Month: October 2024

SCARY CONSEQUENCES 😨

I want to begin this post with a quote from my favorite distracted genius. “If I keep temporarily eating this junk, I’m going to permanently stay fat.” Meaning, if you just eat that one doughnut because they were free in the break room, or have ice cream because you are out with friends and they are having it. These temporary indulgences can have lasting results. I am not saying that going out for ice cream every now and again is a bad thing. I do it myself. What I am saying is that if you have too many of these moments, you will end up with permanent bad results. If you only eat a doughnut when they are in the break room, what happens if they are in there for 3 days this week? If you only go out for ice cream if a friend is going, what happens if several friends go day after day? What if both of these events happen in the same day?

Even having a snack size bag of Doritos has 260 calories. If you have 4 bags a week, that is over 1000 extra calories. See how long it takes running on the treadmill to burn 1000 calories. I can tell you it is a few seconds longer than forever. Eating that little bag doesn’t seem like much, but as you can see if you keep doing this behavior, it will result in some terrible results. That is scary.

Here is a fact to ponder. This is not only true of food. Think of mindless scrolling on your phone. Well, I am only going to watch a few reels. Suddenly, you have spent a half an hour on mindless nonsense. That may not seem like a big deal, but how many times do you do this during a day? Even once a day adds up to 3 hours a week. Meanwhile, our houses are a mess, we haven’t meal prepped and the dog needs to be walked. What do we say? “If only I had more time.” You don’t consider that few minutes of harmless scrolling that bad. Can you imagine what you would do with an extra 3 to 6 hours a week? Even if all you did was get extra sleep, you would still come out ahead. Whether it is a few calories in a bag of Doritos, or a few minutes on reels, take the advice from my beautiful Margie. If you keep doing these temporary behaviors, you will end up with some scary permanent results.

WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM DOG FOOD

One of the interesting things in life is doing your best to watch something on YouTube, and being subjected with ad after ad. Most of the time these are geared towards something you might be interested in. Maybe something you had searched, or videos previously viewed. In my personal viewing adventures most of them have been political ads of late. Telling me how the world is about to end and if you do not vote for the candidate that sponsored the ad, the blood will be on your hands. Sometimes this is put forth metaphorically, sometimes literally.

Before the election came about, and I am sure once it is gone, my ads were a lot different. Some that always popped up were for dog food. More specifically, fresh dog food. This was either for the Farmer’s Dog or the company owned by actress Katherine Heigl called Badland’s Ranch. The fact that I had to look this up to get the name will assure these ads keep coming. Two of my favorites come from each of the companies just mentioned. One, from Badland’s Ranch, has Ms. Heigl asking the question why dogs lived longer in the 1970s then now. She goes on to explain it has to do with the quality of food they were given. The other, from the Farmer’s Dog, has starts dramatically with the sound of dry dog food being poured into a dog bowl. A booming voice informs us that “No living being should eat processed food for every meal of their lives.” This is a hard point to argue.

There are two other points that these ads brought to mind. First, I do not have a dog at present. I am being shown these ads at least 20 times a day and I do not even own a dog. This is much to Margie’s dismay. The second is what I find both ironic and amusing. These companies, and advertisers, have figured out how important it is to dogs to eat whole, natural food. How limiting the dogs exposure to processed food helps with a range of issues from digestion to problems with their joints and coat. They also recognize the fact that consuming all of this processed food has resulted in a reduction in lifespan.

Here is a crazy thought, how come we do not see ads for this in humans? They have proved that 90% of disease is lifestyle driven. We are currently consuming more processed food than ever before. Insurance companies would rather pay for ads selling you the latest medication, with a million side effects, than to tell you how important eating whole, unprocessed food is. In fact, very rarely are things that promote health covered by insurance. They would rather treat you once you are sick. Which to me sounds more like sick care than health care.

The two things that I want to bring to your attention here are as follows. First, if they have had all of this success with dogs by simply switching them to whole and healthy food, imagine what changes could await you by doing the same. If you can, try to eliminate, or at least limit, your consumption of processed food. Read labels. It should not take 35 ingredients to make meat loaf. Second, is pay attention to everything around you. Even a dog food ad can offer some inspiration.

A EASY, NEW PATH TO GRATITUDE 🙏

Last post we discussed the single best self-improvement activity you can do. If you haven’t read that post, I recommend giving it a look. In my own life, gratitude has been one of, if not the, most powerful tools to help me live an amazing life. If you spend any time at all in the self-improvement arena, you have no doubt heard a lot about gratitude. It had a prominent role in the movie The Secret. For good reason. Gratitude can bring you peace. It can take you from feeling like you are constantly chasing the next thing, to feeling abundant and happy. That is without any change in outside circumstances. After developing an attitude of gratitude, even if things do go south, you will be able to weather them a lot better.

If gratitude is so powerful (it is) then why are we not all using it? If gratitude can transform our lives in so many positive ways (it can) how come everyone is not engaged in a ritual that will bring more gratitude into their lives. One of the reasons is the methods that have been suggested. They can seem labor intensive. Really, for the return they offer it is well worth it. Let us consider doing a gratitude journal. It is probably the most suggested activity. I even wrote a section about it in my second book, Living the Dream. You basically write 3 to 5 things you are grateful for every day and why you are grateful for them. This not only gives you the initial hit of dopamine, the feel good chemical in the brain, but rewires your brain. Knowing that you will be sitting down to write this list has your mind subconsciously on the lookout for things that you are grateful for to write down. This is a very good thing.

The problem with this method is that in a world where everyone is super busy and wants everything yesterday, taking 5 minutes to write in a journal or a notebook can seem impossible. This can seem like too much work even for people who spend hours scrolling through their phone. That brings very little, if any, positive things into their lives. This, however, is the secret to our new method. Sense we seem addicted to scrolling mindlessly, let us use it to our advantage! All you will need for this activity is a cell phone and an urge to feel more grateful.

Here is the secret method. In your gallery of pictures, create a separate album of pictures of things you are grateful for. This could be your spouse, your family, your dog, your car, a beautiful sunset or anything else that you are grateful for. Had a great vacation? Throw a picture of that in there. Love a particular restaurant? How about a picture of you there? Someone who just makes you smile by the thought of them? Maybe a picture of them or even both of you together? You could even have pictures of quotes that remind you to be grateful. The possibilities are endless. Then, in one of your scrolling sessions, open the album and look at the pictures. Much like the journal, done long enough it should train your brain to think of and look for things to be grateful for to add to this album. Even if you like other forms of gratitude, this would be a great one to add. I know I am going to start an album as soon as I finish writing this post. My first picture will be of Margie and I in Jamaica for the first time. I was able to make one of her dreams come true and I am grateful for that. Not to mention, I am grateful for her and the love we share.

I encourage you to create a grateful picture album on your phone today. The coffee shop I am writing this in is about to close which will force me to stop writing, go home and get some things done and start working on my gratitude album! What will be some of the pictures in your album? What are you grateful for? Please share your answers in the comments below.

THE SINGLE BEST SELF-IMPROVEMENT ACTIVITY 😁

Over 2 decades in the self-improvement field. Over 2 decades as a self-improvement author. Over 2 decades writing this blog. Over a decade with my YouTube channel. These facts not only make me feel a little old, but show me I have been doing this a very long time. I have given seminars in some of the strangest places. There have been countless books read, seminars attended, podcasts listened to, and conversations had. There continues to be as learning should be a life-long endeavor.

The most popular question I get whether at a book signing, a seminar or even an impromptu conversation in a men’s room is, “What is the best thing I can do to improve my life.” In my second book, Living the Dream, I devote a whole section to what I personally feel is the best activity you can do to change your life. In my many years of experience and in my own life it was what has worked the best. That is developing an attitude of gratitude. What way is the best to do that? Is it a gratitude journal? Is it gratitude affirmations? Is gratitude really better than goal setting or visualization? The answer is the same activity you would use if you were looking to get in shape, lose some weight, improve your relationship or just about anything else in life.

Regardless of the area of your life you wish to improve, the activity you should use is the same. Are you on the edge of your seat? Wondering what this activity is? Personal trainers, life coaches and others will back me up on this. The activity you should use to improve your life is the one you enjoy the most. Take fitness for an example. Squats are one of the best exercises for improving your body. If you committed to doing squats, but did not like them, how long would you stick with it? A month? A week? Maybe only until the soreness kicks in. Taking a walk with your spouse after dinner is not as impactful as a few sets of squats a day. If you enjoy doing that and stick with it for a year, it will have a far greater impact than doing a week of squats and then quitting.

We began this conversation talking about self-improvement. The same holds true here too. Maybe you do not like keeping a gratitude journal. If you do it for a week and quit you are not likely to see a great impact. Maybe saying what you are grateful for out loud is better for you? If you do that for a month you are far likely to see an impact. Next post we will look at an additional way to develop an attitude of gratitude. What if gratitude just isn’t your thing? What if you would rather create a vison board? Maybe you like meditation? Then do those things. If there is something you enjoy, you are more likely to stick with it. The longer you do, the greater impact it will have in your life.

There you have it. The best self-improvement tool is the one you like the most and are most likely to stick with. Whatever that may be. Again, personally I think gratitude is super powerful, but I would rather see you engaged in an activity that works for you. If you are interested in developing an greater sense of gratitude in your life but you haven’t found something that really works for you, come back next post where we look at a way that makes gratitude almost automatic! Feel free to share what is the self-improvement activity you enjoy the most in the comments below!

IF YOU WIN THIS RACE, YOU STILL LOSE 😢

I heard Myles Munroe say something the other day that really resonated with me. “Even if you win the rat race, you are still a rat.” How many of us spend our lives pushing for more? The ironic thing is that we are pushing for more of the wrong things. Are we looking for more time with those we love? No. Are we pushing for more health and vitality? Usually not. In modern society it is all about who has the most and who looks the best. Can you imagine what would happen if you had both of these? Really imagine it for a second. You are the wealthiest and best looking person on the planet. Now what?

You could buy a nice house and car. You could vacation and live wherever you like. Everything would be perfect right? Not so much. You would constantly be wondering if people really cared for you or was it just for you looks and money. You would doubt everyone’s love for you. In some cases, this would be a legitimate concern. You may fear losing your wealth and looks. “Is my hair thinning?” “Does the scale really say I gained that much weight?” “My investments lost how much?” You may even be concerned that someone may have become wealthier or better looking than you. Sounds shallow, but if that is your goal, it may also be your concern.

The secret to winning the rat race is to get out of it. I am not advocating quitting your job and wandering around aimlessly. Instead, focus on purpose and power in your life. When I talk about power, I do not mean in the corporate or material sense. Power over yourself. Power as in being a positive influence for good in the world. Create that kind of power. Speaking of good in the world, altruism is a great way to overcome the rat race. The helping of others can give us the purpose that can set us free.

There are two more things that can help you leave the rat race behind. We speak about them here ad nauseam, but that is because they are so powerful. The first one you probably guessed is gratitude. Instead of striving to obtain all of the things you do not have, try feeling thankful for all you do have. This simple shift will have a host of benefits. It will have you feeling abundance instead of lack. It will slow life down and bring you a great deal of joy. It will also lead you to a greater deal of inner peace. Which leads us to our next point. If you still feel the need to work towards something, make that something peace. Find what gives you inner peace and not what satisfies a desire.

In our point about winning the rat race, you can see it is really no win at all. It will leave you with a life of stress, doubt and chaos. This is not to say that you should not try to improve your life or your standing. Absolutely do that. Just do not do it at the detriment of what is truly important. You should enjoy your journey and it should not be a race. In the race to an amazing life, let us all cheer for each other to win. Let us all work together to help everyone find gratitude and inner peace.

HIDDEN MEDICINE 💊

Last post we talked about what to do when you lose faith in humanity. Sadly, this can happen all to easy. In this country there is an election right around the corner and both major political parties are doing their best to convince us how terrible the other person is and how terrible the country and the world would be if the opposition wins. It wouldn’t be so bad if you could avoid these ads, but they are literally everywhere! On television, online, in your mail box, text, calling, radio, in your mailbox. I swear they would put it on toilet paper if they could. Come to think of it, that is probably where most of it belongs.

The point of all this is that there is a lot of negativity about in the world. Even doing our best to avoid it, we still can become overwhelmed at times. Then what? Last post we looked at some great solutions and I invite you to read them. One important thing we could all use is our space. What I mean is a place that you can escape to that brings you a great deal of inner peace. Above is a picture I took on the way to mine. Nature can bring so much peace and makes a great escape. It can be any place that is special to you. It can be a church, a coffee shop, a park or anything at all. Visit it as often as you need. I had been neglecting that, but went to my spot today. I just sat among the trees and birds and listened to the wind. In no time I felt more at peace than I had in a long time.

Here is a picture from inside my little spot. It helps to be able to meditate in your own way. The benefits of meditation are too many to list here. It does help reduce stress and help you feel grounded. Two very important things when you are feeling overwhelmed. This doesn’t have to be anything complex. Just being fully present and away from distractions will do. You can listen to nature like I did. You can pray. You can pay attention to your breathing. Whatever works for you.

If you do not have a place already, pick one out today. Try a few out. You can never have too many. The best time to find one is before you need it. Then, when the world knocks you over, you can retreat and heal your spirit. It is not only helpful, it is vital.

HAMBURGER AND A HAND GUN…WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

Have you ever felt that the world is going to hell in a hand basket faster than you can believe? Have you ever looked around and the senseless violence in the world and feel completely helpless? What can one person ever begin to hope to do? I want to share a story with you that started me thinking about this. Do not get discouraged. Stick with me and we will look at the answer as to what we can do.

Above is a picture of a local hamburger chain. It is actually where I started my life of employment. Not this exact location, but same company. The food is not the best. The prices really are not either. What makes this place stand out is that it is open 24 hours. Many people visit after a night on the town to help them sober up or continue the party. The story we are about to share is neither of those.

A young lady had come in with her boyfriend one evening. They sat down and ordered some food. Apparently, the food was not coming as quickly as she had desired. This seems to happen a lot these days. Many places are short on help and the help they have is often not dedicated to the needs of the customer. This lady’s solution was to begin throwing things at the employees. I am not sure if this was packets of sugar or cups and silverware. Not the best move if you are hoping for quicker service. The employees began to throw things back at her. Again, not the best option even if the other party had started it. What did our friend do after that? She went to her car and got a gun. Yes, a gun. She came in and shot one of the employees. Fortunately, she was not well versed in the use of a hand gun and the magazine with the ammo fell out. Next she grabbed another employee, put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger…several times. Again, gratefully the bullets had fallen out of the gun.

When I read this story my mind was blown. This lady attempted to end the lives of two people, and pretty much threw away the rest of hers. Why? Because her greasy hamburger was running late. In what world does this make any sense? It was one meal. You eat three a day. You have almost 1,100 in a year. If one does not go to your liking you kill several people? It wasn’t even a good meal! Not that any meal is worth violence.

When we hear a story like this, we can ask many questions. “What is wrong with people?” “What is wrong with the world?” These are legitimate questions. It may also leave you feeling helpless. One person can’t fix the world. Can they? The answer is both yes and no. No person can wave a magic wand and make the world more kind and compassionate. Still, we have more power than we know. Yes, we can vote for change, but there is so much more we can do on a personal level.

One of the best ways to change the world is to change your little corner of it. What I mean by that is to lead by example. In this case, be kind and understanding when food is running late. Complaining will rarely, if ever, make it come quicker. My mother and I waited 30 minutes for a cup of coffee with our dinner the other day. Realize some things are beyond your control. Be a good example to those around you. Treat others with kindness and compassion. Also, do not get too fixed on the news. This story I read about online. There were many more just like it. Here is the thing you rarely read about – good things. They just don’t sell. Just because they don’t sell does not mean they do not happen. The more you read in the news, the more you will believe the sky is falling. Try reading something motivational every day. Create some balance.

Do not forget your power when it seems the world is falling to pieces. You can change the lives of everyone you come in contact with. Love, gratitude and appreciation can transform more lives than you could possibly imagine. Do not let the media convince you the world is as bad as they make it out to be. Look for examples of the good in humanity and the world. If you don’t find as many as you like, be one.

YOU DIDN’T KNOW 🤔

This continues the theme we were discussing yesterday. You should never be too hard on yourself if you are working to get better. This is easier said than done. Who doesn’t have those moments in their life that upon reflection fill them with feelings of guilt and regret over the way they acted or the choices they made? We all do. I certainly know I do. Those feelings serve a purpose. When you feel that pain, it makes you never want to act that way, treat people that way or whatever else it may be. That is not necessarily a bad thing. We can put that to use for us.

When it becomes detrimental is when that paralyzes us from taking action in the present. You must forgive yourself for past mistakes. Yes, it may have been hurtful. Yes, it could have hurt someone’s feelings. You definitely would take it back if you could. You can’t. You have learned. You have made many positive choices and decisions since then. You have learned. If you are punishing the present you for the actions of the past you, then you are convicting an innocent person.

As the year draws to a close, let us all work on being a little kinder to both each other and to ourselves. Creating and maintaining a positive self image will go a long way to helping us treat others with more kindness and compassion.

DO NOT WAIT TO BE PROUD 👏

It is almost the end of the year. Upon reflection, no doubt many of us are feeling a twinge of disappointment for resolutions we set at the beginning of the year that we failed to reach. You wanted to eat healthier but you are reading this blog while having a bowl of ice cream…after a large pizza. It is easy to do. Life can get pretty crazy over a 365 day span. Giving ourselves that little dose of pain and disappointment can be a healthy thing. It can spur us to action, even if that action comes at a significantly later time than we intended it to.

That brings us to today’s point. You can start a new beginning at any time. Not only can you, but you should be proud when you do. If you ate like complete garbage for the first 10 months of the year, give yourself a little feeling of guilt and disappointment. That is ok. It will help motivate you not to do so any longer. Following 10 months of supporting local fast food chains, if you have a healthy week of eating, give yourself some love for that. A week of healthy eating is still something to be proud of. It doesn’t matter if it comes in January or November. The more positive associations you attach to a healthy behavior, the more likely you are to maintain it.

You may not have accomplished the goal of being in better shape by the end of the year. You can still be proud of not having any soda this week. Perhaps you haven’t stuck to your gym 3 days a week plan. You can still be proud for taking walks after dinner. Build on the momentum. Your goal will get closer each and every day.

CLEAN YOUR FILTERS! 🧼

This may be hard to believe, but that is an actual picture of the cabin air filter that came out of my car. No wonder my allergies acted up whenever I turned the heat on. When it comes to my car, I am really good with upkeep, but this is a part that I never thought of. Thankfully, now I am breathing free and clean. It started me thinking, as so many things do, of the things we discuss on this site. This filter was supposed to keep out things that would be harmful. Instead, by not inspecting my filter, my car was being filled with all kinds of unhealthy things. It was literally causing me to be sick.

You might be able to guess where I am going with this. In our life we have many filters. One of mine is that I do my best to limit the influence of negative people and situations. Why surround myself with things that will lower my energy if I have a choice. I also try to limit my exposure to unhealthy diet options. Both of these filters need constant inspection. There could be some negative people who have positioned themselves in my life. This is often a ‘friend of a friend’. There are the unhealthy snacks bought as gifts from well-intentioned friends. If I do not examine my filters often these can slip through.

These negative influences can sneak through and end up making big impacts if we are not careful. Check your filters. Make sure there is nothing getting through in your life that may have a negative impact. While you are at it, you might want to check the cabin air filter on your car as well. Take my word for it.