he was the all-time leader in home runs. The home run is baseball’s equivalent to a personal victory in life. A home run does not always win the game, but sometimes it can. It always adds to the joy and confidence of the player hitting it, however. So how about you? How do you feel when you ‘hit a home run’ in life? Be it finishing the project at the office or scoring high on that term paper. Do you not find the things you do following you do with more confidence and enthusiasm? That is all well and good, but let’s face it in our game of life, we can’t all be home run hitters like the Babe Ruth, or can we? Let us look at the opposite side of the coin; striking out. When you strike out in life, you lose a job, you get in a fight with your spouse or luck just seems against you, How do you approach the things following that? If you are anything like most people your confidence is down, your enthusiasm may be lacking. Quite often approaching things with this state becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. By approaching life with a down-trodden attitude we often miss opportunities we would’ve seized with a more zealous approach. So what is the solution? How when we find ourselves in a ‘hitting slump’ can we still keep our attitude up? I think taking a new look at some facts may help us. Did you know every year he played Babe Ruth struck out more than he homered? It’s true. Look it up if you feel the need. Even in today’s game a .300 hitter is considered good. That means that they get a hit only 3 out of every 10 times they attempt. These are the guys getting paid top dollar. What is their secret? How come they do not give up after failing 70 percent of the time? The answer is simple and it is the secret I use to maintain a positive attitude and you can use to succeed in any avenue of life you are pursuing. The secret is this…They keep swinging. Quite often if we persist we demonstrate a faith in ourselves that gives us and everyone around us confidence. “Persistence is just another word for faith. If we didn’t have faith we wouldn’t persist” Said Earl Nightingale. So show some faith in yourself and persist, when you strike out at something in life and you feel like a failure, remember just to keep swinging!
NEW AVENUES TO EXPLORE…
Sometimes a path seems so obvious that you cannot believe you have not wandered down it before. Such is a new Facebook page dedicated to this very blog. In a never-ending search to reach more souls dedicated to and searching for ways to live life to the fullest and bring as much joy to their lives as well as the lives of others, I forgot the ever popular social media giant. So for those of you who may be looking for additional motivational and inspirational ideas, or just feel more comfortable reading a Facebook page I invite you to join our new page. It is simply Secret2anamazinglife. There you can interact by posting your own comments, pictures or inspirational stories. You can also view other followers advice on living the most joyful and positive life you can.
After accomplishing this it caused me to pause and ponder, which I must confess to doing quite often. I began to ask myself some very interesting questions. Unlike the ones I ask when I have had too much rum, these you may also want to ask yourself as well. I began to wonder what other paths have been presented to me that I may have overlooked. New places to meet friends? New places to donate my time and ideas? New places to help? So this week I am going to try to step out of the box and see what I might be missing. I encourage you to do the same. Much like our new online avenue to bring joy to others, where can we do the same offline? Take a look in your own life. Where/what/who would benefit from having a little more of you around. If you have any suggestions for us to share, feel free to leave them in the comments here or on our new page and thank you for all of your support!
FROM A LITTLE BABY…
“A man is what he is from the time he is a little baby. It is just how long it take him to discover what that is”
-Bob Marley when asked how long he had been a Rastafarian
This is one of my favorite quotes from Mr. Marley. So how we discover what we truly are and why we are here? Certainly knowing those to facts can add great joy and power to your life. Does it involve hours of meditation and introspective contemplation? I sure hope not because I find it hard to sit still on a three-hour flight to Las Vegas. Actually it is a lot easier than one might think. A great way to get the answers to both of these life-altering questions is to pay attention to how you feel. When you are doing things that make you feel good you are accessing a part of you that is in some way a part of who your true self is. When a certain activity makes you feel good and you generally excel at it, that is a large indication that you are living some aspect of your life’s purpose. Again allow you to give me an example from my own life. At the post office when I helping people discover the best way to send that surprise romantic gift to their husband or wife I share in their excitement and feel good. When I am in back plugging in numbers to some report to record mail volume…not so much. When I am at the bar decorating for some event I am fairly excited, but when I am behind the bar and people are toasting each other, the music is making everybody dance I am far more excited! If the people in the bar happen to be lovely ladies I am even more…ok well you get the idea. What does that tell me? I probably would make a terrible accountant, but a pretty good entertainer of some fashion. It also speaks volumes to my appreciation for the beauty of the fairer sex, but again a topic for a different day. Even different aspects of something that gives me joy over all can tell me something. When I am writing a book designed to assist others in discovering the beauty and joy in their own lives I am excited and can’t wait to share it. When I am actually out there talking to people and hearing how some bit of information I am thrilled beyond belief. That tells me I enjoy personal interaction even more than the interaction of the written word, which I also enjoy. So this week try this same experiment on yourself. Take note of things you do in your life that bring joy and things that do not. Ask yourself what this is telling you about yourself. By the time you are done, you will be able to connect with that voice inside each one of us that is trying desperately to point us in the right direction to go with our lives! May all of your discoveries bring you joy and light my friends!
FINDING THE SECRET TO LIFE IN JUNK MAIL!
I must say again that one of the best side effects of dedicating my life to the secrets of discovering new ways to uncover joy is the ability to turn things that annoy most people daily into moments of inspiration! As fortune would have it for those of you reading it, you can use my experience to quickly turn things in your life from bringing you stress and annoyance to moments of joy and inspiration. Today’s example…junk mail. We all get it. I see piles of it being recycled at the post office daily. catalogs, advertisements, coupons, charity requests. So how can all of these pieces of paper that keep our mailboxes warm deliver any sort of inspiration? Anyone who follows this blog on a fairly regular basis knows that I am a fan of the law of attraction. It often intertwines with the secret to happiness. For those of you not familiar with the law of attraction in a nutshell it is the theory that like attracts like and that our thoughts go a good way into establishing our reality. So what does all of this metaphysical theory have to do with the add for the local automotive repair shop? It provides us a great reminder of this law and its power. It also gives us a great insight into where we place our focus. Still confused? Let me provide you with a personal example in hopes to tie all of this together. One day I had ordered some energy vitamins from this website geared towards men’s products. Soon there after interesting ads starting showing up in my mailbox. Ads for adventure vacations. Ads for vitamins to give you a little extra energy in the bedroom, even a few letters from ladies who were apparently a little lonely but would gladly be my friend for a small fee. It was obvious, the vitamin site had sold my address. It struck me how this was a great parallel to the law of attraction. When you focus your thoughts in a certain kind of subject matter it is like ordering a product from a catalog. The universe soon starts sending you products similar in fashion. Thinking of how much weight you are gaining and staying upset about it? Perhaps the button may pop off your pants. A shirt you just wore that was shrunk in the dryer fits too tight and must be given away. You weigh to much for the children’s ride at the carnival. What is the power in all of this? It works the opposite way as well. When you start focusing on how grateful you are for a certain friend and all the wonderful things they do for you, you may very well start meeting people of a similar nature or your friends may start to go out of their way to do kind things for you. It also is a great way to shed a light on where are focus is. In the ‘recommended pages’ on my Facebook page which is the equivalent to online junk mail I am an receiving requests for pages with positive quotes, marketing advice, advice for authors. It shows me where my focus is. So next time you pull heaps of junk mail out of your mailbox, ask yourself this important question “What can I learn from this?” and “how can I use this junk to inspire me?” Now, I even have an idea for telemarketers…but I will save that for another day! Have a great weekend my friends!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Recently I was out on the town with a person very close to me and what to me seemed out of nowhere asked me a question in a rather spirited manner. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Catching me a bit of guard, I didn’t quite know what to say. Which, for anyone who knows me is a miracle itself. Although I contemplated beginning to list every short coming I thought I had I guessed they were seeking an answer to a more specific question. After requesting a little clarity I discovered what was bothering them about me that day. This was her reply “we have been to the different places today and you have went out of your way to be overly nice to everyone we have encountered. What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you ever just do your business?” Funny thing is this was the second time this issue has been brought to my attention. It’s true in this busy world people often do not have time for any conversation that is not completely necessary. So why bother being friendly? Great question. Being friendly in the course of interacting brings a host of benefits to both parties. First of all the obvious answer is you make the person you are being nice to feel good. That is pretty straight forward. You also create a foundation for future relations. How is that possible. If you take a few extra minutes to show kindness to a stranger that person is far more likely to remember you. In any future interactions you have with that person they are likely to be far more pleasurable than if you have just conducted your business. You also build a relationship with that person which you never know when that may come in handy. We are all so interdependent it only makes sense to be in good graces with as many different people and as many people as you can. Plus, in any situation you make someone smile, you leave feeling better. Good ahead and be nice for selfish reasons! So if you find yourself not even extending a simple decent courtesy to people you encounter not to mention trying to spread joy wherever you go I must ask you a question, What the hell is wrong with you??
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 