I saw this on a friend’s page and thought, “That was nice of them to share. ” Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you which friend it was. This message did bring something to mind. It was posted on my friend’s social media page. It was a wish for all of their friends to see, not just me.
As I thought how nice and refreshing it was to read something pleasant, with no ulterior motives behind it, I wondered why this doesn’t happen more often in real life. How come we do not share genuine messages with heartfelt encouragement with more people. “Have a good day.” not withstanding, how many other encouraging greetings do we offer?
What can be fun about this, is that it is an area we can be creative in. One of my favorites is “Drive careful and stay healthy.” I’m going to make an effort to share more specific greetings with people that encourage and uplift. I would love to hear some of yours.
Here is something that can make a dramatic difference in your life. Waking up in a good mood. Have you ever given that much thought? Has it ever occurred to you that you have a choice as to what kind of mood you do wake up in? I wake up at 4am six days a week. Margie is always amazed that even on very little sleep I tend to wake up in a good mood. It wasn’t always this way and yes, there is a secret to it. Before I share what that secret is, ask yourself what waking up in a good mood could do for you? Waking up in a determined state instead of reacting to what the world throws at you. Deciding your own emotional state instead of leaving it up to the fate of others or outside circumstances.
This will allow you to do a great many things you would not be able to if you did not control your own emotional state. You will decrease your stress levels and the hormones related to it. This can minimize your risk for heart attacks and high blood pressure. That is pretty important. You will also be less reactive. When we are already stressed, even the smallest things can set us off. When we face a challenge beginning in a good emotional state, we are better equipped to make intelligent decisions. We will also be less likely to be left with consequences we will regret. Less stressed and generally more full of joy means our immune systems will be stronger. That means less colds and flu. To the very obvious, life is a lot more enjoyable.
By now you should be sold on the benefits of waking up in a good mood, but how do you do it? It is easier than you think and not complicated at all. It starts the night before. What you think of the last five minutes before sleep is what your subconscious mind will focus on while you are sleeping. If you go to sleep dreading the alarm the next morning, or fretting over all the problems you had that day, that focus will only cause those situations to grow. Give yourself a break and focus on what you have to be grateful for. It could be the fact you have a place to sleep. It could be the person next to you or the cat or dog at the end of the bed. Instead of dreading going to work, be thankful you are employed. Many are not. This is why reading something inspiring before bed helps. If you keep a gratitude journal, reviewing it before bed makes it that much more powerful.
When you do wake up, even if you have very little time to yourself, you can still set yourself up for success. Did I mention that I wake up at 4am? I often have very little time to get ready and get to work on time. The main reason is that I have a hard time leaving a warm bed with a hot lady inside of it. Instead of being upset I have to do that, I am grateful I have that. Then, near my bed and all of the places I am sure to go in the morning, such as the coffee maker, I have reminders of things that I am grateful for or that bring me joy. Pictures of loved ones or fun vacations. A well-placed inspirational quote can help your focus. Even reading your favorite motivational and inspirational blog, Secret2anamazinglife.com, can start your day out right. A little bit of light physical movement to get the heart pumping helps. If you have a mantra or an inspiring saying you enjoy? Try repeating it to yourself as you get ready. Place inspiring quotes or images on the bathroom mirror to look at while you brush your teeth.
These are but some of the ways that you can assure you wake up ready to take on the world and be a blessing to those around you. I would love to hear any tips you can offer on how to start your day off filled with joy and inner peace.
This week, create your own luck. “Sounds great Neil, but how do I do that?” you might be wondering. In a word – prepare! It amazes me when people tell me how lucky I am. “You are lucky to have so many people follow your blog.” They say. What they do not see is the time and effort put in on top of working 56 hours a week at my day job and working as a DJ on the weekends. “You are so lucky you do not get sick more often.” Those who say this do not talk about eating healthy, working out or making sure to take my vitamins. My favorite is when people tell me how lucky Margie and I are that we have a great relationship. Am I fortunate and blessed to have such a beautiful and loving lady in my life? Absolutely! Do all of our days and plans go smoothly? Not hardly. We both get sick, tired and on each other’s last nerve on occasion. We have breakdowns in our communication. We also work our butts off to address these things. There are always threats looking for that chink in the armor of love. It could be jealous people. It could be people who are spiteful. Even when we do figure things out, there is the threat of taking things for granted or falling victim to familiarity. That is why we are constantly working to keep things fun, fresh and spicy.
Do you want to create more luck in your life? All you have to do is work harder. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ enough to write and publish 3 books? It will cost you many sleepless nights, lots of frustration and plenty of hard work. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ not to get the sickness that seems to be going around the office? You will have to work on staying in shape, watching your diet and perhaps taking a little extra vitamin C. Do you want to be ‘lucky’ in love? Let me tell you up front, you will have to work at it. Learn the art of active listening. Learn to apologize when you are wrong. Learn how to express your emotions properly and with thought for the other person’s feelings. Even before you get into a relationship, you can increase your chances of being ‘lucky’ when you find the one if you spend time working on yourself. The better version of yourself you bring to a relationship, the greater the chances are it will be ‘lucky’.
The formula may seem obvious, but it cannot be overstated. Like Thomas Jefferson said, the harder you work, the more luck you will have. What is important in your life? What area do you feel you would like to experience more ‘luck’ in? Whatever that area is, start to increase the amount of effort you put into it. You will find the amount of luck that seems to find you will only increase.
The title of this post, “That was a lifetime ago.” is a phrase that my mother and I utter to each other more often as the years go by. As we walk, or sometimes sit for coffee, we recall places we used to go and people we used to know. Quite often both of us feel like it was an entirely different lifetime. Have you ever felt this way? That activities that you used to engage in, or perhaps the people you used to engage in them with have disappeared from your life. In the rapid pace of change that the world now faces, entire industries can be gone and replaced by something else seemingly overnight. As we get older, the pace of change seems to quicken. Not sure why that is. Perhaps it is because we are more aware of the fleeting nature of life? It could be that we have experienced more and the more knowledge we accumulate, the more things seem to change.
Above is a spot in a local coffee shop. The table on the left is where a good portion of my first two books, and even a bit of my third, were written. This particular location is moving. Not that big of a deal. Still, the sentimental part of me had to take in this place one last time. I have had so many memories there. Margie, my mother and I stopped for one last coffee. Margie actually had an iced cherry chai. We reflected on many of the fun times we shared there and looked around at everything that was packed in to boxes ready to go.
The staff at this location have become friends of ours. Sam, who discussed how to make a cream sauce with Margie, is always amazing. Dakota has returned after moving abroad. Even the lady we just meant, Jen, was very kind and helpful. We are hopeful that they all we be at the new location. One nice thing is that we were able to have a heads up that this place would be closing. That way we could plan one more day there. As we all know, this is not always the case. People and places can leave our lives without warning. We are left with either regret or a longing for one more time. One way in which you can not only decrease the feelings of regret and loss, but enjoy the present more is to become more present. I mentioned we were given warning that this location was closing, but what if we had not? Had we always focused on being present and fully appreciating the amazing staff, decor and overall ambience of the place, we would be bummed they were leaving, but satisfied we made the most of our time there.
As true as this is of coffee shops, restaurants and other such places, it is even more true of people. When someone leaves our life, for whatever reason, it is not some grand thing we wish we could do with them. It is the mundane. Sharing one more laugh, one more cup of coffee. Maybe even hearing that story they told us a million times just one more time. It is with a great deal of irony that the things that annoy us can be the things we miss most about someone when they are gone.
This is why it is so vital we live in the present moment. Why we learn to appreciate every detail of the life we live. It is not some cliche self-improvement hack. It is a way of living. The Latin phrase, Mors certa, hora incerta, meaning “Death is certain, the hour uncertain.” reminds us that the end of anything could be right around the corner. The time to enjoy life, and all of the people and coffee shops in it, is now. Soak it all in. If you treat each day as the last you might do something, one day you will be right and you will be glad you did.
One thing that drives me slightly more crazy than I already am is the laziness in which we communicate these days. It is easier to understand how that can be helpful is texting or messaging someone. What is sad is when it starts to filter into real life conversation. Looking at the examples above can be helpful. Think of someone saying them to you. Can you imagine the difference in how they would make you feel?
Would you agree that to a great extent, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationships? Get in a fight with your spouse in the morning and how does your workday go? Have an argument with a coworker and what kind of mood do you come home in? The cause of most discord in relationships is communication. Either a lack of it, or the method in which it is delivered. Even if you are looking to take your relationship to the next level, mastering your communication is the key. Telling your spouse they “Look good” is nice. Saying something like, “The effort you put into that outfit really highlights your already attractive features.” creates a completely different feeling.
If you do not know how to communicate with skill, there are a million resources to help you in that area. Books on how to communicate. Reading poetry that makes you feel a certain way and thinking of how to work it into your speaking. Even reading greeting cards can help. Think about it. You pay $7 or more to deliver a folded piece of paper with often only a line or two. To get you to spend that kind of money those words have to be impactful. Want to be more romantic? Watch romantic movies, read romantic books and do so with the intent to learn. Want to learn how to genuine compliment someone? How about a boss or client?
Do you think this is not so important? Remember, people may forget what you say to them, but they will never forget how you make them feel. People are driven by emotion and they back up that emotion using logic. That is why your words must illicit a powerful emotional response. More to the point, a positive one. People give their attention, their time and their business and money to those who can make them feel important, valued and happy. You can do that by not sounding like a teenager sending a text. Do not be lazy with your communication. Learning how to properly communicate and convey your emotions will transform your life.
I have been writing this post for a week now. That is to say I had the title and idea for a week, but I wanted to wait until I had the time to really sit down and share this with you. What do we mean by hidden medicine? The idea came to me while listening to a song with that very title by the band Red Thunder. If you get a chance, look it up on YouTube. What is the ‘hidden medicine’ and where to we find it? We find it inside ourselves. What is the hidden medicine we all have inside of us? It is many different things. We will touch on a few of them today. If I have left off your favorite one, please feel free to let me know in the comments below.
Inside each one of us, there is a vast storehouse of potential that goes unused. That is because it is never explained or taught to us. Schools are more about teaching us what to remember than how to use what is inside of us. Our parents and teachers were most likely never told about this great power either. By the end of this post, you will know what your hidden medicine is and how to use it. Some of this medicine helps heal you physically, some mentally, some emotionally and some spiritually. A lot of it will help in all areas. Let us get started with our hidden medicine and begin healing ourselves.
Our first hidden medicine is gratitude. If you have even followed this site for a short time, you know how much we promote gratitude. This is not by accident or because it is trendy. No, gratitude has a great deal of power. As you can see in the picture above, it can heal a lot of things in your life. If you were to do only one thing to improve your life, I would suggest developing an attitude of gratitude. Suffering from fear or anxiety? Gratitude can help you heal that. If you are feeling full of lack, if the outlook of your life looks grim or you feel that the world is out to get you, gratitude can help heal that. You will start to see magic in everyday life. You will realize what truly matters and how lucky you are no matter how contrary those statements may sound at the moment.
The next hidden medicine is helping others or altruism. There is nothing that will make you forget your problems, or help you feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart quicker than helping someone else. If you feel that your problems feel overwhelming, reach out to help someone else. Not only will you feel good for doing something good and making the world a brighter place for that individual, but your own problems might seem a little easier to tackle after that. Helping others can make us realize how important and valuable we are. It can help us to realize what a difference one person can make and remind us that person is us!
To avoid making this too long and losing any of you, we are going to lump some of the last hidden medicines together. We will put them under the umbrella of ‘self-care’. Is self-care really a hidden medicine? You bet it is! This can mean so many different things for each of us. Some of us like being in the garden and working with plants. Some like going for walks in nature. It could be meditation, coffee with a friend, a good workout or a glass a wine and a good book.
Here is the medicinal quality of all of these items. They will affect our emotional state. They will infuse our spirit with hope, joy and lots of other positive emotions. They will force us to live in and learn to love the moment. This will help reduce stress and all of the not so pleasant side-effects that comes with. Being happier, healthier and less stress can also help heal our relationships with others. Why is that important? The worst emotion to feel at a funeral is not loss, it is regret. Knowing you should have said or done something differently. Knowing you could have acted better. What would be worse is if the funeral was your own and you wasted a good portion of your life sick, stressed and overwhelmed. Use your hidden medicines today before it is too late. Again, if you would like to add more please share in the comments below.
Who among us does not have a to-do list? There are things like taking out the garbage, doing the dishes and laundry. In all the craziness, how many of us add ourself on the list of things to take care of. This made sound cliche, but if you do not take care of yourself you will not be able to take care of anything else.
Think of when you have a schedule full of events. Kids soccer practice, dinner with friends getting an oil change or whatever it is you have planned. Suddenly, you get the flu. All your plans come to a crashing halt. You would think the one common denominator in all of our to-do activities (you) would be something we would put at the top of the list. Most of us, however, keep self-care as an item we will do if we have ‘extra time’. How many of us have any of that?
Today, make sure you take care of yourself so you can take care of everything you need.
We always like to post encouragement on Wednesday. We are going to ask two questions of ourselves today. Feel free to share your answers in the comments below if you would like to add to the encouragement.
The first question is who are you proud of today? Is there someone you feel good above and beyond? Someone who makes your life better by what they do? Let them know and spread a little cheer.
The second question is often more difficult. Why are you proud of yourself? What amazing things have you done? How do you make the world a better place?
This should be everyone’s goal. We all have those people in our social media circle we think would be amazing friends, and once we get them we discover they are a dark cloud to every bit of sunshine. Then we face the daunting task of not only avoiding being sucked into their tar pit of negativity, but how we can skillfully remove them from our associationwith the minimal amount of drama.
A better course of action would be to work on our own positivity. “But Neil, it is they who are negative.” I can hear many of you saying. That very well might be true, but are you radiating positivity at your maximum amount? Do you fall victim to lowering yourself to arguing with those sunshine-challenged souls? If you do, you have already lost.
Just like the quote above says, arguing in and of itself, is negative. Therefore, if you are engaged in it, you are sacrificingyour positivity. Instead, shine so bright and refuse to engage in their banter. It will not only frustrate them, which is a nice added bonus, it will also make them search for an easier target to commiserate with. We have all heard the saying “Misery loves company.” Well, if you refuse to be company, Misery will not love you so much.
The more positive your disposition, the more likely you are to attract like-minded people. Can you think of examples of this in your own life?
I want to touch on this quote attributed to Crazy Horse, although nobody is 100% sure. A well-meaning, but rather ignorant, coworker of mine informed me this was proof that Native Americans were violent and only thought about death. The truth is far different.
Many of you know that I subscribe to the Stoic philosophy. This statement fits right in with that. It is not a preoccupation with death, but rather an acknowledgement of it. Death is what makes life so valuable. It could come on any day at any time. That is not to sound scary, but it should give us a sense of urgency.
That is what the quote is about. When going into battle this quote was said. The men knew they would face a good chance of not making it back to their families. They wanted to make sure “it was a good day to die.” Meaning they had not left anything undone. Their family, and this closest to them, knew how much they were loved. They had done their best to live a life they were proud of and would be happy to be remembered for.
We do not have to be facing battle. It can be heading to the office. This quote is just as important. Have you loved life in such a way that if it were to end today you would have no regret? Is there something you have not done? Someoneyou should tell them how much you care? Living as the best version of ourselves makes any day a good day to die.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 