Category: Uncategorized

THE GREATEST ENEMY IS ALSO THE GREATEST ALLY

We begin our journey of inspiring quotes with one from the Bhagavad Gita, a 700 verse Hindu  scripture. This quote could not be more true in modern times. How and what we think about determines how we feel. Most of us live in a state of reaction. That is we decide how we feel based on what outside circumstances seem to be happening to us. Through either ignorance or lack of effort very few of us take control of our minds. This mistake can be fatal.

When we have control of our minds, we have control of our lives. Outside circumstances no longer decide how we feel about life, we do. This can start the very next second. Make a statement to yourself as to what kind of life you are deciding to live. You might want to write it down as soon as you are able. This gives us clarity of purpose and we begin to act instead of react. We decide what happens to us instead of life.

Think of waking up in the morning. How often do you say to yourself “I am going to have an amazing day no matter what life throws at me today”? If you do congratulations you are a step ahead of most of the world. If you do not do something like this, do not worry, you have just discovered a simple thing you can do to dramatically change your life for the better.

I recommend writing your statement down because as you go through your day there very well may be challenges. Allow me to share a person story. I made the statement that 2017 was going to be an amazing year for me. I am determined that is so. In the month of January alone I have faced a few challenging situations. My car was totaled while it was parked and I was sleeping. I came in second place in the ‘Best author in Milwaukee’ competition to a man who has his own show on public television. For a while these began to chip away at my enthusiastic outlook for the coming year. Now this is important to note, this will happen. Getting control of your mind is a journey. The more you do it, the easier it will become, but make no mistake there will always be challenges.

What to do when this happens? There are several things. My first suggestion is to look for the positive. Even in my car situation, I will probably only receive a fraction of what my car is worth and still have to go through trying to purchase a new one. There is the matter of the cost of the rental car. All of these happened through no fault of my own. (As I mentioned I was inside my house sleeping when my car was hit). Still I think there may have been something that could have went wrong later on that would have cost me more? Perhaps if the man had not hit my car that was parked and empty he could have hit one with a family and children in it. This may sound naïve to some of you, but it is quite the opposite. Learning to find the light in even the darkest of situations takes the mind of a warrior and can be quite a challenge. When we are able to do so we are no longer slaves to the negative feelings that can come from personal challenges.

There is another amazing thing we can do to not only take control of our minds, but add more joy and magic in our lives. What is that? Come back tomorrow for the answer and a quote from yet another different faith.

THE COMMON THREAD

This week we are going to look at inspiration from a few different spiritual beliefs. This page is not about telling you what to believe spiritually, i believe that is between you and your creator. This page is, however,  about living an amazing life. My life’s mission is to help people see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. It is the last two this week will be focused on. 

There are always differences between people and normally that is not a big deal. This person had long hair, this person has short hair. This person is tall and that person is short.  So why when it comes to religion and politics do differences have to divide us so? This week we are going to look at various quotes from sources in several different beliefs and what we can learn from them. We ate going to end this week with something that may surprise some of you, so check back at the end of the week for that. 

For the rest of today begin to look at the common thread that ties all of us together no matter where or how we pray. 

FIND YOUR SOURCES

Ok, 2 days in a row with pictures of me? Only because these are lessons I’ve learned in my own life I’d like to pass on. I would like to begin with a quote from one of my favorite philosophers

“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon” – Edward Sanders

If you are unfamiliar with that name, let me tell you his less formal name, Winnie-the-pooh. Yes, I was a Pooh fan as a young person and have found some new and interesting wisdom in them as an adult. (I highly suggest reading “The Tao of Pooh) So what does this piece of advice from a stuffed bear have to do with the picture of me above and more importantly with living an amazing life? Sources my friends.

Here is the thing. A balloon makes me smile. Not 100% sure why, but how many people have you seen holding a balloon and not smiling? Here is the cute thing, I told the lady in my life how I felt about this and she purchased the balloon for me in the picture above. So why am I holding my book A Happy Life for Busy People? Inside there are many tips on places to find happiness in your everyday life. If you care to get a copy click the link above.

So what makes you happy? When I ask most people the first thing that comes out of their mouths is “I don’t know”. Many really have to stop and think about it. A few posts back I advocated compiling a list of things that make you happy. I am going to take that one step further and tell you two other things. Once a week, add one of those things to your life. It could be as simple as a balloon or a bunch of flowers that may not last forever, but will bring a smile to your face. Perhaps a special dessert, or time with that special someone? The second thing I am going to ask you to do is to spread this happiness by selecting one person a week and discovering what makes them happy. You can ask directly or be a little more coy about it. Then, pick up something small and simple to bring a smile to their face. I can’t tell you how much the balloon Margie brought me lifted my spirits. So do it for the one you love this week, then perhaps a coworker next week? Maybe a friend the third. showing you listen and care will mean just as much as what you bring them. Let us all spread a little joy to each other.

As always feel free to spread the word about Secret2anamazinglife.com to all of your friends as well.

GIVE UP GOOD TO GO FOR GREAT

Here is me behind the bar at the local club anything, the last place I worked as a bartender. I gave up bartending as of this past Saturday. I have been bartending off and on for 23 years now. That even sounds like a long time typing it. My grandfather and great uncle were also bartenders. The reason I started bartending was simple, I thought it looked like a cool profession and a great way to meet new people. I was right on both accounts. I took a break in 2002 to focus on my postal career.

After returning to bartending a lot of interesting things happened. I met the beautiful lady I now call my own, I met a bar owner I consider a good friend and I met a whole group of new people many of whom I consider as close as family. Bartending has brought me many financial rewards as well. The money was good, I had chances to affect people and learn about their life situations. Yes indeed, bartending has certainly brought a lot into my life.

So why leave? Why walk away from a job that I am told I am very good at, more so than any other I do? Why end doing something that brought me such personal and financial success? The reasons are simple and yet complicated.

In the case of this particular location, the people stopped showing up. Not really the way one wants to go out, but in business this happens. There was a bout of construction on the street in front of the establishment that I think ended the success we were starting to build there. My lady, who was the DJ that night, and I did everything we could to promote that night. 95% of the time we were the only ones doing so, but still it was tough at best.

More importantly, however, my heart is leading me in another direction. So even though my head would say to stick with a job that you are good at and can make a fair amount of coin at, my heart says it is time to move on. Throughout my years on this wonderful planet I have learned when your head and heart disagree it is often wise to pay attention to the latter. I often write about living your passion and that is what I am focused on doing. I am taking Monday to focus on my writing and speaking career. I am determined to make a difference in as many lives as I can in 2017. The money may not be as great, but in doing what I love I feel I can make the greatest difference in the world.

I want to take a moment to thank a few people who have made my journey in bartending special. First, Scott Bunker who gave me my first bartending opportunity. Also the 2 Jimmys, Jim Grossmeyer who was my first mentor who taught me the ABC’s of bartending and Jimmy (Pops) O’Leary who taught the spirit in bartending. Selena who talked me out of retirement for the last time. Danny Seiy who not only gave me a home for 3 years, but who also introduced me to the lady I love. Of course a heartfelt thank you to all of you who have ordered a drink from me in the last 23 years. It has been a pleasure to serve you and I look forward to seeing you at a book signing, seminar or some other event down the road.

HOW TO TAKE A LOSS

As you can see i didn’t win best author in Milwaukee. It was a tough loss, but like the quote in Rocky, “It’s not how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward”. So that’s what I’m going to do, keep moving forward. I am going to move along in my writing career. Thank all of you who voted for me. 

SOMETIMES WE NEED IT TOO 

Last post we talked about encouraging others. We hopefully came to an understanding of how important that is. I think by doing so others are also more inclined to do the same for us. Still it is very important to make the conscious effort to include encouraging people in our inner circle. Sometimes the critics will often get the best of us. It could be a demanding boss with unreal expectations. It could be a condescending parent or spouse. It could be a jealous coworker. It could even be the worst critic we all have – the inner critic -. Let me give you two examples of how important having someone who believes in you can be.

First, I want to talk about Les Brown. For those of you who do not know Les Brown he is one of my favorite motivational speakers. He has spoke to over 100,000 people in Atlanta. He has spoke to several corporations and celebrities. What does any of this have to do with us and having people believe in us? A lot. Les Brown said the hardest thing he has had to do in his life is believe he could do what he is now doing. He was born in a poor part of Miami on a floor and given up for adoption at 6 weeks old. He was adopted by a single mother who could barely support herself much less her children. In school he was labeled mentally challenged and failed 2 grades. So how did he succeed? Two very important people came into his life. A high school teacher who told him something I love – “Never let someone’s opinion of you become your reality” – think about that for a moment. Also he had a friend named Mike Williams who kept encouraging him to become a speaker. Les kept arguing the reasons he could not. He had no college education. He had never worked for a major corporation, and so on. One day Mr. Williams hung up on his friend Les. When Les called him back to inquire if they had accidentally become disconnected, Mike Williams told him indeed he had hung up on him and explained as long as he argued for his limitations he might as well keep them. After that Les thought about it and tried his hand at speaking. Today he gets paid more for one speech than most of us get paid in a year thanks to a principle he describes this way, “Sometimes you have to believe in someone’s belief in you until you can believe in yourself”.

The second example is a little closer to home. I knew a man who worked 2 jobs both in the retail and bar business. He had a genuine desire to make people happy and did just that with the jobs he had. It was then suggested to this young man that if he could perhaps write down and share his ideas on either say a blog site or in a book he could touch a lot more lives. Although the idea of helping people beyond the scope of his immediate influence really appealed to him he told himself that a simple postal worker and bartender could never write a book that would influence people in a positive fashion or that any of the online content he could come up with would interest anyone around the corner much less around the globe. Still with the belief and pushing from a few close friends that man has a book published and available on amazon called A Happy Life for Busy People and his blog is followed in over 60 countries at last count. In addition that young man met a supportive and encouraging young lady who was creative in her own right and recognized this man’s talent and continued to push and encourage him to start his own YouTube Channel and begin teaching seminars and public speaking? What happened to those two? As you read this I am attending the best of Milwaukee awards to hopefully collect the award for best Milwaukee Author for which I am nominated. I am doing so with my lovely lady who next year will assuredly take home the award for best wedding cake designer.

There is no doubt in my mind neither Les Brown or myself would not have shared any of what we had inside of us if it were not for the wonderful souls who pushed and encouraged us along the way. So make sure you include several folks who believe in the best in you and will push and encourage you to bring it out.

BE A HERO THIS WEEK

This picture pretty much sums up what this post is about, but I am including a challenge for all of us. Don’t worry, it is a fun challenge. We closed last week with a post on including things that can make us happy. This challenge will add something that will do that automatically – find as many people as you can to genuinely encourage – . Please note I said genuinely. Sometimes even the greatest of us need encouragement. Thomas Edison was failed out of school, fired from every job he had before trying his hand at inventing things. Can you imagine how many critics he had? How many people told him he was ‘stupid’ or to give up? How important do you think those people who did believe in him were?

How do you find people to encourage? They are everywhere! It doesn’t have to be someone chasing a dream, it can be someone who is doing a really good job. Perhaps you know someone who is a really caring and special friend. Letting them know this would be encouraging. Maybe you even see a talent in people that they don’t see in themselves? There are quite a few people I know who have amazing stories inside them I encourage them to share. My girlfriend brings so much joy to people with her creative creations that I always encourage her to do more. Speaking of her, She also does an amazing job keeping up our house. I can’t count the homemakers who would love to hear an encouraging thank you for all of their hard work.

So this week be on the look out for someone you can encourage. Is it someone who is struggling and needs someone to believe in them? Maybe it is someone who consistently does a great job and would love to be recognized for their efforts? Either way the chance to balance out the critics and do something truly amazing for someone lies around each and every corner.

Here is a parting thought. You never know what the world might lose if certain people do not pursue their dreams. You could be the one to give them the faith and hope to do so. The power to change the world for someone lies in the hands of all of us.

INCLUDE SOME EVERYDAY

This may seem like a no-brainer. That being said, ask yourself “How many things do I do everyday for the simple reason of making myself happy?”. There seems to be an endless list of things we need to do every day like walk the dog, go to work and clean the house. Still how many times do we take a second to do things that truly bring a little joy to our lives? A lot of people may find this to be selfish, but to all of my altruistic friends out there, remember you can serve others far better when you are coming from a good place.

Let us explore this idea of creating a list of things that make us happy. It can be things we do already, or things that we used to do. It can be things we have wanted to try, or things we forgot about. It can be simple things that only take a minute or complex things that may take a few days to enjoy. Let us take a look at a few examples to get us started.

A while back I wrote a post about mixing different flavors of soda at fast food restaurants. As a child it was something I was always told I should not do. To this day I can’t really understand the problem with it. Guess what? About 75% of the time I get a soda at a place I have the option to, I mix the flavors. I still chuckle a bit to myself each and every time I do it as well. So even if something seems rather silly, put it on your list!

Another thing I have noticed is how special things we do that bring us joy can slip in the familiar. Let me explain. A few years ago I had moved into the place I am now living. In the move I took a while to set up my fancy coffee maker. Coffee being one of my guilty pleasures. As an author I think it should be allowed as a tax deduction, but I digress. When I finally set it up I recall the lady in my life bringing me a fresh hot brewed cup of coffee first thing in the morning. If memory serves I think the clouds parted and angels started singing, but don’t quote me on that. Funny thing is, fast forward 2 years later and it is something I do as I am getting dressed and ready for work. I grab my cup and run out the door barely even realizing I made it until I take that first sip. With a moment of focus I can once again appreciate this morning ritual. Even the act of writing it down can serve to remind me how much joy I receive through a simple cup of coffee.

So take some time this Monday and create your own list of things that make you happy. Smiling at strangers? Saying good morning to your favorite coworker? Eating a fresh salad for lunch? Maybe a simple cup of coffee or mixing soda at a fast food restaurant? Write them all down and carry your list with you throughout this week. See if you can sneak in several of the items everyday.

Please feel free to share any of the items on your list and how you put them into your day in the comments below. Share this idea with a friend and both try it. That will only make it far more fun. As always, feel free to share this blog post as well.

 

YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?

Here is something that can greatly improve your relationship. It’s a singles ad. Before you assume i have completely lost my mind (a fact that remains questioned by many) please allow me to explain.

 A lady approached me earlier this week and began to regale me with all the issues she was having with her husband. She went on to list a host of things the gentleman happened to be doing wrong in her eyes. After several minutes of this not so glowing review of her gentleman suitor she asked me a very direct question “what do you think I should do?”. I was tempted to ask her if there were any transgressions she left out. Perhaps he had colored outside the lines when he was young? It had me realizing how easy it is to stack things. 

What is stacking things? When we get emotional we tend to limit our focus. When someone hurts us, especially someone close to us we tend to recall other hurtful things they may have done and begin to stack them on to of one another, which only proves to increase our discontent. 

So i told this lady a simple answer, “write a singles ad”. She informed me although she was upset with him she didn’t want to cheat it leave him. What i told her next really confused her and may do the same for you, but stay with me and I believe you will see the value in this.  

I told her not to write the ad for herself, but for him. “I don’t want him to cheat either!”. She made very clear. Aside from the fact that her assertion of him early left room for doubt, i assured her that was not what this was about. “Humor me” i urged her. “What would an ad for your husband read? What qualities make him an excellent catch?”. She went on to say he was compassionate, funny had a great smile. After about 2 minutes she began to get tears in eyes. She began to realize the man she had spent time berating might be one amazing catch. 

So that is what I’m urging all of us to do. Write a singles ad for your significant other. I wouldn’t suggest waiting for a disagreement, do it while the fabulous things they do are fresh in your mind. Taking time to write all of this down will serve to remind us what a great person we have chosen. You might want to keep it around in case there are moments that cause us to forget. 

What if you don’t have that special person? Write an ad for the exact person you would like to meet.  It will then help you get clear on what you are looking for and help engage your subconscious mind to assist you. 

Feel free to share some of the things in your ad in the comments below. 

WHY SHARING IS CARING 

I recall the phrase ‘sharing is caring’ from a children’s program I used to watch when i was young. It is a very good motto that still holds true. 

The problem with many adults is that we feel we have nothing to share. Often I hear people say “I would love to help more but i don’t have the time/money/resources”. There is one thing each and every one of us has that can make a huge difference – our story -.

As an author I am often asked for advice and told by people “I have always wanted to write a book”. My advice? Just do it! Again, it is at this point most people assume they have nothing to offer. Let me assure you that no matter what your story is, it will help more people than you know. 

Here are a few examples.  I have a friend is a Jewish woman who won her battle with weight loss and has a passion for health and fitness and took care of her sick mother. 

There is my friend Kelly, who is a widow and belongs to a community of people who have been through the same. She is always quick to share a smile and encouraging word with everyone she meets. How many people do you think these two people could help by sharing their story?

Now you may thinking to yourself “I don’t have such a compelling story”. That’s where i have to disagree. Maybe you have done everything wrong in life. Maybe you find yourself a slave to some addiction. Your story could serve as a warning and save the lives of countless others. 

Once a woman told me “All i have been is a mom for the last 10 years”. I was kind of taken aback. Being a good parent required lots of knowledge and learning along the way. 

Sometimes just sharing our story with people who are going through the same thing provides a feeling of comfort. I know when i am going through something challenging it feels so much better to know someone else has been through it or is going through it. 

So please, wherever you are share your story. Even if it doesn’t come out in book form (although publishing an ebook today is easier than ever). You never know who you will inspire, comfort or help heal. Everyone of us is important and everyone of us has a story that needs to be shared