Let us talk about what real strength is. Being strong is not being part of the group currently in power. Being strong is not being the loudest or having your opinion be accepted by the most people. No that is not being strong. That is actually rather easy. It is easy to repeat the talking points of the the group, be that political religious or any other nature. What takes strength is being able to speak truth, kindness and compassion.
If you really want to be strong, remain calm and kind when faced with opposition. When you see those you disagree with spreading lies, to be able to remain steadfast in your kindness and commitment to truth, that takes strength. When someone attacks you personally, can you have the strength to resist the urge to retaliate? Retaliation is not strength. It is weakness. It is giving into base emotions such as hurt and anger. It will not improve your life or the situation. Often, it makes the point of the opposition look valid.
Next time you are tempted to say something that speaks division and hatred, ask yourself, “Am I not strong enough to rise above this?” Be a person of value. Be someone who speaks of growth and becoming the best version of themselves and not what is wrong with your neighbor. Be the best example to all of those who are watching you. That is true strength.
I cannot say this enough, so apparently I will say it again today. If you are really searching for the secret to an amazing life, and if you are reading this site I can only assume you are, start with changing your focus to gratitude. Why do we focus on this one emotion so much here? Gratitude is so powerful that if you truly put it to use in your life, it will turn the life you have into the life you love. It will feel like magic. Why? Because life really is magical. We have just become blind to it. It is like walking over a diamond in the sidewalk on the way to work everyday. Actually, it is better than that. Having an attitude of gratitude is more valuable than a diamond.
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts affect your mood? Your mood, after all, is your life. If you are angry and pissed off, your world will be angry and pissed off. If you are someone who is always looking for the beauty in what is around them, you will be someone who always sees the world as beautiful, even in the darkest of times. If you want to live a life that is amazing, you must start to look for and focus on what is amazing. To help this, try speaking about what is amazing. Speak of your blessings. Les Brown once said, “Nobody wants to hear your problems. 80% don’t care and 20% are glad it is you.” That is not to say don’t reach out if you need help, just that you focus on your blessings.
In life we all have struggles. We also all have blessings. Look around you. There is so much beauty and joy to be discovered it is inconceivable. Look at the face of someone you love. Think of how much they love you despite all of your quirks and flaws. Think of the beauty and kindness of all the souls you cross paths with. Every person blesses the world in ways we may never understand. Begin by sharing one thing you are grateful for every day with others. See how much this transforms your life. Imagine how you make others feel when you enter a room with the phrase, “Do you know what I am so grateful for today?” It may encourage others to acknowledge all of the blessings in their life as well.
It can seem the world has become a little dark lately. The news, which I do my best to avoid at all costs, has been filled with stories of anger and tragedy. Many people’s hearts are filled with the same. Even if you are not part of the problem, it can be hard not to feel the effects of the problem. What can you do when the world feels like it could collapse at any moment? My answer? Be grateful it hasn’t.
Self-care becomes even more important for the individual when the world seems to need it. More about that in a second. It can feel quite difficult to even leave the house when the outside world seems crazy. First of all, sometimes the answer is not to. Stay home. Have a glass of wine and watch a movie. Maybe craft with your kids while listening to some fun music. Maybe have a glass of wine while crafting with the kids. Just don’t craft the kids with a glass of wine. In all seriousness, sometimes the answer is to shut out the world and enjoy a little peace. While doing so, change your focus to what you do have to be grateful for. This can seem difficult at first, but stick with it. After spending time with self-care and gratitude, you would be amazed at how much the world can change.
Eventually, you may have to leave the house. What then? How can you survive in this crazy world without losing your mind. Remember that self-care and gratitude? Practice it on others. Let others know that they are appreciated and why. If you can practice acts of self-care, like paying for the coffee of the person behind you, then do that. Share smiles and reassurance. Know the overwhelm you feel is often felt like others that may just be hiding it better. Everyone loves to know they are appreciated and everyone loves the gift of genuine kindness. Even the ones who do not appear to. They are the ones who need it the most.
Next time the insanity of the world has you feeling overwhelmed, take time to escape for yourself. When you do go back out into the world, share kindness, compassion and gratitude with as many as you can, as often as you can. This will not only help you feel better, it is also the only way in which we can heal the world.
How easy is it to get sucked into the divisive and hate fueled ways of the world today? Sadly, far too easy. What we should focus on is our legacy. What will the world remember about us? Will we be part of a group that rallied against another, or will we be a person who shows others kindness, compassion and understanding? That is the choice we have to make. Not only daily, but often hourly in this crazy world. We may slip, but it is important to keep working our hardest to be a ray of light in a world that can often be far too dark.
We daily have a choices. Will we be a person who sows division or unity? Will will feed communal anger or strive for individual joy? Understand the former may get you accolades from those around you at the time. Choosing to go against the grain and be a light can not only prevent you from the cheers of those seeking to divide the world, but can leave you feeling ostracized and cast out. Relish the fact. Use that solitude to think of the legacy you will leave behind. If you have brightened the life of just one person, you have done more than all of those pushing the narrative of ‘us against them’. It may leave you lonely. It may leave you feeling left out. It may not always be easy, but it will always be right.
One of the secrets to an amazing life is to have a strong ‘why’. Knowing the reason you are doing things, or the goal you are striving for will allow you to make it through some pretty tough challenges. You do not have to even being chasing a specific goal. Sometimes the challenge can be working to become the best version of yourself. Sometimes that challenge can be remaining a decent human in a world that is trying to change that. It is then that you can really be tested. Why go to work when everyone else at your place of employment is always calling in sick? Why work so hard when most of your wages go for a government that cannot balance their own budget? These are thoughts we all have at some point in time.
When you are busy saving for that vacation, or gifts for a loved one, it is easier to get up and get out of bed. Most of the time, we are working just to keep the lights on and a roof overhead. This is not as inspiring. Even becoming the best version of ourselves is not the most motivating on the hardest days. What then? The answer is not why, but ‘who’.
If you need an outside source of motivation and inspiration, look no further than those you love. Eric Thomas does a whole video on this, but we can look at it in a nutshell. For me, on the days that I do not feel like being the best version of me, I look at a picture of my beautiful lady. She does so much to show she loves me, how could I not give her the best version of me? She believes in me, even when I do not believe in myself. I think of my mother who raised me. Would she really want to be responsible for a man who grew to be less than he could be? How about my friends who are struggling and could use an example of perseverance? Of course, you – the wonderful readers of this blog. I owe it to all of you who spend your time and energy to read and apply what we share here.
Next time you are tempted to stay in bed and rest, or not give your best on a project, ask yourself some tough questions. “Do I love sleep more than I love having the respect of my spouse?” “Would being lazy be more rewarding than my children respecting the person I am?” Even though you already know the answers, ask them anyway. It may lead to you begrudgingly going ahead with what you have to do, but you will be able to lay your head down and sleep with peace that night. You will learn that often the best ‘why’ is really a ‘who’.
I must confess to not being a fan of ‘fate’ or “It is what it is.” type thinking. Quite the contrary. I believe life is what you make of it. What happens then when we find ourselves in situations that are not only undesirable, but beyond our control? We have all been there. You are on your way to get a nice surprise for someone and another driver hits your car. You drive across town for a nice dinner only to find the restaurant closed. These things happen. What then?
My thinking is still the same. Life is what you make of it. When you find yourself in a situation that is undesirable, ask yourself, “What can I do while I am here?” I recall being one of the first people in the state to get Covid. That was scary. At the time they did not know a lot about it. I have some preexisting conditions such as asthma that could make it worse. Was I scared? Absolutely. Then I asked myself how I could use that situation to serve the greater good. Often, when we take the focus off of ourselves and put it on serving others, great things happen. I decided to make a series of videos to chronical my journey. My hope was that it would take the fear away for many people.
The same happened when I had open-heart surgery two years later. My beautiful love of my life saw that I was rather scared of the whole event and wisely suggested, “Why don’t you write about it?” She even bought me a journal to record my thoughts and events involved. It was the first book I ever wrote by hand before publishing. You can read that fine piece of literary work, The Beat Goes On, by yours truly – Neil Panosian, on Amazon. Again, it was taking the focus off of myself and my problems and looking how it could all serve others and the greater good.
Next time you find yourself somewhere you would rather not be, or with someone you would rather not be with, ask yourself, “How can I use this?” The answer could be to develop some aspect of your character that needs work. If you can find a way to use the situation to serve others, that will be a big win! Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? How did you use it?
This post has 2 parts. Both of whichrevolve around the fact that it is National Encouragement Day. Who encourages you? For me, it is my lady and her daughter with how hard they work in their bakery. My mother and her commitment to staying healthy. My friend Shannon with her knowledge of, and passion for our friends in the plant kingdom. Our friendKurt And his business ventures. Our friend Mary with her support of Margie and me. There are a million others. All of my friends inspire me in some fashion.
Here is the other half of the equation. How do you encourage yourself? It in a world that can be unexpectedly cruel at times, we need to have sources of encouragement we can lean on. Sometimes those in our life we rely to encourage us might be having a bad day, or just be busy with life.
Personally, I have a playlist of songs that encourage me. All I do is push play and I’m on my way. I have a daily inspiration calendar. I have a few apps that contain inspirational messages.
How about you? Who encourages you? How do you encourage yourself?
Raise your hand if you find yourself feeling tired. If we were able to look at who has their hand raised, or at least who felt they should raise there hand, my guess is it would be most of you reading this. According to the National Sleep Foundation, roughly 75% of people say they feel tired multiple days a week. That percentage jumps among high achievers. Chances are if you are reading a blog about how to live an amazing life, you feel tired multiple days a week. This is because those who are looking to improve and develop themselves devote time to this activities often after a full day of work and family requirments.
Quite often, I am the poster child for tired. While it is true that I do not get enough sleep, that is often not the reason that I am tired. The same might be true with you. When I feel the most tired is when my days are filled with outside obligations. That is to say priorities I did not set for myself. It is proper self-care to make sure you put you first so that you can better serve others. (think of putting the oxygen mask on yourself first in the event the plane you are on experiences trouble) While we know this intellectually, we can still get caught up in work, family and social obligations we would have rather not signed up for. I am guilty of this as much as anyone.
Have you ever had the opposite day? One where sleep may be absent, but you find yourself flying through a project you are really excited to be working on? Maybe it is just an activity you really enjoy. You should be falling over from exhaustion, but you feel like you have a well of energy that just will not quit. There are days when Margie asks me, “How are you not falling over?” When I am writing, or making a video for my YouTube channel that I am really excited about, it seems the fire inside of me carries me through. Don’t misunderstand me. After the blog post or video is complete I could be found sleeping in a plate of pizza in the corner somewhere. Have you ever had a day like this?
We talked a few posts ago about how new experiences slow the pace of life down. So does spending time on things that set your spirit on fire. Whether that is creating your next novel, creating some online content or enjoying a spiritual time in a setting of outstanding natural beauty. When we feel tired in life, we might not need a nap, we might need to do something that feeds our soul. It is important to practice self-care for the body by getting sleep. The mind by practicing relaxation and meditation exercises. It is also important to feed our spirit. It is one third of our being. Can you imagine ignoring one third of your body? How long before that would lead to serious problems? How about only paying attention to your mind one-third of the time? How long before you would become mentally exhausted and have a breakdown?
The same is true of your spirit. If you are feeling sluggish, even after a good night’s sleep, you might want to make sure you are doing enough to set your soul on fire. It is just as important as taking care of your mind and body. What would set your soul on fire?
I love this quote. I first heard Tony Robbins say it. “People major in minor things.” How true is that? It would seem when our basic needs are satisfied, our minds tend to focus on, and often get upset about things that will not even matter a year from now. In many cases, we cannot even recall what we were intensely upset about a mere 24 hours later. That may sound crazy to you, but think of how many times it has been true in your own life? There are people who let the most ridiculous things upset them, and there are those souls who soldier on despite burdens that would break most of us. I experienced both examples this weekend while DJing with the love of my life.
At the beginning of our show, on what I would later recall was a full moon, a gentleman asked to sing a song that another gentleman had already signed up for. For several reasons, we do allow this to happen. One, it is not very fun for those in attendance to hear the same song over and over again. Two, it often leads to the argument, “I sang that song better than you!” To eliminate both of those arguments, we just do not allow more than one person to sing the same song. When this gentleman was informed of this, he went into a rage. He yelled. He postured. We attempted to calmly explain why the rules are the way they are. He continued to sit at the bar and yell profanities. Keep in mind this was all because he did not get to sing his first choice of song…in a local bar…in front of people he did not know.
That man was eventually asked to leave. He vowed never to return on the way out the door. It is my believe that was more a relief to those present than anything else. That man let the fact he could not sing one song, out of the millions that exist, ruin not only his night, but negatively impact the night of all of those around him. There was a second man that night. He was quiet and polite. Sang his songs well and was nice to all of those around him. At the end of the night he was able to sing all of the songs that he signed up for. He asked Margie and I to pick a song for him. Being that we did not know the man that well, I just picked another song by an artist he had already sang. He agreed that was a great choice and sat down to happily wait until it was his turn to sing.
When it was his turn to sing, he was even more than happy to have another person who was there that night join him in singing the song. They did not even know each other. Roughly three-quarters of the way through the song, the man suddenly burst into tears and was unable to finish singing. After some consoling and gentle questioning, he revealed his 8-year-old daughter had passed away from cancer and that had triggered a memory of her. This man, who had been so polite and kind to not only Margie and myself, but to everyone that night, had been carrying a burden of pain far greater than anyone could have guessed. Even with that pain he had still found the quiet strength to do his best to bring joy to others through his song and his presence.
I certainly do not make claims to know the entire story of either man. What I do know is that life is far more enjoyable when we save our anger and frustration for things that really matter. The first man could have simply picked another song to sing. At the very least, he could have just decided not to sing without becoming belligerent. The second man displayed a strength of attempting to make it through life after what could be the greatest pain anyone could experience. That is the pain of losing a child. We are all guilty of becoming upset over things that do not really matter as much as we would like to believe. It only takes a situation like the one with the second man to remind us how much greater our struggles could be.
Have you ever heard that there are 3 sides to every story? Usually this consists of one side, the other side and the truth, which is somewhere in the middle. That is just one of the reasons you avoid gossipevery chance you get. In the picture above you will see another reason to avoid gossip. It is the like game ‘telephone’ you used to play as a child. One person says something and it is passed down from person to person. In what seems like an alarmingly short time, the story does not resemble at all what it first started out as. Gossiping the same way. Taking part in it and you may unknowingly fall victim to information that is quite far from the truth.
Here is another point to mention. Gossip, even if there is a great deal of truth to it, makes the person saying it look bad. When you are sharing bad things about others, especially in a public forum, you look bad. Most people look at someone speaking ill of others and think that they look shallow and vindictive. Even if what you are saying is 100% true, which is seldom the case, what good is there is sharing someone else’s faults with others? It is unlikely to help change what you view to be their faults. It is certain that it will not help the person spreading the gossip. There is one other important thing to consider when you are spreading gossip.
Spreading gossip makes you look untrustworthy. Even if that is the very gossip you are spreading about someone else. Hearing someone say, “Don’t trust her, she can’t be trusted.” People will notice it is coming from someone speaking ill of a person who is not present. How trustworthy is that? Not to mention, the thought that eventually creeps in everyone’s mind who hears gossip is, “If they are saying that about them, what do they say about me when I am not around?” Considering the times that we get upset with others, including those we care about, it is a legitimate question.
If you really feel the urge to gossip, there is a way in which you should do so. If you feel you must discuss people instead of ideas, there is a way in which you can satisfy that urge and maybe even help yourself in the process. That is gossip positively about someone. When was the last time you heard any gossip that was positive? Have you noticed that when people discuss others in their absence it is almost always negative? How do you feel walking away from one of those conversations? It usually brings your energy down and as we discussed earlier, makes you think less of the person doing the gossiping. Now, how would you feel if you were witness to some positive gossip? Never heard of such a thing? Just imagine how you might feel then? One, the person doing the gossip would feel a lot better than had they just been trashing someone. Secondly, those listening would have a much more favorable opinion of the gossiper. Lastly, they would not worry about what you are saying about them when you are not around.
Try this today. Spread some positive gossip. It may even feel weird at first. Run with it anyway. It will force you to think of positive aspects of those you know. This will also help increase your feelings of gratitude. Trust me when I tell you there is never enough gratitude in our lives. Watch other’s reactions when you do this. Watch their faces light up and notice how it will even make them feel good. Word of warning. Sometimes others will be so unused to this that they may try to turn the gossip negative. Do not let that happen. It is not that they are willfully being malicious, it is just that they are also used to gossip being negative. Change the narrative. Be the light in a world of darkness. Next time you hear someone gossiping, let them know you are not interested and walk away.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 