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SECRET OF HAPPINESS

Happiness is a multi-billion dollar business these days. Everyone is buying books, attending seminars and going on vacation looking to find that moment of bliss we all seek. The ironic thing about all this is that the solution, and the bliss, is a lot closer and a lot cheaper than we make it. When people look at the quote above, they mistakenly think developing a mindset like this will stifle the motivation to pursue a better life. That is not the case at all. When we appreciate what we have as we are pursuing something better, it fills our life with more joy and makes us more resilient to the challenges along the way.

Sadly, the way that most people learn to adopt this attitude is when what they have is taken away. If you are unhappy that you cannot get around as well as you used to, what happens when the ability to get around is taken away from you all together? Suddenly, you would love to have that ability back. You could be working on improving your ability to get around through exercise and stretching while reminding yourself “At least I have the ability to work on this.” Think of people who complain about going to work. On occasion I can be one of those people. One of the best ways to fall in love with your job is to face the prospect of losing it. If you lose it all together, you would be overjoyed to have to go to work again.

I do not wish that you would have to face anything being taken from your life. Although, if it does indeed make us more grateful it can be considered a blessing. To adopt this miracle mindset before that happens, use that magic and powerful word -gratitude. There are times I listen to people get truly irate over trivial things. You are consumed in anger because your neighbor’s dog uses your lawn like a public restroom. Sure, your neighbor should be more considerate, but to lose yourself in anger over it only serves to ruin your life not theirs. You think your life is tough and people treat you unfairly? Try going for a walk through a children’s cancer ward. These kids are barely starting life and are facing the prospect of it ending all too soon. Not to mention the ridiculous financial burden their families will be saddled with on top of their emotional burden. Then, tell me again how your neighbor’s dog is ruining your life.

You may think this as an extreme example, but the point is the life we live is the dream of far more than we can imagine. You have the ability to read this right now. That means you have access to the internet, not to mention the ability to read. Those two items alone would allow you to accomplish more than someone could have done in decades only a few years ago. Are you aware there are roughly 800 million people in the world who cannot read and write? Think of how much that will limit their opportunities and future?

Realizing how wonderful we truly have it will not cause us to sink into a world of lazy contentment. On the contrary. I find that when people adopt a grateful attitude and realize how many gifts they have in their life, they are more eager to develop and share them. How about you? Has this article inspired you to take a hard look at all you should be appreciating in your life? I hope it has.

YOUR MOST IMPORTANT MISSION!

This world is pretty crazy right now. What can we do to bring a little more sense and a lot more peace to it? Adopt this as our mission. That is to be a light in an often dark world. If you make your mission to lift others up and to give them hope and belief in themselves, you will have not only made their world a better place, you will have made the world a better place.

Think of how much better we could all be if someone helped remind us how worthy we are. If someone showed us our magic again. We all have it. Inside each and every one of us lies the ability to change the world for everyone we come in contact with. If that isn’t a superpower, I do not know what is. We should adopt this as our mission in life. When we do, we will not only see our world change for the better, but we will begin to see the world around us improve as well.

YOUR TRUE COMPETITION

In our journey to become the best version of ourselves we encounter what we consider a lot of competition. Today’s post comes with a little mix of good and bad news. First the bad, because we love to finish on a positive note. None of what we perceive as our competition matters as much as we believe it does. Most people are too involved in their own lives to worry much about ours. Those who are not are really not competition. Anyone who is more concerned about what is going on with the lives of others rather than their own is not going very far in life. As the picture above reminds us, what stands in our way is often what lays inside of us. If you want to become an improved version of yourself as rapidly as possible, work on what is inside you. The secret to an amazing life is that it starts with becoming an amazing version of yourself.

That is the ‘bad’ news. In reality, it is also the good news too. If our greatest challenges to becoming the best we can be are the characteristics that lay inside us, than they are completely under our control to change. We can improve our bad habits, we can eliminate our distractions. When we hear people say things like “I would get more done but I always end up binge watching Netflix.” Ask ourselves, is the problem Netflix, or the individuals inability to stay focused and limit their television time?

Sticking with this example, people would spend more time trying to change Netflix instead addressing their own inability to save television viewing until they have completed the tasks they need to. It is not Netflix fault you sit down and watch 3 hours of programing in a row. Oh, they do things that make that very easy. That is definitely true. We still have the power to discipline ourselves not to pick up the remote until our days work is done. If we work really hard, we can develop the strength to pick it up and push ‘off’ after one episode.

If you want to beat your most intense competition, do not look in the cubicle or house next to you. Your greatest competition looks back at you in the mirror every day!

IT STILL MATTERS

Today is Monday. That can be a little tough for many of us. By the end of the day all we can think about is keeping our heads above water. It can be hard to think of any personal goals and hobbies we wish to pursue. He is a little secret. Even a little progress is huge. This is true especially on the hard days. That can be writing a few words on the book you are working on. It can be going for a little walk while trying to get in shape.

It may feel like if we can only do a little, is it worth it to do anything at all? The answer is absolutely. We can’t always workout for an hour or run a marathon. We can go for a walk after dinner. This isn’t only a physical fitness analogy. Want to increase the love between you and your spouse? How about a well thought out appreciation given to the one you love? It may seem like a little action, but trust me, it matters.

There are two important things to remember about taking little actions. First, you will be proud of yourself that you did something verses nothing. Sure, it may not be the big step you would have liked to take, but it is better than not taking any step at all. The second thing to remember is that little steps add up to big results. You may not repair all of the hurt in a relationship overnight, but taking a few seconds to convey genuine appreciation is that little progress that can start to move the needle. Take steps like this every day and your relationship will grow by leaps and bounds.

Next time you are tempted to think that little progress does not matter, think of these examples. Understand that doing even a little can give you the pride and confidence to keep going. Also understand that a little progress done daily can, and will, add up to big results. If you can’t do a lot, do a little. It will be worth it in the long run.

IMPORTANCE OF CONFIDENCE

One of my guilty pleasures in old-school hip-hop music. The ones from the late 80’s and early 90’s. I enjoy the fact that you can actually understand what they are saying and the lyrical content is usually not too off the rails. In fact, one of the main subjects they include in their lyrics is how great they are. It reminds me of the boxer Muhammad Ali. He told the world he was the greatest before he even won anything. He was that confident.

Confidence is a tricky thing. It is often confused with arrogance. In reality, they have very little to do with each other. True confidence stems from a believe in yourself. This can be fostered from the knowledge of work you did to prepare, or past performance in overcoming a similar situation. It may be an inner knowing that you are going to persist no matter what challenges appear. Confidence is earned. It is never earned at the sacrifice of others. In fact, confidence doesn’t involve others. It is an inside job.

What tools and strategies do you use to boost your confidence? Have you ever thought about this? Having confidence allows us to keep going when others would quit. If we have built up enough of it, we could keep going long after we thought we would quit. It is another reason to stick with the promises that you make to yourself. Knowing that you keep your word to yourself is another way to give you confidence. I would love to hear what other ways you give yourself confidence.

LIVE YOUR VALUES

This quote could not come at a better time. It seems the world is arguing about whose values are right. Many people are doing their best to force their values on others. That never works. Why, in the year 2025, have we not figured that out is beyond me. If we truly feel our values are ones other people would benefit by adopting, there is only one way in which we can have them desire to do so. Notice I did not say convince or force them to. When we attempt to do that, it creates resentment and often negatively represents whatever value we are attempting to inspire others to adopt.

The one way in which we can demonstrate to others the benefits of adapting this value is to live it ourselves. If we are advocating a particular health lifestyle, but we are sick all of the time and lack energy, it would seem unlikely anyone would follow our advice. In my line of work it is much the same. I wrote a book titled, Living the Dream. If you ran into me and saw that I was in a constant state of depression, my health was poor and so was I, would you be likely to buy the book? I know I would not. The reality of the situation is that I have people asking me the secret of my happiness and the relationship I share with the woman I love. I guess I could tell them to “Read the book.”

It is not just what is in the book, but the fact that I live and practice the activities that I wrote in there. If you read that book, available on Amazon I might mention, you will have the very same tools and strategies that I use in my own life. Speaking of my amazing lady, there is another secret to living your values – having people in your life that call you out when you are not. It can be a bit frustrating when I am busy feeling sorry for myself and I hear my love’s sweet voice ring out, “That is not living an attitude of gratitude.” Having someone who holds you accountable is one of the best tools to living an amazing life. We all slip from time to time. Having someone remind us of the values we hold dear is worth its weight in gold.

3 WAYS HARD TIMES END

Nobody I know likes to go through hard times. Yes, it is true that they help us grow the most. Yes, it is true that we learn the most about ourselves and our character in those hard times. Still, this does not make them anymore fun to go through. We all wish they would end. Well, end they do. Above you will see the three ways it which they can. The first is the easiest. That is us giving up. There is no growth, no learning or nothing other than the pain of what we experienced. Often this course of action leaves us far worse off in the long run.

The second one is that it becomes easier. This is usually a result of perseverance. Managing to hold on despite the odds and circumstances not being in our favor. By staying in the fight, if I may use that analogy, we learn things or notice patterns that can make the challenge we are facing easier. By not giving up, we become used to the struggle and become more adaptive ourselves. This alone can make the situation feel easier.

Lastly, is the fact that we become stronger. This is a little different than just becoming more adaptable as stated above. This is putting the hard times to work for us. Once a hard time commences, we have the choice as to the attitude in which we approach it. The fact that we are going through hard times is seldom, if ever, under our control. The attitude in which we face these challenges, however, is completely under our control. Becoming stronger involves deciding we are going to use this hard time to develop some area of our character, practice a skill we are working on or maybe just learn something new. The difference is that we are actively deciding this from the onset.

Next time you are faced with a hard time, remember it will end. Most importantly, remember you have the choice as to how it will end. Going through hard times is never fun, but coming out the other side stronger makes them worthwhile.

ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH?

Let us talk about what real strength is. Being strong is not being part of the group currently in power. Being strong is not being the loudest or having your opinion be accepted by the most people. No that is not being strong. That is actually rather easy. It is easy to repeat the talking points of the the group, be that political religious or any other nature. What takes strength is being able to speak truth, kindness and compassion.

If you really want to be strong, remain calm and kind when faced with opposition. When you see those you disagree with spreading lies, to be able to remain steadfast in your kindness and commitment to truth, that takes strength. When someone attacks you personally, can you have the strength to resist the urge to retaliate? Retaliation is not strength. It is weakness. It is giving into base emotions such as hurt and anger. It will not improve your life or the situation. Often, it makes the point of the opposition look valid.

Next time you are tempted to say something that speaks division and hatred, ask yourself, “Am I not strong enough to rise above this?” Be a person of value. Be someone who speaks of growth and becoming the best version of themselves and not what is wrong with your neighbor. Be the best example to all of those who are watching you. That is true strength.

MAKE LIFE MORE INCREDIBLE THAN YOU IMAGINED

I cannot say this enough, so apparently I will say it again today. If you are really searching for the secret to an amazing life, and if you are reading this site I can only assume you are, start with changing your focus to gratitude. Why do we focus on this one emotion so much here? Gratitude is so powerful that if you truly put it to use in your life, it will turn the life you have into the life you love. It will feel like magic. Why? Because life really is magical. We have just become blind to it. It is like walking over a diamond in the sidewalk on the way to work everyday. Actually, it is better than that. Having an attitude of gratitude is more valuable than a diamond.

Have you ever noticed how your thoughts affect your mood? Your mood, after all, is your life. If you are angry and pissed off, your world will be angry and pissed off. If you are someone who is always looking for the beauty in what is around them, you will be someone who always sees the world as beautiful, even in the darkest of times. If you want to live a life that is amazing, you must start to look for and focus on what is amazing. To help this, try speaking about what is amazing. Speak of your blessings. Les Brown once said, “Nobody wants to hear your problems. 80% don’t care and 20% are glad it is you.” That is not to say don’t reach out if you need help, just that you focus on your blessings.

In life we all have struggles. We also all have blessings. Look around you. There is so much beauty and joy to be discovered it is inconceivable. Look at the face of someone you love. Think of how much they love you despite all of your quirks and flaws. Think of the beauty and kindness of all the souls you cross paths with. Every person blesses the world in ways we may never understand. Begin by sharing one thing you are grateful for every day with others. See how much this transforms your life. Imagine how you make others feel when you enter a room with the phrase, “Do you know what I am so grateful for today?” It may encourage others to acknowledge all of the blessings in their life as well.

THE BEST PATH IN A WORLD OF HATE

It can seem the world has become a little dark lately. The news, which I do my best to avoid at all costs, has been filled with stories of anger and tragedy. Many people’s hearts are filled with the same. Even if you are not part of the problem, it can be hard not to feel the effects of the problem. What can you do when the world feels like it could collapse at any moment? My answer? Be grateful it hasn’t.

Self-care becomes even more important for the individual when the world seems to need it. More about that in a second. It can feel quite difficult to even leave the house when the outside world seems crazy. First of all, sometimes the answer is not to. Stay home. Have a glass of wine and watch a movie. Maybe craft with your kids while listening to some fun music. Maybe have a glass of wine while crafting with the kids. Just don’t craft the kids with a glass of wine. In all seriousness, sometimes the answer is to shut out the world and enjoy a little peace. While doing so, change your focus to what you do have to be grateful for. This can seem difficult at first, but stick with it. After spending time with self-care and gratitude, you would be amazed at how much the world can change.

Eventually, you may have to leave the house. What then? How can you survive in this crazy world without losing your mind. Remember that self-care and gratitude? Practice it on others. Let others know that they are appreciated and why. If you can practice acts of self-care, like paying for the coffee of the person behind you, then do that. Share smiles and reassurance. Know the overwhelm you feel is often felt like others that may just be hiding it better. Everyone loves to know they are appreciated and everyone loves the gift of genuine kindness. Even the ones who do not appear to. They are the ones who need it the most.

Next time the insanity of the world has you feeling overwhelmed, take time to escape for yourself. When you do go back out into the world, share kindness, compassion and gratitude with as many as you can, as often as you can. This will not only help you feel better, it is also the only way in which we can heal the world.