TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE 🍎

A few posts back we stressed starting more positive conversations both online and in person. We put forth that sharing with each other why we love one another, or at the very least, what we find admirable, would be a great start. Considering that randomly asking people, “What do you like best about me?” Can be difficult for some people. Not me, but then again I am not like most people. I have come up with another question I am going to both ask you, my readers, and suggest you do the same through your social media and in your personal conversations. I am going to share my answers with you in this post, and I would love to read yours in the comments below.

The question is a two-part one, but a simple one. Who was your favorite teacher you have had and what did they bring to your life? Margie and I shared our answers with each other last night over dinner. It was funny how each of us was affected by different teachers for entirely different reasons. It was also nice reflecting on people who have made a positive impact on our lives. I also learned some things about my beautiful lady and what really touches her and what she values in people. A pleasant side-effect to this conversation.

Now for my answers. My favorite teachers inspired me in many different ways. There were no Cameron Diaz Bad Teacher, type moments. No, my teachers inspired me in both positive and negative ways. Some of these happened in the moment, some happened in reflection. Let us start when I was young. Shall we?

One of the first teachers I remember having a fond interaction with was in my 3rd grade class. This teacher was big on having us write stories. She was constantly complimenting me on my ability to write a good fictional story. She even kept some of mine as examples to use in the future. This was very helpful to boost a young man’s self-esteem. It shall be noted, however, that out of my 3 published books, none are fiction. The second teacher from when I was young was my 5th grade teacher. She was big into reading to us. Something that Margie remembered about one of her teachers as well. One day she lost her voice and guess who she picked to read to the class? Yep, yours truly. For 2 whole days I stood in front of the class and read a book called Owls in the Family. The class was ruthless in their review. Although I was able to read quite well, I was not the teacher, who had read the book several times and did different inflections for each character. It was one of my first experiences in public speaking. It also turned out to be my first experience in being heckled. Good to get both of those out of the way when we are young.

There was only one teacher in middle school that I recall having an impact on me. Her name was Ms. Bede. She taught both business management and short-hand. Two subjects I was fairly certain I would not need in my future endeavors. Although in hindsight, the first might have been a little helpful. She was a sweet little lady. Reminded you of someone’s grandma. For that reason alone, I think she had everyone’s respect. What I enjoyed about her is that she really seemed to care. She was constantly on my case about paying better attention. After assuring her I had no desire to be a court reporter so I had limited use for short hand in my life, she gave me words of wisdom I remember to this day. “Young man, I suggest you pay less attention to socializing with the young ladies and more to your homework. Do you think in the future people will be paid to just talk about themselves?” I wonder if Ms. Bede has ever watched the Kardashians?

In high school, I had several teachers who made an impact on me. First one I recall was my physics teacher, Mr. Velk. When asked why we should pay attention to physics, his answer made sense to me. “Let us suppose you are on a roof on a windy day and want to throw a rock and hit someone in the head with it. Wouldn’t you like to know what angle and how hard you would have to throw it?” Not exactly the most noble of pursuits, but it taught me to find the practical application for whatever I was learning. There was also my history teacher, Mr. Hein. His passionate zeal for the subject, and often colorful and racially insensitive language, really made history come alive. The teacher the year before had just repeated dates and facts in a monotone. He also had really bad breath.

That leads us to my final example. My senior year teacher in the subject of English. We often butted heads. I could not understand how knowing what a dangling participle was, and how many levels the story Paradise Lost was told on, could improve my chances for a better life. To this end, it was questionable as to whether or not I would pass this class, and thus graduate school itself. It was what she said to me on the final day of school that, upon reflection years later, would impact me. After signing some generic thing in my yearbook, she looked me right in the eye and told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” In her defense, I would have told that version of myself much the same thing. Still, 3 books and almost 2000 blog posts later, here we are. Never let anyone, even an authority figure, tell you what you can or cannot do.

The point here is that there are no bad teachers. I view teaching, just below being a parent in the field of noble careers. To be able to impact the lives of young people is something I respect and admire very much. There were many great teachers that I have had in my life time. I have touched on just a few and only stuck to the field of professional teachers. Yet, if we are honest with ourselves, doesn’t everyone have the opportunity to teach us something? I would love to hear about teachers who have made the most positive impact in your life.

ASK YOURSELF THE MILLION DOLLAR 💵 QUESTION. 💰

In this crazy, fast-paced world of ours, everyone seems to be working to get ahead. Does that sound like you? Have you ever found yourself working until you are exhausted? After that have you wondered to yourself, or maybe even out loud, if it is all worth it? Perhaps you even questioned what it is all for? Do not worry. You are not alone. Those can be powerful questions to ask ourselves, if we use them correctly. Still, there is one question that we should all be asking ourselves that would not only reduce those feelings of stress, worry and burnout, but help us feel refreshed, driven and accomplished.

What is that question? I call it the Million Dollar Question. The reason that I call it that, is because the benefit it has to our life is priceless. I have spoken about this in one of my YouTube Videos, and even dedicated a section to it in my book, Living the Dream. We took a look deeper into it on my podcast, Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. While I recommend you check out all of those, I will even post a link for the podcast episode at the bottom of this post, I am going to make it even simpler for you. I do this for 2 reasons. The first one should be obvious. We began this post by talking about how busy everyone is. What better way to help us live a positive rewarding life, than taking a complex idea and shortening it down to one question. The second reason is that a lot of people, my mother being one of them, had a problem with the way the idea was presented.

The video, the section in the book and the podcast episode advocated writing your own eulogy. It struck a lot of people as too morbid. Personally, I think it was a very healthy, albeit sobering, idea. We are all going to have a eulogy about us when we die. They are complex and difficult things to write. Trust me, I have given 5 of them in my life already. The purpose of the exercise was two-fold. One, it reminded us how fleeting life could be. I have already died once, and I am only 47. Good thing I came back because I didn’t have a good draft done yet. The point is, we never know when life may take us. The other point is the one we are going to address today. That is, what we will leave behind. I am not talking about material possesions, but the lessons. How will we have made people feel? Will we have done anything to help the greater good of our family, our community or the greater good?

I can imagine reading that and thinking, “Neil that is great, but it sounds like several questions to me.” You would be correct. We can simplify all of this down to one question you should ask yourself whenever you are feeling lost, do not know which way to go or even feeling burnt out. What is that question? I was beginning to wonder if we would ever get to it myself. The Million Dollar Question, as I call it, is this – What do I want to be remembered for? This may be a little less emotionally triggering than writing a eulogy. It is surely something that can be answered in the moment when we are facing making a difficult decision.

I suggest using this question in 2 ways. First, sit down with a pen and paper and give yourself some time to think. Write down many things that you want to be remembered for. Think of every area in your life. What kind of worker do you want to be remembered as? What kind of friend do you want to have a reputation of being? How about to the people who matter most, your family? How will they remember you. Write as much down as you can. There are no right or wrong answers. Then keep that paper somewhere safe. I suggest looking at it once a week at least. Perhaps on Monday to focus the week. Friday would be a good day to reflect and see if your actions the previous week would lead to you being remembered as you want to be.

The second way to use this is to ask yourself this question throughout the day. It will help guide your actions to be the person you want to be. Ask yourself when facing a difficult decision. Knowing who you want to be may help you make the correct, and sometimes difficult, decision. Maybe even write it down on an index card and carry it with you. Set it as an alarm on your phone to remind you to think of it at least once a day. How about you? Who do you want to be remembered as? I cannot wait to hear your answer.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO MY PODCAST ON THIS SUBJECT

TRUST THE PROCESS 🤗

In the self-improvement field, you often hear that you should “trust the process”. This loosely means that you should somehow believe that everything is going right, when it appears everything is going wrong. There is both a right way and a wrong way to do this.

Trusting the process does not mean ignoring what is going wrong. Just assuming everything is going right to the detriment of learning from what is wrong is a recipe for disaster. The right way to trust the process involves the conviction that the end result will be positive and the current challenges are there to teach and strengthen us, not to stop us.

This is also what happens when people study the Law of Attraction. I have heard people watch the movie The Secret, and walk away thinking all they have to do is wish for something and it will happen. First, that is not what the movie, or the law of attraction, says. Second, that is not how to put your mind, and the laws of the universe to work for you.

Trusting the process, especially while using the law of attraction, involves visualizing your specific goal, feeling and knowing it will be reached (Trusting the process) And looking for inspired actions you should take. It is having that faith that things will turn out OK, as you work towards making them so.

Some great ways to increase that faith, and the ability to trust the process, are seen in the first picture. I would love to hear some of your methods for trusting the process.

WEDNESDAY MIRACLES 😇

Today is one of my favorite days of the year! It is the first day of summer where I live. I love the warm weather and sunshine. Where I live, both of those are in short supply most of the year. It is also Wednesday. This is a day where many of us may be starting to wear down a little. We have spent too many days getting up early and leaving our family to go to work at a place that may not feed our soul as much as we would like. Even if we love our job, the stress can start to get to us as our responsibilities pile up.

Here is a simple formula for keeping the smile on your face and the pep in your step. Find miracles. That is not so hard is it? I can see many of you staring at your screen with either a confused or somewhat condescending look on your face. “Yeah sure Neil, there are miracles around every corner of my life. I’ll just start writing them down.” That may be said with a degree of sarcasm, but it is actually true. Before you are tempted to tune me out entirely, ponder this. How, when you literally pass thousands of motorists in a month, do you not get in an accident? You may offer that you are a good driver, and perhaps you are, but what about everybody else? What do you think the odds that someone would not be paying attention, driving recklessly, or maybe even under the influence? Out of the thousand motorists you pass, I would say there are several. Yet, you still remained safe. How about how many germs you come in contact with everyday? A quick search on Google will tell you that number sits at roughly 60,000. That is a lot of germs. We are not sick everyday. That is a miracle. Think of these odds. There are between 100 and 300 million sperm at the time of conception, yet, here you are! You won that lottery.

These may seem like we are looking at life through rose-colored glasses, but it does not make any of the mentioned facts less true! How many cracks in the sidewalk do we make it past without tripping? How about being fortunate enough to have access to a blog post written by a very charming author who could be halfway around the world? Only a few years ago, this would have been unheard of. These are all miracles. Take note of them. In my life, I often think it is a miracle that my beautiful lady has the patience to not only stick with me, but to love me as well. It is a miracle that Margie does not run away when she sees my Albert Einstein/Don King hair style first thing in the morning.

Here is my suggestion. Take note of 3 miracles you see in life, be it your own or others, and write them down every Wednesday. See the difference it will have in how you approach the rest of your life. Writing them down accomplishes two very important things. First, it forces us to slow down and think of them. Second, it gives us a great list to refer back to when we need a little lift. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to celebrate the miracle of warm weather in Wisconsin.

REWIRE YOUR BRAIN 🧠

It can be so frustrating when you are doing your best to live a calmer and more loving life and people do their best to challenge that. You can bite your tongue one time, but the next time you just remember how much it hurt. Not only that, but people can be so thoughtless and really push us. You may even ask yourself, “What is the point of trying to resist acting on my anger when I can’t do it all of the time?” That is a fair question. One, every time that you do manage to do it, you end up with less hurt feelings on the other side and less to apologize for later. As the picture above says, you are also working on rewiring your brain.

If you take the same path in the woods everyday, and then you choose to change it up for a week, the second path will not be nearly as worn in as the first. Similarly, if you have been a slave to your emotions for years of your life, and now you are trying to take control of them, the path in your brain for reaction will be a lot more worn in than the one for intelligently responding. It takes practice and, on occasion, we may slip and go down the more familiar path. Give yourself some compassion. It takes a long time to rewire a house. Can you imagine rewiring a machine with over 86 billion connections? That is how many neurons are in the average brain. They make up our ‘wiring’.

Doing your best to rewire 86 billion connections not enough motivation for you? Think of this – those people disturbing your peace would love to see you lose control. In fact, sometimes that is all they are after. By maintaining control and responding instead of reacting will infuriate them like nothing else. Done enough times and they might give up trying to upset you all together. What if you fail and let them get to you? Just remember, they may have won the battle, but the war is still yours to win. Use that feeling of frustration and failure to motivate you to keep control next time. As the picture above says, “Someone out there is holding their breath waiting for you to fail. Make sure they suffocate.” You don’t actually want to kill anyone, but killing off their desire to upset you would certainly help you live a more calm and peaceful life.

Keep doing your best to resist giving into anger. You are not at the mercy of your emotions, you are their master. That does not mean you should turn into a cold and unfeeling person. It means you should learn how to use and channel every emotion you experience. Both the good and the seemingly bad. I used the word seemingly because you can use them as well. Have a lot of anger? Go to the gym and get a great workout in. Feeling sad or down? Use that to reach out and connect with friends. Feeling lonely? Perhaps you could make friends with a stranger who could also use some company. Feel your emotions, just remember to master them as well.

I WAS IRRITATED, THEN I USED IT 🤔

The strangest thing happened to me the other day. Margie and I both work extremely hard. It is rare we have 2 days off in a row. For me, I don’t even have one. This coming Monday and Tuesday I do. We decided to take advantage and treat ourselves to a mini getaway. We chose a local hotel about 10 miles from our house. We like the restaurant that they have, but never stayed there. I stopped by to book the room one day after work. That was about a week ago. Just yesterday, they called to say they were canceling my reservation. Why? You might ask. It was because I did not live far away from the hotel. It would appear this national hotel chain does not book rooms to anyone who lives in a 30 mile radius. To me, this makes absolutely no sense. Why, as a business, you would say “If you live 30 miles from our hotel, we do not want you as a customer.” is beyond me.

The more I thought about this, the more it confused me. I am an author, podcast host and blogger followed in over 200 countries. If my next door neighbor wanted to buy my book, do you know what I would do? I would sell it to him. If my good friend in Australia wanted a copy of one of my books, I would sell it to her as well. I would not eliminate anyone from my business because of how close or far they live to me. I was willing to pay a good sum to stay at this location, and they refused my money. Margie, who was also confused by the policy, called the hotel to see if there was some mistake. The lady informed her that was indeed their policy and added for good measure, “There is no way I am going to rent you a room.” Not only does it appear this business is not interested in serving their local community, but they seem bent on supplying poor customer service on top of it.

Then I do what I always do. I started asking myself empowering questions. What is this lesson trying to teach me? How can I use this? What is good about this situation? What I decided was that if a hotel was not concerned about alienating their neighbors and customer service that leads to negative word of mouth advertising, I probably would not enjoy my stay there. It also reminded me of the importance of taking care of your neighbors. It put into my head an idea for a great charity event that I am putting together for next month. (More on that in a future post.) Then I asked if perhaps there was a better location that Margie and I were supposed to stay at.

With this in mind, I began to look for other hotels that may be more interested in taking my money. This Not-so-best Western ‘plus’ seemed fine without me. I drove to a hotel a few cities over, just to make sure it was more than 30 miles. It was a Country Inn and Suites. Not only was it connected to 2 amazing restaurants, but the lady could not have been nicer. Just to be safe, I asked her if they had any distance restrictions. She wore a puzzled look. I explained my situation from the earlier hotel. “Oh no. You could live 1 minute away and we would be happy to serve you.” she assured me. This was so refreshing.

In the end, the first hotel may have frustrated and inconvenienced me with their silly policy and waiting until the last minute to inform me of it, but it served me well. It not only gave me the content for today’s blog, but reminded me how important taking care of those closest to you is. It spurred a great idea that I can use to serve my community. Hopefully, as you read this, Margie and I will be enjoying our getaway with a heated pool, hot tub and free breakfast. Let us all learn from the Mistake of the Worst Western. Let us not be so focused on changing the world, that we forget our own community. In every challenge, there is the seed for an even greater opportunity.

START PEOPLE TALKING DIFFERENTLY 👄

One of the areas people complain the most about is social media. Why is it so negative? Why are all the posts they see political or making fun of people. My first question is who chooses what you see on your social media? That would be ‘you’. If you have a person who routinely posts such content, perhaps you can live without their input online. If this person happens to be a friend or family member and deleting them would only serve to start even more issues, you still have two choices. The first would be to ‘hide’ or limit the posts you see from them. Most social media platforms have this option.

The second option is even better and is what we will discuss here. Flood your feed with positive items. Follow people who provide positive content. There are endless motivational and inspirational pages as well. You can also change the discussion to something more positive. Look at the picture above. It is one of those things I happened upon on one of my social media platforms. Why not get people talking about what they like about each other? Do you know where people talk good about someone? At their funeral. Why not start doing this while they are alive? Post this picture and see what people like about you. I would love to hear what answers you get. I will certainly share mine. Encourage your friends to share the same picture so you can share what you like about them. It sure beats the “share this or God will fill your bed with fire ants.” or the “If you don’t share this, I know you don’t care” type post. Let us get people focused on, and discussing, something positive. Maybe ask people one positive thing that happened during their day? How about having them name a person who made a positive difference in their life? There are so many ways we can change the narrative.

As an added bonus, try using this in person. You can begin to change the narrative of in person conversations as well.

CREATE THAT BALANCE!⚖️

Our lives are a constant balancing act. We must make sure to balance enough self-care and relaxation with our efforts to create and maintain the life we desire. That equation changes daily. Some days we work more and some days we recharge more.

One temptation on the weekend is to throw that scale 100% in the direction of relaxation. After all, you did just work hard all week right? I am one for making the most out of the time we have for recharging. Especially after we earn it. Just as spending all of our time working is not healthy for us, neither is 100% relaxation.

Working all the time without recharging will lead to burnout and a host of physical problems. Spending of our time on leisure activities will lead to us falling behind on our dreams and leave us feeling frustrated and even disappointed in ourselves.

This weekend, just do one thing that will bring you closer to your goals. Remember, most people do not work on the weekends. If you want a life that is more amazing than the average person, you will need to put in a little work. I would love to hear what one thing you will do this weekend to bring you closer to your goals!

STAR IN YOUR OWN REALITY TV SHOW! 📺

It seems everyone is fascinated with reality television today. There are shows on every channel and streaming network. Many people’s goal is to appear on one of these programs. That could be a great idea to assist us in living the best version of our lives!

How can imaging paparazzi following our every move help us to improve our life? Let me ask you how you would act if you knew millions of people were at home watching your life on their television sets, laptops or even their cell phones? It is a point I consider for when I become a world-famous author.

Would your life be an entertaining program? All lives, including our own, fit into 2 distinct categories. Our lives are either a warning or an example. How about yours? Which one is it? Fear not if your life currently fits in the warning camp. How many movies and television shows start when the main character is at rock bottom?

You might not be on every network,or have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. There are still people watching you. Your life is a story. It is a reality show without the camera and lavish budget. You are not only the star, but the writer, the director and the casting agent. If you are not happy with the reality show of your life, you have the power to change the script!

If there was a television crew following you, what would they see? Would they see someone working hard, or someone hardly working? Would they see a main character who treats others with dignity and respect? Would you be viewed as a hero or a Villain? If we view our lives as a reality show, we realize we control not only what the world would see, but we also have complete control over how our main character (that would be us) rises to meet challenges. How they celebrate victory. How they persevere. You only star in one reality show, your life. Make it a good one.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?🤔

It is so important to take time to reflect on our life and where it is going. Thursday, is a great day for that. I would love to hear on what you are reflecting on this Thursday.