I love things that are simple. This is one of those things. When following any spiritual path, these 2 rules should apply. First, you obviously must begin. Dedication to a spiritual path does not need to involve some fancy ritual. It takes place inside of you. Sure, you could go to a secluded place in the woods to meditate, but that is not necessary. A commitment to a new spiritual path, or recommitmemt to a path, can just as easily happen while riding a city bus on the way to work. Neither one is more powerful than the other. The powercomes from the commitment in your heart.
Second, you must continue. When you truly dedicate yourself to a spiritual way of being, it is not a if/when proposition. You adhere to the principles of your path whether it is sunny or not. It does not matter if you are dealing with another spiritual person, or someone less-informed.You also continue even if that less-informed person is you. We all stumble. Being spiritual does not mean being perfect. It means being committed. Even if you are imperfect
Being truly enlightened means understanding that you will stray from the path and occasionally not live up to your standards. It means both giving yourself a little pain when you do, but also being able to forgive yourself and learn from it.
These 2 rules are very important on any journey. You must begin and you must continue.
Today is Monday. It is a tough day for a lot of people. One of the best things we can do is be kind to them. How can you be kind to someone today? Let’s share all the ways in which we can show love and generosity to others?
Here is a relationship secret that really shouldn’t be a secret at all. It is something that a lot of couples find very difficult to manage in today’s complex and connected world. That secret is to not share too much of your relationship online. It may be tempting to air out your dirty laundry like your favorite celebrity. Especially in the heat of the moment. You want everyone to know what they did to upset you so. Here is two problems with that. First, there are people who are just waiting to swoop in and take the person you love, even if you do not like them at the moment. Every episode of drama you air on social media puts a chink in your armor of love and gives them a little more ammunition to try and tear you two apart. You may not even know who these people are, maybe your partner doesn’t either. They are out there, rest assured.
The second one is even more certain. It makes you look foolish. You might be asking yourself how sharing something totally thoughtless your partner did can make you look foolish. There are actually two answers to that as well. You are the one who chose to be with them. If you are constantly belittling them, what does that say about your judge of character? We all know that couple that are forever breaking up and getting back together online. One day they are trying to convince the world how terrible they have been done wrong, the next day they are waxing poetically about the ‘forever love of their life’. Stop it. You look foolish. People are reading it and thinking “How can she go back to him?” or “I would never lower myself to being with a woman that treated me that way.” You are making your partner look bad and you are making yourself look bad.
That being said, you would certainly benefit by sharing your love for your partner. Sure, you may have to deal with some sarcastic comments from those who are either jealous, jaded or affection-challenged, but it is a small price to pay for the rewards you will get by sharing all the wonderful things about your partner and all the reasons you love them. What are those rewards you ask? Let us take a look at just a few of them.
In many ways you could flip the things we discussed earlier. For people who are looking to damage your relationship or steal your partner away from you, sharing how wonderful you think they are and how much you love them would serve as a great discouragement. They may search out easier prey. Second, you make both your partner and you look good. When you post what an amazing cake your partner made or the wonderful dinner they prepared for you, people will look and say things like, “That Margie is sure talented.” or “Look how good she treats her man.” A random post about how grateful you feel to have your partner, provided it is genuine, will accomplish much the same thing. People will read all the things you are grateful for in your wonderful partner and think highly of them. They will notice how appreciative you are, and think, “Boy I wish my partner appreciated me that much.” You will help both of you look better in the world’s eyes.
Relationships are not for the world at large and neither should your efforts. Although we have shown why that can be important, let us look at another important to share your pride and gratitude for your partner with the world. That is you increase the intimacy between you. Why? Who does not like to feel their partner is proud of them? Do you know what else feels good? When the wonderful things you say about your partner get back to them. I recall being at a jewelry store with Margie and one of the employees came up to tell her all of the wonderful things I say about her. I am sure she might have been hoping to sell us some more diamonds, but gave us an even greater gift. She showed my love that my affection for her is alive and well even when she is not around. Who wouldn’t want to hear their partner is telling everyone how much they love them? In turn, that increases trust and affection between the two of you.
You should feel proud and grateful for your relationship. If you don’t, there are bigger issues you may want to address. Follow the steps we have outlined here to make sure you take some of these old-fashioned values with you into the modern world of love.
We like to share secrets to amazing relationships on this site as well. This should be no surprise as relationships are one of the things that can have the greatest impact on your life. Nowhere is this more true than your romantic relationship. The romantic partner you choose in life can have a greater impact on the success or failure of your life than almost any other choice you make. How you take care of this relationship will make all of the difference.
The first order of business is to understand that the fitness of your relationship is very much like the fitness of your body. It is never ‘handled’. What would happen if you got into the best shape of your life and then stopped working out and started eating all of the junk food you could find? In no time flat, all of your efforts would be in vain. The same is true for your relationships. If you work to achieve a loving, caring and growth-minded relationship and then stop working at it, soon you will not have that relationship anymore.
Here is another ‘secret’. When you are first starting to workout, it is extremely hard. You must put in a lot of work upfront. It can be very difficult to develop a discipline to engage in physical activity on a regular basis. I heard a quote that said the heaviest weight at the gym is the front door. That is so true. Once you are at the gym, working out is a lot easier to do. Dedicating the time and getting to the gym is where the struggle is. The same when you are first working on growing your relationship. There is a lot to learn. There will be fights. Both of you will say and do the wrong things. You will forget to say and do the right things. Setting up and dedicating time and effort to work on your relationship can often be where the difficultly lies.
Here is some good news, both for fitness and relationships. Once you get into shape, it takes a lot less effort to stay there than it did to get there. Although, you must put in the effort just the same as we discussed above. In a relationship, once you learn how to develop a loving and healthy relationship with your partner, it is a lot easier to maintain and grow than it was to get there. Once again, you must put in the effort just the same. Just as you will continue to discover new things about health and fitness, you will do the same about relationships. You will also experience challenges in both. I cannot count the times I was on a roll at the gym and then got an injury or illness. It is hard to keep that discipline and often start over. Same in love. You will have a long period of love and romance when it seems nothing could come between your hearts. Then, a disagreement pops up out of nowhere.
It is important to learn from these. When you get injured at the gym, it might be form or perhaps a muscle that needs special attention. When there is a difficulty in a relationship, there may be some communication that needs to be cleaned up, or affection that needs to be redefined. Both of these situations, as humbling as they are, provide us an opportunity to come back stronger. We can make sure they happen less frequently and with less severity as time goes on. We can also walk away with additional knowledge we did not have before.
As a side note, this is not the post I sat down to write at all. Therefore, there will be more relationship secrets in the next post!
One of the most prevalent problems we have today is a lack of energy. It is not always physical energy. It can be emotional, spiritual or any other drain. People just feel burned out. Is that you? Certainly, considering all of the things that I am involved in, it is always something to be on the lookout for. It seems you are working hard just to meet up with your obligations and then life picks that time to give you a tough challenge.
Have you ever felt like you were close to having it all together when suddenly you find yourself catching a cold? Maybe you finally are starting to feel some inner peace and that is when your spouse has a personal meltdown? It can be even worse. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you can seem to be constantly working on keeping your head above water. You make it through a tough day at work. Your coworkers call in sick. There is more work for you because of that. Your boss is aggravated that the other employees decided to stay home and takes it out on the employee that didn’t. Namely, you. Then you get home barely making it through the day and your spouse has a meltdown. You snap at them because you have already had a tough day. After a minute you regret not treating them with compassion. Now you are not only stressed beyond breaking, you have created a new problem.
Here is where a great deal of this issue starts. We fight every battle that is in front of us. By the time we show up for the really important ones, we are often to tired and crumble at the first sign of struggle. That is why it is important to set boundaries and decide what is really important. You boss yells at you because other workers didn’t show up and they are in a bad mood. Is it fair? No. Does it suck? Yes. Is it really important in the long run? No. Do not waste your energy being upset about other people, which is something we cannot control anyway. This is the same for getting fired up listening to talk radio on the way home. I know a few people who listen to political or sports programs and come home full of rage. Why on earth would you do that? News flash – the athletes and politicians do not know or care about you. Your spouse does. Listen to some music that will help relieve the stress of the day and have you arriving at home full of love.
My day job is at the US Postal Service. Not only is there lots of stress there, but I work 55 hours a week. If I wasted my energy on every little thing at the office, I would come home drained and angry. Margie and I work at a bar on the weekend. If we played into every situation of drama and gossip, we would not only be wasting our time, we would be exhausted. My love for her, and my respect for both her and myself, is worth far too much for that.
How about you? What battles are you fighting that are draining you and not serving you? Could you set boundaries that would help you? Do you have a written list of what is your priority in life and what is important? How often do you review that list? Just a few minutes in the morning, or even in the middle of the day to recalibrate, would make a world of difference!
This is so true. In a world where people are mistakenly focused on material gain and other outward signs of success, it is important to remember where real change starts. If there is anything you wish to accomplish, you must start by becoming it. That may sound backwards to some of you, so allow me to explain.
Real change happens internally. If you do not change who you are inside, that change will usually not be long-lasting. That is why so many who won the lottery end up broke. They have not changed to someone who is comfortable with having a lot of wealth.
You must work on changing your mentality first. If you want to be fit, you must become a person who likes, and is dedicated to fitness. You want to eat healthy? You must become someone who has a better relationship with food. Someone who understands that you should eat to live and not live to eat. That healthy can be both delicious and fun!
Here is the tricky bit. When you start changing your mentality, you would think everyone would be behind you. Especially, those closest to you. Often, this is not the case. It can be a fear, be that conscious or not, that once you level up you will leave them behind. Sometimes that might have to be the case. When you are working on sobriety, you can’t hang around with addicts anymore. Maybe they just do not possess the drive to improve their lives? A little encouragement and reassurance can go a long way here.
In the end, you might be doing it alone. Quite often, self-improvement is just that – improvement by yourself. Those closest to you might be your most difficult test. Do not stop them from allowing you to bloom!
Quick side note. Be careful not to judge them either. Many people lack either the knowledge or the discipline to improve their lives. Some of the best ways we can help this is to offer encouragement and a positive example of what can be done! It may just be your success that will change their life!
I belong to a lot of fitness pages online. They serve a great purpose. People sharing their journeys of accomplishing their goals. Emotional and encouraging support for one another. As well as knowledge in regards to the world of health and fitness
One of the things they do is have a day for people to show off the hard work they have put in. In other words, to literally flex their muscles. To me, fitness is a great accomplishment. It shows a discipline that only hard work can accomplish. It involves sacrifice, strong will and dedication. As Zig Ziglar said, “You can’t pay anyone to do your push-ups for you.”
There are some people online who think that wealth and material gain are the ultimate flex. If done ethically, this can be a great accomplishment to be proud of as well. It can show intelligence, hard work and saving. It is still, however, not the ultimate flex.
This, my friends, is the ultimate flex. Making lives better. Inspiring others and giving them a sense of hope and encouragement. In a world that seems to be telling us that we are not enough, how valuable is it to hear what a difference you make?
One of the most powerful ways to change the world is to just be kind. I realize at first blush this may sound new-age, or even weak to many of you. Far from it. In a world often filled with insults, sarcasm and negativity, how brave is it to stand up and encourage and genuinely compliment someone?
By changing lives and inspiring others to become the best versions of themselves, we are not only doing good by those souls, but by the world at large. By not only encouraging others to be all they can be, but giving them space and permission to be so! You want to impress the world? Show us how many people you have positively impacted. How many lives have you changed for the better?
There are so many addictions out there. I do my best to make sure I am not addicted to too many things. I even give up caffeine 1 month a year. For an author that also works 60 hours a week, that’s kind of a big deal.
I confess to being addicted to making feel people feel good. Nothing lights me up more than knowing I made someone else’s life better! I’m addicted to the desire to make the world a better place. When my ears are filled with negative news, as happens to many of us, my mind immediately asks,”How can I do something to make the world better. “
That leads us to avoiding the addictionmentioned in the photo above – destination addiction! The thought that you will be happy ‘when’. When certain goals are achieved. When the weight is lost. When the addiction is overcome. We should be as addicted to the journey. Feeling the joy of life as it happens.
We spend 80% of lifeon the journey. Why only be happy 20% of the time?Sure, you can’t run a marathon, but did you notice you don’t get out of wind walking up a flight of stairs? You don’t fit in your favorite jeans, but maybe there is a little more room in your current ones?
One of the best examples to me is the brave people overcoming addiction. They are a great reminder that victory happens one day at a time. Every day is a new battle, but that means every day is a new chance at victory! Celebrate the journey. Celebrate the fact you have made it one more day. Do not become addicted to the destination!
I am an optimist. That should not surprise many of you. Someone who explores the secrets behind an amazing life is bound to be one. What I find interesting is what many people assume that means.
Let us begin by discussing what it doesnot mean. Many people associate optimism with some sort of Pollyana. As if we are refusing to acknowledge that problems in life exist. That is not optimism, that is denial. Optimism is not chanting happy sounding mantras that we have no emotional attachment to. That is not what true optimism is about. When most people think of an optimistic person, they often associate it with some sort of weakness or Naivete. Again, both not optimism.
What really optimism encompasses, is a belief that things will eventually work out in your favor. That does not mean denying challenges exist, but asking ourselves what they are trying to teach us, and how we can use them to our advantage. It is being honest that things may not be looking the best right now, but we are growing in strength, knowledge and character. This takes some amount of bravery and a great deal of faith. It is a strong person who can keep their eyes on the distant shore, even in the middle of a tempest. Life will provide storms. When you have an optimistic attitude, you do not pretend it is not raining. You summon your emotional fortitude and decide the best way to navigate that storm. You do so with firm belief you will not only make it through the storm, but be better off for it.
Keeping an optimistic attitude will go a great way to determining the actions we will take and the opportunities we will feel confident to take advantage of. It takes no real strength to be a pessimist. Even those who claim they are ‘realists’ are selling themselves short. Yes, life might not always turn out like we wish, or in the time we desire. Without a firm belief that good things will happen, we are a lot less likely to put ourselves out there and to claim all of the good fortune that we deserve.
Last post I discussed taking my aunt back to her old neighborhood. The thought was she would be happy to see some of the old stores and it would give her a special feeling of happiness. That turned out to be only partly true.
Before we get into that, I should explain this neighborhood. I used to do a radio show there many years ago. I would pick up my aunt before and we would leave her apartment to walk the unique shops. At that time there was an independent creatednewspaper handed out by hippies in dreadlocks. Now it is a glossy magazine called Shepherd Express.
We began by stopping by my aunt’s favorite Chinese restaurant. It soon became apparent that my aunt’s hearing was not what it used to be. I was hoping to reflect more with her and hear her thoughts on what she remembered. Instead, she seemed to exclude herself from most conversations. When we attempted to converse with her, most times her reply was a dismissive “oh yes. ” Even though it was abundantly clear she had not heard what we were discussing.
At the coffee shop, the music was a little too loud to allow much communication even though we were sitting right next to each other. It was also all of the walking she could handle for the day. Any hopes of reliving the actions of days gone by quickly faded.
After leaving my aunt that evening, it really hit me that the memory of exploring with my aunt would forever be that – a memory. There had been countless times both of us had talked about doing it, but as happens, life got in the way. Now, she was no longer physically capable of doing it.
This may seem like a melancholy post. In some ways it is, but it has a message. If there are things you want to experience, do them now! Do not let life get in the way. If there is conversations you want to have with loved ones, even if it is reminiscing about going into occult shops and seeing all the wild stuff they have, do it now. You never know what, or when, time will steal the opportunity from you.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 