My favorite day of the year, the first day of summer. It is the longest amount of daylight. It is a season of growth and sunshine. It just feels as if happinessblossoms on every corner. Where I live, this season is far too brief for my liking. So today, I do my best to make the most of everything.
To me, the best way to celebrate summer is by focusing on the things you find fun in your life. What makes the sun shine in your spirit? Do more of that today! Have an ice-cold glass of lemonade and a scoop of ice cream. Share a smile with someone you love.
Last post, we looked at how environment and ritual can give us a grateful life. We can use those two tools to transform any area of our life we want to focus on. This will be expanded on when my fourth book comes out this fall. So you do not have to wait until then to start creating the life of your dreams, we are going to look at using these two tools on the most important area of our life, ourrelationships.
If you think about it, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationships. If you have all the wealth and fame in the world but no romantic partner or friends to share it with, your life is going to suck. If you are suffering in poverty and insecurity and you have no partner or friends to help you through, your life will really resemble a flaming dumpster.
Enough of the negativity. Let’s look at what having amazing relationships can do for us. Have you ever received some great news and had to wait to share it with someone special? It feels like you could explode! Why? It is not like the situation will change when you share the news. How about watching sports? Does it feel any different to be sitting at home alone watching the game versus seeing it livewith a friend and thousands of other screaming fans? Why is that? Because as human beings, we are wired for connection.
Connection not only amplifies our joy, it halves our sorrow. Have you ever had a tough day at work (silly question) and came home to the embrace of a loved one? How about a stressful family situation and then went out for fun with some friends? Suddenly, the stress is a little less. This is not only good for us physically but will help us address the situation better.
How can we use environment and ritual to improve our relationships? How about scheduling a regular coffee date with that special friend? Maybe cooking a special meal for the one you love? Another great ritual could be sending out a greeting card once a month. Just a card reminding people how amazing they are and how much they mean to you. Do this once a week, and in a year, you will have improved 52 relationships! (Side note our address here at secret2anamazinglife is P.O. Box 333 Oak Creek WI 53154 USA) Not into the whole greeting card thing? Try sending a well-crafted email or post on someone’s social media page.
Environment can be used much the same way. In my first two books, I advocate using a ‘Happy Playlist’ of songs to lift your spirit. You can use the same method to put together a playlist that reminds you of a special friend or the one you love. Can you imagine how you would greet your partner if you listened to a playlist of songs that reminded you of them the whole way home? How about displaying little things that remind you of all the amazing people in your life? Maybe things they gave you, or just something that reminds you of them. Every time you see that object, that special person in your life comes to mind. Every time they come to mind, your appreciation for them grows.
These are only some ways that you can use environment and ritual to create the relationships of your dreams. How would you use the two tools of self-improvement to positively impact your relationships? Share your ideas in the comments below.
This will be a very powerful post! Today we will learn 2 items that can transform any area of our life. Problems with your health? This can help. Relationship losing its spark? This will fan the flames of desire. The best part is, once you put these two things in place, the change is almost automatic! As a bonus, the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
You may be thinking this all sounds too good to be true, and I would not blame you. Let’s dive right into the first tool you can use, and I think you will grasp the power of this.Remember, the best way to witness the effect these strategies for success will have in your life is to use them yourself.
The first tool is the environment. We discussed this a few posts back, but let us take a closer look. Many people are chasing that better life. Chasing that perfect relationship. Chasing that great career or healthy lifestyle. Many of these same people are in environments that do not serve those ends. You are looking for a healthy lifestyle, but your refrigerator is full of ice cream and cake. You want to turn that side hustle into a dream career, but your bedroom is full of gaming gear and other distractions.
Reaching goals can be tough enough. Creating an environment where those goals can flourish makes it so much easier. Want a great relationship? Fill your bookshelf with books on the subject. Watch some great videos on YouTube or a relationship podcast. Fill your cabinets with tasty and healthy snacks, so those are your only options.
The second tool to transform your life is ritual. Before you recoil in shock and terror, I am not saying you have to dance in the moonlight with your friends or whatever is happening in that picture above. A ritual is nothing more than an intentional habit. An act we purposely engage in for a desired outcome.Whether that outcome is health,wealth, or my favorite, gratitude, you can develop a ritual.
Let us use gratitude as an example. I think we could all use more gratitude in our lives. It not only helps us feel good, it changes our perception on life.When we are focused on what we lack we feel poor and like life is a sentence of sorts. Our life feels like a job. Have your you ever felt that way? Than you could use more gratitude.
Here is how we can use ritual and environment to stay in the mindset of gratitude. Let us start by finding our favorite quote on gratitude. Now print out 3 copies. Place one where you will see it first thing in the morning. This could be the bathroom mirror, the coffee maker, the refrigerator door. Whatever works for you. Place one in your car for your commute. Lastly, keep one in your pocket. You now have surrounded yourself with reminders of gratitude. You have the environment.
Now comes the ritual. Every morning, say the quote out loud 3 times. Thus reminding yourself to be grateful that day. Whenever you reach in your pocket for keys, a pen, or anything else, take your quote out and read it. At the end of the day, write three things your grateful for that day and why in a journal. You could keep this by your bed. This would add to the environment.
Can you imagine how much easier living a grateful life would be using these secrets? I would love to hear your tips for living grateful in the comments below. Come back next post where we look at ideas to use this to create the relationship of your dreams!
As we start a new week, let us do our best to keep a smile on our faces. This can seem challenging depending on what life throws our way. Here is something that will help – focusing on our blessings. That is everything we have to be grateful for on our lives. Can you imagine how different your life would be if you were so focused on gratitude that you had to be interrupted to be affected by negativity? How would your life be different if being grateful was the rule and not the exception?
This sounds great, but how can this really be possible? How can we remain grateful in a world that is often ‘positive challenged’? In a word – reminder. Put as many things in front of you to remind you not only of the things you already have to be grateful for but to discover new ones as well.
This will be different for everyone, as everyone has different things to be grateful for. You could keep a picture of a loved one in the car to look at during the commute to and from work. This could be one of the 2 or 4 legged varieties.You could keep a gratitude journal on your nightstand by your bed.Maybe a well-placedaffirmation on the bathroom mirror or coffee machine?
These are just a few ideas. Choose what works for you. Next post, we will look at 2 steps to take that will not only work for gratitude, but for any area of your life. You will definitely want to return for that. Better yet, subscribe to this blog so you do not miss a single post. Feel free to share what you do to stay in gratitude in the comments below.
What an important reminder. We know there are things in our lives that we need to change. We look in the mirror and see a little too much of us to love. We open our mouth and everything that comes out is not necessarily kind and encouraging. Our bank account seems to have the decimal point in the wrong place. These can all seem like tall orders to tackle. How do we transform our physique? How do we remember to speak life and hope to others? How can we turn around our finances?
Here is the important thing to consider, these issues did not occur in a day and so it may take some time to turn them around. Do not let that discourage you. Quite the opposite. I am guilty of this myself. We look at how long it may take to achieve the end state and give up before we begin. It is so vital to remember all of the small wins you will experience along the way. You cannot solve the problem in one day, but you can begin to turn things around. Introduce one healthy meal or snack into your diet. Go for a walk after dinner. Share one genuine compliment a day. Start an automatic savings plan. All of these may not seem like much at the time, but they will grow into success.
Perhaps the most important thing is to keep yourself inspired. It can seem overwhelming when things may not seem to be happening at the rate you had planned, or maybe even take a step back. It is important to keep a source of inspiration nearby. Perhaps reading this blog every day.Keep those little reminders present because there will still be times life seems overwhelming, and you need to be reminded… one at a time.
I have written about this in the past, and even done a YouTube video about it. (check out my channel at Neil Panosian) It is so important it needs repeating. Do you want a life that is better than most? Do you want to live a life that is filled with more happiness than most? Than decide to! This really shouldn’t be a secret, but for some reason it remains so to many.
When you ask most people if they are going to have a good day, they respond by telling you they do not know. Maybe they even are cautious and say, “We will have to wait and see?” Wait for what? If you are waiting to see if the world and the people in it will cooperate with you so that your day can be good, most of the time you will be disappointed. That means most of the time you will not be happy. That is how the majority of people on the planet live their life. They leave their happiness up to circumstances beyond their control.
What can we do to take back control from those circumstances and begin to choose to have a happy day? Let us look at what most people do when they start their day. Many lament the sound of the alarm, and often hit snooze so they can experience it yet again. They look at their phone and see what drama others in their life may have. They may even, if they are of the less informed, watch the news to discover all that is wrong with the world. Then, they ‘fight traffic’, go to a job they have been dreading and do the same on the way home. That is not the formula for a happy day.
Our goal is to pick rituals and an environment where a great day can’t help but blossom. What does this include? That is really up to you. It can be having inspiring things attached to your mirror like the lady in the picture above. It can be thinking of three things you are grateful for before you get out of bed. Listen to something inspiring on the way to work. That way, if you get stuck in traffic it is just more inspiration. Will this make all of your days sunshine and rainbows? Of course not. Starting the day with an intention and determination for happiness does a lot more than leaving it up to chance.
How about you? What will you do to create a great day instead of leaving it up to chance? What rituals or environment to you have that helps start your day in the right direction? Please share with us so we can all benefit. If you are so inspired, click the link below to check out my YouTube video I filmed years ago on this very subject.
This quote is a great reminder in a world focused on material and status accomplishment. While that is great, it is what you have gone through to get there that is impressive. Your persistence in accomplishing your goal is what makes you who you are. Trying to eat better and accidentally slip and fall and a doughnut lands in your mouth? That could be enough for most people to beat themselves up and go back to eating junk. If you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and grab a salad for lunch, you are my kind of hero.
Please do not under value the fortitude it takes to keep pushing after a setback. It is something that defines character, internal strength and gives us the ability to handle difficulty in the future. If you have ever fallen and got back up, remember you are the hero. You deserve the glory. Keep fighting. It is within that fight that the glory lives.
Today’s post is a combination of a lot of great sources. It also contains one of the great secrets to turn your life from one you just have, to one you love. If you are looking for more of these, my book Living the Dream, is full of them. I will leave a link for it at the end of the post. What is great about this strategy is that it is free, anyone can do it, and the more upside down your life seems to be, the better it will work for you. All that is required is a single change in perception. While this is certainly simple, it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of.
The first source of inspiration was my mother. After a nice 3 mile walk through the park, as seen above, we stopped to enjoy an iced coffee. While relaxing and taking in some sun, she mentioned this plaque she had seen. It mentioned something about turning your challenges into blessings. I fail to remember the exact words. This is the great secret. Do not be tempted to discount such a powerful tool. By seeing what we often think of as challenges in life as the blessings they often are, it can change our entire emotional state.
As we discussed this subject, more examples jumped into my mind. This also shows my interest in a vast amount of subjects, but that is for another post. First was Bishop T.D. Jakes. I enjoy a lot of his thoughts, and am currently in the middle of reading one of his books. He said that a lot of people do not open the gifts God has given them because they do not like the wrapping paper. Ponder that for a second. How many times in our life do we reflect on what seems to be a challenge, or even a tragedy, and realize without it, we would not have received some very important good things? To further accent the point, some lyrics also popped into my head. Michael Franti sings a great song called Work Hard and Be Nice to People. One of the lyrics from that song states, “Take all of the lessons, add a little love and turn them into blessings.” With a little love, any situation can be used to help both us and the world around us.
The last example that came to my mind was that of David Blair. He was a British merchant seaman in the early 1900s. He was going to get a big pay day by being part of a crew on a new ship’s first voyage. At the last minute, another ship owned by the same company was held over for repairs. The crew from that ship was transferred to Blair’s ship and our good friend David was told to stay home. He was very mad that he was going to miss the prestige, the pay day and the experience of sailing on this ship. He was stuck on land. The ship he got kicked off of at the last moment? The Titanic. 1500 people lost their life on that ship and no doubt David Blaine would have been one. What looked like bad luck ended up saving his life.
As we can see in these examples, what often seems like misfortune can turn into some of the greatest blessings in our life. We cannot often see it at the time, but it pays to ask the question, “What is the blessing in this challenge?” it can turn the event around, turn your day around and turn your life around. Here is one final example about how bad luck can be good fortune generations later. My Great-grandmother was scheduled to sail over to America on the Titanic. For some reason that has been lost to time, she was unable to. No doubt disappointed at the time, it saved her life. That in turn allowed my life to be and you to be reading this post right now. How many challenges in your life have turned out to be blessings?
We discussed a few posts ago how chasing happiness is a fool’s errand. The comparison was of chasing a butterfly. It will only fly away. If you create an environment where a butterfly would like to be you will attract one to you. Same with happiness. It isn’t about finding it somewhere outside of you. It is not in the new car, the new house or even the new relationship. How many people do we hear of who have all of these and are still not happy. Instead of chasing these things, we would be better off creating and cultivating an environment where happiness flourishes.
How do we create our own ‘happiness garden’ to stick with the metaphor? Above are 5 great ideas to start with. Freeing our hearts of hatred we are holding on to certainly helps. It is impossible to feel both hatred and happiness at the same time. Not to mention, hatred is extremely bad for our health. The same can be said for worry. There was a study showing that 98% of everything we worry about is beyond our control or completely unnecessary. Why not spend that moment focused on gratitude? Live simply is another great way to create happiness. The less we require to be happy, the more likely we are to be so. A pretty simple equation. Give more. Giving really can be a secret to happiness. Giving not only brightens the day of the person you are giving to, but yours as well. That is a win/win situation. Those kinds of situations certainly create happiness. Expecting less, much like living simply, increases our chances of being happy.
Stop chasing happiness and focus on creating an environment where happiness flourishes. Try these 5 items to start. If you have any other suggestions, please share them in the comments below. Any ‘gardening tips’ for happiness will be appreciated by all.
Today is a rare and pleasant day. The sun is shining, there is a slight breeze and the world seems relaxed. I decided to venture out to a local coffee shop. I had planned to write blogs as I was due to create more. As I pulled up to the coffee shop, and with some urging from a conversation with my mother earlier, I decided to do a little light reading first. I am in the middle of a great book by Bill Bryson. I enjoy his offerings, even though he has never thanked me for the book I have sent him. Here is something crazy, I rarely do this.
Why is sitting out on a sunny day with a good book such a rare thing for me? It is too expensive. The cup of coffee is roughly $3. It includes a free refill making each cup only $1.50. The book was a gift, so that was not much at all. Why do I say it is so expensive? See if this sounds familiar to you. As I sat down to do something for simply pleasure, in this case reading, all of the things I needed to do popped into my head. I needed to write blogs. I needed to work on my fourth book. The house needs attending to. Just sitting and reading almost made me feel guilty. I was doing so at the expense at all of the things that I needed to accomplish.
Here is what is important to remember – you need moments like this. Just as you need diet and exercise to feed your body, and you need reading and learning to feed your mind, you also need simple pleasures to feed the spirit. If you are still feeling guilty, let me tell you something else that you can do while experiencing these simple pleasures. In our busy world, taking time for simple pleasures can seem like quite a luxury. Another thing that can seem impossible in our busy world is being present. This is extremely important to do while taking time to enjoy simple pleasures. If you just want to sit and listen to music, do that. Hear the music, feel the music. Do not fill your head with all of the thoughts that you have about what needs to be done, or problems in your life. Be present for your simple pleasures. Above is a list of simple pleasures for you to enjoy. Think about how you can be present and totally enjoy these brief vacations of the spirit in an otherwise chaotic world.
If taking a few moments for yourself makes you feel guilty, it may be a sign that you need to do it more. Remember, you are still doing some very important things while you are taking time for yourself. You are feeding your spirit. That is one third of your total being. You are also taking a moment to be totally present and that is a very valuable skill in today’s world. Pick a few of the items that speak to you off of the list above and give yourself some moments of simple pleasure today.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 