Category: Uncategorized

WE CAN CHANGE THIS!🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

Today is Monday. It is a day of dread for many. Back to work after 2 days worth of freedom. The beginning of the workweek. Which, for many of us, includes spending a large amount of time at a place we don’t really enjoy, with people we also do not enjoy. Considering all of this, it is no wonder we start to get that feeling in the pit of our stomach on Sunday night, knowing what will happen once the sun rises. (or in my case, before the sun rises)

Here is the thing – Monday is no different than many other days. While it is true that it is the beginning of the workweek and having to wake up to an alarm, it is also the beginning of the opportunity to start earning money to put towards that vacation. It is also a chance for us to demonstrate our character and work ethic. When I say this, I am not talking about showing off, or sucking up to a boss or coworkers. No, I am talking about demonstrating our character to both ourselves and those whose opinions we value.

Every morning we overcome the temptation to throw the alarm clock across the room and bury ourselves further in the covers, we are demonstrating a certain amount of character and self-discipline. When we push ourselves to not only show up at work, but do a job that we are proud of, that gives us a self of pride. What does that pride do for us? It gives us a sense of self-confidence, which in turn will make the self-discipline easier in the future.

We would not be able to build our character, build our self-discipline and our sense of inner-pride without the challenge of Monday. It boils down to a change in perception. If we lived a life of sloth and convenience, which does sound tempting on occasion, we would be weak individuals unable to withstand the storms of life. Much like going to the gym to strengthen our bodies, waking up to Monday helps us to strengthen our mental and morale fiber.

Do not fear or dread Monday. Understand it is a chance to get better, to get stronger and to create the best version of you. It takes resistance to grow strength. That is as true when it comes to your character and self-discipline as it is for your body. Monday is not the scary villain, it is our personal trainer for our self-discipline and inner-strength. The payoff is not muscles, it is something more powerful. By using Monday, instead of letting it use us, we develop pride, self-confidence and the ability to rise above who we currently are.

A LITTLE TIP TO REMEMBER 🤔

Just a quick reminder on your Sunday, that you should make a point to be kind to the person in the mirror? How often do we give ourselves a compliment? When we do, does it feel awkward? If so, that is a sign that we need to do it more often!

Realizing that there are awesome things about us, and mentioning them to ourselves, does not make us arrogant. We seem to mention and discuss what is wrong with us and not working in our lives quite often. How does that make us feel? Try saying something good about yourself. Even though none of us are perfect, we all have some amazing things inside of us. Let’s appreciate a few today. 😃

BOY, THAT’S SWEET! 🍨

Today, at least in part of the country, we celebrate Sweetest Day. It is a holiday that started in Ohio in 1921. It was started as a way to encourage women to treat their male romantic partners with sweets and candy. This really wouldn’t work in my case as I am not a huge fan of sweets and candy. This is a good thing when you live with a woman who is an amazing baker. I fear if I was a big fan, I would be bigger than my house right now. The holiday has expanded in recent years to include showing love and appreciation to anyone in your life. This includes family, friends as well as significant others.

I am going to take it one step further. I think we should show love and appreciation for everything sweet in our life. Right now, I am sitting in the sun, with a nice cup of coffee typing away. To me, this is a very sweet situation. I was recently asked to speak in front of a congregation for a church I do not even attend. That was also pretty sweet. I have a job that pays me a pretty good wage. Not exactly what I want to be doing, but still it is pretty sweet that I am employed. I have great friends that care about me. I have three books that I can use to reach and inspire people I do not even know. This particular blog is viewed by over 100,000 people in over 200 countries. That is sweet!

Many people just cynically say things like, “Oh, that is just a Hallmark holiday.” As a note, although the holiday started in 1921, Hallmark did not start making Sweetest Day cards until the 1960s. I am sure confectionaries and floral shops have a vested interest in keeping holidays like this alive, but who cares? Instead of dismissing something as an example of corporate greed, why not put it to use in our own lives? Why not use this holiday to fill our lives with more joy and love?

Here is another way to do so. In addition to thinking of all the things that may be sweet in your life, how about thinking of how many different ways things are sweet? Above are pictures of my beautiful lady, Margie. How many ways is she sweet? In addition to the fact that she is often covered in powdered sugar from baking, there are so many ways she is sweet. The first picture is of her sweet smile. It always melts my heart and brings a smile to it as well. The second is one of the million silly faces she makes. Not only does she always look cute as can be, but I am happy she shares them with me. That is quite sweet! The third one reminds me of her sweet kisses. Some of the best medicine that money can’t even buy! Sweeter kisses? I don’t know of any. The fourth and last picture is of her after one of her tough workouts that she does. Keeping herself healthy and working hard on herself? That is sweet indeed! Those were just 4 things about my amazing lady. I would share more, but I am already going to be in trouble for posting these four pictures. There are so many sweet things about her, I could go on for hours. That, in and of itself, is something sweet!

It doesn’t have to be your significant other. It can be your child, your friend. It can be a coworker or someone who means a lot to you. Here is the great thing, it doesn’t even have to be a person! It can be your favorite place to relax. It can be a park or beach you really like. It can be your favorite book. It can be your favorite coffee. There are so many things in life that are sweet. If we think about even a few of them and ponder what we love and appreciate about them, guess how we will be feeling? You guessed it, pretty sweet! I would love to hear some of what you find sweet in your life! Forget the cynical view of a Hallmark holiday. Use this to fill your heart with love, appreciation and gratitude!

LET THIS GUIDE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE 🧬

I apologize in advance for two heavy posts in a row. Part of the reason we, at Secret2anamazinglife.com, exist is to give you new ways of thinking. Marcus Aurelius, whom we get the quote above from, has given us a lot of things to ponder. If you have read my book, The Beat Goes On, you will know how this quote was really brought home to me. If you have not read that amazing book, what are you waiting for? In all seriousness, I was faced with the possibility, and it turned out probability, that I would die while undergoing open-heart surgery.

When I share that story, people often compliment me on my perspective of the whole event. I hear things like, “I wonder if I would be the same way if I was faced with that situation?” Here is a fact to consider, you are facing that situation. Sure, nobody may be coming to saw your chest in half and slice and dice your heart, but we never know what is around the corner. When you were born, the hourglass was tipped over and the sand began to run out. Here is the tricky bit, we never know how much sand is on top.

While the above may sound a bit doom and gloom, it really isn’t. Every morning we put our feet on the floor, the sand is running from top to bottom. When we do things like assuming people know how we feel, or how much they mean to us, we could be doing them a great disservice. Marcus Aurelius was quite correct when he said, “You could die right now.” Not a very cheery outlook, but that does not make it any less true. In my case, I had an aneurism, which had it exploded, the game would have been over. I honestly had no symptoms. If it were not for a slightly related item, I would have never know until I fell over dead.

How much sand is in the top of your hourglass? When are you going to slip into the great beyond? How is it going to happen? If you answered anything but “I don’t know.” to these questions, you have a power unknown to most humans. Here is another thing to consider, the same holds true for everyone else you know. One day they could be here, the next they could be gone. Again, kind of morbid sounding, but true. This is why we should be living our life to the fullest each and every day. Do not be afraid to ask the deep questions. Do not be afraid to make yourself vulnerable and share those feelings. What if it was your last chance to do so? At one point, it will be.

It is my suggestion to take the quote above and make it a guide for the rest of your life. When I was looking at what could possibly be my end, I discovered what I thought was important was not at all what was in my heart. It is not about obtaining a certain level of success. It is certainly not about reaching a certain monetary or material level. I can only share what was important to me at that moment. When I realized I may only have a few months to live, it was about leaving people with the knowledge of how important and beautiful they were. This was true especially for my lovely lady and those closest to me. It was also true for all of you reading these posts. I wanted the world to know that each one of us has a gift and something beautiful worth sharing. Something that will be lost when we are gone. My focus was on creating lasting memories. Remember your last breath may be your next one, what will it be used to say? When you find yourself a little too focused on the material things that the world wants you to believe is important, think of this quote from Denzel Washington.

WHEN? THE TIME IS NOW!

Currently, in Israel there is terrible bloodshed. The same is true in the Ukraine. In both cases there are groups wanting to take vengeance on each other for all of the terrible violence being committed. I cannot pretend to have all of the solutions. I can tell you what does not work – violence and revenge. If you conquer another group through fear, violence and intimidation, that only leaves with a festering resentment that will eventually bubble over into future violence. Meanwhile, millions of lives will be lost. These lives could have contributed many amazing things to the world. We will never know.

It is not just war where this is evident. Here, in the United States, there is a bitter feud between political parties. The Republicans and Democrats are busy “Getting back at each other”. Do you know how much work is focused on the real issues facing the country and the world? None. We are paying these people vast amounts of money to act the same way kids do on the playground. They are not focused on working together to solve the issues. They are almost singularly focused on making the other look bad.

This way of thinking and acting is not reserved for war or foolish politicians. No, you can see it happen around the office. It happens in families and in circles of friends. When will finally work together to solve human misery instead of seeking vengeance for it? Once again, I am not pretending to have the answers. I just know violence and revenge solve nothing.

SECRET TO MY SUCCESS 😜

This is not my review of the Michael J Fox movie that I enjoy. No, it is the actual secret that I use to succeed. Above is a not so flattering picture of yours truly. You may be wondering the reason I am sharing that. It shows me leaving the gym this past Saturday at about 7:15am after a one and a half hour workout. That’s right, I woke up at 5am on my off day to go to the gym. This begs another question to many. Why on earth would I do that? This is where the secret to success I use comes up.

I do not fancy myself the smartest, most energetic or have the most free time of anyone I know. Therefore, I have to make up for that in other ways. One of the main ways in which someone can make up for not being the top in these other categories is the self-discipline of hard work. I made a commitment to going to the gym three days a week. Those three are Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I could go, and often do, other days as well, but those three are a requirement. Do you know what would happen if I did not go? Do you know who would hold me accountable? Nobody. In fact, if I didn’t go to the gym one day and just decided to relax, a lot of people would not blame me. I work roughly 45 – 50 hours a week at the post office. I DJ Sunday nights and write these blogs daily. Add to that, working on my fourth book and things can get very busy. A day off would be totally understandable.

Back to the question of why I chose to do it before the sun even got up. Yes, it was still dark out when I got to the gym. Yes, it was cold. Yes, it was raining. Here is the thing. Margie and I were doing a craft fair and had to be there to set up at 8:30am. The fair itself went until 3pm. I knew after that I would really not feel like going to the gym. Still, I had my commitment. The only option was to get up early and go.

I mentioned that nobody would hold me accountable, or give me a hard time if I did not go. That is not entirely true. That little voice in the back of my head would have let me know that I did not keep my commitment to myself. We discussed the issues with this in the post Who is your master, last week. If you haven’t read that one, it might be a good time to do so. I knew that if I did not keep my word to myself that it would begin to erode my opinion of the person I see in the mirror. Was it fun getting up at 5am and going outside in the dark, cold and rain? Hell no. Do you know what was fun? Knowing for the rest of the day that I kept my commitment to myself and to my health. That self-discipline, holding yourself accountable, is what allows me to succeed. It will do the same for you.

WHAT ARE YOU PLANTING THIS WEEKEND?🌿

One of my favorite poets, thanks to Mr. Earl Nightingale. I love the point made here. Life is about what we can leave behind. Making a true difference in the world comes down to creating, or in this case planting, things that we may never benefit from, but that can make a great difference for generations to follow.

This week as we go about our work, let us keep this question in mind, “What are we planting?” Are there things that we are creating that we may never see the benefit of, that will make a difference to future generations? This is the importance of being a good parent. You may not live to see all of the wonderful things your children will do, but raising them right and giving them the tools to do so can change the world after you are gone. Knowing that what you are doing makes a difference, can give hope and inspiration to your day. I would love to hear what you are planting.

WATCH MY LATEST INTERVIEW 👨‍💻

I had the esteemed honor of appearing in the Peak Physique Podcast recently. It was a great discussion on how I became an author, a little about my books and included many great pieces of advice to begin your journey to a healthier and more rewarding life.

If you could use some tips on reducing stress, increasing joy and improving your mental health, then you owe it to yourself to watch this quick interview. Not to mention it contains two very charming and good-looking fellows 😉

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE INTERVIEW 😃

MAKE LIFE BEAUTIFUL 😍

We touched on this theory in the post Live in a loving world. We are going to look at how to make the life we are living a beautiful experience. It is not as difficult as many would like to have you believe. The ‘sky is falling’ or ‘chicken little’ approach taken by many in politics and the media is great for selling, but not necessarily reality. Yes, life is full of challenges, disappoints and loss. It is, however, also full of beauty, opportunity, and abundance. It is really what we choose to focus on. As Tony Robbins says, “What is wrong is always available, but so is what is right.”

I look at this as a challenge of sorts. Can I find the beauty in whatever situation I am going through? I know there is always something beautiful and grateful to be found. In the beginning, the trick is sticking with it long enough to find. What is the payoff for this challenge? Noticing the beauty that is all around us. What is the big deal there? It changes our emotional state. If you stop and think about it, our lives are our emotional states. If you are poor, and are an angry and pissed off person, what is your life? Angry and pissed off. Now if you got money and became a rich angry and pissed off person, what is your reality? It is still angry and pissed off. Therefore, taking charge of our emotional state is taking charge of our life.

The more you can find the beauty that is all around you, the more beautiful your life becomes. Let me use my own current situation as an example. I am writing this in a coffee shop as I so often do. Across from me, a couple is sitting side by side doing their homework together. Rather beautiful. The sun is shining through the windows despite it being a rather chilly October day. This is rather beautiful. Behind me, I hear the sounds of friends laughing together while enjoying a coffee. Laughter is a beautiful sound. The fact that I can enjoy a hot cup of coffee is a beautiful thing. At the turn of the last century, coffee was a rare commodity. Kind of hard to imagine now. Lucky me.

How about your life? What is beautiful in your life? Remember, it doesn‘t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Even the broken can be beautiful. I recall the pain of losing those I loved, and really struggling to find the beauty in that. What I learned was that in order to hurt so greatly, we first have to love so greatly. This is not an opportunity afforded to all. The more loss we feel, the greater we have loved. It also means we are better able to understand and help those who also experience and feel loss. Something we would not be able to do had we not felt the loss ourselves. The beauty in the struggle is the opportunity to feel the victory in overcoming, or even just pushing on. I would love to hear what is beautiful in your life at the moment. The more we stop and look for beauty, the more it will appear. Wouldn’t you like your life to be more beautiful?

YOU ARE WORTH IT!❤️

I think discipline, especially self-discipline, is one of the most attractive qualities. Being able to do what you said you would do, long after the urge to do it has passed, is very admirable. It is not only keeping your word to those you told, but, and perhaps more importantly, it is keeping your word to yourself. How do you think people feel about you when you break your word to them? Not so good would be my guess. They start to trust you less and view you as less reliable. When you do not maintain your self-discipline, that is how you start viewing yourself. It begins to tear down your self-image. This, in turn, affects your self-confidence. Having a poor self-confidence and self-image can lead to a whole host of problems. The inability to put yourself out there. The reluctance to try new things. Missed opportunities.

If we stop to think about it, self-discipline is really self-love. When we keep our world to others and to ourselves, we can hold our heads up high. We have a sense of pride. Not to mention, we do not have the stress that comes with not getting the things we planned on getting done just because we didn’t feel like it. If we only work when we feel like it, we will only go so far. I heard a saying that went something like this, “Motivation gets you started, discipline allows you to finish.”

Next time you feel like ‘giving yourself a break’ and not finishing what you said you would do, realize you are doing yourself a great disservice. You will diminish your standing in both the eyes of others and in the eyes staring back at you in the mirror. Keep your word to yourself. Here is what I have found, the more you act with self-discipline, the easier it becomes. If you take control of your mind, instead of it controlling you, the muscle of self-discipline will only grow stronger.