Category: Uncategorized

HOW TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYONE

On the journey to self-improvement there are many tricky obstacles. One of the toughest is that we share the planet with people who have no intent, or desire to improve themselves. There are those who feel the need to treat others poorly. I have seem a man berate a coffee shop employee because he coffee was 5 degrees too hot. Not only was it almost impossible to tell that exactly, he could have waited a few seconds and it would have cooled down. That is enough to make someone watching that behavior upset. A more constructive approach is to let it remind us of how important our kindness and compassion to retail employees is and how much it is appreciated.

There are those who have no regard or care for their health. This is especially hard to watch if it is someone we care about. If these people persist in neglecting their health and lifestyle, it will remind us how impactful those two things have in our own life.

To me, one of the most frustrating is watching those individuals who make it their life mission to live in a world of self-created drama and terrible decisions. Lack of accountability and any actions towards improving their life can drive you crazy to watch, and certainly to listen to. What every episode can remind us of is how important working on ourselves and our life is.

All of these people can be a challenge, but they can also be a great reminder. We should be grateful when the universe shows us how important kindness, compassion and self-improvement are. These fine folks can be just what we need in our life to motivate us to take the next leap in our own development. Be grateful for the lesson they bring.

THE COST OF YOUR DISTRACTIONS

Have you ever thought of the cost of your distractions? What has that harmless scrolling really cost you? What started as a quick ‘5 minute scroll’ ended up having you hooked for hours. How about binging television shows? You think you will watch just one episode and suddenly your day is over. I hear lots of people justifying this behavior as “I just need to relax.” or “Well I have earned it.” Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those hustle until you die kind of people. Still, we must asking what we could have been doing during that time we were giving to our distractions.

Is it more fun to watch Netflix than clean the house? Undoubtedly. When you put off obligations for pleasures, you still have the stress of undone obligations. It is not just household chores that miss getting done. You could be taking actions that would increase the quality of your health, or your career, or your relationship? That one hour you spent watching videos of cats that look like pop tarts could have been invested in turning your hobby into a business that could add a stream of income. Thinking of ideas to increase the love of you and your partner could have a much greater impact on your life than finding out what the Kardashians are doing.

Do not think wasting one hour a day is such a big deal? If you only waste one hour a day, only on the weekdays, that comes out to 260 hours a week. That is a full 6 and a half 40 hour working weeks you could have invested in bettering your life. Instead of focusing on the pleasure of these mindless distractions, ask yourself what they are costing you. Think of the productive things you could have done with that time.

ADVICE FROM A LAMA

Please note this advice comes from the Buddhist holy man and not the hoofed animal of the Andes. That is ‘llama’. Just so there is no confusion. Here we have a quick reminder in the middle of the week that we have the power to make ourselves happy or unhappy. You may find yourself thinking, “But Neil, I have no way of controlling what is going on in the world.” You would be right, but you have 100% control over how you react to it? Are there a lot of crazy things going on in all of our lives and the world around us? Of course there are. Can we acknowledge those and still be grateful for our health, amazing family and friends? Yes. Yes we can.

The second half of this quote makes another good point. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. Did yesterday suck? It could have. Will tomorrow be a dumpster fire? It might. All we have control over is our actions today. There is a whirlwind of craziness going on in my life as we speak. Still, I am here in a coffee shop writing to people around the globe. That makes me happy. It sure beats sitting on the couch fretting over what may happen tomorrow or all of the stupid mistakes I have made in the past.

Today may you realize that you have the power to decide what way your emotions will go. Do not give power to outside circumstances or events. Whatever you do, stay away from giving power to those negative thoughts between your own two ears. Be present. Be grateful. Life will return to you a inner peace and joy you deserve.

YOUR WORLD CAN BE BETTER!

In today’s crazy world we are always searching for ways in which we can make our life better. This quote contributed to Confucius is one way. As humans, we are rather predisposed to focus on what needs to be ‘fixed’ in both our lives and the world at large. These days that list has grown rather long. Focusing on these things, especially those we have no control over, can leave us feeling overwhelmed at best and downright depressed at worst.

It is important to look at what needs to be fixed. Especially in our own lives. To be constantly fixated on these events will drain our energy and deplete us emotionally. We need to be motivated and healed by noticing all of the good that surrounds us every day. When we focus on what is good, we notice more of what is good. We begin to see that there is reason to have faith in both the world and the human race. This is important to make sure that we do not let the negative element to win control of our mind and the world at large.

Yes, notice what has to be fixed. Then be thankful and recognize that you do not have to fix everything. Stop to reflect on the beauty and kindness that still exists in this world. Do yourself a favor and remember to keep your mind on the good, even while trying to address the things that are troubling you.

BEING GREAT

Today in the United States we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. day. It is only fitting that we start off with a quote from the man himself. My favorite thing about this quote is that it is a simple, yet effective formula for success. Many people view becoming successful in terms of grand events. Winning the lottery, getting that promotion, losing all the weight they want or whatever they view to be successful. Being great, or successful, is not that complicated.

Take a look at the examples above. Winning the lottery? How about saving or investing the money we would have spent foolishly? Getting that promotion? While we are working to make that happen, we should be doing the best we can at the job we currently have. Putting in a hard days work, whether we are acknowledged for it or not, is being great. How about losing weight? That seems to be on a lot of people’s minds now. It is admirable to be healthy, but understand that even the small things we do will make us great. Saying ‘no’ to the doughnuts in the breakroom is great. Going for a walk after dinner when all we want to do is lay down, that is great.

Doing the ‘small’ things greatly is what prepares us for when the big things arise. If we work to keep our studio apartment in order, guess what will happen when we move into that mansion? If we keep working on passing on the doughnuts, or maybe adding healthy meals to our plate, eventually we will start losing that weight. We are a success long before we reach our goal weight. We are great every time we do not give into temptation. We should celebrate every small step on the way to greatness and make sure we do each one to the best of our ability.

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE BY LAURA

This post could have easily been credited to my mother, or of course Lao Tzu as they both advocate this message. It was my coworker and friend Laura who gave me the answer most recently. When I asked her what she thinks is the key to falling in love with life, her eyes lit up as she recalled a conversation she had with her son recently. As her son watched her become upset and anxious, he informed her that she needed to stop worrying so greatly about the future and focus more on being present. How many of us could use that advice?

It is easy to tell someone not to worry about the future, but how can we do that? If we study the quote above, it makes things crystal clear. Focusing our energy in the past, which cannot be changed, is a waste of our precious energy. Worry about the future, which has not happened and may never happen, is a good deal of wasted energy as well. The more we are worried about the future, the more that should drive us to be present. Why? The only thing we have that can affect the future is the actions we take in the present. If those actions amount to nothing other than sitting on our hands and worrying, we will not have much of an impact at all.

Lowering stress and increasing drive are two great reasons to be present. They are also two ways to love life more. The picture above highlights what I think is the greatest reason to focus on the present. If you are too worried about the past of the future, you often miss both the beauty and the opportunity in the present. Look at the dog fully immersed in what is happening. He is probably enjoying the woods, the man’s company and surely a squirrel or two. The man may not even realize he is in the woods or that the dog is next to him. The closer we come to a calm mind, the better we are positioned to take advantage of all life is offering us in the present. Whether that is a job opportunity or just a squirrel.

Laura, my mother and Lao Tzu are all right. Being present is one great way to fall back in love with your life. There are so many miracles that we miss every day. Simply being alive and able to breathe is a miracle in itself. By transferring our concerns about the future into motivation for the present and insuring we remain fully engaged in that present are two great ways to fall in love with life. How would you answer the question, “What would you tell someone to do if that wanted to fall in love with life?”

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE BY JONATHAN

My next book will be filled with tools and strategies to fall in love with your life. It is with this in mind I have been asking others that very question, “What would you say is the key to falling in love with life?” Today, we are going to look at the answer given me by my coworker Jonathan. It has some great points and it just may help you fall in love with your life a little bit more. Come join me in exploring Jonathan’s answer.

To start, this is a two-part answer. The first thing that Jonathan mentioned was that people need to take care of their necessities. When I pressed him as to why he thought this was so important, he told me that unless your food, shelter and clothing are taken care of, it is hard to focus on what gives you joy. Your mind will always be in survival mode. It is true that if you lost your job or your home, meditation would not be the first thing on your mind. We must make sure our basic needs are met.

The second half of his answer was even more profound. He said it was important to spend time and energy on what makes you happy despite what others may think. He used the example of collecting comic books. If people tell you that hobby is “stupid” or “nerdy”, do it anyway. If what you enjoy brings joy to your soul and does not harm anyone else, pursue it. Sacrificing what we really enjoy to impress others, or even to not offend them, leads to resentment and anger. These feelings are not only projected at others, but at ourselves for denying our joy at the judgement of others.

Do what Jonathan advocates. Take actions to make sure the necessities of life are under control. After that do what sparks joy in your heart and do not worry about the opinions of others.

WEEKEND PONDERING…

This quote from Epictetus really makes it simple. For those of you who do not know, Epictetus was a slave before becoming a philosopher. That is certainly an auspicious start of there ever was one.

Picturing who you want to be is something we should do daily. Keep focused on the individual we wish to see looking back at us in the mirror. Myself, I wish to be staring back at a best-selling author who is changing people’s lives for the better and leaving the world a better place.

Once we get clear on exactly who we wish to be, the next step is thinking about what it will take to get there. Even if we do not know the exact steps to get there, we can focus on the traits this person would have. A best-selling author would write every day. They would focus on developing their craft and vocabulary. This is why, for the last 1300 days, you have seen a blog from me.

This weekend take some time to get clear about the kind of person you wish to be. This is not only professional, but personal as well. Do you wish to be more positive? More disciplined? Then decide what you have to do to get there. It would help to write it down and check in with yourself every morning. Maybe while looking in that mirror? Before long the person starting back at you will be the person you want to be!

IT JUST KEEPS REPEATING…

Do you ever find yourself in the same painful situations? Asking yourself, “why me?” Or “not again?” It could be the universe trying to get that message through to you. Instead of complaining about the situation you find yourself in look for the lesson you can learn. It will reduce your stress and you just might come out on top!

PASS IT ALONG

Here is a simple greeting. Can you imagine how you would feel if someone said this to you? I say we try spreading this, and other positive greetings, as much as we can and in a many places as we can! Feel free to steal this picture and place it on all of your social media accounts! That way everyone will get a little positivity while scrolling.

One of the most impactful things you can do is share positive vibes with everyone you come in contact with. Be that person today! Share a smile and genuine well-wishes! Be the kind of person people look forward to seeing. The more of us that do this, the brighter the world will become!