Month: July 2025

IT IS NOT THE STRONG WHO SURVIVE 💪

There are so many people who are afraid of change. While it is true that change can be a little unsettling, do you know what is worse? Not changing. No growth. Stagnation. Imagine living a life like the movie Groundhog Day. How long before you slip from frustration into insanity. To become wealthier we must change. To become happier and healthier we must change. Even what seems like negative changes in these arenas can be the catalyst to help us make positive changes. A job loss can force us to polish our skills and pursue a career that is more personally satisfying. Yes, it may be lean for a while there, but in the end we will end up with a more fulfilled and happy life. It is often after experiencing the greatest health challenges that people finally adopt that healthy lifestyle they ‘never got around to’. It is as if the universe is asking us, “Can you hear me now?” Even significant moments of emotional sadness or loss can remind us of blessings in our life that we formerly took for granted.

Another point that this brings up is the meaning we give change. Like the examples listed above, we have the opportunity to make any change a positive one. We could stop and look at a job loss, the end of a relationship or passing of a loved one and think how terrible this change in our life is. Those situations are not pleasant to be sure. Still, we have the chance to use these circumstances beyond our control to our advantage, or let them define us. The choice is ours.

Once again, Stoic philosophy helps us understand this. Our strength is not in controlling outside events, which we will never be able to fully do, but in controlling our reaction to them. That includes what meaning we assign to them. This job loss, does it mean I am destined to be poor or that the world is pushing me to do something more aligned with my sense of purpose? Before you say that this is a ‘glass half full’ argument, let me tell you it might be. Just as in the case of a glass that can either be viewed as half empty or half full, change in our life can be viewed as holding us back or pushing us forward. Notice the facts have not changed. Our belief system has.

The benefit of adopting a more empowering belief system is a life that is less stressful and more fulfilling. If we believe change is destined to hold us back we will feel one way and make certain decisions and take certain actions. If we believe that change is pushing us in a new direction and will ultimately take us somewhere better we will certainly feel differently and make different decisions and take different actions. This will not only have us feeling happier and more at peace as we go through life, but will also end up with a different reality.

Life will go a lot better for us if we embrace change and take advantage of the power we have over it. Note these words from Darwin and Marcus Aurelius. Use them to remind you that change can be a catalyst to benefit our lives. It is up to us and our mindset.

LIFE IS STRANGE 🤪

Think of this quote for just a moment. When a baby is born, it has no material things to call its own. When we are about to pass away, any material objects we may own stay here. Wealth may help you get better health care on the way out, which is a sad commentary about our society, but you will leave with nothing. It reminds me of a great quote from Denzel Washington I will share with you in just a bit.

Knowledge of these two facts is not anything that eludes us. We may not dwell on them, but we are certainly aware of the truth of them. Ancient Egyptian pharaohs tried taking it with them, but many years later we open their tombs to find it all still there. Still, in today’s more advanced society, we spend our entire lives in pursuit of material things. To some extent there is more of an accent on things like peace and happiness, but they are treated as more of a commodity than a way of being.

There is the quote I promised earlier. “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse. If that isn’t true. Why do we not spend more time and effort on things that will feed both our soul and our legacy? The answer is usually that we are fixed on the idea of comfort, or preoccupied with how we appear to others. It starts when we are young. You have to have the ‘cool’ brand of shoes or clothing. This is true even if another brand is more comfortable and more economical. A good many of us never outgrow this way of thinking. This highlights one of the hypocrisies of living this way. We spend our money, focus and energy on things to make our life more comfortable. Often, these things are not the best option for our life.

Here is one thought to ponder. There is nothing more soothing and comfortable than inner peace. Despite what advertisers may tell you, that is not something you can purchase. There is a song lyric I like that says, “An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.” Knowing that I have given my best and tried to focus on what really matters allows me to sleep at night. Not concerning myself with material status or image for others allows me to focus on more important things. How do I make my lady feel loved? How can I add more joy and positivity to the world? Am I taking actions that will leave the world a better place than I found it? These are the important things to be working on.

One great exercise to help you gain clarity on these matters is discussed at length in my second book, Living the Dream. That is the act of writing your own eulogy. To some this may sound morbid, but it will help you gain both clarity and direction for your own life. Pondering what you want people to say at your funeral, and how you want to be remembered, will show you what actions you should be taking now. It will also become abundantly clear if you are currently taking the proper actions, or if there is something you need to work on. How about you? What are you working on?

BEING ALIVE IS SPECIAL 😊

As we get older, we appreciate how fleeting life is. It was difficult to understand this as a child. Isn’t a year always the same length of time? It is, but as the years go by, they seem to go past with a quicker pace. The loss of a childhood friend yesterday, before the age of 50, just proves life may not even be as long as we think it is.

That is why it is so important not to save the good things for the future.  The joy, the love, just enjoy them now. You may not get another chance. Share love, share happiness. Live now, it’s later than you think.

A WAY TO BE WISE 🤔

This is more than some feel good quote. Epictetus, who went from being born into slavery to teacher of philosophy, knew a thing or two about not having a lot. What allowed him to transform his life, and the lives of countless others, was his mindset! We have discussed at length the subject of gratitude on this site. We have done so because it is one of the most powerful tools we can use to transform our life in the quickest period of time. Want to suddenly have a more fulfilling and happy life? Your best bet would be to find as many ways to incorporate gratitude as you can.

Getting back to the quote at hand, what can it tell us about our own life? A good deal. We may not have been born into slavery, but all of us have had our share of hard times. Maybe a job loss or unexpected bill that has set us back. We all have. What makes focusing on what we have verses what we lack so wise? Let us take a look at that. It will help us see that life is really an inner game. What do I mean by this? Let us look at both sides of this quote.

When we focus on lack, life will never feel fulfilling. If we are a person filled with anger and rage and we suddenly win the lottery, have a great spouse and loving kids, what will our life be? It will be one of anger and rage. We spend so much time trying to achieve outer success before focusing on inner thoughts. That is why we see rock stars, movie stars and celebrities who seem to have it all take their own lives and become addicts. They mastered the outer game, but failed at the inner game. If you become rich and successful, but your are unhappy and ungrateful your life will feel like a failure. In reality, it will be.

Conversely, when we focus on what we have we feel fulfilled. This does not mean we will not seek something better. It simply means as we do that we will acknowledge the fact that we have a lot to be grateful while we are pursuing it. When we do receive more, it will feel even more wonderful because we are already living with an attitude of gratitude. It will just give us more to celebrate and feel grateful for. Those focused on lack will never have enough, no matter how much they have. Those who are focused at feeling grateful for what they have will always feel good no matter how little they have.

Can you see the wisdom in this mindset? One feels terrible no matter how good circumstances are. One feels great no matter how terrible circumstances are. Life, at its core, is our emotional state. If we can find a way to be happy regardless of outside circumstances, than our life will be one of joy. That way is through gratitude. After all focusing on what we lack has turned celebrities into addicts. Focusing on what we have has turned a slave into a philosophy teacher. You owe it to yourself, and those around you, to fill your heart with gratitude. It will make you less stressed, happier and more enjoyable to be around. That is a secret to an amazing life!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

It seems like only yesterday that I was posting about my goal of 1000 days in a row of content. My beautiful lady even threw me a surprise party for the event. It was attended by dear friends and had me feeling so sky high. Can you believe that was 100 days ago? Just like that, we are at 1100 days in a row of content. In some ways this has become easier. Posting insightful content has went from becoming something I do into more of something I am.

Like many things in life, this change has unlocked a secret to an amazing life. That is when your actions become your identity, life becomes less stressful. We can apply this to any area of life. Trying to get in the habit of going to the gym? Start referring to yourself as ‘a gym person’. This works by activating both inner and outer reinforcements. On the outer side of things, the people you inform, “I have decided to become a gym person.” or however you wish to word it, will be more than happy to remind you that gym people go to the gym. On the inner side of things, it starts to work on your subconscious mind. That is what drives 95% of our behavior. Repetition of a statement, as well as attaching it to our identity, will make doing the actions that much easier.

Think of how this works. If you start taking the actions and thinking the thoughts of the person you wish to be, before long, you will be that person. Take our fitness example. If you start declaring you are a fitness person, even if currently that means ‘fitting this doughnut in my mouth’, you will start thinking and talking like a fitness person. When your subconscious hears you say “I have decided to become a fit person.” Then you find yourself making the most of an all-you-can-eat taco bar, it feels wrong. Your mind begins to tell you “This does not align with our identity.” Soon you will find yourself adjusting your actions to fit your new identity.

It has worked for me and my writing. It will work for you and whatever goal you are aspiring to. Decide who you wish to become and then become that person. Declare it and your mind and body will follow.

A GOAL WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE FOR. 🏆

We touched on this a little in the last post. We should endeavor to bring something to the lives of everyone we touch. It could be just lending an ear to someone who never feels heard. One of the best things we can do these days is offer an uplifting and encouraging message to everyone. The world seems in dire need of such things. There are few universal truths in the world. I think wanting to bring something to the life of everyone we meet is one of them.

Some of you may think you do not have much to offer. Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. Everyone of us have our own unique perspective and our own unique skills that add something to the world. It can be an ability to stay calm in the midst of chaos. It can be the skill of finding the positive or humor in any situation. Again, the ability to truly listen to someone. Not just to reply to them, but to truly understand them is a priceless gift.

Starting today, whenever you interact with people, think to yourself, “What can I bring to this person’s life?” Approaching our personal interactions with the question “What could this person really use right now?” Will allow us to bring our relationships to the next level and improve the lives of all of those we come in contact with. How do you bring something special to those you interact with?

PRISON OR OPPORTUNITY 🔒

Here is another post about freedom. It is the freedom that is controlled by the power of our thoughts. Listening to some motivational content the other morning, I heard a good description of this freedom. The gym is a place a lot of people dread going or find like their are ‘forcing themselves’ to go to. The ironic aspect is that most of the people who feel this way are the people who are reasonably healthy and working to get better. If you find someone who has experienced a major health challenge such as a heart attack or a form of cancer and they realize that the gym offers them the freedom of a healthier lifestyle. It not only allows them the freedom of better mobility and energy, but quite often the freedom of being alive.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are people for which it is too late to attend the gym. Maybe they let their health slide to a point they are no longer able to be mobile, or even worse. If you would give them a chance to go back in time to go to the gym and reclaim their life, they would jump at the chance to do so. If you are constantly chasing pleasure, you have become its slave.

Quite often, the difference between prison and opportunity exists in our minds. Take your job, for example. Many people feel as if they are in prison when they are at work. Studies show that 87% of people dislike their jobs. A simple shift in mindset could great assist us in this matter. If we realize what our jobs afford us to do. With them we can pay our bills to have a roof over our heads, the lights on and food on the table. Another great way to turn our prison into opportunity is to attach a bigger meaning than a simple paycheck to what we do. When I worked more directly with the public at my day job, I focused on bringing as much joy and encouragement to everyone I came in contact with. Knowing I was doing more than earning a paycheck, I was blessing lives, made going to work a lot more enjoyable. This mentality is one that everyone who works with the public should adopt. Judging by some of the service I have received lately, it is one many choose not to. Viewed simply, you have to be there because you are getting paid. The customer has to be there because they need your good or service. Why not make it the most fun the interaction can be? It will be far more enjoyable for both of you.

Whether it is working out, or working, your mentality has a lot more to do with your situation than even the facts do. Look for the opportunity in every situation and your life will never be the same.

NO PERSON IS FREE

On a day in the United States where we celebrate becoming a country, it is important to remember the true source of freedom is far more personal. Our thoughts, our words, and our actions, that is what we have control over. I should say that is what we should have control over. In this country there is far more division than I can remember in my lifetime.

The problem exists due to many sacrificing their freedom of individual thought to that of the propaganda of a political party. We have seen people turn on friends and neighbors they formally got along with, even if they did disagree politically. It is time to take back that freedom.

OPENING A GIFT 🎁

Here is a thought I had inspired by bishop T.D. Jakes. I might have mentioned my sources are vast and varied. In a sermon he was giving, he said a line that struck me. I was reminded of this line the other day while pondering the meaning of life in the shower. That line was simply that people often do not open the gift because they do not like the wrapping.

To me, this means that often our greatest blessings grow from our greatest pains. In my own life, I know when I found myself at one of my lowest points, I met the woman who would, and continues to, change my life in ways I could never imagine. I do not think I could have learned, or more to the point appreciated, the gifts that she gave me without going through the pain I did. Many of my wounds in life were self-inflicted. To a point, I think we can all claim that. We look back and wish we would have spoke and acted different. In reflection we can see that sting of regret is often the catalyst to improved outlook and behavior.

There is a big difference between reading something in a self-improvement book and feeling the emotions of going through it. If we could look at our life from afar, I am sure none of us would choose painful experiences. However, those are what often lead us to the greatest blessings. Think about your health. Who thinks that they would like to put their body through months of soreness and stiffness? Nobody. Who would love to be in great shape with lots of flexibility and energy? Everyone.

I have heard this quote many times. It is so true in what we are discussing. Another place this shows up is in the struggle to break free from addiction. It is a hard and daily process. Everyone wants to be free of their addictions, but it can be too much for many to go through the long and difficult process. The gift is worth it, but the wrapping is not appealing.

You may not be fighting an addiction, or struggling to get in shape, but life has so many gifts that we overlook because the wrapping in which they are contained can appear as pain or struggle. One last important note. Many of us through away the gift after struggling throw the wrapping. Asking ourselves what is the gift in our pain can transform our life. It may be nothing other than being able to relate to, and help, others who have gone through the same pain. When you do so, you will discover what a great gift that is. It is one that could not be accomplished without the pain.

ALWAYS REMEMBER 🤔

How true is this statement? In everyone’s life, there have been moments that seem so dark we want to give up. It can feel like our life is over, that there is little hope. If we hang in there, things can turn around to a surprising degree. It can start with a Crack of light in the darkness, or dramatic like a sunrise.

The cliche that it is always darkest before the dawn rings true for a reason. Maybe it is the dark that allows us to appreciate the light more? Perhaps it encourages us to be more attentive to what we should be grateful for? Regardless of the reasons, we can experience some of our greatest moments after our darkest days.

Next time you find yourself in the bottom looking up, think of the cliche about it being darkest before the dawn. Clichés become Clichés because there is some truth to them. I’ll leave you with this quote from one of my favorite poets.  Think of yourself as that bird.