In a ‘look at me’ world, people are always working so hard to get noticed. They work endlessly to show you how great they are. What many fail to realize is that our greatest opportunity to stand out is by helping and inspiring others.
Think of who stands out in your own life. It is usually the person who just makes you feel good by being around them. If they leave you feeling better about yourself, why they are indispensable! They are people you want in your life.
Another great thing about being in this category is that there is very little competition. In a world where people are screaming with their words and actions “look how great I am!”, all you have to do is be someone who uses your words and actions to say “look how great you are!” Show everyone what is special about them. Tell them. Remind them. Most importantly, appreciate them for it! Never assume people know their superpowers. Youmight be the first one to tell them!
One secret to an amazing life is to find joy in the small moments. I’ve learned in life, or at the end of your life, they are truly the big moments. Yes, a vacation in the tropics is awesome, but do you know how wonderful sharing a peaceful coffee on the porch with the person you love can be?
The more small moments we can find joy in, the more joyful our life will be. That will make our life more joyful all together. What it will also do, is add joy to those big moments such as that tropical vacation. What are some of your favorite small moments to find joy in?
We have spoken at length about the importance of both consistency and self-discipline. What difference do they really make? Even Aristotle knew that answer almost 2000 years ago. You do not become excellent because of what you do or what you accomplish. That is not to say worthy ideals are not worth pursuing. That is the definition of success. By pursuing these worthy ideals, it is who we become that matters.
Take getting healthy. You do not become healthy by killing one workout, or even several. Healthy is making a point to eat more natural food and less processed. Healthy is making sure to live an active life. This is done through repeated actions. Otherwise known as habits.
Think of habits you have everyday. Are they leading you closer to success or taking you further away? What are some habits you could use that would set you up for success? These do not have to be grand gestures. Even the smallest habits, done over time, create big change.
One thing I’ve noticed is once you get these small habits created and part of your life, you have momentum to start new and greater ones. Unfortunately, the same is true of bad habits. If we have a habit of eating terribly, missing the gym would not be that big of a deal. If we have a habit of finding things to be grateful for, we will always make sure to appreciate those around us. Check your habits and make sure they are serving you.
This points to a serious paradigm shift. Many people have been introduced to law of attraction principles. Many more have studied success strategies. They both, in their own way, advocate being something before you can achieve it. If you wish to be successful, act as a successful person would. If you start saying the things successful people do and doing the things successful people do, before long you are a success.
When it comes to health, this is even more important. When you change your identity to a healthy person,(big shift there) you begin to talk and act differently. Would a healthy person sit on the couch all day eating tacos and binge watching their favorite shows? Probably not. They would read articles about health. They would meal prep. They would make movement a part of their day.
This is easy to understand from a personal standpoint, but what about your life in general? It works in much the same fashion. If you believed life was a miracle, you would talk and act in a different way. If your life was a miracle, which we will get to in a moment, taking a moment for gratitude would be second nature. Having compassion for others would just be who you are. The meaninglessdrama? It wouldn’t bother you.
Your life is a miracle! The odds of a particular sperm reaching the egg first are greater than winning the lottery! We all have certain medical issues, but considering the list of every human malady, having only the ones we do is a miracle.
Then there is the fact our life hasn’t ended. There used to be a show called 1000 ways to die. It highlighted, if I may use that term, unique and crazy ways people have went to the great beyond. If you have noticed how people drive these days, it is amazing we make it to the grocery store and back! The way our body can heal itself – miracle. The way chance meetings can turn into life-long friends – miracle. The fact the most beautiful woman in the world continues to love this crazy author despite myself – best miracle ever.
OK, so the last one was a little personal, but you get the picture. Life is a miracle. Try writing that very phrase down. “Life is a miracle.” Put it somewhere you will see it everyday. Try repeating it to yourself every morning and watch your life change. You will begin to appreciate and see miracles everywhere. Life is a miracle. It is about time we act like it.
We may all have different paths, but we share many of the same goals and aspirations. It is time to focus on those instead of the division that has been driving us apart. Ask yourself who benefits by having us divided? It does not make our streets safer. It does not help solve any issue we are facing. Quite the opposite. We need to work together to accomplish anything. Which is why governments are not usually good at solving issues. They are often stuck bickering with themselves about who is right. They ignore, or do not see the profit in, both sides being able to be right.
If we are to take any issue, there are many things that opposing sides have in common and can agree on. Instead of building a foundation of agreement and learning to compromise on differences, they reduce themselves to blaming each other. When the day is done, nothing gets solved. How can we begin to change this? First, vote for individuals focused more on results than political affiliation. Second, learn to practice these virtues ourselves. Learn to communicate and work with those with whom we may differ. Be an example for the youth. Serve as a beacon of hope in a world that desperately needs one.
Imagine how much we could solve if we all made an effort to respect and worked together? The fact that it may sound like a fantasy in today’s world should convey the sense of urgency that we should employ these tactics. To paraphrase a tree metaphor, the best time to start respecting each other and working together would be 20 years ago, the second best time is now. Someone has to take the first step. Someone has to make the first compromise, let that be us!
There are many people who are concerned about the world today. Rightfully so. The question often asked is what we can do to bring decency and humanity back to the world. It is a very good question that has many answers. The first are things we can do on a national level. We can speak with our vote. We can pay attention to laws that are up for debate and respond with the officials we elect.
If we truly want global change, the best way to do so is to start by acting locally. We can be an example for the change we wish to see in the world. This can include treating others in a manner in which we would like to see people treating each other. We can begin by creating loving and accepting communities. The more we do that, the more loving and accepting communities we will have on our planet. It may seem that working to create loving households and communities will not lead to global change, but it is the best way to do so. Inspire children. Show kindness to strangers. These are ways in which we can overwhelm the world with love and kindness.
When enough of us engage in behavior to enact this overwhelm, the world will be change. Start with where you are and what you have. The world will be changed by you making a difference in your family and your household.
In a world where division is more common than ever, revenge is something we are starting to see more of. It may also be a result of lack of personal accountability. A lot of us may never meet face to face. There are a lot of people who are ‘keyboard warriors’. Saying hurtful and mean things they would not only be hesitant to say in person, but have little to no business saying in the first place. There are plenty of reasons to see something you do not like and just move past it. Feeling the need to put a sarcastic or mean comment on every social media post you don’t like is not only unnecessary, it drains your productive energy as well.
When you proceed to engage negatively it does not always impact the person you are engaging with, but it will always affect you. Going around trying to get back at people you disagree with or you feel have done you wrong will have you focused on what you perceive as wrong in the world. It will have you in a negative vibration state and may even prevent you from noticing many of the blessings that all of our lives contain. Instead, let those who are consumed by doing negative destroy themselves while you build a bigger and better life for yourself. Give all the energy to yourself and your life, not to their negative actions. You will get further and eventually life will come for them.
It is an interesting fact is that we all are made up of the same elements. 65% of which is oxygen, followed shortly behind with carbon at 18.5%. This alone should deter some of the racists and bigots, but I will leave that for a different day. What I want to talk about is the carbon. roughly 20% of all of us are made up of carbon which is pretty much what charcoal is made of. Before you start feeling like a worthless piece of coal, let’s look at what happens when that coal is put under heat and pressure. It transforms into a diamond!
Next time you feel like the heat is on in your life, or you feel the pressure starting to get to you, think of this piece of coal. Say to yourself, or out loud if you are daring, “Looks like my carbon is being turned into a diamond!” The longer we go through life, the more pressure and heat we will go through. If done right, we can transform into a diamond. If we are treated poorly, it can strengthen our resolve to treat others with compassion and kindness. When we are ignored, it can remind us to include others.
There is a cliche that the challenges of life should make us better and not bitter. The point of that is that we have a choice. Let us decide better. Let us decide to become a diamond. Remember to say to yourself, “This challenge is turning my carbon into a diamond.”
Here is a picture of a sign from the 50th birthday party my lovely lady threw me about a month ago. With our insanely busy lives, we forgot to take it down until today. Here is a pretty cool aspect of that forgetting. Every morning I leave for work at about 4:30 in the morning. On my way to the car, I catch this sign out of the corner of my eye. My first thought is not that it would be far too early to remove the sign, or that I leave such little time to get to work that I do not have the time to stop and attend to such matters. My first thought is so much more powerful and helpful to starting my day off right.
No, the first thought that comes to mind is how much effort and love must have went into throwing me that party. Realizing you are that loved, by someone so amazing, is the best way to start the day. Even though the sign is down now, I will still see it in my head and feel the same way. Funny how when you train your mind to see what you have to be grateful for in your life, everything feels so amazing. This woman puts a smile on my face even at 4 in the morning when she is still blissfully sleeping.
Speaking of great memories, the above photo is yet another example. That is the afore-mentioned lovely lady and I enjoying a little coffee. In case you have not heard, Starbucks is closing over 500 of its locations and one of them was a location we had been to many times. This was the last day it was open and I thought it would be a good idea to create one more memory there. We stopped and spoke with some of the workers about their future plans. Margie even made friends with a dog she saw. Now, every time that I drive by that location, I will remember not only all of the great memories we had there, but this last day they were open when I was able to share one last coffee with the woman I love.
This is yet another example of a memory that we created at this particular coffee shop. We were both working on bringing my second book, Living the Dream, to creation. This post is not about living in the past, but rather being present enough to consider what great memories certain situations would create. It is also about creating and appreciating new ones. Today I am taking my love to the movies to see a film we have never seen and to a new restaurant for dinner. This will be creating two new memories to treasure into the future. When you are able to look back with an attitude of gratitude, it makes all of life magical. Even the hard days seem like a victory.
I believe if Plato were alive today, he would have included both genders in this quote. I also believe his name would not have been Plato, but we shall move on. One of the reasons that he used the masculine in this quote is that women did not have as much power as they do now. Although, it is my humble opinion we could benefit with more women in powerful positions. I am sure most of you reading this would agree.
One of the things that I would advocate is using this quote for some self-reflection. How do you use your power? You might be thinking to yourself, “Neil, I do not really have any power.” This could not be further from the truth. Each one of us has a great deal of power that we let atrophy to a great deal. If we are parents, we have a great ability to inspire and lead our children by example. If we are in a relationship, we have the power to help nurture and grow with our partner. We have the power to make them feel valued and appreciated, or worthless and taken for granted. We actually have this power over almost everyone we meet. When your retail experience is taking longer than expected, do you berate and belittle the person behind the counter or do you thank them for their efforts despite the frustrating circumstances? Even if the service is poor, which does seem to be happening with a greater frequency, we never know the story behind what is going on. Perhaps they are dealing with a mental health issue. Maybe they were never properly taught how to deal with others?
When you smile at a stranger you are using your power. The same is true if you glare at them. When you support your hard-working spouse, that is using your power. When you work hard for your family, that is using your power. When you complain, sit around not doing much, that is also using your power. One is for the greater good, the other – not so much. If you have a skill, whether that is baking, inspiring others or even being a good listener, what do you do with that skill? That is how you are using your power!
Spend a few minutes today thinking about the powers you have. That could be the power to inspire. The power to help. The power to encourage. The power to positively influence. What ways can you start to use more of these powers? Are there ways you are failing to use your power? Worse, are there ways in which, unknowingly, you are negatively using your power? If we are honest, I think there are ways in which we can all use our power a little more and a little better. I would love to hear what you think.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 