Month: December 2024

HAPPY? FIRST DAY OF WINTER ❄️

Today is the first day of winter. Where I live winter lasts about 9 months. (a slight exaggeration) Personally, I do not do good with winter. If there were a poster for Seasonal Affective Disorder, it would have my picture on. This is made even more challenging as I write a motivational website. In my writings, I advocate giving yourself something to look forward to. This is why I normally plan a vacation around February. That is right around when cabin fever starts to set in and I am moments away from appearing on one of those crime shows. “Author goes crazy and commits terrible crime.” Knowing me it would be breaking into a puppy mill and setting all of the animals free or breaking into an adult toy store and filling all of the blow up dolls with helium and setting them free. I might want to save that last idea. This year, I bought a car and am saving for my wedding so there will be no vacation.

 

As I sit enjoying the day today, focus will be very important. Although this does begins months of gloom and cold, it is technically the shortest day of the year. That means it will begin to stay lighter longer each day after. My new car certainly takes a great deal of stress out of the equation and is always warm when I get it. This will make the season a little brighter. I will be working on my fourth book which should provide me a great distraction.

For my friends living in colder climates that do not enjoy such things, what secrets do you use to make it through the winter months? To me a white Christmas should involve a white sand beach. Curious as to what everyone does when the beach is not an option?

TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WHO DIED 💀

As most of you know, I had open-heart surgery in 2022 and had a brief flirtation with death. Grateful it was only brief, but it could have been permanent. At that point, there wasn’t much i could do. The time before the surgery was a different story

I cannot assume that you have read my book, The Beat Goes On. That is the whole story of my surgery and life after death. Rather entertaining read if I say so myself. The time from when I was told I need surgery to the actual surgery itself was 2 months. That is a long time when it comes to anxiety, but a quite short time when it comes to accomplishing everything you want to do before you die.

Sitting next to this lovely lady in the movie theater, this became abundantly clear. What if I didn’t make it through surgery? What if, in these 2 months, I had to show her how much I care? How do you give someone a lifetime of love in 2 months? How do you celebrate your last Thanksgiving? Your last Christmas or ring in what could be your last New Year? You start to realize how fleeting life can be!

In a world of smart phones, watches and even rings, I think the device that best demonstrates what we are talking about here is the hourglass. The sand always goes from the top to the bottom. It slowly runs out, never going backwards. That is much like our life. It is constantly getting less and less. You will have less of it by the time you finish reading this post!

Now imagine you could not see how much sand is left in the top of the hourglass. You just new it was less and less by the second. Oh, you could guess based on the size of the hourglass, the thickness of the sand and other factors. What you would end up with us speculation at best. It could be a large hourglass with only a few grains of sand left. It could be a small hourglass packed with sand.

Our life is like that. We don’t know how much sand is left in our hourglass. All we know is that it is constantly running out. We can affect the rate to a certain degree by staying safe and healthy, but there are still factors beyond our control.

All of this to say is you don’t have time! Chase that dream now. Tell that person you love them now. As a person who had to stare down the possibility of death, and briefly experience it, let me assure you life is shorter than you think.

WANT A GREAT RELATIONSHIP? SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE!

I’m not sure if you have read the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, but you definitely should. In a nutshell, it explains how different people give and receive love in different ways. Some, like myself, use words and verbal communication to express love. Some, like my lovely lady, use physical intimacy. This can be a hug, a kiss or even holding your hand. The crazy thing is people can give love in one language and receive love in another. If that isn’t confusing enough, the Languages can change throughout life!

Why is learning these love Languages so important? Here’s why. You can be showing love the best way you know how and your partner could feel like you are not showing any love at all. Do you think that could end up causing some issues between the two of you? That is why learning your partners love language is vital to a successful relationship.

Equally important is to know your love language. What makes you feel loved? Is it someone giving you time? How about giving you a hug? Maybe a meaningful gift? Doing an act of service for you? If you are thinking, “Hey, those all sound pretty good!” You are not alone. Most people can feel love in a few categories but are usually dominant in one or two. Want to find out what your love language is? How about your partner‘s? There is a fun quiz you can take together or separately in the back of the book.

When you know your partner’s love language, it is important to use that language to communicate. They will receive your love a lot more and you will be a lot less stressed. Once you know your love language you can convey that to your partner and they can feel more effective at conveying love to you. That will have them feeling a lot less stressed as well. Two people who are less stressed in a relationship with each other? That is a recipe for success!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 😃

Today is the day of the week when we have something to uplift each other. We are going to switch it up slightly. I am going to share the main thing that uplifts me on the site. That thing is engaging with all of you. Seeing the over 200 countries that have viewed this site, and hearing how and what people think has really filled my heart with gratitude. I always do my best to respond to each comment anyone leaves. In a busy world it takes time and energy to sit down and share your thoughts. That fact that these posts are not only read, but someone cared enough to share their thoughts is the greatest gift.

A special ‘Thank you’ to all of you who take the time out of your busy lives to read what we share here. It is my sincerest hope that I am of service to you in some way. Special gratitude for those of you who engage with us. I enjoy meeting as many virtual friends as I can. Whether you are down the block or across the globe, I consider you a friend and a fellow adventurer on the path to an amazing life. I wish all of our readers a healthy and happy holiday season and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.

AND NOW…A PERSONAL EXAMPLE 🙄

A few posts back we talked about how your mindset can turn a hell into a heaven and the other way around. It would seem that life sought to provide me a personal example. My 2024 Toyota Rav 4 already has a bad sensor that needed to be replaced. They informed me when I made the appointment it would take roughly 30 minutes and I could wait. So, after my 10 hour work day I made my way to the dealer. Upon arrival, I was told it would now be a 2 hour affair as they had to check other parts as well.

A few things come to mind here. Of course after a 10 hour workday I could easily be irritated about having to wait 4 times as long as I was told. I could have brought a book or some other form of entertainment. I could have arranged a ride to go home and come back when it was done. All of this would be legitimate to think and feel. It would also lead to an unhappy and stressful evening.

Instead, I am going to look at and use this time constructively. I shall avail myself to the available coffee and snacks. I will use my cell phone to write this very blog you are reading now. Most importantly, I shall focus on the fact that I am so grateful to have the vehicle I do.

Both of these sets of facts are true. They both also come with an entirely different set of feelings. Would it be better if I had my laptop? Sure. It is far easier to write on that. Am I grateful that I can still write on my phone? Absolutely!

Life is full of choices. One of the most important is what we choose to focus on. As you can see, the difference can be between feeling stressed and feeling grateful. That may not seem like a big deal in the course of an evening. If you put enough of those evenings together, it is the difference between a negative and stressful life, or one where you choose to focus on gratitude and opportunities.

MAKE HELL A HEAVEN 👼

When I grabbed this quote, I liked many things about it. It is very close to what we discussed a few posts ago how your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time. Before we get into the actual quote, I have to share something about it. What made me laugh after further inspection was where this quote came from. When I was a senior in high school, I did not do well at English class. As mentioned in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, my teacher even told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” At the time it was a fair assessment. Three books and over twenty five hundred blog posts later, maybe not so much. One of the reasons the teacher thought this way is my lack of appreciation of classic literature. When I read something, I like to be able to enjoy it and not search for what it is supposed to mean. Give me the story straight I say. The story that stands out the most in this regard? You guessed it, Paradise Lost. The very story today’s quote comes from.

Now that we have had some humorous back story, let us look at the quote itself. The very first part I find intriguing. “The mind is its own place…” How many of us stop and think of the mind that way? Many things only exist in the mind. Fear is a great example. It is created by, and exists solely in the mind. Many of the stresses in our lives reside between our own two ears. The mind has its own dialogue. As Mr. Milton goes on to explain, “…and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” What this means to me is that the mind we bring to a situation goes a long way to determine the quality of the situation.

This is the reason that you can see two people in exactly the same situation, but one is happy and one is miserable. One place I see this a lot is at the gym. Some people working out there look miserable. Some are lifting weights with smiles on their faces. If you stopped and focused on everything you have to do to get to the gym and get a workout, coupled with how sore you might feel after, it would be a pretty miserable experience. You also wouldn’t show up that often, or for that long. If you were to change that focus and realize that every rep of weights and every step of cardio are getting you that much closer to being the healthy person you are working to become, you would be motivated to keep pushing on.

This holds true in any situation in life. At a funeral for example. We can think about the regret of moments lost or never pursued. It will expand the pain and make the feelings of hurt and loss that much greater. We could also focus on the fond memories we have with the dearly departed and ponder ways in which we will honor their memory. This may very well help ease the pain and may even see a smile cross our face as we think about a silly or happy memory.

Switching focus is a great way to control what kind of place the mind is, a heaven or a hell. When I find myself in particularly trying situations, I ask how I can use that to serve others. This obviously does not change my circumstances, but it certainly changes the person I bring to them. Finding ways to bring happiness and gratitude to any situation can turn a hell into a heaven. I would love to hear your secrets for making your mind a positive place to be.

CELEBRATE THE REASON 🍾

It is my sincere wish that everyone reading these posts on this website not only enjoy them, but that I am able to be of service to you as well. Above is one of the main reasons why. Today we celebrate the birth of my beautiful lady, Margie. Having the right life partner can make all of the difference. Someone who matches your goals and drive is key to living an amazing life. When I look back to the person I was ten years ago verses the person I am since we met, the difference is night and day.

We are currently on the march towards having 1000 days straight of new content. This would not be possible without the support of this lovely lady. From encouraging me to share ideas, helping me make it through my heart surgery and even making sure that I have delicious meals to keep me going. Without her love and support behind the scenes, there is some serious doubt we would be looking at almost 900 days in a row on this site. If you enjoy my YouTube channel, Neil Panosian, she is behind the camera in almost every video.

She may not get enough public credit for the role she plays in my content, but she certainly earns it in private. This run of consecutive days of content began shortly after my brief flirtation with death. That was one of the most challenging periods of my life. Recently, I have lost my last living grandparent at the age of 96. Through it all, Margie has been right there by my side. I couldn’t ask for a better friend, lover and person to share the rest of my life with. Please join me in wishing the beautiful, loving woman above a very happy and healthy birthday. I know wishes from around the globe would put a smile on her face.

MAKE IT AN ADVENTURE!

I thought this a humorous little picture, but as with many things, I saw the opportunity to use it as a self-improvement tool as well. For many of us, there are days at work that seem rather trying. You work 12 hours only to find the clock has only moved 3 hours. It can feel like you worked all week but find out it is only Wednesday. Even if you love your job, there are days you would like to escape. That is where this funny quote seems to give me an idea.

At my day job, we have some interesting characters to say the least. One gentleman, who has since moved on, had a unique take on making the day more enjoyable. When I asked him how he does it every day, I expected the usual sarcastic response. Instead, his eyes lit up as if he had been waiting for someone to ask him that very question. “I think of my work vehicle as the Bat Mobile and I am Batman.” Not quite what I expected, but you could tell he was passionate and excited. It got him through the day.

Imagination is a very powerful tool. As I was sweating with my new trainer, I explained that in my head we were having this workout on the beach drinking out of coconuts. Recently it was several degrees below freezing here. It takes a good imagination to think you are on the beach, but with a little help you can do it. Put on some fun tropical music. Have a diffuser with some scents of pineapple, vanilla or coconut. Look at pictures of tropical locations you have visited, or want to visit. All of these things can help transport ourselves to another location.

Next time you find yourself in a situation that you would rather not be in, remind yourself that there is no law of physics or biology that states your mind and body have to be in the same place at the same time! Close your eyes and transport yourself far away.

SURVIVAL GUIDE 📖

This has been something I have been sharing for even longer than the two decades I have been working in the self-improvement industry. What you go through will often be painful. You may doubt that you will ever make it through. When you do, it may very well become your greatest tool, and your greatest gift to others. Sharing your story, including mistakes you made and hurt you felt, can be what saves the life of another. So many of us can feel alone when we are going through our struggles. Hearing a story of someone else who has went through the same struggle can help give us hope and the will to power through. At the very least, it will help us understand that we are not alone.

It would be foolish to think that going through a painful experience would be anything less than devastating. We will hurt, we will suffer. We may even doubt that we will make it through. If we can somehow keep in the back of our minds that we will one day use it to help someone who feels just like we do now, that may give us the strength we need to make it through.

For those of you who have already made it through your pain, or maybe are currently working through it, please share your story. It doesn’t matter if you are still struggling. It is actually is better if you are. It will help you better relate to and reach other souls who are in pain. In doing so, you may find the healing that otherwise seemed out of reach. No matter what your struggle is, no matter where you are in your healing, someone out there needs to hear your story.

THE RENT YOU PAY 💶

This quote really makes you think. We take for granted the space we occupy here on earth. We actually are just renting it. In time we will pass on and leave that space for someone else. This is not just in reference to our house or apartment. No, it is our career, the space we occupy in the hearts of our friends and family. There is the role we play in the community. If we stop and ponder, we need to pay for that rent. That payment, as Muhammad Ali so eloquently put it, is the service we give to others.

It has been my experience that the greater amount of service we provide for others, the greater the demand for our presence. We become more valuable and significant by serving others. This may seem counter-intuitive, but if you think about it I am sure you will find it to be true. If you wish to become more important, if you wish to command a greater amount of influence, if you want a larger social circle, all you have to do is be of greater service to your fellow humans.

How about you? What do you do to pay your rent here on earth? How to you serve others?