This site is all about finding tools and strategies to set ourselves up to win at the game of life. To turn our lives from one of striving, to one of thriving.
I came across this little saying in one of the many positive pages I subscribe to on social media. Not only do I like the message, but I thought how powerful it could be as a daily morning mantra. Can you imagine having this printed out, hung on the bathroom mirror and reciting it out loud to yourself every morning? Can you imagine how that might impact and change your life? You don’t have to imagine! Print, or write, this out! Hang it on the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and recite this every morning.Try it for 3 weeks and watch the magic happen!
I am big fan of the 80’s. Not only is it the decade in which I grew up, but I feel a lot of great music and films came out of that era. John Hughes, was a great filmmaker in the 80’s. One of his most popular films was Breakfast Club. A coming of age film that helped launch several careers. In the movie, kids from several different social cliques are forced together to serve detention on a Saturday afternoon. The principal requires them all to write a paper explaining who they are and why they are there. What is supposed to be a punishment, turns into an opportunity for the kids to transcend their peer created barriers and discover they have a lot more in common than they knew, or willing to admit.
You would think the lessons learned in a movie 38 years ago (I am feeling old now) should be something we mastered. Yet, in 2023 we can feel more divided than ever. People are being attacked for their color, their religion or their political beliefs. High school kids, disconnected through a world existing mostly online, never are forced to get to know each other. We still belong to certain social cliques. Not only as children, but as adults. As we grow older we tend to limit our exposure to those who are different than us. In some cases, we even vilify them. In the same turn, we often work to impress those we are associating with.
If we were to change our focus to bettering ourselves, I think we would discover a great deal about ourselves as well as others. That lesson is that despite our differences, we share many of the same struggles and aspirations. By focusing on bettering ourselves, we can be both an example as well as a source of hope for others. You only learn something by exposing yourself to something new. That not only holds true for books and experiences, but for people as well.
Let us all take a lesson from this movie from the 80’s. (watching it again might not be a bad idea) Let us take the time to really learn about those who are different from us instead of judging them. Let us change our focus from impressing others by making our life look perfect, to admitting our faults and vulnerabilities and working on improving them. This way, our life will not only look better, it will actually be better.
As so often happens, as I was writing my last post, a revelation occurred to me. There are 2 words that can really help us in living an amazing life. We are going to share those with you today, and hopefully you can find ways to apply them in your own life. Even better, you can share how you do so with all of us on this site. The more ideas we have, and the more we work together, the more likely we all are to live an amazing life.
The first word is tradition. In life, I find it is helpful to have traditions. We are not talking about traditions that you feel obligated to do. Quite the opposite. These are ones that bring you joy, inner peace or any other wonderful feeling. I mentioned that I had my yearly vacation at the Wisconsin State Fair. Without even knowing it, I applied these two words to make it one of the best years I have spent there. Which is saying a lot.
In terms of traditions, there are plenty we have. One of which can be found in the first photo. It is food from one of the stands, Krautland. We enjoy the family that owns it and the amazing hospitality they provide. The second, a more recent addition, is a picture of the dog diving. These dogs compete by catching toys the owners toss into a 40 foot pool. Both the crowd and the dogs have an amazing time. When we take part in either of these events, we are not only creating new memories, but reflecting on the great memories of the past. It always gives us something to look forward to.
The second word we touched on last post. That word is new. I think finding something fun and new is the key to keeping life fresh and exciting. We want to avoid falling in the trap of feeling like we are in a rut. Nothing can deflate the spirit more than feeling like there is nothing to be nervous or excited about. Again, I will use my recent vacation as an example of how to incorporate this. We discussed how we used tradition in the paragraph above, here is how we used newness. People often ask how I do not get bored going to the fair every year. Simple, I enjoy the traditions, and incorporate new things. This year, we did new foods such as a sweet potato latte, and the brat-e-o. We also went to different parts of the park such as the new Valentine coffee shop. I discovered a new local band I like. These are only 4 of the new things we tried among many.
In our lives, it is important to blend the traditions we know will bring us joy with the excitement of the new and unknown. When it comes to both, keep and open mind and be flexible. Perhaps the new restaurant you try may not be to your liking. That is ok. Maybe the tradition you enjoy may not work out as it has in the past. That does not mean you have to give it up. All of these are just stories and memories to create and share together. Tradition and new may seem like opposites, but they can work together to create an amazing life. How about you? What traditions and methods for incorporating something new do you have?
Today is my first day back at the day job after 2 weeks of vacation. I enjoyed every day of the Wisconsin State Fair. I made new friends. I created some new opportunities as well as learned some new things. I just realized that is a lot of ‘new’. One of the best discoveries was a new tradition that my lovely Margie and I started. The State Fair opened daily at 10am. As someone who usually gets up at 4am for work, I was usually up with plenty of time to get myself ready and enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee. Margie has started a new workout schedule with her daughter. Can I mention how proud I am of her? This meant she was usually up early as well. We sat on our porch and drank a cup of coffee together. Shared our plans for the day and thoughts that were on our mind. Reflecting on that, it was one of the best parts of my vacation!
As I return to work, I realize that paradise may not be available to me. Being that I leave for work around 420am, I do not see Margie, or myself waking up at 3 to sit on the porch and enjoy a cup of coffee. Another great paradise that occurred happened when I was attending the fair with my mother. It was early and the crowd was still light. The temperature was around 83 degrees. After enjoying a breakfast burrito and pancakes, we got a hot cup of coffee (perfect on a hot summer morning) and a doughnut. New to the fair this year was a shared stand with a local bakery, and my favorite local coffee, Valentine. We took it to the ‘Central Mall’ area of the fair and got a table in the sun. As we got our dose of vitamin D, the band Banana Wind, which neither of us had heard of, began to play. They filled the air with songs of the topics. The sun was shining, the music was tropical, I had my favorite local coffee and a sample of 3 different local doughnuts. In the middle of January, when the temperature falls south of the zero mark, this will not be an option. Actually, it never was an option again, as that band only played that morning.
This post may begin to sound a bit depressing. “Great Neil. You found some amazing experiences and now you can’t do them anymore.” This is true to some extent. This is where asking yourself the question, “How can I use this?” comes into play. There are two words that come to mind – adjust and reflect. I will not be able to sit on the porch every morning and sip coffee with my love. However, I do know that on my days off, that will be something to look forward to! We can also do so when I get home from work.What a better way to unwind? As for the second episode, reflecting on what a great time my mother and I had that day in the sun, will be good to ponder when winter days get me down. It will also be fun to share that memory and reflect together! As I always say, just because you can’t be there physically, doesn’t mean you can’t be there mentally.
How about your life? What are the moments of paradise you have? Is there a way to visit them often? Maybe create a photo album of that vacation to the tropics? You can look through it and take yourself back whenever you need a little escape. How about special times with those you love and care about? It is a must to schedule those into your routine, and do so often. I would love to hear about your paradise and how you go there in your life.
Today, take a pause from reacting to what others say. Instead, really work to understand them so instead you may respond intelligently. If you really listen to understand what the person is telling you, not only will you have a better chance of knowing what they are truly saying, but you will deepen that relationship.
This week, do not listen to reply, but listen to understand.
Today marks both the end of the Wisconsin State Fair that I enjoy so much, as well as my vacation. Next week I will be back with my nose to the grindstone, as they say.
In order not to feel down, I must switch my focus to what will begin. I’m joining a new gym, or two, since mine closed without warning. Work on my fourth book, which I am very excited about, will begin in earnest. There will be a return to healthy eating and delicious meals prepared by the love of my life.
There is more to look forward to, but shifting your focus to beginnings helps us all feel better about an end. Just a thought to dwell on today.
This is the last weekend of my vacation. I have not been eating the best, to put it eloquently. We should all keep an eye on our diet this weekend. As the picture above says, that is far more than just food or drink.
Diet is what we also put into our minds. This can be the depressing news show we are watching. It can be the inspiring book,or blog post, you are reading. Are you listening to someone complaining, or a great audiobook? How about what you put in your spirit? We may not help having to be stuck in traffic, but we can balance that with a walk in nature. Do something everyday that brings you peace.
Pau attention to your diet this weekend. Watch what you put in your body, but also in your mind and your spirit. I would love to hear some things you put in your diet to be healthy. These can be for you mind, body or spirit.
As I make my way through the sea of humanity at the Wisconsin State Fair, I noticed a disturbing trend. That is the amount of negative and sarcastic t-shirts I see people wearing. I’m no fashion mogul, but I find this to be a terrible choice. Here is a sample of what I saw- “when it comes to your opinion, I don’t f#$king care” “you would do the world a favor if you were not here” and one gentleman proudly wearing a shirt (that did appear a size or 2 smaller than it should be) that said “straight out of Uranus” which,I guess, would make him a piece of… you get the idea.
I’m sure when these people purchased these shirts they may of chuckled. Can you imagine reading shirt after shirt with messages like this? I thought about the shirt that said “it would be better if you weren’t here“ All I could think of was how many people are waking around barely hanging on. Even reading such a message on a t-shirt could put them over the edge. Not to mention, having something on your shirt is really the equivalent of waking up and saying it to everyone who reads it. That can be sharing your uninspiring message with a lot of folks.
Here is another crazy thing I saw. Businesses who fill their stands and merchandise with sarcastic and negative items. There was a restaurant who’s shirts say “nobody cares. You suck.” What a great message to be associated with your brand. I’m sure to them is was a humorous and harmless saying on a t-shirt. I would wager some of these people also are asking, “Why is the world becoming such a negative place?”
One shirt with a negative saying may seem harmless enough. Perhaps it is, but filling the world with them seems to be a step in the wrong direction if you ask me. Many of us have days where we struggle just to keep our head above water. Reading messages meant to insult and bring us down at every turn can make that job even harder. Ask yourself this question next time you put that shirt on.What will it accomplish? Would you walk up to everyone you pass and say that to them? Would you want people to walk up and say it to you?
Here is a little exercise that I like to do just like Walt Whitman. It drove teachers, pastors and parents nuts. I question everything. Even my doctor. When he tells me, “Neil, you have ____. Just take ____ and it will get better.” That is not good enough for me. I ask how I got it, what can I do to help heal it and how can I prevent getting it in the future. Lately, he seems a bit too annoyed with these questions. It may be time for a new doctor.
We often accept things we were told as children without questioning them as adults. Things our parents, teachers, the government and even doctors have told us years, sometimes decades ago. That’s not to say all of this is wrong, but I think most things are with a second look.
It reminds me of the story of thecircus elephant tied to the small stake. Looking at this, you may wonder, “Why would the elephant not pull the stake out of the ground and walk to freedom?” He tried that and he was young and they first tied him up to the stake. He was small and weak and was unable to pull the stake out of the ground. Now that he is large and strong, he never decides to question whether or not the situation has changed.
Reading this, you may come to the conclusion that elephants are dumb,or at least intellectually inferior to us. Before you quickly judge, ask yourself one thing. Is this not what humans do when they allow themselves to be chained by opinions and beliefs from their past?
We are constantly learning new things and having new experiences. Does it not make sense to take a fresh look at old beliefs with a new perspective? You may find some no longer hold true for you. You may also find you are even more passionate about others. How about you? Are there some things you might want to question in your life?
As you can see, here at secret2anamazinglife.com, we are celebrating 400 days straight of bringing you motivational and inspirational content. Technically, we are on vacation right now. Even while enjoying the bliss that is time away from the daily grind we must still keep our goals firmly in sight. In this case, that is sharing a post everyday this year.
How about you? What goals are you pursuing? What are the likely distractions that could get you off course? Even by writing them down, you are more likely to overcome them because you will be on the lookout for them. This week, focus on your goals. Hopefully you already have those writtendown. If not, do so right away. Also write down distractions that may tripyou up so you can be on the lookout for them as well.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 