THE FIRST OF MANY

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This will be a week devoted to words that shape our lives and begin with the letter ‘P’. Not only is it the first letter of my last name, but as you will see when the week progresses there are a lot of words that fall into this category.

First word up, ‘Pain’. It may seem odd for a blog on living an amazing life to feature pain as its first word of the week, but that is only because we often think of pain as a negative. What do I mean pain as a negative? Who doesn’t think of pain as a negative right? If you ask anyone “would you like some pain?” chances are the answer will be a resounding no. Here is the bad news, pain will always be a part of our lives. Here is the good news, that doesn’t have to be the bad news. Pain can be our servant and not our master. We can learn to use pain and not let it use us.

So How can pain be a good thing in our lives? First of all let us understand one thing, in many ways it already has been. As a child if you touch a hot stove your body gives you pain. In most cases we remember that and never touch a hot stove again. Thus, we save ourselves bodily harm that could cause us severe damage. Let us look at emotional pain. Someone does something and our heart gives us a dose of pain. Often this can be worse than touching the hot stove. So how on earth is this good? It can be if we understand it is showing us something about both ourselves and the other person. Maybe we did not communicate to the other person our standards and what hurts our feelings? Maybe we need to be a little more cautious with how much we open ourselves to this person. In some cases the pain may even mean we need to limit and maybe even remove this person from our lives.

One final way we can use pain to serve us is in the accomplishment of goals. In life we do things for two reasons. One of which is to reduce and eliminate pain. The other we will discuss tomorrow. So how can we use this to improve our lives? Let us say our goal is to live a healthier life. Try taking yourself for a run and see how far you can get. Find a full length mirror and get undressed in front of it. These things may seem very unmotivating, but when we understand that personal dissatisfaction can be a tremendous driving force we can understand giving ourselves small doses of pain can push us in ways we may very well need. How many times have you heard someone say “I’m sick of feeling/looking this way!”? If their pain is great enough they will change it. Same with motivating us to help others. I am a firm believer in helping the abused be it adults, children or animals. When I see the commercials with the starving children or abused animals I want to reach right out and help. I want to eliminate their suffering.

The one caution is we must not let ourselves be consumed by pain. As powerful as pain is, it is only one side of the equation. Next post we will look at the other half of this powerful life-changing tandem. So please read both and understand life is a balance.

As always feel free to share this post with anyone and everyone you think it may help.

TIME TO CELEBRATE!

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Today is one of my favorite days. Not only is it the first day of spring, it also happens to be international day of happiness. Yes, there is indeed such a holiday.  So two quick things for you.  First, in honor of spring, look again at your goals for the year. What would you like to grow in your life? Is there any renewal you want to do? Use today to start.

Second,in honor of international day of happiness, find and do something that makes you happy. Talk to someone you love, read a good book. Personally I recommend A Happy Life for Busy People maybe even watch a movie that makes you smile. The best thing to do today? Spread happiness whatever you go. Be a light in a world that can often be dark and cold. Remind others of their happiness.

Please feel free to like/share/comment on this post.  Thank you

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?

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The question in the title of title of this post is what we are going to think about today.  If you were to approach a ships captain in a harbor and ask his next port of call he could tell you in one sentence. Now at the moment the captain cannot see his destination, nor can he forsee the challenges of the journey to get there. Still he knows where he is going and can picture it in his minds eye. He also knows if there are challenges such as weather he will make adjustments to his heading and continue on. It is even worse for an airline pilot. They are of course a full 80% of the time! Making constant slight adjustments they arrive most of the time on time.

What is the point of all this? The reason why both people can arrive safely and on time is simple – they know where they are going. Do you know where your life is going? What is your life’s destination? Quite often people are afraid to think of one, or to set a goal. Why? They are afraid. Afraid of failure. Much like our two people above your course will take detour after detour. Still without a port of call in mind your journey can often feel hopeless and senseless. A ship or aircraft would never set out and say “who knows where we are going, but let’s hope we end up somewhere nice”. The odds say they would both end up in tragedy. Would you get on a plane that did not list where it was going? Of course you wouldn’t! Still this is what most of us do with our lives. Sure we have wishes and things we want, but know concrete goals or destination. So take some minutes today and sit down with a pen and paper. Write down what you want your life to become. Who you wish to become as a person. List every detail. Then look at that list at least weekly. If you find you are failing or seeming to be drifting off course,that’s great!  At least you know and can make adjustments. Your life will have direction. You will feel as though you have a purpose. When someone asks you where your next port of call is you can answer them in just one sentence.

Feel free to share your goals in the comments below.  Also feel free to like and share this posts with others. It is always more fun to be around others with goals.

MASTERMIND

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My bio was recently posted on the West Allis library Facebook page for the Wisconsin authors festival event I am going to do next Saturday.  Feel free to stop by, check it out and comment if you like.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=793830877388460&substory_index=0&id=326342164137336

I am so excited to do this. One of the reasons is being around like-minded people. One of the keys to success I believe is finding and associating with at least one other person who is traveling the same road you are. Our friends and family can be great sources of support and encouragement, but it is my opinion you should have someone on the professional path you are on. My lovely lady in the picture above is amazing in so many ways. At the event above we were not as busy as we had hoped, but not only did she keep my spirits up, she also was great company. She is also very creative and in business for herself. We recently had a great conversation about small projects verses big projects. I am working on my next book and the difference in writing that verses writing these blog posts is interesting. We discussed the difference for her in making specialty cupcakes verses creating someone’s wedding cake. The challenges on bigger projects and the stress that goes with them is greater, but the reward and sense of building something great is also greater.

As awesome as this conversation was, and to be honest how pretty much all of ours have been, writing is an area she cannot 100% relate to. Interestingly enough we are going to do a project together and that very well may change, but for the time being writing a book is something she has not done. Interestingly enough we met some of her former coworkers for coffee and they discussed crafts, creating scarfs and hats for homeless people out of piles of yarn. Something yours truly will never be able to do. Which is ok. We can both relate to each other about creating projects, but I think it is wonderful that we both have people to discuss details with that neither of us can fully understand. I think having that balance is important and vital to success. So today begin to form your ‘mastermind group’. Include a mix of people who both support you personally and can relate to you professionally. You will be glad you did.

Watch “THE LATEST AND GREATEST SOURCE OF INSPIRATION” on YouTube

A great man, and another great source of inspiration

Watch “THE SAME THING THREE DIFFERENT WAYS” on YouTube

Why it is important to have 3 people doing the same positive thing

Watch “LETTING YOURSELF DOWN…NOW WHAT?” on YouTube

What to do when you don’t meet your own standard

Watch “CREATE AN EVENT!” on YouTube

Another video ‘classic’ filmed this past summer

Watch “ANOTHER SECRET WEAPON FOR YOU” on YouTube

This was a video filmed in one of my favorite secluded spots as my poor lovely lady was being eaten alive by mosquitos

TAKE A BITE OUT OF LIFE!

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What is this a picture of? Some of you may say it is a picture of a sandwich with a bite out of it. True, but not exactly. It is much more than that. Let me tell you what this picture symbolizes. First, a little background on the picture. It is indeed a sandwich, in a plastic bag with a bite out of it. My lovely lady made me this sandwich to take to my day job which is with the United States Postal Service. She had it put in a bag along with a few other items.

Ok, so I know what must be on your mind at this point, why the bite? For those of you sensitive to romantic situations this would be a good time to stop reading. Although we have the great fortune of working together 4 nights a week and spending another working in the same building time apart happens far too often for our liking. This day we had a great morning working out at the gym together, we had went to a winter market a few days before and were just generally enjoying the time we were sharing. So my lady being as sweet as she is decided to help me save some time on my morning routine of getting ready. Which, I must confess often resembles the fury of activity and speed displayed by a Nascar pit crew, by packing me a lunch. That was a very sweet gesture and one that I did appreciate oh so much. Plus, it gave me a healthy alternative to the sugar filled junk in our lunch room.

So what on earth is with the bite already? Ok, here is the romantic thing. We both mentioned how we were having such an enjoyable time with each other that we found it particularly difficult to be apart that day. So after she made my lunch, she took a bite out of my sandwich so I would remember who made it. Ok, so yes it may seem mushy and overly romantic to some of you, but I found it rather cute. The point of all of this is that the littlest of things can mean the most. My mom used to pack me lunches on occasion when I was in school. It was very nice of them in both cases, but my lady went a little further. That little act of silliness and thoughtfulness stuck with me so much I not only took a picture, but I still think of it to this day.

So if you would like to increase the romance and little things in your relationship, feel free to share this with your partner and start thinking of little things you can do for them. You do not need to buy a new car or an expensive gift to have your partner fall in love with you (Although honey, if you are holding out on giving me a new car feel free) all you have to do is show them you thought about them and you care. Feel free to share this with anyone else you know, or on your social media page. Also feel free to leave romantic things that you and your partner do for each other in the comments below so other readers can try them as well.