Just a little reminder to approach the work week with a winning mindset. Whatever the world has in store for you, it is nothing compared to what you have inside of you! We believe in you! You got this!
SUNDAY NIGHT REMINDER
IT IS ALL ABOUT CONTROL 🛂
Here is something that is simple to understand, but far from easy to do. That is not to let outside circumstances and people control your emotions. This is more difficult the closer the people are to you. The more they mean to you, the more emotional reaction they can cause you to experience. That is, only if you let them. I am not advocating you become an unfeeling zombie. Far from it. What I am advocating is to not only control, but choose what emotions you feel.
If you are one of the 95% of people who go through life without taking a look inwards, this concept that you have any control of your emotions may seem foreign to you. Here is the truth. What you feel depends on the meaning you assign to someone’s behavior or words. If a stranger walks up and tells you they do not like you, it may bother you but beyond that you will go about your day. If a good friend tells you the same thing, it has a far greater impact. The emotion you choose in response to that will dictate your behavior, which will go a long way to deciding the fate of not only that interaction, but the life of the friendship.
This becomes even more difficult when the person’s behavior is down right disrespectful. Even then, you have the option, as Sun Tzu so plainly put it, to respond intelligently. You may ask what some man named after a star has anything to do with your life. Sun Tzu wrote the amazing book, The Art of War. It not only has timeless advice for military combat, but can be applied to your business and personal life as well.
When you pause and choose how to respond to a situation, you take control of that situation. In the case of our friend telling us they do not like us, we can choose several ways to respond. We can be defensive and inform them that we no longer like them. We may even go on to list their faults and how we feel we are better than them. That is responding from a place of hurt and anger. It will not only do little to solve the original complaint our friend may have, we have now widened the chasm between our hearts. If we are interested in maintaining this friendship, it would serve us far better to respond with a genuine caring and inquisitive question about what made our friend change their mind about our relation. We not only may preserve the friendship, we may also make room for it to grow and become closer. As an added bonus, we may learn something about ourselves.
I am not a fool to think that this is an easy process. I still struggle with it on occasion as well. What we must understand is that when we allow someone to affect us emotionally, we, in effect, become their servant and they become our master. We relinquish control of the situation and the repercussions that will result. A far wiser and more intelligent response would be to consider what outcome you wish for the situation. Another question to ask yourself is the effects of the negative emotions on our mental and physical well-being worth handing over control to our emotions? As I said in the beginning of this post, it is not easy. We need tools and strategies, many of which can be found in the articles on this website, to help us gain control. The price we will pay to do that will be well worth it.
“NO”VEMBER 🚫
As our calendars flip over to November, let us take advantage of the first two letters of the month. What do we need to say “No” to more in our lives? What do we do that steals our joy and robs us of living an amazing life? Is it getting stressed on our morning commute? Say “No!” to that. How? Maybe by bringing an audio book, or our happy playlist along while we drive. If you are not sure what that is, feel free to check out either of my first two books for a better explanation. Is it going to a job that steals our soul? Say “No!” to that. How? Either by finally leaving that job to find something more aligned with your purpose, or maybe finding things to be grateful for at work to focus on.
This month, ask yourself, “What should I being saying “No” to more in my life?” Once you figure out what that is, you can begin to think of ways in which you can do so. Make it fun. Make it a game. Enjoy the process and know for sure that you will enjoy the results!
ONE WORD THAT MAKES ALL OF THE OTHER WORDS BETTER ☝️
Have you ever had something you really wanted to do, but life kept getting in the way? That is the story of this post. The idea came to me at work a few days ago. The more I let it bounce around in my head, the more I realized how important it was to living an amazing life. I could not wait to sit down behind the keyboard and put my thoughts together. Then, life happened. There was a DJ gig for elementary school children. That was two straight hours of screaming. There was checking in on someone’s cat in a snowstorm. FYI, I am not a fan of cats or snowstorms. It seemed like every time I wanted to sit down and write, something came up.
Today, I determined that after my 9 hour shift, I was going to stop at a coffee shop on the way home and get these words out today. Only to discover that the Wi-Fi at the coffee shop was not working with my computer. Ironically, this plays into the very subject that we are going to discuss today. As the title says, one word to make all of the other words better.
It began with a text conversation I was having with this lovely lady right here. Margie and I have a really great relationship, but just like everyone else’s, it needs looking after and requires a lot of work and effort on both of our behalf. This particular morning, I was mentioning that we could stand to focus more on a certain area that was getting slightly neglected. Margie agreed, and we began to come up with solutions to do just that. I began to think of what are the aspects of a relationship. You have friendship. You must be able to be your partner’s best friend and all that goes with that. There is romance. You must find ways in which to capture their heart and make them feel like they are floating. Lastly, there is sensuality. That is what separates a romantic relationship from a platonic one.
The crazy part of having a successful relationship is that one of these areas always seems to need a little attention. If you have been supporting your partner, trying to places for dinner and exploring new museums together, the friendship side feels pretty strong. Then your partner asks if you still love them? Your first thought may be, “What the —–?” Before you realize that all of those things, while enjoyable, were quite platonic. So, you become diligent with expressing your loving feelings, maybe even brought home some flowers and spent hours walking in the park holding hands. You are starting to feel confident when you partner asks, “Are you still attracted to me?” You realize that although you have been loving, you need to be more sensual. You plan a weekend a weekend getaway, a nice bottle of wine and some alone time in bed with the two of you. After a pleasurably exhausting weekend, you partner asks if the two of you should spend more time working on your connection, by say exploring new places to eat or museums together.
It occurred to me how much an ideal relationship is a balancing act. Yes, balance is the word that makes every word better. When you pay attention to one aspect of your relationship, another gets less attention. When you start to pay more attention to the one that is being neglected, then a third pops up, and so it continues. We need to discover what are the important areas of our relationship and work on providing balance to them. Often, when one person in a relationship feels unhappy or even unsatisfied, it is not that anything is wrong, it may often just be unbalanced.
You could literally go through the dictionary and pick out a word and discover the important balance needed in a relationship. Let us take communication. To me, that is one of, if not the, most important aspects of a relationship. There must be many balances in communication. You must communicate your love in both verbal and not verbal ways. You must balance what kind of communication you are giving your partner. Is it loving? Is it supportive? Is it encouraging? I think we could all agree a little of all of those would make a great relationship.
While reading this, and even while I was thinking of it, the fact that there is a lot of work involved here did not escape me. Do you know what that means? There is also a lot of opportunity to make your relationship better! Even if it is great right now, there are ways in which you could use a little more balance. In what areas could your relationship use a little more balance? Can you imagine how much more loving and strong your relationship would be if you worked on creating that balance?
YOU NEVER KNOW…😳
If you have been in the self-improvement arena for any length of time, you have undoubtedly seen this picture. It is worth another reminder here at the midweek point. We never know how close we are. Our goal may just be one more away.
This could be one more call, one more email. At the gym it could be one more workout before we start seeing and feeling the results. In our relationship, it could be one more “I love you” to melt the heart of the one we love. Don’t give up! Remember, results could be one more away.
CAN YOU GET RID OF THIS?🤔
I’m one of those people that have way too many old clothes in their closet. Shirts from runs I did in the past. Shirts from places I’ve vacationed. They all seem to have memories attached to them. Maybe I’m just too sentimental? Regardless, we all have something difficult to part with
As the quote above says, one of the most difficult is an old version of ourselves. That is why moving on from an old relationship can be so hard. It is also why overcoming an addiction can be almost impossible. Tony Robbins has said one of the most powerful things to a person is their sense of identity.
This is why how we view things can be so vital to our success. If we say, “I am a procrastinator.” That is our identity. If, on the other hand, we say, “I’m a person who used to procrastinate, but now I’m ready to change!” That does not tie our actions to our identity. Just because you have always done this or that, does not mean you are doomed to repeat that action for eternity.
What old versions of you are you ready to let go of? Better yet, what new versions of who you are, will you be willing to give birth to?
YOU GOT THIS!
It’s Monday. Often, a tough day for many of us. What we need is tools and strategies that can give us that extra boost we need. This can be a motivational Playlist, affirmations taped on our mirror, pictures of loved ones or anything else that works for you.
Ideally, these should be put together when we are in a good state. That way we can think more rationally. What is your motivational tools and strategies? Share with all of us so we may have more at our disposal
SIT BACK AND RELAX
Make sure to reflect on your blessings and all you have to be grateful for, before beginning the work week.
CREATE A SPARK THIS WEEKEND! ✨️
It is Saturday, the start of the weekend. For most of us, we are looking for relaxation and sleeping in. If we are feeling a little industrious, we may try to get caught up on all of the household chores we let slip during the week. These are all good options, but I caution you on leaving out one very important item.
A recent survey showed that 87% of people are unhappy at their job. It is easy to see why this happens. You start to get seniority, maybe save up some vacation and even invest in a retirement program. It is vital to remember that we were not born to wake up, pay bills and die. No! We were meant to bring to the world the happiest, most joyous version of ourselves.
How can we do that while going to a job that sucks the life out of us? By pursuing and engaging in a passion project. You may be thinking, “I have too much on my plate now! I just want to relax.” The truth is complicated. Have you ever slept only to wake up still exhausted and uninspired? We need to stoke the fire in our soul.
Adding a project you are passionate about may seem like something that will only drain you further, but the opposite is true. Working on something you enjoy, something you’re excited about, will give you more energy. It will give you hope and something to look forward to. Who knows, you may even end up making it your career! Whether that happens or not, just having that joy is life-changing.
TAKE ACTION!
This weekend, what actions are you going to take to build both your life and your confidence? Remember, these don’t have to be completing a project, or achieving a goal, just taking actions to propel yourself forward. It is getting in the gym to get that workout done. It is spending time on that meal prep. It might not get you in shape, or help you drop that weight that day, but it will give you the confidence to keep going.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 