Really? You are going to tell us there is even a third way to effortlessly have motivation handed to us on a silver platter? You bet I am! So we have a calendar daily, we check our email daily. What is one other thing we do on a daily basis? Ok, before you get to far off the subject or share things with me I do not want to know, let me just give you the answer I am looking for. Check our phones. A majority of the people reading this blog have smart phones. I am even told some of you read this blog on your smart phone. Besides complimenting you are your great choices let me tell you that you are knocking on the door to even more inspiration that you know. In addition to the amazing and sometimes even entertaining secret2anamazinglife.com website you are now reading there are lots of other great things you can receive on your phone. I find it funny a great deal of you probably have the game angry birds on your phone, but no inspirational apps. Yes, such a thing really does exist. Imagine waking up to a beautiful quote and picture first thing in the morning? Would that change your outlook on the day? Would it make the morning commute a little easier to take? It would certainly plant the seed of something great to think about as the boss is yelling at you in the middle of the day. Just don’t let him catch you looking at it or the situation could become very un inspirational. The point here is this, there are lots of apps one can find simply by checking out your phone’s browser. Some I found looking right now are ‘inspirational picture quotes’, ‘inspirational quotes to live by’ and ‘inspirational bible verses’. Now do understand I do not endorse any specific one of these. They just happen to be the first three that came up when I typed in the word inspiration into my app browser on my phone. just another tool that can feed you motivation with little or no effort on your part. For those of you without a smart phone, do not fear, the former two posts will provide you some good alternatives. So one time a day put down the angry bird and pick up some inspiration.
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KEEP MOTIVATED…DAILY! PART TWO
yesterday we looked at daily calendars and how they offer a simple, yet powerful way to expand our minds and get closer to our goals. today we are going to look at yet another amazing avenue of simple and effortless motivation…the internet. now this next statement may shock some of you, so if you are reading this while standing up you may wish to take a look for the nearest place to sit down. What is this shocking news? There is a lot of bad stuff on the internet. ok, so maybe that wasn’t so shocking for most of us. I hear daily, mostly from an older crowd, but not entirely, how there is nothing but bad things to be found on the internet. The internet, like books, television or any other medium is neither good or bad. it all resides in how we use it. For all the adult entertainment, scams, online shopping sites we can spend our time and money on, there are also a lot of amazing things to be found online as well. Charity sites. No matter what your passion is, animal rights? rights for the physically or mentally challenged? They all have sights on the internet. In addition to charity sites there are lots of sites that offer daily motivation to their subscribers. More often than not a lot of these are free of charge. Some will send an email to your inbox with an inspiring quote, some an inspiring thought. One of my favorites is Metal Motivation it may be a bit hardcore for some, but I enjoy the ‘daily screams’ or calls to action given there daily. it helps a person like myself who can find themselves a bit unmotivated at times. The point being here that the internet is one tool we can use to add motivation to our lives daily. You are going to check your email anyway, why not have a few inspirational/motivation emails thrown in there? Remember the secret to staying focused and motivated is to make it as automatic as possible.
KEEP MOTIVATED…DAILY! PART ONE
To paraphrase the late Zig Ziglar motivation expert and author, Motivation doesn’t last, neither does bathing that is why we must do it daily. So how to capture this? How can we work in motivation every single day with limited or no effort on our part? How can there be a reminder every single day to seed our mind to greatness and expand our compassion and our drive for success. The answer can be found on your wall, or on your desk, or on that table by the television. It is a great tool that is often overlooked. The day by day calendar. Whoever started this great idea was on to something. it is getting to be that time of year where calendar stores start popping up at your local mall. I strongly suggest paying a visit to one. For roughly the price of one dinner out you can be treated to daily motivation right in your home! They have calendars for all different angles. Trying to become more driven? They have calendars for people who are starting their own business. looking to create more peace and tranquility in your life? Try a zen calendar. The one I am currently using is ‘insight from the Dalai lama’ he is a man I greatly respect and his words give me a lot to think about as I go through my life. All I do to accomplish this is tear off a little piece of paper as I grab my daily cup of coffee. Think of whatever goal you are aspiring to, now imagine 365 powerful thoughts towards its creation. All of them already written and waiting for you with no effort on your behalf. how much closer to accomplishing your goal, whether it will be to be more relaxed, prosperous or enlightened if you could focus on it in a different manner 365 ways in a year. a great thing about these calendars you can tear off the sheet, which is roughly 4 inches by 4 inches and take it with you. fold it up and put it in your pocket/wallet/purse whatever. Then you can take it out and think about it several times a day. My aunt who either has far more ambition, time or both than myself even saved a few of her favorites and made a scrap-book of them. Thus, they can keep inspiring her for years to come. Now if I could only find that calendar with beautiful beaches, lovely island girls and motivational quotes I would be set. Seriously, stop by your local calendar store and take a look around, see what may work for you. Also there are nice little desk calendars and even wall calendars that can provide you with inspirational thoughts weekly or monthly. They are great for developing mantras and building on a single idea for a prolonged period of time. Recently my amazing friend Crystal gave me one and I love it! Not only do I enjoy the inspirational quotes, but I am always reminded of, and grateful for the amazing friend I have in her. So they also make wonderful gifts to inspire others.
WORK YOUR PASSION!
When I talk to people about living their passion a lot of them assume I am telling them to do it for a living. While it is true you can really make a career out of anything that is not what I am suggesting entirely. Though if you do happen to find yourself seeking a way to make a living your passion may not be a bad place to start. So you have discovered your passion. Either through the exercises we discussed yesterday or if you happen to be lucky like me you fall into it during a glass of Captain Morgan and a conversation with two beautiful and amazing friends. Either way, what now? here is my suggestion. Think of how you would most like to involve this passion in your life. Let us take the model train example. perhaps your goal is to have a large model train display you can work on in your spare time. write that down as your ultimate goal, now begin to work backwards. What would you need to do/have to make that happen. If your mind immediately goes to “a lot of money I do not have” you are not thinking positively on your passion. In this case, being that I know very little about model trains I will try to make my best guess. You would need large pieces of wood to set the tracks and buildings on. You would need the trains. How many? You would want buildings. What kind? Crossings? Develop a plan. make a list of all the things you would want and need. now perhaps a couple of hours a week you can work on slowly putting this together. Go window shopping at the hobby store to get ideas, make a list and draw a sketch of how you would like it to look. Say you would like to turn this into a career. you could write a book about your adventures in setting up your display or put together an online video series on how to set up model trains.
let me tell you a more personal example. When my two friends helped me realize that my passion was bringing joy to others and helping them see the beauty in themselves it became an obsession. Especially keeping in mind the words Alysa said about “To bad there are not more people like you” for a brief second I contemplated cloning until I realized I knew little or nothing about the science that goes into that. not to mention we might run into identity theft problems. Seriously though in short order I realized the obvious short-coming in my passion. If you did not come into my post office or bar, or I did not come to you how could I bring you joy? How could I assist you in discovering and appreciating the beauty that is inside of you. How could I help someone in Brazil as well as helping someone in Greenland? Then the idea of starting this blog came to me. You know you are living your passion when pieces fall into place. Shortly after making this decision I reconnected with another amazing friend Kristina. Not only did she know quite a bit about blogs she encouraged me to write a book as well. Since then there has been ideas for audio cd’s as well as online video series. Although I must confess I think my appearance lends itself better to the audio. The point here is I have never been more excited to wake up than I am now. I still work at the post office and the bar, but adding this passion to my life has added more joy, energy and enthusiasm to my life than I can hope for. So write down your goal and begin to work backwards. Work all the way back until you can start thinking of steps you can take today, right now to put you on the road to living your passion. Then take one! As my mentor Tony Robbins says, “never leave the sight of a goal without at least taking one action towards its fulfillment” Not only will it jumpstart your passion it will give you momentum! Have a great weekend and we will see you on Monday!
FIND YOUR PASSION!
In past blogs I have discussed the importance of finding your passion and what a difference that will make in your life. I will discuss that very difference and how to accomplish it in tomorrow’s post, but for today let’s get started with step one. What exactly is your passion. If you were to ask most people what their passion is very few would even know. Fewer still are probably doing anything about it. Involving some kind of passion in our lives can add all sorts of wonderful things. joy quite simply of doing something you love. model trains? Airplanes? The study of quantum physics? Astrology? Everyone has a passion and should incorporate it into their lives. it also gives us something to look forward to during the work day, just try to stay focused or the boss may be displeased. It can supply us ideas for vacations. Extra income opportunities or places to spend our pocket-money that would bring us the most joy.
So the question still remains, how on earth do you discover your passion if you do not know what it is? Once you discover it how do you become passionate about it again. Then once you do, what then? The last part we will address in tomorrow’s post. To answer the first part let me tell you some ideas I heard in an interview with Peter Diamandis, author of the great book Abundance the Future is Better Than you Think Mr. Diamandis suggests thinking of what we enjoyed as a child. What did we love to do before we were convinced we couldn’t? Make a list of all of these. Did you want to be a race car driver? A fireman? President? list as many as you can. Now, the second one is more what I used, but if you combine them the results are even better. Think if someone gave you a billion dollars and said “change the world in any way you would like” what would you do with it? write down as many answers as you can for this one too. you should be able to see a pattern developing. Do all of your ideas involve adventure? Animals? helping people? Now you should be able to pick out a rough idea of your passion. write that down. Now how to feed that passion that we are so inspired we take action. Not just today, but consistently day after day. here is the way to do that. Begin to list why that certain thing excites you. Why is helping people something you are passionate about for example? This was brought to my attention by two amazing friends of mine Carmen and Alysa. I had begun trying to decipher my passion and my purpose in life. Reaching no life-altering revelations I decided to enjoy the benefits of a distilled beverage made from sugar cane, rum if you will. I went down to see my friend Alyssa where she works because not only do they have rum there, but Alysa’s smile can brighten your day so much you may be inspired. As luck would have it my amazing friend Carmen was there as well. The three of us struck up a conversation and Carmen mentioned she always felt happy when we got together. Alysa agreed and mentioned she wish there were more people like me. Let me tell you I was extremely flattered to be spoken so highly of by two amazing, not to mention beautiful women that it got me to thinking that I really did enjoy making people smile. Couple that with the experience I had at the meal program I mentioned in yesterday’s post. I decided that was my passion. Now what could I do with it. That we will discuss tomorrow. So play the fun game mentioned in today’s post. Use the tricks brought to us by Peter Diamandis. Discover that passion and get your desire for it red-hot. We’ll discuss what to do with that burning passion tomorrow!
IS HAPPINESS HARDER TO FIND???
“If you want other to be happy, practice compassion. if YOU want to be happy, practice compassion”
-The Dalai Lama
Here are some interesting facts I pulled out of this months Success Magazine according to a May report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention here are some interesting facts for the years 1999-2010
Suicide in adults age 35-64 rose 28.4%
it rose 48.6% for men in their 50’s
it also rose 59.7% for women age 60-64
So what solution does this article recommend for this issue? Altruism, or simply put, helping others. I know to a lot of you this may sound “new age-ish” but let me assure you it is not. Shawn Achor, author of the book Before Happiness and author of the article cites recent positive psychology research. I am going to cite not so recent Neil past events. There was a time a few years back my life was a mess, my job at the post office was in limbo at best, my relationship had ended and I just seemed more depressed every day. Now of course this is before I started researching and applying lots of the knowledge on display here and in my new book. Back to that time however, I didn’t know which way to go. My friends and family had grown tired of listening to my “woe is me” attitude and quite frankly, so did I. So seeing the post office didn’t care to use my talents I decided to head down to the meal program I helped at once a month. It was not the day that I normally helped, but figured they could always use an extra hand. That simple decision impacted my life dramatically. First, it put in prospective my problems. I still had a job, albeit barely. I was healthy. I had a roof over my head. the people we served that day could only make claim to a few of those, some not even one. Not only that, their expressions of gratitude and genuine wishes of goodwill for me were overwhelming. By the end of the day not only had I pretty much forgotten about my problems I was feeling grateful and even happy. Seeing that you can make someone else smile has a profound effect. Looking back that may have been the beginning of my passion to serve and help others. Which was later brought to the forefront by my amazing friends Carmen and Alyssa. (More on them tomorrow.) The great thing about helping others is it really is one situation in life that is win/win. When you bring joy or just simply a smile to the heart of another person they obviously feel good, but seeing that reaction and knowing you played a part in it brings a joy like nothing I have ever experienced. you do not have to help at a meal program or a shelter to have this effect. Notice people who do not normally receive a lot of compliments. try giving them a sincere and kind word or maybe even just a smile and hello. When, at Christmas time, the post office becomes the personification of chaos I cannot begin to tell you how much the words “Thank you for your hard work during the holiday season” mean. Not to mention all the homemade cookies and candy! So perhaps a kind word to a busy cashier, or an extra tip for a busy waitress this weekend. You may not stay to see the results, but knowing you had a positive effect on a person’s day can make your day as well. So go ahead and be kind for selfish reasons. If we all were this world would be an amazing place!
A FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTION…
This is by far the question I am asked the most often in regards to both this blog and my upcoming book. “How can I remain happy when my loved one passed away/I was diagnosed with a serious illness/I was just fired” you name it. In fact, the day after I started this blog a woman who had all of those and them some asked me that very question. Now, at the time I was a bit overwhelmed by the screaming in her tone to answer. Even though her delivery was debatable, her question is a very valid one. Judging by how many times I am asked that question in one form or another first let me assure you that you are not alone. Everyone in life faces struggles. When it comes to death of a loved one, or serious and terminal illness, often a very serious struggle. So what them Mr. Smiley? What do we do then? In short – you cry. What kind of advice is that coming from a blog like this? An honest one. Let me start by again stating the goal of this blog, and of life in general is not to be happy one hundred percent of the time. Not only is this unrealistic, it also sets us up for feelings of failure. The idea behind self improvements is to make the good parts of life more intense and frequent and the trying times less frequent and less intense.
Look sometimes life gives us a little more than we can handle. Whether it be at work when you feel so overwhelmed being unemployed and homeless seems like a less stressful plan, or something more serious happens to bring us down, you have a right to feel sad. Pain is one of the most powerful tools of change and growth IF it is looked at in just such a light. A perfect example of this was given to me by a friend I know from the bar I work at, Tina. Recently she had a family member pass away. this is never an enjoyable experience for anyone. Listening to Tina’s story about the event I was struck by just what an empowered and inspirational view this woman took. Yes, she cried. When we lose someone we care about it is expected we should feel sad. Yet, she remarked how amazing it was to learn not only about the woman who has passed on, but about the rest of her family as well. She heard exciting stories from the past and learned things about her family she had not known. She told me there was as much celebration of life, if not more, than morning of loss. It gave her pride in not only the way she dealt with her grief, but the way her family did as well. I really got the feeling listening to her that is drew her family closer as well. it also inspired her to take a long hard look at her own spiritual beliefs. Again, sometimes pain is the best catalyst to growth. If given the choice I am sure Tina would have chosen not to go through that event. She understood all to well the realities of life. Sadness and grief should be given their respect and time. They can cause us to look inside, to grow and to reflect. If you have taken the steps to add joy to your life, when darkness does come, you will be better prepared to focus on and find the light at the end.
THE COMMON THREAD PART TWO…
Yesterday we looked at the things negative people have in common. I did that for a couple of reasons. One to show that positive or negative is not a result of bad genes, or luck or destiny. What those are is excuses. Whether your life has more joy or sorrow is a matter of decisions. it is a matter of small choices we make daily. If you are not satisfied with the amount of joy that appears in your life it is time to stop looking at outside circumstances to blame and start looking at the decisions you make. So what decisions should you make? That is a great question.
Here is the first big decision you must make. It encompasses several areas we will look at in greater detail in just a moment. That decision is what to focus on. If you are deciding on trying to add more joy to your life you have already made a positive decision on what to focus on, what brings joy into your life. This sounds like a no brainer until you are asked by some innocent bystander or an inquisitive blog writer at the post office. How long would it take you to rattle off 5 things that bring bliss into your life? If you can right off the top of your head you are in better shape than most. now let us take a look at those five things. Do any of them contain things you wish were not in your life-like our example of our negative lady yesterday? If you said “it would make me happy if I didn’t have to go to work” or “drive through rush hour traffic” you are missing the point here. you are focusing on what your life is lacking. Everybody’s life is lacking in some areas and abundant in others. The trick is here that positive people focus on what they have. My friend George, the insurance man I have mentioned in here before was one of the first ‘happy people’ I asked for his secret to maintaining joy. Without a second of contemplation he answered “I count my blessings I suppose” in other words George focuses on what he has in his life. I am sure George would rather be retired and drink coffee while talking town history with the locals, but he does not focus on that. he focuses on the fact that he has a job where he does get to meet people and help a good deal of them. Now I imagine in the insurance business as with any business dealing with the public there are a few challenging customers, but I have never heard him focus on that either. Just mention that he enjoys meeting so many wonderful people.
Another secret positive people use, and one I use frequently myself is to focus on the goal you are striving for verses everything that stands in its way. If for example your goal is to get to and maintain a healthy weight, do not focus on what you way now, or how many times you must work out, the food you must give up. These are all thoughts that will discourage you and bring unhappiness and failure. Instead think about all the pluses you will have. More energy, more vitality. You will be able to wear different outfits, do more things. It is like the issue of quitting smoking. How many people tell you they are going to “Quit smoking” they are already focused on what they have to give up just by the mere title of it. Plus, quitting is generally not used in good terms. Few people say “I am working to become smoke free” that is focusing on what you have to gain. A more pleasant smell, more stamina, more energy, longer and healthier life.
I believe it was Earl nightingale who gave us this definition of success “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal” what this means is as soon as you decide on a worthwhile goal and begin to pursue it you are a success. Even if you haven’t achieved it yet, even if there are bumps along the way and you may take a step back or stumble. if you keep pushing towards that goal you, my friend are a success.
So there are the two most common traits of happy people. They have a feeling of gratitude while focusing on all the good they have in their lives. As well as focusing on the goal they are striving for and all the good that will come with it instead of where they are now and all the obstacles they will have to go through. So I hope you have developed a plan for this weekend. Begin to appreciate all the good in your life that you have to enjoy and stop focusing on what your life lacks. Have a little money? it’s better than none! Pick a ‘worthy ideal’ to strive for, imagine all the benefits achieving it will bring you. Stoking your ‘why’ enough to get you excited. Ask the people in your life what makes them happy. Take away what you can and develop some of your own secrets. Have an excellent weekend my friends!
THE COMMON THREAD..PART ONE
In yesterday’s post I told you that most happy people I have interviewed both at the bar, the post office, Starbucks…really any place you can find me on a regular basis, had many things in common. Well, one line at the end of that post is what we are going to discuss today. I also told you that the unhappy people I ‘interviewed’ had a common thread as well. I will give you an example. There is a lady I have worked with the last 15 plus years at the post office. She is one of those people who are determined to remain unhappy. I think she is so unhappy she doesn’t even realize it herself. I’m sure nobody else knows anyone like this, but in the off-chance you do let us proceed shall we? When I decided I would ask negative people what made them happy she was the first person that came to mind. For the fist time in countless years I was excited to have a conversation with her. So I asked her, “What makes you happy?” her answer, though not terribly surprising, was enlightening. she said “It will make me happy when I know longer have to work here” Now we have all had days that we certainly would rather be somewhere else than our jobs. Why I know I felt that way…ummm…yesterday I believe. The point here was the question was not “What would make you happy, or what makes you unhappy” In answering what made her happy she inferred the removal of something that makes her unhappy. In this case, her job. So that is point one. Unhappy people, or even happy people who are feeling less than happy are focusing on an issue that makes them unhappy. Now, we all have to tackle tough issues in our life. Focusing your emotion, time and energy on them only makes them seem larger and destroys your happiness. At the bare minimum just figure “this sucks, let’s tackle it” The other answer she gave, which was also not a huge surprise was the following “I’ll be happy when I have enough money that I don’t have to come here anymore” This point is really easy. You want to be unhappy, focus on what you are lacking. not only does it make you feel unhappy, but it gives you a feeling of loss of control, rejection, poverty and lots of other fun emotions. The sad part here is a lot of the other unhappy people I asked shared the same answer. There was one more interesting thread that did not show up in all of the unhappy people, but enough that it is worth noting. a lot of them gave me a simple three word answer “I don’t know”. The sad point here is if you never took the time to figure out what makes you happy, how on earth can you hope to be happy? By chance? There is also a chance a bar of gold might fall out of the sky and land at my feet and make me rich. Not likely though. Which is why a lot of unhappy people feel they have no control over their own lives. They ‘wake up in neutral’ as I like to say. Waiting for the world to tell them if they should be happy or not. I hope you all are sitting down when I tell you this. If you wait for the world to tell you to be happy, or decide what mood you should be in, you are going to be unhappy a very long time. So my suggestion here, review the common traits of unhappy people, check your own life for where these may pop up. Tomorrow we will look at the answers the happy people gave.
USE YOUR RESOURCES
A funny thing happened to me the other day. Ok, funny things happen to me most days. Especially Friday because it involves my good friend Margie and rum. This was not one of those moments. You see, I am always looking for ways to improve this blog, and listening to ideas. Quite often you will see them make the pages of this website. While typing the post ‘Picking your posse’ last week an idea just popped in my head. Usually that is to hit the snooze one more time or have one more slice of pizza, but this was neither of these so I thought I should listen. I remarked in that post how my friends have changed and how I discovered I had naturally gravitated to a more positive and inspiring group of people. Why was I not using this precious resource? A lot of what you read here comes from the minds of great people in history. Lincoln, Martin Luther King jr, Tony Robbins, my own mother. Still here was this group of genuinely inspiring and optimistic people. Why have I not been picking their brains? So I started. I asked George, the insurance sales man his secret to happiness. Truly the world of insurance can’t be all sunshine and rainbows. I also asked Jim, who sells fireplace blowers. I began to ask all of my customers at both the post office and the bar what was the secret to their happiness. The answers varied, but there were some common traits as well. Then, proving that all people in our life are gifts I began to ask those less than inspiring characters I encountered the same question. Oddly enough, there was patterns there as well. Over the next couple of days we will explore both. For today, however, I encourage you to do the same. Find someone who has a genuinely sunny disposition and ask them their secret. I will let you in on a clue. Happy people tend to be eager to share what makes them so. You may even wish to do the same with those who genuinely seem unhappy. If nothing else you may get their minds pondering the joy in their life. See if you notice any patterns. Feel free to let me know. Oh, and if you see me on the street and have any ideas on how to make this blog better, feel free to do that do.
