WE ARE LIVING MIRACLES

This is my friend Kyle and his girlfriend Jamie. Today is Kyle’s birthday. That is not the only reason I bring him to your attention today. Today is a day he will be celebrated by family and friends. They will celebrate his birth, his coming into this world. He will be the one receiving the material gifts, but the simple fact he is being thought of by so many others speaks to the fact of what a gift his life has been to them.

One of Kyle’s best traits is his humility. He may not think his life makes a great deal of difference in the grand scheme of the world. This is like many of us. We often fail to understand how the simple positive things we do affect the lives of others. Kyle, is a prime example. He is a barista at the local coffee shop I often write at. There are quite a few others that work with Kyle, but none that have his positive outlook and demeanor. His compassion for, and attitude towards his customers is second to none.

Being a friendly barista may not seem like something that can change the world, and I know Kyle may not think so, but to me, nothing is further from the truth. What we never know is the story of the people in front of us. Even close friends may not share everything that is on their mind or in their hearts. Imagine a complete stranger in a coffee shop.

How much is a positive word worth to you? How much would a smile affect you if you were having a bad day? They are priceless. You cannot buy genuine caring no matter how much money you have. Kyle gives this freely. He genuinely cares about his fellow man. In the course of career I cannot begin to imagine how many smiles he has brought to the faces of his customers and how much joy he has put in the hearts of those he has met. It would not surprise me if he has directly, or indirectly saved the lives of people who may have came in feeling their lives did not matter. He did all of this by simply being himself.

To be sure Kyle has days when he does not live up to his own expectations, as we all do. I had the honor of interviewing him and Jamie for an upcoming book of mine and learned that one of the reasons they are perfect for each other, is they realize each other is not perfect. The next time Kyle is feeling down, or does something to disappoint himself or others I hope he remembers what a gift his life is and how many miracles he has created simply by sharing the love he has for his fellow man.

Yes, today is Kyle’s birthday and we are celebrating his birth and life, but we only do so because of the difference it has made in our lives. I want to take a second to wish this fine example of a human being the happiest of birthdays followed by many more.

I encourage all of you to tag someone in this post that you feel creates miracles in the lives of others. Let them know what a difference they make.

LET IT GO!

Here is my last picture with my old PT cruiser. Even though it has been nothing but trouble it got me from point A to point B. Not without leaking coolant and breaking down, but together we got there.

Today a towing company is coming to take it to the salvage yard as I decided not to put that kind of luck on anyone else. It is weird how it still is a little bit of a bummer as we grow attached to things just because of time.

This is just a car. Feelings of attachment are even more intense when it comes to people and relationships. We all know someone, or may even be someone, who stays in an unhealthy or abusive relationship because it is familiar, or because we have already invested so much time in it we would hate to ‘give up’ on it.It may be scary and awkward to find yourself starting over again especially the older we get.

Understand staying in an unhealthy relationship because you have invested time makes no more sense than continuing to drive a car that keeps breaking down simply because you have already stuck a lot of money in it. I spent over $2000 trying to keep my PT cruiser running, but it was always one thing after another. It soon became apparent the money it would take to keep the car going would be better spent on a new vehicle.

The same can hold true for the love and energy you spend on your relationships, be they friend or intimate. Let it be known I am not advocating leaving a relationship at the first sign of trouble. Whenever two people with different opinions and life experiences get together there is going to be ups and downs, bad days and good days. If, however, you find yourself being the only one actually putting forth any effort in the relationship, it may be time to take a hard look as to whether or not your energy and love would be better spent investing in someone new.

Remember you are a gift. If the other person, be they friend or spouse, does not realize that you must value yourself to know that someone else will

1 MORE THING WRONG

Here is what inspired me today, while going down the demilitarized zone that is 60th street the exhaust on my car broke off – I laughed.

While you may all question my sanity, something I have grown used to, let me explain. After 8 terrible months with this PT cruiser, I start driving my new vehicle tomorrow. So, one last thing going wrong was almost comical at this point.

Here is the inspiring point, 2 weeks ago i would not have laughed at all about this. In fact, I probably would have selected vocabulary not fit to print here. The ironic thing is we all can choose our reactions. Sure, it is easier when you have a car ready to take its place, but I still could have responded with more frustration. It just reminds me how much control I have in how I react, and thus, how I feel

DON’T LET THE SAME DOG BITE YOU TWICE

One of my favorite quotes to help keep peace in your mind and heart comes from Buddha, who said “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Forgiveness truly is the gift you give yourself. Most of the time when we stay angry at people it only affects us. Think of what happens to your body when you get angry. Your blood pressure rises, you can get sick to the stomach among many other unpleasant symptoms. Imagine what would happen if we did this over a prolonged period of time. Not only would it drain our spirit and soul, but it would make us actually physically sick.

Here is the caveat about forgiving someone, it does not mean they need to be your best friend. There are some people who are destructive and surrounding yourself with them will only bring you down. I compare it to continuing to try and pet a dog you know will bite you. Unless the dog goes through some training, it will likely bite you again. Forgive the dog for biting you and then do your best to keep your distance from the dog.

Starting today, let go of anger and practice forgiveness. It does not mean you agree with their behaviour. It also does not mean you have to let them back into your life. It only means you value yourself enough to let go of negative emotions that will bring you down emotionally, spiritually and physically.

GET ON MY LEVEL

I really like this saying. What it reminds me of is this, that when we receive criticism from somebody we must stop and consider the source. What a person places as their priorities and their experiences in life are different than ours. If a person is a vegetarian they may very well say something about you eating meat. If their parents were alcoholics, they made give you a critical glance for enjoying that cocktail.

It is not even always this black and white. Depending on people’s goals, whether realized or not, they can be critical. Somebody who is driven and works on their passions 7 days a week may be accused of not having enough fun by the person who spends their weekends partying. The person involved with getting in touch with themselves spiritually may be looked down on by the person who is driven for taking time to meditate instead of work. (Although if you follow my work you will know that regular meditation can make you less stressed and more productive) It depends on what we value and where we want to go in life.

All of this being said, one of the first questions I recommend asking ourselves when we receive any sort of criticism is whether or not there is any truth in it. Often the way criticism is presented prevents us from gaining any real value out of it. If instead of hearing “You are a selfish jerk!” you heard “I think you could really benefit from trying harder to see situations from other people’s point of view.” We would be more likely to listen and contemplate if indeed there is truth in the statement. Sadly, often times by the time someone offers us criticism they are too emotional to word it productively. It is up to us to look past the harsh words and decide if the criticism is due to different values, or if indeed they have a valid point. Another way to learn if there is something you might need to work on is if you hear the same critique from several different people.

So, my friends, be confident enough in yourself to not let others opinions of you become your reality, but humble enough to realize they may be pointing out something you may have missed.

1 GREAT REMINDER

Every now and again life provides a great reminder of what’s important. While sitting outside waiting to pick up someone I got such a reminder. There was a man pushing a shopping cart up a steep hill. In my state I was thinking “This poor man has to push a cart full of groceries up a hill instead of driving them where he has to go.” The weather was nice and he had a lady following him, I am assuming they shopped together.

I started to wonder, did neither of them drive? Maybe their care was in worse shape then mine? Maybe there was a legal situation that prevented him from driving? I wondered how he would make it if the weather wasn’t so pleasant out. Would he have to skip his shopping? Being an empath, I started really feeling bad for this man. Putting myself in his shoes. Although my car is on it’s way out, it still gets me from point A to Point B.

What happened next was like a wake-up call from the universe. This man I was feeling so bad for did something I never would have expected. He pushed his shopping cart ahead of him did a 360 degree turn and kept pushing it up the hill. In other words, having to push his groceries home he was having as much fun as he could. Life is about enjoying the process. Here I am the man who really believes whenever you set a goal you should ask yourself, “How can I have fun along the way?” This man who was doing what he had to for whatever reason, was finding a way to have fun with it. Therefore, as I continue my quest for a new car, I shall endeavor to have fun while looking and not get so frustrated.

Whatever you are doing, ask yourself, “How can I have fun during this journey?” We would all benefit from that

ANOTHER FIRST!

Below you will find the link for my first article in Consumer Health Digest. I am very proud to be a new regular contributor to this great publication.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE

FIND THE GOOD THING

Cell phones. Depending on your opinion they are valuable tools making life more convenient, or a terrible addiction that causes many people to drive worse than they already do. I find myself somewhere in the middle usually.

This is a bit of an odd post so please bear with me here. Just to prove how easy it is to find something to be grateful for, or some positive thing to look at, allow me to share my recent experience. For those of you who may be easily offended, now may be a good time to stop reading.

My lady and I were out to breakfast at a local restaurant when I had to use the restroom. Yes, inspiration can even strike there. As I closed the door to afford me the privacy so required at said moment, I noticed something a bit rare these days, graffiti. Now I am not sure who Jay and Amy are, but it would appear they had a very intense romantic relationship. It also appears sometime later that relationship seemed to end badly. There was even contact information for one of them available should I have had the desire to check my theory out. For the sake of time, and to keep the intrigue of this post going I chose to pass on that option.

Being that I had a few private moments to my own thoughts, my mind began to wander. What happened between Jay and Amy? Did Amy receive any calls thanks to the Jay kindly providing her number for all the men using this restroom? Who would really call a number they found in a restroom? Why would anyone feel the need to express their heartache on a stall door of the men’s room of a diner?

As my time in the stall drew to a close there were two things that occurred to me. One, I did not know they made toilet paper that was that skinny and two, how rare bathroom graffiti had become. Only a few years earlier one could have expected to see some in almost any restroom you used. The reason? The cell phone. In addition to cleaner facilities, we also have the added bonus of listening to the awkward loud talker who may be in the rest room with us.

Next time someone cuts you off in traffic while watching a cat video on YouTube, just remember all of the clean restrooms.

20 YEAR OVERNIGHT SUCCESS

I have been involved in the field of self-improvement for roughly two decades. In that time I have created the website secret2anamazinglife.com, wrote the book A Happy Life for Busy People started a YouTube channel under Neil Panosian, and have given live seminars. Still, on any given day getting my message out can be a struggle.

A few weeks ago while working my day job at the post office I began to feel a bit frustrated things were not coming along quicker. I expressed this feeling to a few people. The following Monday I received offers from 2 magazines requesting my contribution and 2 newspapers looking to interview me.

By the end of next month there will be columns in the 2 papers on me and by the end of the week my article will be in the first magazine.

The point of this is this – never give up. We have all heard the saying “It is darkest before the dawn” personally that helps me very little when I am sitting in the dark. It is that slimmer of hope that my message can finally reach the masses and I could begin to make a difference on a grand scale that kept me going everyday for the last 20 years. Why? It is my passion, my purpose and I firmly believe what I offer can help lots of people.

Use my story as an example. If you seem to be working on your passion and there does not seem to be any progress, don’t give up! Keep working, knowing if your intentions and desires are strong enough the universe will work with you.

That being said, if anyone would like to help get my message out there I would be most grateful.