Merry Christmas to those of you who are celebrating. No matter what holiday or celebration you are going to, there are always situations that can catch you off guard. Maybe someone you did not expect to be there shows up and you find yourself without a gift for them. Perhaps you thought everyone agreed to not exchanging gifts only to discover you misunderstood.
These situations can leave you a little embarrassed. Let’s face it, on Christmas day the gift options are limited. There are, however, 2 gift options that are perfect for anyone whether they were on your list or not. These gifts are not only guaranteed to be a success, they are so rare and priceless, they will be enjoyed by anyone you give them to.
These two gifts are being present and genuine gratitude and appreciation. Before you roll your eyes at the notion, give it some thought. How many times can you look around a restaurant and see a couple out to dinner with both of their faces buried in their phones? In a “look at me” world, how many people stop to tell you, “Do you know what i really appreciate about you?” How many times has someone genuinely told you what they are grateful for in their lives?
If you put your heart and soul into these two gifts, you will be the life of the party and make everyone’s holidays bright!
One of my favorite things I have ever written (see my book Living the Dream) and also my favorite YouTube video I have done (search Neil Panosian on YouTube) is writing your own eulogy. The reason why is that it offers an amazing solution to many of the things we struggle with in our life. That can include direction and clarity. There are countless books read and billions of dollars spent on finding our life’s purpose and on the best way to live our life.
The irony is that it really is not that complicated. One of the quickest and easiest ways to answer these questions is to write our eulogy. When we ponder what we would like our life to be remembered for, we know whether the actions we are currently taking are moving us in that direction or not. We also know what to do and what not to do that will have us living a life we want to be remembered for. Like planting a tree we will never sit under. Taking actions that will have a positive effect on future generations is what not only gives our life purpose, it is what creates a great legacy.
Recently, more value to this writing your own eulogy has been brought to my attention. That is thinking of specific areas of your life and certain people. Think of people that you consider important in your life. What would you like them to say at your funeral? Even though you will not be there to hear it, the point is that it will be what they remember you for. This will not be the same for everyone, obviously. What it does provide is direction on how we should treat and act with each person individually. When I think about my love, Margie, I think of one set of actions. When I think of my friend Nick, the actions are obviously different. However, each ‘eulogy’ would give us the proper actions we should take.
In what is a somewhat less personal aspect, think of other areas of your life. How would you like to be remembered at work? Someone who always complains or someone who always encourages others? Either way, you know the actions to take. How about in your community? Do you want to be remembered at all? If so, make sure to get involved. It could be as the helpful neighbor. You could get involved in community groups or neighborhood clean ups. To, of course, how you want to be remembered as a person. This may seem vague, but it should not be. It is how you act and treat people on a daily basis. How are you to retail employees? How are you when you talk on the phone to people? How do treat strangers and people who can do nothing for you? These people may not give a eulogy at your funeral, but their memories will be there just the same.
As you can see, writing a eulogy can offer a lot to your life while you are living. It can offer direction and clarity. This is true with not only your life in general, but specific people and situations as well. When your life seems turned upside down and you are not sure what direction to go, I suggest doing two things. First, list everything you are grateful for. This will give you a better mindset and help you see that you still have a lot going for you. The second is to write your eulogy and think about what you would want people to say about you. Is that currently where you are? If not, what actions do you need to take to correct that? The answers will reveal themselves and you will know where to go from there.
This could not be more true! When I am on my way to work in the dark of 4am, and the temperature is well below freezing, I think to myself, “This would be a lot worse if I were sick.” Our health is one of those things we not only take for granted, but seldom notice until it is gone or compromised. The irony of this is that our health gives us so much to be grateful for. This is true even when it is not perfect. For example, I have a bad heart and breathing issues that I will have the rest of my life. I could lament this daily. It would be true and reasonably justified. What would that get me? A life feeling like I was somehow a victim. It would put a dark cloud over every day. Instead, I am grateful that they do not always crop up and that there is still plenty I can do despite them.
In addition, the challenges that our health occasionally provide is a great reminder not to take it for granted. It is also a reminder that to a large extent we have control over our health. It is said that up to 90% of disease is lifestyle driven. Therefore, despite what big pharma may wish for you to believe, our health is not the result of proper pharmaceutical regimen, but one of a healthy lifestyle. The healthier we live, the less of their products we will need. It will not only help our health, it will help our wallets as well!
Another benefit to focusing on the health we do have and what we are able to do, is that it improves both our physical health and mental health as well. We see our health, and our lives, as one of possibilities instead of one of limitations. This will not only reduce our stress and increase our inner peace, but will provide us motivation to continue our journey of health both mental and physical. Gratitude is one of the best prescriptions for health you can take. By appreciating our health, we are less likely to take it for granted.
Next time you find yourself focused on one of the challenges of your life, remember to pause and appreciate the health that you do have. When you are feeling down because your health is not where you want it to be, remember to be grateful for the health you do have. This will not only lift your spirits, it will open your eyes to opportunities you may miss if you were only focused on illness and problems of life.
Another great quote from one of my favorite Stoics. How many of us judge the success of our days, or our lives, by how much we harvest? How much money did we make? How much power and influence did we earn? Did we get that promotion? Did we get affection and love from our partner? Did our friends praise us? Not only does this cause stress, it can make us a self-centered jackass. If only there was a way to handle our life and decide whether it was successful that was less stressful and moved us closer to becoming the best version of ourselves.
There is! That is how many seeds we planted. What on earth does this analogy mean? Looking at the examples above, let us figure that out. How much money did we make? What if we instead looked at how much we invested? What we did that may help us earn money in the future? Did we review our budget? Did we get that promotion? How about the work we put in that will separate us from our coworkers and show what a valuable employee we are? Setting us up to earn promotions in the future? How much power and influence did we earn? This is a tricky one because it is rarely understood by those looking for power and influence. One of the best ways to get both is to find as many ways as you can to be of service. The more you can give to any situation, the more valuable and significant you are. Next we can combine the relationships of our intimate partner and our friends. Why? The solution is pretty much the same. If we are looking for love and affection, or we are looking for praise, we must ask ourselves what we did to earn it. I can tell you on a personal level, when I do something that will bring joy, peace or love to my Margie, my heart soars! Not only that, I usually receive a healthy dose of love in return. When I can do something to help my friends, or express genuine appreciation for them, it results in a reciprocation. That is not the reason you should do it. Always be genuine, but the best way to earn the respect of others is to show them respect.
One important lesson of all of these is that you have little control over how the harvest of your life turns out. Just like growing crops, some years will be better than others. What you have entire control over is the seeds you plant and how well you take care of them. What do you think would be less stressful, putting all of your energy and importance into the harvest, over which you have no control or the planting over which you have complete control? Ask yourself what seeds have you planted today.
This is a picture of my lovely lady and myself in Jamaica. It was our first time there together roughly 5 years ago. For her birthday I was able to surprise her with a return trip to that very resort which she loved so much. After the terrible hurricane they suffered, they need some support as well. I was so grateful to be able to treat her to this for all the amazing things she does for me. In addition, while looking through the photos I noticed something very interesting. My lady actually looks younger and more beautiful today than she did 5 years ago in these photos. That is saying something as she always looks so lovely. I am so grateful to be with such an incredible woman.
We also went out to breakfast at one of our favorite locations. Our server could not have been any better. This always makes the experience far more enjoyable. When they heard we were celebrating Margie’s birthday, they brought out a delicious blueberry muffin and wrote “Happy Birthday” in chocolate sauce. The server also gave us a piece of flan which she made herself. We were so grateful to enjoy this experience together. Looking across the table at such a beautiful woman and knowing I am going to spend forever with her filled my heart with gratitude.
This may certainly seem like my life is all sunshine and rainbows, and while I am truly blessed, there are some challenges that have shown some new things to be grateful for. A few posts ago, I shared that my new car had hit a patch of black ice and slid into a snow bank. This caused a cracked bumper. I was told when plastic gets cold even snow can crack it. This certainly was not a fun moment, but it gave me plenty of new things to be grateful for. One, I had insurance so the repairs only cost my deductible. Although this expense was more than I cared to spend right before the holidays, it lead to some amazing savings. Turns out my former insurance agent had set up my policy wrong. This resulted in a $48 dollar a month savings going forward, as well as a $300 refund after Christmas. That was almost the cost of the deductible. In addition, both the insurance people and the repair people could not have been any nicer. They taught me a lot about my car and the insurance on it.
Another great item was that I have a back up car I use for when we DJ. I was able to use that car to go to and from work. This saved me from having to get a ride at 4am. It also helped refresh the gratitude for my new car. I missed many of the features that made driving in the cold a lot easier. I was conveying just such a thing on the way to breakfast when my lovely lady remarked, “You must be grateful for the other car too.” It doesn’t hurt to have a lady that pays attention to the things you write about. In the process of being grateful to have the new car back, my gratitude for the old car started to slip and it was a great reminder.
Whether celebrating a great time, or doing your best to make it through a tough time, gratitude is the secret. Things may not be as you wish they were, but they can always be worse. We owe it to ourselves and our mental health to focus on gratitude!
As I write this post, the amount of gratitude I am experiencing cannot be put into words. The purpose behind this site is to help leave the world a better place than I found it. To that extent, every new tool and strategy I learn is shared and discussed with anyone who wishes to join our community. In addition, when I come across something that would uplift, encourage and empower others, I share that as well. Working together we can uplift each other and the world at large.
As you can see by this chart, we have had the most successful year since inception. Over 27 thousand different people have viewed this site over 34 thousand times. To me, that is not an accomplishment to boast about, but one to be grateful for. The driving force to continue to make this website, and all of the material I put out, a success is to help more and more people. We all need a little uplifting and someone to lean on now and then. Many of us do not have that person in our life, or we may not feel like we do. This site is designed to be that person in as many lives as possible. It is my sincerest desire that the sense of community we foster here will be taken into the communities of those who read it.
Speaking of communities that have viewed this site, you can see the countries that have shaded in green. I am overjoyed that so many of our friends across the country of China, the continents of Africa and South America have checked us out this year. Not sure how to reach our friends in Greenland, but we will keep trying. My point is that we were in over 200 countries this year and on 6 of the 7 continents. I hope that in each one of these the sense of community moves from online to in person. That is an aspect we will work on in 2026. The lessons we share here are done so freely and openly. It is all about each one of us working to become the best version of ourselves in whatever journey we are traveling.
The more I speak with people across the globe, the more one this becomes clear. No matter what separates us geographically, politically, or culturally, we all share many of the same ambitions and many of the same challenges to those ambitions. We also have the same desire for community and connection. In 2026, we are going to work on strengthening that connection to all of our friends around the globe. One great way to do this is to hear from all of you in the comments. I do my best to respond to each and every comment left here or on our corresponding Facebook page. We are so excited that we got to serve so many of you this year and look forward to being of even more service next year! Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts here at Secret2anamazinglife.com.
This is my favorite book. Read it no less than 7 times. Every time that I read it I either find something new I missed, or am reminded of some important aspect I forgot. One of the main lessons in this book it how you speak with and treat others. Yes, some of it has to do with getting them over to your side of an issue, but that is not the entire lesson. The core principle is treating others with dignity and respect.
Last post we discussed the idea of emotional maturity and self-control. What I see lately is not only a total lack of those two qualities from those in power, but a praising and celebration of treating others poorly. This not only confuses me, but saddens me as well. When, as a society did we praise people for lack of dignity and respect when it comes to dealing with others? We have people in the highest positions of power calling those that disagree with them, or sometimes even question them, terrible names followed by rants attacking their personal character.
They say that the empty can rattles the most. That could not be more true. If someone were emotionally mature, or even have an intellectual point to make in disagreement, they would not take the juvenile path of name calling and insulting. Not to mention to me, what is the greatest point we should ponder in all of this. When we call each other names or put someone down, especially on a public stage, we have no idea how harmful those comments can be. We never know what people are fighting in their lives. With the cost of living so high and the fear of violence as high as it has even been, it is more important now than ever to treat each other with courtesy and respect. That does not mean you have to agree with them. What it does mean is that we need to be emotionally mature enough to disagree with someone without acting like an undisciplined child.
What would we do if the insults and names that we lash out with is what puts someone over the edge? Can you imagine if your childish behavior lead to the loss of a life? Maybe it was the last loss of hope in humanity someone was clinging to? There is no reason to treat someone in this fashion. We can learn to respectfully disagree. Perhaps everyone might give this book a cursory glance.
I often mention that Mr. Rogers is one of my favorite philosophers and teachers. Many think this is some kind of joke. “He teaches children.” they say. That is only partially true. He taught lessons that we should learn as children. What is abundantly clear is that many have either never learned these lessons, chose not to learn them or have sense forgotten them. Looking at the picture above, “What do you do with the mad that you feel?” Even the subtitle ‘Self-control, expression and healthy outlets’. How many people do you know could use a refresher in these lessons? I think all of us could at some point in our lives.
Do we still need Mr. Rogers? Looking at some of the issues in the news such as Brown University, Australia, and even the director Rob Reiner, it is apparent lots of folks do not know what to do with the mad they feel. We need guidance in self-control, expression and healthy outlets. Certainly, Mr. Rogers is not the only solution, but would it not help us to review some of the childhood lessons that we do not always live up to?
One of the best things we can do for this world is to make sure that we teach the children these lessons. Not only our children, but by our example teach any children, or adults for that matter, that may be watching our behavior. Let them see there are healthy ways to solve a disagreement. Emotional maturity may not be discussed as openly and often as it should be. Let us work together to change that. Mental health in general is a very important topic that we need to make sure everyone feels safe to bring up and ask for help. Each of us working together can change the world.
We all have a good deal of healing to do in our lives. It can be from a break-up, a job loss, a physical ailment, abuse from our childhood, or even the loss of a loved one. No matter what healing we are in the process of going through, it can seem overwhelming. I recall coming back from my open-heart surgery. There were days when it seemed I would never be back to normal. Even 4 months later, I had my first day back to work. I had been feeling like I was normal. Five minutes into my day I was gasping for air and my body felt like I had just run a marathon. I felt so defeated , like I was back to square one.
Emotional healing can be even more complicated. It can seem you take one step forward and two steps back at times. You think you may have got past that break-up and then you hear a song on the radio that puts you into tears. Perhaps you think you have managed to find a way to move forward in life after the loss of a loved one, only to wake up in a sea of sadness. This is often how healing works. It is messy, difficult and at times overwhelming.
What will help us to traverse our healing journey and not become overwhelmed? Many lean on their faith. That is a great idea as it can bring peace in the most trying of times. Some lean on friends and family. That can be helpful as it gives the other party a feeling of value in your life. Just make sure to consider their well-being as well. One way that we can do daily is to celebrate the smallest parts of our healing journey. This can be making it 5 minutes before breaking down when the day before we only made it 3. The more we note the small progress we made healing, the less overwhelming it will seem.
One additional thing to keep in mind is that healing is not always a linear journey. There will be ups and downs. Somedays we must celebrate just making it through the day. Other times it is making it through the hour. Healing is just that way. The last thing we need when we are trying to heal is to put any pressure on ourselves. Give yourself the gift of grace as you work your way to healing.
After reading the quote in this picture, there is not much to say, but yet you could spend forever pondering it. We will spend a little less than forever but spend a little time pondering the virtues of spending our time wisely. Looking at time as a currency certainly gives it more value in many people’s eyes, which is ironic in itself. Can you imagine spending money never knowing how much you had? You could wind up with a bunch of worthless junk and not enough money to afford food and shelter. Sadly, this is how many people do live.
I often look at life like an hourglass. The sand only goes one way and it is always flowing. That is like our life. Our years are flowing from the top to the bottom. We can do things to slow the flow, but there is no putting the sand back. In addition, it is as if the top of the hourglass is covered. We never know how much sand we have left. Try looking at an hourglass and pondering this. Even a little timer that comes in a boardgame will do. Watch the sand flowing and realize the time you have left is doing the same. This should not make you sad, but create a sense of urgency.
We only have so many more tomorrows. How many, none of us know. That is why wasting our time on senseless gossip or the destruction of others is not only a vile use of our time, but a waste. There is a cliche that says, “Every minute you spend in anger is 60 seconds of happiness you lose.” That might not be it exactly, but you get the idea. We must use our time in ways that not only serve our peace and development, but that of those we care about. Doing things to help the world live in peace and harmony is a good use of anyone’s time. How about you? How are you spending your time?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 