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FROM MISFORTUNE TO MIRACLE

On New Year’s Eve, Margie and I had the pleasure of meeting some friends out. Normally, I am all about staying home, but we decided to go out as it was close to our home and plenty of our friends would be there. While there, I asked everyone a question we talked about a few posts ago. That question was, “What in the last year are you most grateful for?” It is a new tradition I have been wanting to start. Coupling the act of making resolutions for self-improvement with gratitude for many of the good things that have already happened.

One of the first people I asked was a friend of ours that is due to be married in 2027. As expected when asked what he was most grateful for in the past year, he pointed to his bride to be. That would have been a touching story in its own right, but when he added why, it drove home a point that we often discuss on this site. The gentleman had worked in law enforcement and was shot. Soon as he was healing from that, he had a rupture in his intestines. This landed him in the hospital for quite some time. As you can imagine, one happening right after the other was hard to take. His lady made sure to be by his side every day. In addition to working full-time, and taking care of the house and looking after his dog, she stayed with him at the hospital often foregoing sleep.

As terrible as this situation was, it proved to him that this lady’s love was true and strong. Something that could only have been displayed in such trying times. When someone tells you that they will love you through anything, that is wonderful to hear. When they show you that they will, that is something different entirely. Nobody wants to have tragedy thrust upon them. Certainly, nobody want to be in the hospital for a long period of time. It is through situations like this, we are shown the true depths of others love for us. That is something to be grateful for.

When reflecting on what we are most grateful for, it can seem contrary to think of our hardships, but as you can see, they often bring the greatest blessings. I heard a saying that many people never open their greatest gifts because they do not like the wrapping paper. In this case, discovering that someone’s love for you is deep and true was wrapped in medical emergency that included lots of pain and a long time of healing. Discovering a gift in that is a skill and an art that many of us could stand to develop more of. When thinking about what we are most grateful for in our life, maybe we should ponder our challenges as well as our triumphs.

WISHING YOU A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR

It is the first day of the year! 2026 is upon us. Let us start the year with intention. Everyone says “have a healthy and happy new year. ” What do we plan that puts us on the path to doing so?

This day, let us take a few moments to think of what we can do this year to add to our health and our happiness. It does not have to be a grand gesture. In fact, it is better to have something that you can do consistently. A small act that that can add just that little bit of joy, or a little bit of health.

What could these things be? It could be a walk after dinner. It could be taking 5 minutes a day to pause and reflect on what you are grateful for. We will take a closer look at that in the coming posts. What little thing do you feel you could consistently do to add health and joy to your life? Feel free to leave it in the comments below.

A NEW, NEW YEAR’S EVE TRADITION ✨️

Here we are sitting at the end of another year! We all made it through. That itself is an accomplishment! There are many ways in which people celebrate this occasion. Many people go out drinking. Not sure i see the benefit of starting the year with a hangover. To each their own i suppose. Another tradition is creating resolutions. This is better, but self-improvement should be a year-round process.

This year I’m going to start a new tradition. Quite simple. Before the clock strikes midnight, take a few minutes to sit down and record the 3 best blessings that happened to you in the last 12 months and what they brought into your life. You could even purchase a nice journal to do this in every year.

Ending the year with a grateful heart does more for your life than a hangover. Do both is that is your thing. Just be smart and safe about it. You could add things to your journal if you like. Maybe 3 blessings you are looking forward to coming in the new year. Either way, this would make a fun transition from old to new. Tell me what you think!

THE TRUTH ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE WITH LIFE

My upcoming fourth book will revolve around the concept of falling back in love with your life. To that end, I have been spending a good deal of time thinking about just such a topic. What does falling in love with life look like, feel like and more to the point, how can we accomplish it? Falling in love with life sounds like a complex, New-age sort of goal. It really is neither. Falling in love with life is much like falling in love with a person. It is in considering this, we can answer all of the questions we asked earlier.

When you first fall in love with someone, how does it feel? Like you are walking on clouds. Nothing they do really bothers you… that much anyway. As time goes on, you have your little disagreements. Maybe even a few big ones too. Without realizing it, the hurts and disappointments mount. Not only in your partner, but in yourself as well. Asking yourself why you said or did that stupid thing that hurt your partner. Soon, little things that you didn’t even notice tend you drive you crazy. The more this happens, the more crazy you get. It can be like a snowball rolling downhill.

If this is true, and we all know it is, how does any relationship last? Even more to the point, how do some maintain that love and even grow? It would seem impossible looking at the facts we explored above. The truth is hard for many to take, and too hard for some to do. The truth is falling in love is work. No matter how amazing your partner is, and believe me I have the best, it takes work. Those disappointments must be balanced with moments of care and compassion. We must work on controlling our emotions and proper and healthy communication. We must not only accept our mistakes in learning, but those of our partner. In striving to be better, we will slip on occasion. Growth is never linear. In addition to acceptance, we must learn from them. Every painful lesson has in it the seed of greater understanding and growth.

How do you know if you are succeeding and growing? Do you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over? Are your disagreements more frequent? Then you have some work to do. This work takes years and involves much pain and uncomfortable moments. Why would anyone go through that? The reward is worth far more than the struggle. Being with someone who can not only still make you feel like you are walking on clouds, but has the knowledge of your past hurts and mistakes and still loves you is on another level. Learning and developing yourself is a process that positively affects everything in your life, including your relationship. Look at the photos of my lady and I above. They are 5 years apart and the love has only grown.

Falling in love with life is much the same as falling in love with another person. At first, when we are children every bit of life is a miracle. As we get older, more challenges arise. The hurts we experience tend to mount up. Life can end up seeming like a chore or a job. How can we maintain our love of life, like we do in our relationship? By using the same tools. Yes, there will be the same challenges. We will have moments of doubt. There will be lessons that are uncomfortable to learn. We will have to confront and fix things about ourself that we may not like to. We must work hard to change our mindset. Changing our focus from what is wrong to what is right. That does not mean denying some things need work. No, it means seeing those things as opportunities instead of challenges or failures. It also means spending time focusing on the miracles of life. All of the blessings we take for granted.

Reading this, it may sound like a new-age nonsense advice column, but it is the truth. Feeling like life is a miracle and everyday is an opportunity verses like life is a battle or a job makes all of the difference. Which one do you currently feel? What could you do to change that perception? Falling back in love with your life takes a lot of work, but the payoff is worth far more. The more effort you put in, the greater the return. You only get one life, why not work to enjoy it to the fullest?

WISDOM IS NOT BY CHANCE.

I like this quote. It is as simple as it is profound. A lot of us are beginning to think of what we would like to improve about ourselves in the coming year. Without a good plan of action, many of the goals are merely wishes. You could replace ‘wisdom’ with whatever word you are looking to develop. It could be ‘health’ ‘compassion’ or any other quality worth developing in the new year.

Self-improvement always sounds like a good idea when you are sitting at home on a nice sunny day. “Sure, I will eat better, exercise and improve my mind in the coming year.” You say to yourself as you sit in your sunny kitchen sipping your morning coffee. What happens when you have had a tough day at work, you have to drive home in a winter storm only to discover that your spouse is upset because you came home late. Are you still going to think about how to constructively communicate all of the challenges you faced during the day and why they made you late? It would be a lot easier to snap and feel justified doing so.

What few realize is that self-improvement is not a glamorous road filled with sunshine and rainbows. It is often a gritty, painful transition to a better version of yourself. This includes admitting your wrong, confronting your inner demons and putting in lots of effort often filled with mistakes. It takes a strong belief in who you will become through this effort and a resilience to see it through. This is not easy. It can often leave you in a world of doubt and fear. You doubt if you made the right decision to embark on this journey. You doubt if you have the strength to see it through. You are afraid that you do not.

What eventually happens is that you discover strength that you never knew you had. You learn skills and fortitude that you never knew were inside you. Eventually you become a person far better than you ever thought was possible. The best part? You can use your journey to credibly mentor and help others on their journey. Self-improvement, like wisdom and life in general, is nothing that happens by chance. We must make a commitment and be resolute in our actions. The result is a life, and a person we can be proud of.

GIVE IT UP IN THE NEW YEAR!

With the New Year almost upon us, many are contemplating what resolutions to endeavor on. Personally, this should happen more than once a year, but for many self-improvement is not something that they think about until the end of the year. When people do think of New Year’s resolutions, many think in terms of what they can add to their lives. Is it a new workout routine? Is it a healthier diet? Is it being kinder and more understanding?

All of those are great ambitions, but they all come with a prerequisite. In order for us to add a new routine to our life, or a new constructive habit, we must be willing to give up the habits and mindset that has prevented us from engaging in this behavior in the first place. To use an analogy, it is like trying to sail your boat with the anchor sitting on the ocean floor. As powerful as the wind may be, you will only get so far unless you take in the anchor. Same with trying to engage in new habits. You will only get so far unless you give up the things that hold you down and hold you back.

To give a better example, let us look at the examples we stated earlier in this post. You want to start a new exercise routine. You will have to give up all of the excuses that you use to prevent you from working out. “I don’t have time.” “I am too tired.” or whatever they may be. You want to have a healthier diet? That’s great but unless you give up the Pop Tarts and Mountain Dew, you will be like that boat trying to sail with the anchor down. You want to be kinder and more compassionate? You must give up the office gossip and the temptation to talk poor about others behind their back.

When you are looking to develop a new healthy habit, ask yourself what negative habits that you have to give up in order to give yourself a much better chance of success. In addition, you will see results a lot quicker if you both give up the negative and add the positive.

THE PAIN IS NOTHING COMPARED TO JOY 😊

Ah good ol’ Charlie Dickens! He has a good one here. Especially during the holidays. We see and connect with people we may otherwise not. In what seems like a flash, the holidays are over and everyone is lost in their life obligations. It is a bittersweet affair.

What Charlie reminds us of, is that reconnecting can be a joy that makes the  pain of parting a little bit easier to take. This is something I go through every morning. Leaving my hot lady and warm bed at 4am is quite a struggle. Soon, I hope to be a best-selling author and not have to deal with this. For the time being, leaving is required to pay the bills.

It seems the more fun we have, the harder it is to leave. Instead of focusing on how much I would love to stay home, I focus on how excited I am to return. In about a month we will be traveling to sunny Jamaica. I’m sure we won’t want to leave as we always make new friends and have a lot of fun. We must look forward to our next visit. Whenever that may be.

In your life, there will be parting that breaks the heart. Instead focus on the excitement of the next reunion. It will make life that much sweeter!

PICK A DAY

Now that the holidays are over for many of us, it is vital we pick a day to relax. We have spent days and sometimes longer, shopping, cooking, cleaning and generally stressing out. Add to that our normal work and household obligations.

Now it is time to sit back and relax. Cooking is probably not necessary with all of the leftovers we have. Plenty to ponder and be grateful for. There are, of course, the gifts we received. There is also time we had with family and friends, or maybe that our family and friends have finally left. Not sure where you stand on that one. Either way, plenty to be grateful for!

The stress we go through during the holidays can drain our body, our mind and our spirit. This can put us in a dangerous position when it comes to our immune system. Have you ever noticed the ‘flu season’ seems to come right after the holidays? Take some time to take care of yourself before your body forces you to. We all deserve health and happiness going into the new year.

2 GREAT LAST MINUTE GIFTS

Merry Christmas to those of you who are celebrating. No matter what holiday or celebration you are going to, there are always situations that can catch you off guard. Maybe someone you did not expect to be there shows up and you find yourself without a gift for them. Perhaps you thought everyone agreed to not exchanging gifts only to discover you misunderstood.

These situations can leave you a little embarrassed. Let’s face it, on Christmas day the gift options are limited. There are, however, 2 gift options that are perfect for anyone whether they were on your list or not. These gifts are not only guaranteed to be a success, they are so rare and priceless, they will be enjoyed by anyone you give them to.

These two gifts are being present and genuine gratitude and appreciation. Before you roll your eyes at the notion, give it some thought. How many times can you look around a restaurant and see a couple out to dinner with both of their faces buried in their phones? In a “look at me” world, how many people stop to tell you, “Do you know what i really appreciate about you?” How many times has someone genuinely told you what they are grateful for in their lives?

If you put your heart and soul into these two gifts, you will be the life of the party and make everyone’s holidays bright!

PLANTING TREES AND THE MEANING OF LIFE

One of my favorite things I have ever written (see my book Living the Dream) and also my favorite YouTube video I have done (search Neil Panosian on YouTube) is writing your own eulogy. The reason why is that it offers an amazing solution to many of the things we struggle with in our life. That can include direction and clarity. There are countless books read and billions of dollars spent on finding our life’s purpose and on the best way to live our life.

The irony is that it really is not that complicated. One of the quickest and easiest ways to answer these questions is to write our eulogy. When we ponder what we would like our life to be remembered for, we know whether the actions we are currently taking are moving us in that direction or not. We also know what to do and what not to do that will have us living a life we want to be remembered for. Like planting a tree we will never sit under. Taking actions that will have a positive effect on future generations is what not only gives our life purpose, it is what creates a great legacy.

Recently, more value to this writing your own eulogy has been brought to my attention. That is thinking of specific areas of your life and certain people. Think of people that you consider important in your life. What would you like them to say at your funeral? Even though you will not be there to hear it, the point is that it will be what they remember you for. This will not be the same for everyone, obviously. What it does provide is direction on how we should treat and act with each person individually. When I think about my love, Margie, I think of one set of actions. When I think of my friend Nick, the actions are obviously different. However, each ‘eulogy’ would give us the proper actions we should take.

In what is a somewhat less personal aspect, think of other areas of your life. How would you like to be remembered at work? Someone who always complains or someone who always encourages others? Either way, you know the actions to take. How about in your community? Do you want to be remembered at all? If so, make sure to get involved. It could be as the helpful neighbor. You could get involved in community groups or neighborhood clean ups. To, of course, how you want to be remembered as a person. This may seem vague, but it should not be. It is how you act and treat people on a daily basis. How are you to retail employees? How are you when you talk on the phone to people? How do treat strangers and people who can do nothing for you? These people may not give a eulogy at your funeral, but their memories will be there just the same.

As you can see, writing a eulogy can offer a lot to your life while you are living. It can offer direction and clarity. This is true with not only your life in general, but specific people and situations as well. When your life seems turned upside down and you are not sure what direction to go, I suggest doing two things. First, list everything you are grateful for. This will give you a better mindset and help you see that you still have a lot going for you. The second is to write your eulogy and think about what you would want people to say about you. Is that currently where you are? If not, what actions do you need to take to correct that? The answers will reveal themselves and you will know where to go from there.